Fornits
General Interest => Tacitus' Realm => Topic started by: Anonymous on October 05, 2004, 01:42:00 PM
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GNAA BEGINS SALE OF DECAPITATION INSURANCE
Zeikfried - Reuters, Saudi Arabia
The brutal slayings of Paul Johnson, the young Jew Nick Berg, and local
Starcraft champion Kim Sun-il, only serve to exemplify that while so-called
moderates preach Islam as a religion of peace, normal god-fearing citizens are
not blind to the brutal truth, Islam wants to lop off your shit liberally.
"But these poor bastards were working abroad!" you cry, your several
chins flailing wildly as a mixture of spittle and congealed fat sprays from
your blackened lips like a gaijin Tubgirl. But you couldn't be more wrong, Gay
Nigger studies indicate the muslims are, in fact, stealing your land, woman,
and anal virginity before your very eyes. The situation is indeed dire, as
indicated by a recent #GNAA straw poll showing that your average Joe Negro is a
mere 58 metres away from a filthy sand nigger, ready willing and able to
decapitate you and encode your fate into a shitty .wmv
How may we counter this? How can we protect our terrified brothers, sisters,
and lovers from this reprehensible neck decimating towelhead menace? The answer
is simple you wretched cretins, as of the 19th of June, award winning self-help
group the Gay Nigger Association of America begins the sale of Decapitation
Insurance to all American, Korean, and British citizens and expatriates not
willing to contribute to Mel Sembler's latest marathon masturbation session.
But rather than provide this service to the select few, the GNAA understands
that your menial jobs are now being performed for one tenth of the cost by an
equally skilled Mexican, so we have provided a range of contracts scaled to suit
your needs.
- For just $50 per month: Captured by Islamists? About to utterly fail it at life? Worry no more, for with our GNAA patented tracking device (inserted anally - replaced once a fortnight) you can call for assistance with a stealthy squeeze of the buttocks. In the unlikely event that this takes longer than anticipated our probe is programmed to gently stimulate your prostate to prevent unnecessary panic.
- For just $75 per month: Sadly our response teams are often distracted by widespread sodomy and the dulcet tones of Emerson Lake and Palmer, and as a result may not be able to save you from the junktouch of death. But fear not, for an extra 25 dollars a month we will throw in a made-to-measure GNAA sponsored cast-iron neckbrace, proven to stop a round from a Kalashnikov at 20 paces. Also, feel free to laugh majestically as their cries of "ALLAHU AKBAR!" are drowned out by the in-built speaker system, designed to pump out 140 decibels of "I am a Viking" by renowned dick-huffing Swedish guitar rapist Yngwie J Malmsteen.
- For Just $100 per month: Round-the-clock protection for you and your friends and family can be yours. Your potential executioners will quake in fear of our GNAA dogs of war as they shield your prone jugular with their very lives and dongs. The service is second to none, and each contract is hand signed by GNAA president Timecop himself. The first 500 will also recieve a free jar of holy nigger seed, eagerly provided by GNAA GAMES chairman Zeikfried Tuvai.
But don't just take our word for it, GNAA sponsored clairvoyant Madame Jank
DuTouche has contacted Ronald Reagan's head from beyond the ethereal veil of
death to bring you this recommendation:
"The moons axis over Jupiter brings it into allignment with the
constellation Orion and the Planet Anus. After inhaling several ounces of
crack, I followed this up with my tarot reading of 'The Jester', 'Death',
'Captain B Dick', '4 swords' and a 'double headed anal dildo'.
This told me but one thing, Ronald Reagan endorses the Gay Nigger Association of
Americas drive for a gay and Decapitation free universe."
Not to be outdone, Kim Sun-il's head released the following statement:
"kekeke"
So what the fuck are you imbeciles waiting for, sign up with GNAA Insurance
today, or be Miller Newton'd into an unpatriotic due grave!
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which
gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you NIGGER (http://www.mugshots.org/sports/oj-simpson.jpg)?
Are you a GAY NIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0274518) and watch it. (You can download the digitally remastered movie (~130mb) using BitTorrent, by clicking slashdot.org (http://slashdot.org), a popular "news for trolls" website
- Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today!
If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is Niggernet, and you can connect to irc.gnaa.us as our official server.
If you have mod points and would like to support GNAA, please moderate this post up.
.________________________________________________. fucking
| ______________________________________._a,____ | MelSembler
| _______a_._______a_______aj#0s_____aWY!400.___ | will
| __ad#7!!*P____a.d#0a____#!-_#0i___.#!__W#0#___ | he ever learn that
| _j#'_.00#,___4#dP_"#,__j#,__0#Wi___*00P!_"#L,_ | GNAA is totally
| _"#ga#9!01___"#01__40,_"4Lj#!_4#g_________"01_ | unstoppable? Teamed
| ________"#,___*@`__-N#____`___-!^_____________ | up with the other troll groups,
| _________#1__________?________________________ | GNAA will absolutely own
| _________j1___________________________________ | the shitty place that is the DFAF.
| ____a,___jk_GAY_NIGGER_ASSOCIATION_OF_AMERICA_ | Just remember, the longer the lines are,
| ____!4yaa#l___________________________________ | the smaller MelSembler's penis.
| ______-"!^____________________________________ | This logo is (C) 2003, 2004 GNAA
` _______________________________________________'