Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones => Topic started by: vvigil on October 21, 2004, 10:21:00 AM
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It's weird to read all this about Rudy. When I was at cedu, he was one of the only staff who was actually nice to me or seemingly so (1991-1993). I'm getting a different perspective and really want to hear more about him. I remember that he had a dark past and never really talked about it (that's ironic considering the amount of self-disclosure we were forced into). Tell me more about him and his wife, Jill. I'm really curious- you've sparked my interest.
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rudy was a pedophile along with the early cedu abusers led by allgood and wasserman melzer and those who did whatever they said. when caught he tried to run away but allgood and wasserman convinced themselves that having his way with young boys was his right because he was one of them. cedu is a cult and they believe that they should have their way all the time regardless of how many kids get gang raped or brainwashed by the abusive followers of allgood. liver is the least of rudy's vices
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I think that is bullshit.
Sorry but Rudy was one of the only reasons I stayed. He was a straight shooter and even said on many occasions to my parents that CEDU was not all it was cracked up to be. He had my back endlessly even if his wife made my life a living hell.
Rudy is one of those people who was always on the fringe at CEDU. The reason was that he didn't buy the lie and he was hassled daily by other staffers and wasserman endlessly.
He is a good man and one of two people at CEDU who made me feel like one day I would get out of CEDU and have a real life.
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Many other staff throw false fronts, for example the RC steve was cool to his kids, but the shit he said to our parents was insane, I know staff that would talk to you about CEDU and say they didnt like it that much and you would agree and then the next day u get slapped with a restriction for being negative. The Staff aren't your friends!
:skull: Staff :skull:
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I have to disagree.
Jen Poulsen was a friend and so was Rudy. I know how both of them feel about CEDU and they have never claimed to feel any other way. They were both victims of the school. Each to varying degrees.
Rudy was even told at one point to not talk to my parents.
Guess he was getting a little too honest with them.
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Was it okay for Rudy to explicitly describe the things he described to young kids?
Was it okay to turn a blind eye on how Jill used to grab all the young boy's asses?
Was it right to force a girl to describe how many people she'd given head to in front of all her peers?
He was instrumental in brainwashing so many poor kids at his mercy.
I don't think what he did was right.
Rudy was a pedophilic wierdo and I would never ever want him anywhere around my kids.[ This Message was edited by: Bryan Felsher on 2004-12-06 10:05 ]
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On 2004-12-03 23:06:00, gabriellegg wrote:
"I think that is bullshit.
Sorry but Rudy was one of the only reasons I stayed. He was a straight shooter and even said on many occasions to my parents that CEDU was not all it was cracked up to be. He had my back endlessly even if his wife made my life a living hell.
Rudy is one of those people who was always on the fringe at CEDU. The reason was that he didn't buy the lie and he was hassled daily by other staffers and wasserman endlessly.
He is a good man and one of two people at CEDU who made me feel like one day I would get out of CEDU and have a real life."
This is Bullshit!
"Rudy didn't buy the lie?" Bullshit!!!
Rudy Bentz based his entire life around the
Cedu lie, it's been his bread and butter
for the past 30 years! Cedu is his whole life!
At Cedu-RS rudy was by far the biggest bully
there. Rudy used to get off on cornering
14 and 15 year old kids while screaming at top
of his lungs and simultaneously spitting in their
faces.
Rudy would single out students (and even new staff members) who he felt were "out of agreement" with the program (ie: they weren't as easy to brainwash), and he would publicly yell at, insult, label, and humiliate these people in front of the whole school. He would do this at meal times, house around the pit, cleaning crews,
lights out, he couldn't go anywhere without attacking someone.
As for Rudy's raps, they were by far the loudest and most abusive that I experienced.
Rudy was hardly "on the fringe" at cedu. At Cedu-RS he was the staff "Hard-Ass",or the "Chief Cedu Enforcer" if you will.
The kids at Cedu-RS feared Rudy the most.
Even the other staff feared Rudy. Rudy was every where at cedu-rs, nothing went down there without Rudy having a say in it.
