Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones => Topic started by: Nightstalker on September 26, 2004, 02:17:00 PM
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In alaska, scarcity was a joke. We all shared food, made sure we were all nourished with substance. I dare say eight pizza sticks! Eight pizza sticks were taken from the chow line. What is happening here? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY SCHOOL? I will not stand for this injustice, I wll not accept that someone would so selfishly take so many sticks. I hope your happy, whoever the culprit is-for being so pain stakingly out of agreement. Well I for one will not tolerate it.
-Former cedu student
Thats a quote from a student during my stay at BCA. I know how picky you guys get with having names mentioned, but I'd like to hear other funny quotes from staff or students.
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Staff: "Do you know why you get out of agreement?"
Student: "Because I don't like the rules"
Staff: "NO!" "IT'S BECAUSE YOUR A GODDAMN CHICKEN SHIT!"
I heard this line in many a raps, verbatim on the "goddamn chicken shit" part. I know some of you guys who were at BCA when I were remember this one very cleary (hell we all used to imitate it and laugh for hours).
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Staff: "Do you know why you get out of agreement?"
Student: "Uh, because I never 'agreed' to follow your rules. And you're a lying manipulator when you suggest that I did. Get honest, call a rule a rule."
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How about this from when I was new:
Staff: Get out of your head!
Me: I don't understand.
Staff: That's because you're too intellectual. YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT. GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING STUPID HEAD.
Me: Ok. Now I'm getting upset.
Staff: What's that feel like?
Me: It feels like you are going out of your way to scream at me for no reason but to make me upset and furthermore the only way...
Staff: (a cacophany now) FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE RAP, I DARE YOU, YOU CHICKENSHIT PIECE OF SHIT. DON'T TALK BACK FUCK YOU, HATE YOU LITTLE SMART PAIN IN THE ASS NO WONDER YOUR PARENTS LEFT YOU HERE. YOU THINK YOU SO SMART I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO LEAVE, YOU SIT AROUND HERE TRYING TO FOLLOW ALL THE AGREEMENTS, I LOOK AT YOU AND I SEE QUITTER, JUNKIE, NIGHTMARE...
me: WHAT LANGUAGE IS THIS? WHO ARE YOU FUCKING POEPLE, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
now of course, I had responded with emotion after the screaming. this opened me up to a rather lengthy attack in which I quietly asked for permission to leave the rap and was rebuked with the standing of counselors, I didn't know what was going to happen and I finally bolted. That was fun.
But this happened everytime there was a new boy or girl who had a little flare of resistance. Maybe these were kids who were already versed in the fucking CONSTITUTION.
Man I wish I had a recording of ONE rap. Just One fucking rap. Man that would kick up some shit. BTW, I'm not laughing right now.
-blownaway
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Wow, they said "Get out of your head"? I thought that was a Seed thing. Now I wonder if it goes all the way back to Synanon.
The legislature is to society as a physician is to the patient. If a physician ignored side effects of medications like today's legislators ignore the side effects of their legislation, the physician would be accused of malpractice. I accuse today's legislators (with rare exception) of legislative malpractice. Many of the ills that are so obvious in our society are a direct result of previous legislation. Their solution? More laws!
-- John A. Bennett, DO
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I rememeber hearing staff say that to kids. I remember asking, "Why are you saying that? I thought we all lived in our heads...? Isn't 'being intellectual' an important part of being human?" Russ and Brandi hated that. I would have said, "an integral part..." but I figured that would be too big a word for them.
I swear, it felt like a cult. I was glad I could leave, but sorry the kids had to stay.
On 2004-09-27 08:39:00, Antigen wrote:
"Wow, they said "Get out of your head"? I thought that was a Seed thing. Now I wonder if it goes all the way back to Synanon.
"
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Oh yeah, "get out of your head" was a big one at CEDU. If I had a dime for every time I heard that... Supposedly, you were supposed to get in touch with your feelings, but those ended up being manufactured anyway because of all the badgering...
That was what CEDU was all about anyway... losing your cognitive abilities and stop thinking for yourself... even your feelings were dictated.
