Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Elan School => Topic started by: mandyelan3 on April 02, 2004, 04:54:00 PM
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Hey looking for people I know. Would love to hear from you!!!!!
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::rocker:: :wave:
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Hey, I remember you. You were a good soccer player. Have you heard from Chrysta Albanesi from E-8? I know you guys were friends.
Pete
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Hey Peter. I have not spoken to Chrysta since my days at elan. I would love to hear from her. Do you talk to anyone else from that time? It was nice hearing from you, Mandy
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From your house... hmmm... well, I used to talk to Hillary O'Neil, but she disappeared. And of course, Mike Lewandowski is all over this board.
I last talked to Chrysta in '97 -- she was doing OK then, being in college and all. I hope she's doing well today.
Also, I used to talk to a staff member from your house, Jim Collins. He was a great guy, not brutal or mean at all. He moved to California. I tried to contact him when I was out in LA, but he never responded.
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I talk to Mike all the time. I would love to talk to Jim he was so great. I tried to find Hil but no luck. So Jim left Elan, not at all a surprise. I used to talk to Bob all the time (staff) but I lost contact. Nice hearing from you.
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I've tried to talk to jim but no responses; i was glad to hear he doesnt work there any more. He never seemed to like it there. He was a good man and i hope he is doing well. did you ever hear from Nat, Mandy?
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Sorry I was not logged in, Mandy
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Yes I have spoken to Natalie. She sounds great. If you talk to Jim let me know. Bob no longer works at Elan either.
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Jim no longer works at Elan, but check out the alumni site, he wrote something positive on there in the stories section. "Elan is heaven on earth," is unfortunately a direct quote, and would never be written by an actual student, no matter how Elanified/brainwashed they are. For those who are too lazy, here it is:
"Being on the Staff in the late 1990's
By James Collins
Hello,
My name is James Collins, I am 29 years old and on August 17, 2000 I resigned as a Director of Elan 3. I had been employed there for 5 1/2 years.
These years were the most significant and important years of my life. I resigned so that I could move to California...not because of any other reason. In my years at this wonderful school, I learned so much. The rewards are irreplaceable and almost undecribeable. I would like to say that even though it is a tough program, the people I worked with and myself gave everything we had to those kids. You build very special relationships by being a role model and I would not change that for the world. I can HONESTLY say that I came away from Elan loving many of the students that I had the pleasure of helping. I also had the opportunity to learn a lot about myself as a person by knowing and working with people like Marty Kruglik, Marc Rosenberg, and especially Jeff Gottlieb.
I would just like people to understand that Elan is heaven on earth. We saved many lives on that campus and my fellow co-workers and friends are continuing to do so as I speak. There should be more places like Elan in this day and age. Now that I am living in California, a day does not pass that I do not think about a former student, co- worker or experience. I'd like to thank Marty Kruglik for giving me the opportunity to work at such a wonderful and meaningful school, it opened my eyes. I would also like to say that I miss Jeff Gottlieb as a co-worker, mentor and friend. He was very inspirational to work with and I feel lucky that I knew him. If you would like to share this with the Elan Alum., it would be my pleasure...I would actually prefer it.
Thank you,
James A. Collins
P.S. my e-mail is jacollins47@aol.com"
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Maybe he truely believed he was saving lives. Maybe he did save lives, what do I know? But I still don't get how could he not see all the pain that those kids were going through? Could anyone even mention heaven when so many tears were involved?
Peace!
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Okay heaven on earth might be strech,but I knew Jim pretty well and I really think he really cared about us all. I have read most of the posts on this sight and I know people are very angry. I look at my experience there as life changing. I really became a better person after Elan. I made a lot of great friends and learned alot from listening to their stories. I had some horrible days. I was mad alot, but I have more good memories than bad. I am not knocking what people have shared. I am only saying I experienced something different. You talked about pain that the kids were going through...did you mean pain Elan brought on to them or pain from the suffering at home. I remember some disturbing stories from people there. I am not saying I am perfect or even close. Hey and I have some staff members I did not appreciate but They did not put me there. It has been a long time since I was there. I am thankful that I am in contact with some old friends. I am a mother of 2 girls and a wife. I hope my girls will be better to me than I was to my mom. Hey I can hope. Please feel free to tell me about your experience. I hope it wasn't all bad, thanks Mandy
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Missionary zeal, maybe?
Compare to http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... orum=9&185 (http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?topic=4819&forum=9&185)May your days be joyfully challenging and your words artfully true
-- Ginger Warbis SMA, `00
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what?
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I hear ya Mandy,
I know there are a lot of very angry users in this site and I don't blame them, I have my share on this anger too, only I'm not an extremmist and I too believe Elan did some good in my life. Especially considering the fact that I was really messed up before I went to Elan and I don't know what would have happened in my life if I didn't go through that painful experience.
However, it was painful and yes, it was painful because of the concept itself. I exchange e-mails with Tania Merrete on a consistant basis, I'm not ungrateful for all the help that they've given me but I won't forgive them for all the damage that it's caused me either. I won't forgive them, or myself, for missing out on 2 and a half mother fuckin years of my life. Years that were meant to be the best years of my life and no one could possibly give them back to me. I never knew what lonely felt like til I got sent to that place. I never knew what being humilliated felt like til I was sent to that place. Can they give me back that fucking X-mas in which I spent facing the corner of a room begging to come out and being told NO? They can't. In this case, I don't blame myself cause I should have been out of the corner on December 22nd, but since Tania was on vacations, Peter Rowe was running the house and that's the kind of shit he does.