As for Rudy's relationship with the Wassermans...
Rudy had his nose so far up Mel's ass that quite frankly, I can't figure out how he managed to
breathe all of those years! Rudy has been with
cedu for 30 years!!! Of course he bought the lie!
What planet are you from, Egg?
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I guess this is directed at me.
I have no idea who you are or what years you attended CEDU-RS. I can only speak of my experience there (grad 89) with Rudy and honestly if it were not for him I probably wouldn't have escaped without massive amounts of emotional damage from the lovely and untrained staff at CEDU-RS.
Maybe I was one of the "favored", it's possible. I actually saw Rudy go head to head with Jill since she liked to use me as her own "emotional punching bag" in raps, on the floor, wherever she could.
I can think of a whole slew of staff who were "worse" than Rudy. How about Dan Earle? How about jill bentz and that shrill voice calling every girl on campus a whore and slut? How about Guy Bonano for Christ Sake???? I could hear him screaming in the kitchen when he was leading a rap on the other side of the property when he wasn't grabing students and airlifting them off the floor.
I am not saying Rudy is a saint. I am only saying that he treated me and my family with a frankness that got him in trouble on many an occasion. I know I was a thorn in the side of CEDU and I know he got tons of shit for backing me....from his wife as well.
I will never forget what happened to me there and some of my only pleasant memories are of Rudy and Jen Poulsen.....
*end rant*
G
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Well, at least now you are making a little more sense. I was at Cedu-rs for all of 1991 & 1/2 of 1992 (I didn't stay to graduate, thank god!).
I believe that it is very possible that you were one of Rudy's favorites, and because of that he was easy on you. Most likely he was attracted to you. But to the rest of us, RUDY BENZ WAS AN ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT! RUDY is a bully, pure and simple.
RUDY treated me like shit for 1 year and 7 months. He Screamed at me, Labeled Me, Provoked Me, Threatened Me, Lied To My Parents About Me, and Humiliated Me Publicly. Let me tell you a little story about me and Rudy:
One morning when I was in Discovery, I was reading in the library while refusing a work assignment (I was supposed to be sitting at my table). Rudy came upstairs, screamed at me, and ordered me to go back to my table (in the dining room). After I told him to "Fuck Off", Rudy grabbed my arm, ripped me out of my chair, and physically tried to force me to go downstairs with him. After a brief scuffle (we wrestled around the library for a few seconds,) I managed to free my arm from Rudy's grasp after shoving him into a book shelf near the library door.
Mr. Big Bad Enforcer Rudy Benz (who thought he was going to show me who is boss) backed away from me real quick, he looked scared. Apparantly Rudy never thought about the fact that even though I was only 14 years old, I was as big as him, stronger than him, and there was no fucking way I would let him put his hands on me or push me around! He also forgot that the rest of the cedu staff were out supervising work crews or teaching "classes" on the other end of the building. We were all alone.
Rudy backed away to the office door on the other end of the room, the whole time pointing his finger at me and warning me not to come any closer (to him). I stayed where I was. Rudy
unlocked the door and opened it, then he stood the doorway and then started yelling again (I figured that Rudy planned to run in the office and slam the door in my face if I rushed him).
Rudy: "GET YOUR ASS BACK DOWN TO YOUR TABLE RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL CALL THE COPS AND HAVE THEM HAUL YOUR ASS AWAY FOR ASSAULTING ME!"
SOS: "GO AHEAD AND CALL THEM, YOU STARTED IT!"
Rudy: "I DIDN'T START SHIT!"
SOS: "FUCK YOU! YOU GRABBED ME AND YOU TRIED TO MAKE ME GO WITH YOU!"
Rudy: "WHO'S GOING TO BELIEVE YOU? THE COPS KNOW THAT YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL AND THAT YOU FUCKED UP YOUR LIFE, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE!