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I remember that one. Do you remember "Fuck you for that!" Paula Rudy used to say that one all the time. I know they always used to as us "how does that make you feel" in our forums too! I told some of my friends about the lingo used and they couldnt believe it. Like "bans", where you couldnt talk to people. They just didnt understand hoe this could be enforced.. but I know all of you understand! And if you didn't follow them , then you were "out of agreement". God I wish I could remember some other stupid lingos used!
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"PROJECTING!!"--This was funny as staff often clearly projected their own issues of their own eating disorders/drug abuse/sexual issues onto us.
"Running your thinking"
"Running your feelings"
"What are you doing to your little girl/boy every day?" I just wanted to say, I'm not a little girl--I'm 16 for God's sakes and I can't re-do my childhood, so talk straight." (The irony is when they say this after the verbally abusive raps.)
Wish I remembered more propheet lingo but I only went thru Truth...
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Heres a couple for you:
"We stay in agreement to save are lives."
"When you tell people they are Out of Agreement, you are saving their lives."
"If you don't tell people when they are Out of Agreement, you are helping them die."
"If you help other people to die, then you are out of agreement, and you are killing yourself."
Guy Bonnano wrote all of this on a chalk board and made everyone in my discovery peer group do a writing assignment on why this is true, and then each one of us had to read what we wrote for the group. I had only been at cedu for a month, I remember thinking that :This was the dumbest shit I've ever Heard!
I wrote that: "Cedu Sucks, Cedu's agreements are stupid, and we shouldn't have to follow them anyways. Ratting on someone will not save their lives, all it will do is get them in trouble, and that there is nothing lower in this world than being a fucking Rat!"
When I read My paper aloud, everyone in my peer group froze. I mean dead silence. Guy Bonnano's
face turned bright red, and then sorta purple, he was so pissed off that he couldn't talk, Guy stormed out of the room. Nobody said anything. Steve Laird came back into the room like 2 minutes later and told me to go with him. Steve put me on a table immediately, and told me I was on bans from challenge on down, and that I was not to move from the table, or leave the dining room until my dorm head comes to escort me for lunch and then to raps.
I was put in a rap with Guy Bonnano
Steve Laird, Russ Decker, and about half of my peer group, + older students. They "Ripped Me a New Asshole!" (anyone remember that phrase?).
Guy Bonnano: "The Reason Why You CHOOSE to be Out Of Agreement is because YOU FEEL SO GODDAMN SMALL ABOUT YOURSELF!!!!"
SOS: "FUCK YOU!"
Steve Laird: "Why do you act like an asshole, Do you like being an ASSHOLE?"
SOS: "Yes. FUCK YOU!"
GUY BONNANO: "The reason you like being an Asshole, is because YOU ARE A COWARD AND YOU KNOW THAT NO ONE WILL HIT YOU HERE! YOU'RE A
BIG PUSSY!!!"
SOS: "Yeah, Whatever, GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
STEVE LAIRD:
"You FEEL SO SMALL INSIDE, Your just too SCARED and DISHONEST To Admit The Truth, So You act Like Some MACHO TOUGH GUY, when the truth is that YOUR DICK IS PROBABLY ONLY THIS BIG!!!"(pinches thumb and index finger together)
SOS: "GO FUCK SIERRA, Steve!" (sierra was steve's ugly, mangy-ass, dog)
OLDER STUDENT:
"THIS IS MY SCHOOL, MY HOME! YOU WILL STAY IN AGREEMENT! I'M DRAWING THE LINE! YOU WILL RESPECT MY HOME!"
SOS: (both middle fingers raised in the air)
"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR SCHOOL AND FUCK YOUR HOME!
I'LL PISS ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING HOME! LICK MY BALLS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!!"
Whole Rap: "AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!" (The screams were so loud and coming from everywhere that poor SOS never got another word out.) Even my thoughts were drowned in screams.
True story.
I spent 10 days on a table, and almost a month on INDEFINATE work assignments and dishes because of that rap. It was
well worth it, though. I just loved seeing how bad I could piss those fuckers off!