Of course, the same way you believe Jim really put his heart into what he did, I believe there are some really good ppl there with the best intentions in the world. I'm not sure how effective this program is and it's quite difficult to determine it, since the results are presented on an individual basis. It's helped me and damaged me at the same time. It's difficult to put this in perspective since I have so many mixed up feelings about it.
Anyways, this is my opinion based on my experience. I think it's important to respect everyone's opinion, wether they are pro or anti Elan, cause we all have our reasons to feel the way we do. It'd be nice to hear more about your experience, Mandy. And others too. That's why I go to this site.
Peace!
Marina
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Heaven? more like fucking hell in the woods.
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See I had such a different experience. I did not go through what you did, but I saw other people going through it. By the time I got to Elan my life was so out of control that I found peace there. I am sure that sounds crazy to people. You talked about feeling humiliated in the corner but I felt all of those feelings before Elan. I felt more in control of my life in Elan than I did at home. I had a sense of pride and purpose there. I am sure it sounds cheezy and i am sure people will have their opinion but oh well. I also feel like I had a good support system. Most of the staff and I were very close. I had trouble building any type of a relationship with Terri but I loved Bob Jeff Missy Jim. I wll say this... Peter and I never saw eye to eye and I was in a different house. He was my coach for track and cross country. He would drive me crazy!!!! You know I could go on forever but I know most people who were there have issues with the place. I get it. I was just lucky enough to make the best of it. Hey we all have our own story. Feel free to e mail me if you would like. munkin17@hotmail.com. I hope you did not feel like I am judging because it is not my intention. Take care Mandy
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Mandy,
We all have different experiences. I'm glad you're more mature that you wouldn't judge -- unlike some more self-righteous individuals.
My Elan experience was both good and bad. It kept me out of trouble and I grew up, but I missed some great years and it was frustrating and psychologically unsound as hell. It was powerful, yet irresponsible therapy.
I believe the experience of going to Elan, good or bad, is sacred and should be honored. That's why I'm writing the screenplay for "Number 5 Road."
Pete
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With all due respect, Mandy, it was a lot different for those of us who were not staff's favorite. Not too many students hated me personally, but did go after me at staff's direct encouragement. I'm assuming that you somehow had a personality that was agreeable to the staff at 3, or were there voluntarily for most of your stay. I did not get anything out of Elan except maybe how to keep feelings inside more, which might be positive if I had a different ethnic background, but it wasn't. My family and I do not talk about things or express our feelings about anything, so even though I left in 1999, my family and I are still angry at each other about Elan. I do not want to tell about the circumstances in which I was sent there, but I will say that they were unforgivable, and I am not exaggerating. My parents are way more fucked up than I am, but unfortunately I was a legal minor, so I got sent away. I eventually got pulled out, but way too late for me to forgive them for putting me there. They really had no clue what that place was like, but they think that me and everyone on this and a few other sites are exaggerating and that the "successful" Elan students are all at Yale consequently too busy to go on these sites. Believe it or not, I do go to a good school, not Ivy League, but still good, so I'm not just some loser who could not make it in society and is trying to blame Elan. I have made it a personal point to graduate college (BA) just to prove Elan staff wrong.
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On 2004-04-05 15:36:00, Marina wrote:
" Maybe he truely believed he was saving lives. Maybe he did save lives, what do I know? But I still don't get how could he not see all the pain that those kids were going through? Could anyone even mention heaven when so many tears were involved?
Peace!"
I've never met this guy, but anyone who thinks that Elan is heaven on earth would probably think that the Passion of the Christ is a comedy.
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I hated that movie, almost walked out of my sit. :flame:
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What house were you in? Yes I agree that I was one of the staffs favorites. I think it was in part of my personality but also because I really wanted to better myself. I stayed a couple of months after my 18 birthday so that I could finish the program but I also earned my high school diploma. I know a lot of people hated it and I did some days but overall I came out of there with alot of great memories and good relationships. I think that it is great that you are going to college. I still have not finished. I keep hearing people say they missed out on years of their life. See I can't relate to that because it saved me from ruining years of my life. See you said your parents were messed up and needed help. It was different for me. I really deserved to be there. I was lucky my mom sent me there instead of some hospital. I really do not want to tell all the reasons I was sent there but it was all me. Again I am not judging just sharing how I feel and what I went through. I am not perfect far from it. Mandy
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Sorry thats my post Mandy
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I was in 8, 96-99. My guess was that you were 18, because that's usually the only kids staff were nice to, so that they won't sign out. People who were treated better by staff tended to get more out of the program from what I've seen. I saw Elan help some people and get them on the right track, but a lot of people were there who really didn't need to be there. And it's not like my Elan experience was even the worst, I was never in the ring or anything. Elan for me was more the icing on the cake as far as the relationship with my family goes, not really a defining moment in my life, more like a waste of time. I'm not saying every decision I made was great, but I'm pretty sure that no matter what I did, I would have been put away somewhere, if not Elan.