YOUR PARENTS THINK YOUR FULL OF SHIT TOO! NO ONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE YOU OVER ME! THEY'LL HAUL YOUR ASS TO JUVIE, AND AFTER THAT I'LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU SPEND SOME TIME IN THE PSYCHE WARD IN A FUCKING STAIGHT JACKET STARING AT PADDED WALLS!"
SOS: "GO AHEAD AND SEND ME TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL, I FUCKING HATE THIS PLACE, I'D RATHER BE THERE ANYWAYS!"
At this point Rudy decided on a softer approach and stopped yelling.
Rudy: "Look, we both know that you really don't want to go to the Hospital. If you really feel that Cedu can't help you, then fine, I'll call your parents today and reccommend that we transfer you to another school. We'll get you out of here by tonight, but until then I can't have you wandering around disrupting everything. It's not fair to your peers who want to be here, and are trying to do something with their lives. Go back to your table and wait for me there, while I work out the details."
SOS: "Fine." (As stupid as I was, I actually believed that Rudy would keep his promise)
I went back to my table.
About an hour later GUY BONNANO
(discovery family head) and my
so-called "BIG BROTHER" Jeff Huber
came over and sat down.
GUY: "I hope you enjoy getting butt-fucked tonight!"
SOS: "What the Fuck are you talking about? Where's Rudy?"
GUY: "Rudy's on the phone with the sheriff
right now. He's coming over in about 20 minutes
to take Rudy's statement, then he's gonna haul your ass down to SAN BERNARDINO Juvenile Hall.
It's full of Niggers and Mexicans just waiting for a young-juicy-piece-of-ass like you to come their way. They've got group cells over there, so I hope you enjoy being butt-fucked!"
SOS: "That's Bullshit! Rudy said he was calling my parents to transfer me to another school."
GUY: "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! Do you really think you're going somewhere better than here? This is as good as it gets for you. We talked to your parents, they want nothing to do with you! The only place you're going after Juvie is lock down at Provo Canyon until you're 18! It's only gonna get a lot worse for you. You might as well split now while you still can."
SOS: "I don't believe you, I want to talk to my parents!"
GUY: "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU WANT! The sheriff will be here any minute, and after that, you're not our problem anymore! And your parents want nothing to do with you! Why don't you leave right now? We won't stop you. Or go ahead and wait for the sheriff, either way you're life is fucked! Go ahead and leave, We don't care! You're not our problem anymore!"
SOS: "FINE I WILL, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL GUY!"
I got up and ran for the road.
I hitch hiked and got a ride off of the mountain to SAN BERNARDINO. I spent the night sleeping on the floor in a public bathroon at a park that I found. The following night I slept in a cemetary. I was really scared and I didn't know what was going to happen to me. After 2 days I finally called home (in chicago).
Obviously, Cedu had already gotten to my parents.
My mom wouldn't even talk to me,
so I talked to my dad. Guy Bonnano told
my parents that I just up and split when
I was supposed to be on a work assignment.
No mention of the altercation I had with
Rudy. Guy told my dad the he was "surprised"
I split because I had been doing well,
and he was right about to take me off
restriction. I tried to explain to
my dad what really happened.
He wouldn't even let me finish.
DAD told me I was "Manipulating" him
again like I had been my entire life, and
that he was sick of it. (My dad never used
that word to decribe my behavior before....
I knew that Cedu had him). Then dear old
dad told me I was lucky that CEDU still
wanted me after all the shit I pulled
there, and that Guy had told him that If I
didn't come back soon he would have to
drop me a peer group.
Then DAD told me not to call him again
until I was back at Cedu, and he hung up
on me. I tried calling back,
but they didn't answer the phone.
Cedu snowed me. Rudy never had any intention of helping me. They set this whole thing up so I would run away, and Cedu could once again turn my parents against me. What Could I do? I was fucked. They "Manipulated" me. I called the school, told them where I was, and the escort came and took me back to hell.
Gabrielle, I hope that by now you can at least consider the possibility that RUDY is not the man he conned you into believing he was. At any rate, I'm sure that you can understand why I despise him so.