.[ This Message was edited by: SON OF SERBIA on 2004-09-27 14:36 ]
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Anyone here who can relate to my story?
.[ This Message was edited by: SON OF SERBIA on 2004-09-27 13:11 ]
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Die laughing.
That scenario totally brought back memories
of the oxymoronic arbitrarily developed enforced "agreements".... I can totally picture the rap complete with blowhard staff, petty mudslinging, defense of the illogical, and ass kissing older students. And then the deluge.
I can remember my family heads giving similar speeches to Guy's and thinking first, this isn't an agreement, it's a rule, and second, it blows. But I did not have the courage to say what I thought because my entire purpose at CEDU was dedicated to ducking under the radar on raps. Congrats on your guts (or masochism) for being so openly defiant.
You were there awhile. How did you get "promoted" with this defiance? It must have been exhausting defending yourself,logic, and common sense on a continual basis. Did you ever decide it was time to play the game until you made your escape?
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Shanlea; Yes, I did "Play the Game" eventually.
I was openly defiant during my entire period in discovery, and Quest. I learned to "play the game" periodically, but that never lasted for more than a few weeks, before I was in trouble again. I split 4 times during this period, and I always fought with stafs, older students, and my peer group. I blatantly broke the rules and I didn't care who knew about it. During my 1st year, I did 4 tables, 2 full times, several couch restrictions & pit restrictions, room restrictions, you name it. The only thing cedu didn't do was send me on a 21 day. I must have spent at least 3/4 of my 1st year at cedu on work assignments,dishes, and restrictions.
Once, I was promoted to challenge I got better at playing the game, and I was able to pass myself off as a model older student.
A lot of older students were splitting around the time that I moved up to challenge, and staff made me a dorm head right away, basically because no one else was available. I played the model older student game long enough until I earned my first home visit (which I split on). After the cops caught me, i was sent back to Cedu and did a 3rd and final full time.
After my last full time, I got back into routine "Playing the Game", and staff gave me my dorm back. Once i had the staff's confidence again, I began planning my next and final escape from cedu. I planned for 3 months before I split. The whole time I pretended that I liked cedu, and wanted to graduate. I was promoted to New Horizons. I waited until 1 week after bryan felscher graduated (he was my best friend at cedu), and then I split for the 6th and final time, it was on the day I was supposed to do my Values Profeet. Well, I value my freedom, so to me it seemed like the perfect day to skip the 24 hour brainwashing and get the fuck out of Cedu for good!
.[ This Message was edited by: SON OF SERBIA on 2004-09-27 14:29 ]
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SOS, after splitting 5 times you must have been their biggest challnege. They probably got their nuts off thinking they finally "saved" you from your deliciously defiant self only to find out--WRONG AGAIN! Seriously, I'm surprised your folks didn't pull you in a frustrating realization that CEDU was ineffectual.
Also, the idea of you as a dorm head. Were you CEDU-kosher or underground?
Last, when you "played the game" (this is to anybody) did you believe it when you were doing it or did you know full well you were doing what you had to do?
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when i was there during the michael allgood mindfuck era a kid who left and they thought they could not con into returning was labeled to have been playing along and not wanting to do the program. this is the lie that was fed to the other kids. allgood would say or do anything to get his way. staff like rudy benz can tell you about the lies and brainwashing that they would do to keep a kid there or keep him from leaving. allgood believes that the ends justified the means and that psycopath mel wasserman who screwed everyone and believed his own lies just like oj simpson saying the bruno magli shoes photo are faked. danielle used to say that oj would kill nicole and she ended up with cancer said rudy.
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Everyone knows bans were one of the most retarded and annoying things at cedu. But I do remember a certain advantage, was that you could say the classic...
BANS MOTHER FUCKER!
To anyone that really got on your nerves.
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Now that was some funny shit! I went to Cascade and it's so similar to Cedu. Well, the same people that came from Cedu made Cascade. It's so refreshing to hear all of these lingo's. It's funny that for so long I tried to forget about it and now I'm trying to remember it!
