Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I really don't remember having any SEED sanctioned fun, but I was a girl.  I used to be jealous because it seemed always guys being able to get out of rap sessions to do maintenance, watching the gate and doing that ridiculous cracked marble floor in his office (anyone remember when they got all that broken marble).  I think it can be attributed to Art's attitude on women.  

The only thing I remember was working the intake desk a few times and being a runner for the phone.  I do remember thinking, that as boring as it was, (we weren't allowed to even talk to each other when we were doing those tasks), it was a whole lot better that being in group.

I do remember one Saturday we skipped the SEED and spent the day out in the woods by the Corbit area.  Said we had car trouble, my brother, Greg G.(from Jupiter)   A guy
that lived they and myself.  I was called into Libby's office and blasted, but at least I didn't get stood up in group like the guys did. I remember listening to everyone tell the guys off and about ready to have a heart attack, thinking I was next.

Antigen,
Do you know when Straight opened in St Pete?  
I remember at the Ft Lauderdale Seed they were going to do some type of a news letter and the group was asked to come up with names.  Not know anything about Straight, I sent in the title Straight form the Seed, I (being young) thought it was a great name and could never figure out why the staff just glared at me (in group of course).
Jupiter

"The whole "condom in the back of Arts car" event just seemed to twist the knife"

Ok, What did I miss?

You know....if the Seed was in Utah, who knows how many "wives" the old bastard would have.

I guess there would be no conclusive answer to any study, I mean unless you send the same person in (have to use a time machine) with the same circumstances, no way to know for sure.  We are all so different, biologically, physically, emotionally and then you add in all the environmental factors, I don't know how you soul sort it out.  Then you would have to factor in the staff at the treatment, did they treat everyone the same, where they more willing to help hardcore addicts than those who were experimenting?

It's not like a double blind study where you can give someone a placebo and then take a few blood tests or answer a few questions.  Even the research on say Bipolar, is not conclusive.  Each person is different and most with that particular disease have overlapping symptoms of other mental health issues. It would be damn near impossible, anyone answering a study would be bias based on what their "perceived" was.  What if they were deluded and thought they were ok but still trying to please the staff?

I think the problems lies in perception.  You can have 100 people witness and event and literally get 100 different versions of the same event, and NO ONE is really wrong.  

Have you ever seen the study, I can't remember when it happened but was in a psy textbook I had, where a child was, at birth deprived of all human affection, they were fed, diapered, etc, but no playing, cuddling of human touch.  There was another one in which a dog was put in a caged area.  Every time he tried to step out of certain boundaries he was shocked.  He literally curled up in a ball and gave up.  

I am not sure what it is that makes some of us fight and some give up.  I complied for many years before I was able to fight.  I had some real depression bottled up inside, I believe to be environmental since I never took any meds.  I went to a therapist in my 30's, and after spending a month or so answering questions and talking about my life, she said basically said anyone who went through what I did would be crazy if they didn't think they were crazy....lol   Gotta love her technical terms!  All in all,  I can to terms with not being able to change the past or the people in it.  I could either turned into a hateful mean person, or be positive and draw some type of good from it.  Do not get me wrong, I would give anything NOT to have to have gone through what I did, but since that can't be changed I will not let it rule my life or let the hate fester inside of me.

Although I can vent some anger here on this board, it is not a reflection of my life.  It is merely my frustration of those in power taking advantage of someone weaker.  Holding accountable those who should have known better and looked the other way.

I used to have them.  They were all basically the same,  I got to tell THEM they were full of shit and their heads were out of wack!

I was not referring to the death camps and gas chambers.  I was referring to the Nazi's experiments, in which they did experiments (bizarre experiments) to prisoners.  Death I feel would have been a better option, a relief from the constant torture.  I don't know about anyone else, but I was suicidal a few times during my SEED stay. I wanted death, a relief and in my mind an answer.

I have been abused, physically and emotionally, and all I can say is, bruises heal.
I realize this may be different for others.

When you were young as I was, to have all of the staff, oldcomers, parents ,etc constantly telling you what a worthless piece  of crap you are (people who have no clue about who you really are), you start telling it to yourself.  You no longer need anyone to do it for you.  Add to that the fact that I never got it, never really could make myself think like them.  If I tried it was a lie, therefore reinforcing the fact I was seriously screwed up.  Pretty screwed up considering we  suppose to think for ourselves.

I still say I was one of Art's sacrificial lamb.  His knowledge on psychology was like Freud on crack.......  

The Nazi's wanted complete control, absolute obedience and unchallenged loyalty ..... anyone else see a connection to the SEED?

Can you imagine what would have happened IF he was able to succeed?  Make the world one big happy (S&M) family?

Amazing what mind control can do.  I suppose the could tell a blind kid his head was out of wack....geeezzz

I guess that sounds a little strange.  I just remembered that when I told Ginger I had a bad headache and the sun was hurting my eyes ( I was in tears pain and we were sitting out in the back of the building in the heat), told me I was "full of shit and acting like a baby".
I didn't go to a dr until I was 19, because I thought it wasn't that bad and didn't want to be told I was weak.


Has anyone else had staff tell you something like that?