As for the other staff you mentioned,
GUY BONANNO and JILL BENZ are both fuckeheads, and I have spent a considerable amount of time detailing my experiences with them in previous
posts. I've also written lengthly descriptions about several other abusive ex-cedu staff, including Steve Laird, Patrick Stambusky, & Russ Decker. You can look them up if you're really interested.
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Gabrielle was in my peer group before I split,and we both had the same experience with Rudy. For whatever reason, he was totally cool to us. But, SOS, your story is so classicly CEDU about how the staff favored and manipulated students, parents, even eachother to keep the show running their way. They handled my splitting very similarly (without the manhandling), both times, lying to my parents about me and promising me bullshit to get their way. They also got my parents to lie to me, which they had never done before. In fact, the lying didn't start in our family until I went to CEDU.
Other staff members who "favored" me were abusive and sadistic to other kids, so I have to agree with SOS that the problem was systemic, and just because we had an alright experience with one staff member doesn't make it acceptable that the abuse occurred elsewhere. Many, many people, boys in particular, have complained of Rudy's abusiveness. Conversely, Jill was tough on the girls...
It doesn't even matter who favored who, the entire system was untherapeutic, unethical, unacademic, and socially crippling for life outside in the real world.
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Check your PM
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No doubt that Jill tormented you because Rudy was kind to you. Jealousy, plain and simple.
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Fuck Cedu. I was there when i was 14-16 and I'm 23 now so whatever year that was. Man I can't believe theres a forum like this. That school was shit, they tried to get kids to tell on eachother, the stupid workshops, I did everything I could in my 2 years to run that school into the ground, hooked up with girls, smoked, broke into staff car. you name it I did it. fuck that school I'm doing great now in life but it is in no way connected with that hell hole. the poor kids who are there now, the poor kids.............
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YES THEY ARE ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT WWASP MOVED INTO SOUTH AMERICA TO ALLOW EVEN GREATER ABUSES (AND FAILEED)
OUR DIRECTOR AT BCA WHEN IWAS THERE AS FORMER WWASP AND HE WAS TYRANNY
YES GINGER
WHY CAN'T ANYONE SIMPLY ANSWER A QUESTION?
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Not sure if anyone is still wondering where Rudy is at. He's working at Rubin Educational Resources in Santa Fe, N.M.
http://www.rubinedu.com (http://www.rubinedu.com)
MEET THE RUBIN EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES TEAM
Rudy Bentz, Ed.D.
Director of School and Program Development,
Transition Coach
? Over twenty-four years experience in experiential and therapeutic education
? B.A. in Literature
? M.A. in Fine Arts in Creative Writing
? Ed. D. in Educational Leadership
? Developed performing arts program
? Headmaster at two therapeutic boarding schools
?Designed therapeutic programs and in-service trainings
? Developed and facilitated parenting workshops and in-service trainings
? Taught literature, rhetoric, and comparative religion classes
Consultant for individuals, public and private schools, therapeutic boarding schools, and educational and business organizations
? Facilitated board retreats and mediated administrative/staff disputes for businesses, nonprofits, and schools
Funny doesn't mention anything about being an authority on liver.
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Rubin's website provides an email link. I would suggest that you send along some facts about your dealings with RB to let them know just exactly who they are employing...
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Do you remember shannon collins? she had a twin sister at rma? were you there when she was? just wondering??
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I remember Shannon Collins, she was a few peer groups above me, what about her?
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I knew Shannon Collins! why did she get kicked out of cedu right b/f graduation?
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Maybe I was one of the "favored", it's possible. I actually saw Rudy go head to head with Jill since she liked to use me as her own "emotional punching bag" in raps, on the floor, wherever she could.
Yeah, I'd say you were one of his favorites. He liked smaller girls, with nice assetts. Christ there were some good looking girls there.
Strange that 40 year old men felt so liberated as to curl up on the floor with all of them. Strange place.
That was one of the particular dynamics of the place - that subverted sexuality. No sex, but so much contact. So much intimacy, but all based around shame and debasement (telling the horrors of your life over and over).