On another note, Son of Serbia, I truely wish I could of been more like you. I was way too scared to do all the things you did. You were very brave. I was one of those that tried to follow the system, stay under the radar. I played the role of the typical "good kid". Unfortunately, by playing this role I screwed over so many. To all those out there that I screwed over, I am truely sorry!
Oh another one is "pop offs" for songs that were "in your image".
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Pop offs! I forgot about that one.
OK. What was the dumbest ban ever? I know one person said they were banned from the sun and I know attractive girls were often banned from all the boys (as though it was her fault they thought she was hot.) What else?
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I know in my heart that when I finally (Didn't) decided to play along and that I wasn't getting pulled ever, that it didn't really get easier. I (didn't) let the program in fully. I had no defenses left after the IWTL and because I had become part of the upper school and had been torn so many new assholes I was like some vulgar Greek sphinctor god. I could really take no more and I (didn't) didn't know that I was playing the game, I was getting a full brainslushing CEDU labotomy. You should see my epitaph. I was looking through my writing assignments and my I/me and Summit notebooks. Holy shit, talk about brainwashed.
Originally I was responding to SOS's comments. I think the big difference is age. I knew in my heart of hearts at the beginning (over a year) that something was afoul in Bonners. I tried everything but running away physically after my 21 nee 28 day. I fantasized constantly about being pulled or my friends breaking me out but the longer I was there after survival the more I realized that my folks were dead serious. AND (you guys are really gonna like this) after I returned from survival with the two goons hired to make sure I didn't run away immediately, my mother wrote a book and sent it to me at RMA (I guess witht the big thumbs up from the school) about a boy my age who smokes ganja and talks back to teachers in the public school and is a general pain in the ass about the home. He is sent to a place like a behavioural modification program called "Big Boulder" where he runs away. He gets hit by a truck and dies! He speaks from death about how terrible he feels to have caused his mother this anguish and she winds up being a wasted life along with her broken husband. The End. And that had given me another reason not to run away again.
I did hate it as much as anyone but the program really wore me down and made me feel that there was no person in my life except the older students, the Program, and the staff that was now my "mother and father". For all practicle purposes this was the bond that the school hoped to maintain with it's students. And we know what kind of parents they made. Thank god a lot of them got fixed for their bizarre cult tied to the program! Can't wait to hear more about that.
-blownaway
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I think I was banned from the library and the fitness center. But man did I need to study and I was seriously getting fat too! I think I was banned from talking about Hawaii (because they said it was "in my image" - but it wasn't - i was a so called gangsta"). Those were some of my dumb bans!
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At different times I was verboten to:
read
play guitar
sing
play any sports
talk
talk of drugs, music, girls, home, or friends or ANYTHING not involving program
talk to girls
talk to parents/family
sit
split
eat
sleep
drink
use restroom
dress in clean clothes
stop physical labor
stop running
stop many kinds of biomechanical excercises that often caused injury.
and a whole bunch of other shit.The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
--William Osler
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Serb, I remember that shit with you in the raps! I'm laughing my ass off! You were such a pain in the ass up there!! I always respected the hell out of you, because unlike me, and my buddies you never sold out. I mean, I would rip the shit out of someone and then go up to my dorm and have a smoke. I always felt like a hypocrite, but it was about survival. I played their game, and I regret it.
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i can relate, sos... i did quite a bit of that kinda shit.
i remember when i told my team leader, martin weins, to go fuck himself when he came to "support" me on my newly assigned resistriction.
about a month later, after my restriction was over, he, for some reason (even though i think i refused to talk to him in a 'civil' manner so frequently that he just stopped sitting at my table,) had felt that there was a change in the dynamic of our relationship, and so, one day, in a rap, he was like "remember when you told me to go fuck myself?" in a 'look at how far we've come' sort of way... to which, i nodded my head and smirked.
"yep, still applies."
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laura solomon[ This Message was edited by: mikehunt on 2004-09-28 11:21 ]
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People on fulltimes are Banned from "SMILING or Laughing."
