Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Froderik on May 28, 2003, 10:48:00 PM
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Sex raps - the worst. Time to talk about how sex and "perverted" acts are tied into your 'chemical dependency'. Yeah, you "got good feelings" from it, so it has to be wrong, right? Everything we did was "abnormal" and "immoral". Pre-marital sex! God forbid!! Only a "druggie" would do that... :scared:
How degrading! Those were the WORST. Real THERAPEUTIC. I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach every time we had one of those. Was it once a week??
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I heard some of the most degrading things people should have never been expected to talk about in a group there. Personal things. I'm sure some of those confessions have never stopped haunting people. The shame we were made to feel about our bodies, our sexual preferences or feelings distorted and filled with guilt. Our pain and suffering was always our faults. Horrible... I confessed to being raped and was led to believe it was my fault because I was a "Druggie." (I had been 13 at the time)
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Sex raps were the worst, most definitely.
Thinking back, it's amazing that those of us here are still functioning in society.
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Hooga-chukka :rofl:
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Hey everybody,
Sex rap to me is a fucking t.v. reality series Straight out of the past. Fox would air it if they could . . .
The sex raps are by far the wierdest thing I have ever experienced in my life . . . having to express those types of issues to anyone but family and certified professionals who are trained in that area is without excuse!
If I could go back in time I would probably stake the building and SERIOUSLY hurt a lot of upper phasers and staff.
Big time.
I am sure it was a lot worse for the girls, since one in four girls in the U.S. are estimated to have been sexually abused/molested before age 18.
Most of the girls I've dated, and a close family member have chosen to trust me with painful experiences such as these. I would never scream at them, blame them and put them even through even more abuse.
What they (Straight)did was sick.
Being guys, I think alot of us (especially us Hellraisers) thought of the guys sex rap as being a bragging festival, and issues such as rape rarely came up in our guys rap.
However, I know for a fact many of the girls raised just as much objection as the guys.
I can't imagine the girls individual raps and what you all were forced to talk about.
Being forced to discuss those types of issues with a bunch of people laughing and screaming at you when you are a 13+ girl is nothing more than psychological and emotional torture.
A few times the raps were held in the main room, so everyone shared together.
That was private stuff that was no one's business - they forced us to talk even if we had to make up shit as we went along just to appease the group.
I hate those people - they were evil then and alot of them have probably never changed.
May they all rot in Hell and die a painful death at an early age.
David
M.I.A.
Straight Richardson 88/89 ::stab::
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::ftard:: Weel, I had not had any sexual experiences in life prior to the program other than some heavy petting in a car a couple times. My parents had kept me pretty much "in line" bein in private school and military school and whatever. So anyway, when I got stood up to relate about sexual experiences, it was definitely AWKWARD! All the guys would talk about how they did it and I could only stand there like ::ftard:: They left alone after that.
I firmly believe that confessing these kinds of things was a prerequisite to advancing in the program. I remember 5th phasers just rattling away about "GET HONEST!" to newcomers, and "YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT!" as the underlings would choke with embarrassment etc. I was never called on to confront anyone, being the burned out, non combative type I suppose they decided there was no point in pressing sexual issues with me so much. Like beating a dead horse I suppose.
I know one thing, :smokin:
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The thing I noticed about the raps that had a lot to do with sex is there were staff members you could always count on to have sex be the topic. Alice Rollins, Alan Holcombe, Steve Cavander, Pam Streakman, Patty something and some others I can't remember really stand out as being all to willing to hear these stories. Damn I wish I could remember her name. I can remember thinking they were really sick as this was all they wanted to talk about.
I'm thinking this could be the cause for some of the kinks in my sex drive. I guess it wouldn't be the only thing straight helped me with........
CL
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Carolina Journal Exclusives
The Problem of Rape Statistics
Real risks buried in a mountain of misleading data, scare stories
By Jon Sanders
May 30, 2003
RALEIGH ? A news article in The Daily Tar Heel April 24 contained a shocking lead: ?A woman is raped every two minutes. Almost one in every four women between the ages of 18 and 24 is a survivor of sexual assault.?