Strange, and I think debilitating.
I'd be interested to hear the various points of view on the subject.
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Was it okay for Rudy to explicitly describe the things he described to young kids?
Rudy was a pedophilic wierdo and I would never ever want him anywhere around my kids.
I'd go with that.
Hey, I killed a man when I was drunk. Want to watch me slap my dog on the head while I call if a fucking moron? How about I stare at you out of my skeleton face for awhile and repeat lines from Desiderata in slow motion, while the acid and alcohol poisoning/jones wears on and off?
How about I put you in a corner and scream at you, promising you that you'll end up a dead junkie prison bitch whore, and then have you dig a hole for 18 hours?
Awesome! Thanks dude! Hero to millions.
Throw 'im in the shark tank.
Fucking crackpot child abuser.
In my experience, and opinion, that is.
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LS,
Your opinion of Rudy Bentz is right on the money. He's a murderer, pedophile, sociopath, and an absolute monster. He deserves to
be shot in thefucking head, if for no other reason than the fact that he recklessly took another mans life and never paid for his crime. Of course we all know that this is just the start of a lifetime of crimes Rudy has committed against his fellow man.
I do believe in God, and I firmly believe that one day Rudy
Bentz will answer for the evils he has done, if not in this world, then
certainly in the next.
Burn in Hell Rudy, you sick fucking freak!
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I know we all walked away with resentment, pain and a constant fear or getting our asses handed to us on a daily basis.
I know Rudy was no saint and I feel, really I do for people he "had it out for".
I just think there were other staff members who made Rudy look tame.
Again, just my opinion.
But after all i said and done and now that so many years have gone by I just had to let it go. It was what it was. I am still very close to some of my old CEDU friends Shannon K for example and we talk about it sometimes but it had now faded into the ancient history I always wished it could be.
The school and those who preached it's message are sick, money hungry parasites. They fed off of kids who needed some real help and charged the parents insane amounts of money for beating the kids into submission.
I look back now and see there were things that I went through that were good, not just good but some of them life altering but it came from my peers and not the staff it came from the comraderie that is created when one feels hopeless and desperate. We banded together and created these bonds as one would do in a concentration camp...because we were so fucking terrified we needed each other.
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I know we all walked away with resentment, pain and a constant fear or getting our asses handed to us on a daily basis.
I know Rudy was no saint and I feel, really I do for people he "had it out for".
I just think there were other staff members who made Rudy look tame.
Again, just my opinion.
But after all i said and done and now that so many years have gone by I just had to let it go. It was what it was. I am still very close to some of my old CEDU friends Shannon K for example and we talk about it sometimes but it had now faded into the ancient history I always wished it could be.
The school and those who preached it's message are sick, money hungry parasites. They fed off of kids who needed some real help and charged the parents insane amounts of money for beating the kids into submission.
I look back now and see there were things that I went through that were good, not just good but some of them life altering but it came from my peers and not the staff it came from the comraderie that is created when one feels hopeless and desperate. We banded together and created these bonds as one would do in a concentration camp...because we were so fucking terrified we needed each other.
Well said.
I just think there were other staff members who made Rudy look tame.
Yeah, did you ever meet Caroline or Sharon Kreider? (Rea's wife.) Holy crapolie. In a lot of ways, I think Sharon was worse, because she could be so nice and seemingly gentle, and then tear off her face and say the most brutal, cut-to-the-quick things to you in a rap. Caroline was like getting hit with a 2X4. Sharon was like getting cut open with a razor.
Needless to say, I was absolutely crazy about her. I'd like to blame it on stockholm syndrome, but I think it also has to do with the fact that I am a dirty bastard.
comraderie that is created when one feels hopeless and desperate.
Cool. I wasn't so lucky in that regard. Didn't have too many friends at RMA, and those that I had, I didn't trust... ever, cause they could rat on you in a minute or humiliate you in a rap, and you'd do the same to them. That place fostered the most fucked up concepts of friendship, ever.