I was on bans from "Cutting My Side Burns." (because I always shaved them off)
Several guys at cedu (when I was there) were on bans from "Masterbating!"
I remember when staff put Bryan Felscher on bans
from saying the word "Man" !
I was also on bans from "Reading" ! :???:
-how could any institution that forbids students from reading call itself a "school"???
Several kids were on bans from the "Fruit Bowl"!
(the kitchen ladies put out a fruit bowl in the dining room for us to snack on, in case we got hungry between meals)
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I remember when you got put on bans from cutting your sideburns. That was hilarious. You used to shave them up so high it was practically a mohawk!! Just kidding.
Yeah, well look at the books I chose to read : Animal Farm, 1984, Brave New World, Heart of a Dog, Atlas Shrugged.
Of course they banned me from reading!!
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I myself horded 33 pizza sticks and was beat by some kids who stole 49, it wasnt uncommon to horde to your dorm i mean an iron is a good oven and the food was already bad so whats the difference, we stole: MILK, CEREAL, BAGELS, NUTELLA, for christs sake we stole everything in large amounts, all thanks to backpacks and 5 quart containers, so if you didnt eat or get enough at meal time you coulda visited me in MLK 9 or Thoreaus 22 because honestly i would have loved to share MAD AMOUNTS OF PIZZA STICKS!!!
i was on bans from eye contact, suck my dick CEDU and get some morals
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we didn't have nutella :cry:
at different points in my stay, i was on bans from girls, guys, mirrors, saying "like", and the whole skool (sometimes with exceptions), many times. i guess i was on bans from not eating too... i was on plate check for awhile.. i remember sitting in the dining room all night one night because i refused to eat some yucky shit. oh yeh, cedu also told me how and how not to keep kosher; i should've known that they'd know my religious beliefs better than i would. it was really nice of them to call these beliefs an eating disorder.
damn, i love you, cedu.
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one of my good friends to this day would fetch wild mushrooms and throw em on all the food almost every meal in hopes of getting high, all he got was a bad reaction to Fritos which made for some out of control diarrhea and vomiting at the same time.
not smart? well no shit way to figure that out..
i couldnt blame him, me and him werent getting the help we needed we were just subject to living like mormons for 2 yrs....fuck em all
my goal in life is to marry a mormon woman have 32 kids and work at cedu....no.
pathetic fuckin stupid low lifes with no degrees who cant control there penises and dont believe in protection they should all be sodomized by broomsticks, castrated and have there kids taken away by child services.......:smile:
-now i can sleep at night!
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haha i was really bad at Bca I was never a good student nor a model student. I always used to break into the cafetria and steal food haha cookies chips cereal i even tried to break down the door that lead to all the ice cream. HAHA! I always walked out of raps when i was threatened i didn't give a fuck about there rules and i was on 5 full times 1 jumpsuit 3 restrictions 2 tables and 4 programs. HAHA i got sent to ascent haha i wrote an 8 page dirt list on stupid shit that i had already been caught for and shit that happend with former students like i was gonna "cop out" on people so they thought i was good.they were proud of me and that i was clean. a month later I did a tour and told the parents that this wasn't a good place to send there kids and that i wouldn't recommend it it corrupts u're child haha man did i get bitched out for that! my little sister got pulled like 5 months later. Then they tried sending me to the hospital i was so good there i got sent back man was i drugged up haha it was my excuse for never being anywhere lol i did make it to the challenge phase haha i never understood how but w/e i did! then after my iwtl i got pulled fuck yeah the key to my freedom! i came in a rebel and left a rebel!
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oooh! breaking into the walk-in and candy closets were fun.. i learned how to pick locks at cedu; i dedicated a good chunk of my time to being where i wasn't allowed to be, regardless of the barriers... the adrenaline rush got me high, and i got to master the art of breaking in.
i used to love breaking into offices and looking for stuff i wasn't supposed to see... i never really found anything that important; just some petty insider information that got me giddy at the time.
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In 1990 We would go into Bonners Ferry and get cold beer. Caroline Wolf caught us once.