Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Do you think it's possible to have a therepuetic environment, and at the same time teach respect for authority?  This is the question I ask myself a lot.  Many kids at CEDU don't have serious emotional problems, they just have absolutely no respect for the authority of their parents so their parents automatically think they are crazy because they won't listen to them or do what is asked of them.  A kid at CEDU is their for not cleaning his room.  Another was raised by a disabled mother and has no respect for authority, but is very emotionally stable.  Then there is very emotionally unstable kids who cling to every word that staff says.  If someone is emotionally unstable and disrespectful, it seems they end up in lock down or wilderness. I am not that experienced in this field, but I would like to ask you, Manchester, or anyone.  Is there a balance?  Is it possible to teach both?  Is this the problem inherent in the CEDU system?  Some students don't ever listen to staff and end up on consistent work assignments or dishes given to them by the variety of staff they disrespect. After a while, it becomes normal to them and they don't care even more than they didn't before. One student had 72 nights of DRC.  Would it be better if we did not have this power?  I, myself, don't use it as much as most.  When I first started working, I didn't use it at all.  It was only when people started to disrespect me and literally treat me like shit, that I began to give consequences.  I don't think that they treated me like shit because I was an asshole though.  It was just the fact that I was "staff".  A part of the system.  Is there a difference between punishment and consequences?  I don't think so.  CEDU does.  
     At CEDU I am both friend and enemy.  I am doctor and executioner.  I don't think it's possible to fill all of these roles.  Everybody does there own thing.  Some staff are relaxed, some are stern.  Some hand out work assignments for minor infractions  and others get nothing for doing the same thing.  No amount of training sessions can change this.  The inconsistency is inherent in the system and the system is that if staff says it, it's right.  They learn what they can get away with from whom, so if they are rebellious most of their time is spent trying to do that.  I can think of at least 10 kids that just need old fashioned discipline.  An idea instilled in them that life isn't always going to go their way.  We have every kind of kid at CEDU.  We have normal teenagers who experimented too heavily with drugs. We have rapists avoiding jail and girls that have been raped.  We have selfish spoiled brats who have gotten their way their entire life.  We have firestarters.  We have seriously suicidal teens too. We have anti social computer junkies.  We have kids from foreign countries.  We have kids whose parents are there for them and kids whose parents are not.  We have a cornocopia of problems and one system that is convinced it can solve them all. That is the real problem of CEDU.

I was wondering if any of you ever saw a student who actually benefited from the program.  I see many at my school.  I notice positive change in many people in just the short time I've been there.  I believe that the three agreements are a good fundamental basis for life in general.  I know there are many who would advance themselves more in the outside world, not so closed off from society.  I also know many who would get chewed up and spit out in the real world.  You can't expect to succeed in life addicted to drugs.  You can't expect to get respect from people engaging in promiscuous sex.  You also can't beat people up every time someone pisses you off and expect to not get consequences for that action.  Someone with one of these problems or a combination thereof will have a very hard time in the "real world".  In that sense, we do help people succeed in the "real world".  I can admit that some kids are misplaced at CEDU.  Can anyone admit that some kids are actually helped at CEDU?

I apologize for not replying quicker.  I have no home computer and I can only use one Tues-Thurs.

If you are wondering why I came to this site, it is not to preach my belief in a perfect philosophy, because I don't believe that one exists.  A student at CEDU RS told me to check out this site.  I have not been working their for long and I thought I could learn more about where I work from you guys than from the staff, whom I don't always agree with.  Save the sheep and drone insults for where they are deserved, and please treat me as the concerned CEDU worker that I am.  I know I will never understand what it is like to be CEDU student.  I think it sucks just as much as you do that there are kids stuck up there on the mountain.  I also know that they are still there, with or without me, and nothing I do can change that.  I do everything I can to make their stay less painful on a daily basis.  If you have to blame somebody, please don't blame the staff, they are not the reason kids are up there.  Blame your parents if you have to blame someone, they sent you there. As long as parents continue to want to ship their kids away, places like CEDU will always exist.

Revenge is not a good reason to do something, I never said you were full of shit, and I only make $11.30 per hour.