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crazy about sharon kreider?
in a platonic mentor sense? or a crush? or both?
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crazy about sharon kreider?
in a platonic mentor sense? or a crush? or both?
I would say both, but I never would have admitted it to myself at the time.
She *did*, after all, take my pants away... and call me a junkie. For me, that's fuckin foreplay. hehe.
Obviously, the reverence and lust are no longer present.
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I know we all walked away with resentment, pain and a constant fear or getting our asses handed to us on a daily basis.
I know Rudy was no saint and I feel, really I do for people he "had it out for".
I just think there were other staff members who made Rudy look tame.
Again, just my opinion.
Gabrielle, good to see you back posting after so long. I remember you right before you graduated.
I think that Rudy had some respect for you which he tended to give out grudgingly and selfishly to a few individuals.
I think that during your time there, there were other terrors like Lori Saunders that overshadowed Rudy in outrageousness (sp?)
They needed to leave in order for Rudy to fill that power vacuum. That's when he really turned on and revved up the freak machine.
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Basically, the therapeutic, growth and academic aspects of the program were a complete and utter sham. And it was an arena where bullies, histrionics, and mind fuckery thrived. All staff facilitated this... they simply varied by extreme. Rudy was actually, quite nice to me... I'd like to say he knew I wasn't full of bullshit (Pam Abell also seemed to understand this), but maybe they were good cops because I wasn't in their family. What I recognize about Rudy and Pam was they fully drank and dispensed the Kool Aid, and seemed quite capable of exploiting their powers as CEDU mini gurus as they saw fit--Mel being the lionized but absent idol. (I did feel there were Cult of Personality aspects of this program.)
Of course, it is the staff we, as individuals, felt most exploited by that we detest most in memory. We couldn't help but cling to the staff who gave us understanding regardless of their status at CEDU. Rudy and Pam always treated me favorable, whether I was on table time or not, and seemed to understand I wasn't full of crap. Even after I split the first time, Pam made it clear there wouldn't be a lynching before we went to rap. (And I know she is capable!) Rudy, too, seemed to sense this. I also never felt he was inappropriate to me. Sometimes, I think Rudy actually had a good bullshit detector, unlike some of the other staff. But at the same time, I know he terrorized others... and I was just grateful to escape his wrath.
For me, it was Laurie Saunders. While I hated the program systemically, because the whole fucking thing is rooted in Emotional Regression rather than Growth, I especially hated staff who came up with their own hackneyed ideas of you not rooted in reality, and forced you to adopt that personal schema. In her raps and propheets, I was continually called to the carpet for things that NEVER happened. Also, she couldn't tell the fucking difference between someone who was deaf and someone who didn't listen! I had to sit there and listen to her ream me for a back story that my parents never gave her (because it never happened) and not be able to defend myself. Also, Jim Johnson lied to me repeatedly, lied to my parents, and also contrived his own idea of my back story--all bullshit-- mainly because he was projecting his own crap onto me. (Still I don't hate him as much as I have no respect for him.) That is what I hated most--the staff there were all working out their own pathos on us, and couldn't even tell the freaking difference between their own bullshit and ours.' No wonder many of us came out of CEDU even more confused and muddled than when we came in.
Gabby--I was there with you, but split. I always wondered about people in our peer group 'cause I wasn't allowed to contact you guys after I left. Do you ever see any of them?
Also, I'm interested in your perspective on staff. Whatever happened to Pam and Laurie?
There is still a HUGE part of me that would love to run into various staff members as an adult and "share some thoughts" now that they have no power over me. It would feel like closure, and bring an enormous sense of empowerment.
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Rugby Punk
What did you think of the RWC? I was rooting for S. Africa. Did you see that hit on Chabal in the last 20 minutes of the Bronze cup?
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We couldn't help but cling to the staff who gave us understanding regardless of their status at CEDU.
Not me, man. I gravitated towards two of the more heavyweight people there... Stacy and Sharon. You wouldn't believe some of the fucked up shit they said to me, yet I was all stockholm-syndrome on them.
Masochists are born, not made.
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what fucked up shit did they say to you?
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what fucked up shit did they say to you?
Well, the fucked up shit they said to me was the same level of fucked upness as the shit they said to everyone else, and in that respect, the fucked up shit they said to me is without note, really.
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did you stay in touch with them after graduation? if yes, for how long?
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did you stay in touch with them after graduation? if yes, for how long?
I think maybe I spoke with Stacy a few times. I don't recall doing that with Sharon. I honestly can't remember the status of our relationship by the time I graduated. I think after I left New Horizons and she wasn't in my fucking face all the time I detached a little bit. But I honestly don't remember if that was the case or not.
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Rugby Punk
What did you think of the RWC? I was rooting for S. Africa. Did you see that hit on Chabal in the last 20 minutes of the Bronze cup?
I gotta say Dish Duty, I'm broke so I no gotta da cable. But I followed the RWC every day on the website. Read all the articles. Watched what I could find on YouTube. I wore my springboks jersey every few days to work. YES, that's right. I was a Bokkies fan from the beginning, way beyond the All Blacks. I had a perma-grin on my face the day after England got creamed by RSA 36-0 in the group trials. I pretty much knew where it was going from there, especially after NZ and France got knocked out and it was round two for the limeys and Bokkies. How Argentina got that far I'll never know. Good backfield?
I didn't get to see the Chabal hit, but I heard about the one he put on Shaw during the England match. That guy is a brute steamroller. I would hate to be on the wrong side of him. Also, Ibanez the captain stomped hard on one of the Argentines? The French have to be the roughest team out there, definitely an intimidation factor.
Did you see all the matches?
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I hear you on the $$$$$. Setanta premium was charging $25 a pop for the good games.
I found a local pub in my hood that had setanta basic and saw a few games for free.
Then for the last 10 days of the tournament I ordered Direct TV with setanta basic. On the 10th day I cancelled my account. So all said and done it cost me $50 for the last 10 days - but setanta basic had all games on a 24 hour delay.
I was rooting for S.Africa too. Chabal is a neandrathal but as I said he got leveled by the Argentinian 8 man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keRDlDkYgGU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keRDlDkYgGU)
In general I'm not fond of the french. They have a language preservation government department and they fine magazines that print non-french words. Fine as paying your taxes late Fine.
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I hear you on the $$$$$. Setanta premium was charging $25 a pop for the good games.
I found a local pub in my hood that had setanta basic and saw a few games for free.
Then for the last 10 days of the tournament I ordered Direct TV with setanta basic. On the 10th day I cancelled my account. So all said and done it cost me $50 for the last 10 days - but setanta basic had all games on a 24 hour delay.
I was rooting for S.Africa too. Chabal is a neandrathal but as I said he got leveled by the Argentinian 8 man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keRDlDkYgGU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keRDlDkYgGU)
In general I'm not fond of the french. They have a language preservation government department and they fine magazines that print non-french words. Fine as paying your taxes late Fine.
Wow! that's steep. Actually, the best deal I found was on the RWC site, a company was showing all 48 matches, whenever and as many times as you wanted to watch them, for $50 whole package. (Aaah, its great having kids. I still couldn't justify the expense.) Pubs around here like Ginger's Ale House charge like 20-25 a pop for ONE match! Wherever it is you went to watch it for free - you got a deal.
My question is:
Why didn't the French ever fight as hard for their country as they do on a rugby pitch? Fuck the frogs
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i remember rudy, i hated him and jill worst of all. i just wanted to avoid them at all times.
rudy knew i was smarter than him and he left me alone because i kept my head down and did what i was told.
i was smarter than rudy was, but i find after 15 years that my being smart made it worse for me, cause i really beleived a lot of that shit they told me about myself and about people.
its been hard trying to learn to love myself. my impulse towards rudy is murderous and i am like the nicest person you're ever going to meet. i had no idea he was physically abusive but i beleive it. i knew he got off on reading my phone sex to everyone in my first rap. i knew he wanted to fuck me and that it made him crazy. i stayed the fuck away from him.
and jill, jill was a crazy as bitch, dude, she was a witch, she had a mean spirit and a cruel heart, and it lived ever in the mirror. talk about narcissism!!
No one could ever tell them they had low self esteem, boy....
i went to cedu in 1990 and 91, do you guys remember me? my name is alia weiner. i was a "slut"
and then i was celibate for 6 years, and then i married a man twice my age who had sexual disfunction for 4 years and now i am trying to learn to be intimate. fucking fuckers. fucking god damn motherfucking fuckers.
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Alia-
I remember you- you were in the peer group above mine. Good to see familiar faces around here again.
-V
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cool, what is your name? if you dont want to post on a public forum u can send me a myspace if u want, http://www.myspace.com/alia23alia23 (http://www.myspace.com/alia23alia23)
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Alia
i knew he got off on reading my phone sex to everyone in my first rap.
What do you mean by that stament. A staff member at RS brought out the big guns in your 1st rap? Humiliated you in your 1st rap?
Holy shit!!
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it was cedu. it was rudy. he read a transcript of the phone sex i had that my parents recorded from a private investigator. so crazy.
yeah it was humiliating, but not as bad as being turned into a mean monster who did nothing but hurt everyone i came into contact with, which is what i felt they made me into.
or what i felt i had to be to be accepted.... i am so glad to be out of there and never want to go thru anything like that again, or let anyone else have to.
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He read it in your 1st rap?
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i think so, maybe my second. why?
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At Rma. 1989; that didn't happen until at least your 5th rap or so. Hell I can't recall something like reading disclosure evidence from a students past ever being done at rma
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and then i was celibate for 6 years, ...and now i am trying to learn to be intimate. fucking fuckers. fucking god damn motherfucking fuckers.
Yeah, I'm in a similar situation. I'm on the same mating cycle as the 7 year cicada. I go from being totally dormant for years to practically sex-addict lust for a few months on some random summer. But now I actually want a girlfriend, as opposed to meaningless twenty-minute stands with the boys, and it is frustrating, because I really have never done any sort of courting or dating. It was always just "Hey, you're hot, let's fuck.". I feel like I'm behind the rest of the class still in some areas. I keep hoping that I will catch up eventually, but I dunno. All I know is that I've got some serious nesting urges, which freaks me the fuck out.
And of course, the times I was in relationships, I chose people who really didn't get me hot. They felt "safe" to me, which was why I hooked up with them. Then I wondered why we had bed death three months into the relationship.
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:) recently my mind has changed about a lot of things. here's the thing about 'safe lovers' that i have found in regards to sex.
those safe people are not a bad choice for a partner. the truth is, most lust based relationships fade. the passion in a relationship comes from intimacy. intimacy comes from being in the safe place with a safe person and not being terrified by how vulnerable it feels to be truly intimate.
i know for me when i am intimate with devin, it scares me. when he is trusting me, looking at me with love and vulnerability, i am overcome with shame and guilt, fear that i will hurt him with the cruel beast they made me beleive i am.
the thing for me though is that i have been hiding these things inside me for so long, lying to myself. so the way i see it, i had to try to get close enough to him, to see how i was lying to myself, because i had to see it because in order to maintain it i had to lie to him, so it put me up against myself in a way that only trying to maintain closeness with another person has done for me.
so the real challenge is becoming more intimate with myself. giving up the abuse i put myself through and learning to treat myself with kindness and welcome my own needs with love instead of hatred and cruelty as i was trained first by my parents to neglect myself and next by cedu to abuse myself.
so it is hard, but i know you will find the intimacy you seek. what they never can change is that love and human bonding will always be stronger than fear and terrorism. but i also always tell myself all the time that it is ok for me to not be able to do everything today. maybe not till next week. maybe not till next life. it doesnt matter. i will treat myself with patience and kindness and care and however i am is ok without judgement or cruelty. these things are new to me and they are helping me.