No sources for this information are given ? which is mildly surprising since it is published in the campus newspaper for the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a UNC flagship university with a well-known school of journalism. It is not, however, unusual for any campus discussion of that particular subject. Here are a few examples just from the current academic year:
? ?There are probably 200 to 250 undergraduate men on this campus who are rapists (one out of 15), based on a 15-year old survey. Fifteen percent of undergraduate men say they would commit rape if there was no chance of punishment.? Jillian Johnson, ?Stop Rape at Duke,? Duke University Chronicle, Feb. 27, 2003
? ?1 in 4 college women,? sign seen at UNC-Chapel Hill protest of violence against women, as reported in the DTH, Nov. 5, 2002
? ?Anytime a woman is drunk and has sex, she has then been raped.? Andrew A. Farr, N.C. State Technician, Sept. 24, 2002
? ?Every three hours and 52 minutes, a rape is committed in North Carolina. Most of the victims are women. One in four college women report surviving rape.? Dana Henderson, Technician, Sept. 10, 2002
? ?I am 100 percent sure that at least one rape has occurred on campus since school has started ... anywhere from one in three to one in eight women will be assaulted in her lifetime.? Bryan Proffit, Technician, Aug. 27, 2002 (one week after school started)
What is going on? Are our universities undergoing an epidemic of curiously unreported rape? Or is something else at work? As Katie Rophie wrote in the New York Times Magazine of June 13, 1993, in response to the one-in-four statistic: ?If 25 percent of my women friends were really being raped, wouldn?t I know it??
Christina Hoff Sommers, author of Who Stole Feminism?, has provided the answer. The one-in-four statistic hails from a 1985 Ms. magazine report by Mary Koss. Koss interviewed about 3,000 randomly selected college women about sexual violation. She determined that 25.7 percent were victims of rape or attempted rape ?because they gave answers that fit Koss?s criteria for rape? ? which bear scrutiny, as they are ?penetration by penis, finger, or other object under coercive influence such as physical force, alcohol, or threats.? Those broad criteria may explain why only 27 percent of Koss? ?rape victims? considered themselves to be rape victims. Also, Koss considered a woman a victim of sexual assault if she answered ?yes? to (and 53.7 ?victims? did) ?Have you ever given in to sex play (fondling, kissing, or petting, but not intercourse) when you didn?t want to because you were overwhelmed by a man?s continual arguments and pressure??
University of California Berkeley Professor Neil Gilbert pointed out a key flaw in that study: Koss?s categorizing as having been raped any woman who answered ?yes? to ?Have you had sexual intercourse when you didn?t want to because a man gave you alcohol or drugs?? As Gilbert wrote in Current Controversies in Family Violence, edited by Richard Gelles and Donileen Loseke, ?What does having sex ?because? a man gives you drugs or alcohol signify? A positive response does not indicate whether duress, intoxication, force, or the threat of force were present; whether the woman?s judgment or control were substantially impaired; or whether the man purposefully got the woman drunk in order to prevent her resistance to sexual advances.?
Sommers also points out a key flaw in the ?one-in-eight? statistic cited above, which is from Dean Kilpatrick?s "National Woman?s Study." Kilpatrick?s study is ?a fairly straightforward and well-designed survey? on rape and asked questions about intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or penetration by ?fingers or objects? done ?against your will by using force or threat of harm.? The last category, however, as Sommers explains, ?includes cases in which a boy penetrated a girl with his finger, against her will, in a heavy petting situation. Certainly the boy behaved badly. But is he a rapist? Probably neither he nor his date would say so,? she wrote. ?Yet the survey classifies him as a rapist and her as a rape victim.?
Politics intrude
The problem of the faulty statistics owes to ?the intrusion of politics into the field of inquiry,? Sommers said. ?There are many researchers who study rape victimization, but their relatively low figures generate no headlines.? Among them: a 1993 Louis Harris and Associates telephone poll that found only 2 percent of women were victims of rape or sexual assault; Professor Mary Gordon of the University of Washington?s 1981 study that found only one in 50 women raped; and Duke researcher Dr. Linda George, who found, using ?questions very close to Kilpatrick?s? one in 17.
Another problem Sommers cites is ?the morally indefensible way that public funds for combating rape are being allocated.? Specifically, ?college women are getting the lion?s share of public resources for combating rape? despite studies (which she cites) showing that rape rates are far higher in poor areas than wealthy areas and far lower for women on a college or university campus than for women off campus.
Underscoring that latter fact, UNC-Greensboro students are dealing with the reality of a serial rapist who is attacking women in neighborhoods near campus (seven had been attacked by mid-April). Major J. C. Herring, assistant chief of UNCG Police, wrote to the UNCG Carolinian April 7 pointing out that ?None of the attacks occurred on campus? and said ?the University should use the incidents to encourage students to live on campus where they have the benefit of secured residence halls, well lighted streets, a professional police force, and the safety escort service.?
At UNC-CH, meanwhile, the DTH story cited at the beginning of this article contrasted the ?one-in-four? claim with UNC-CH?s comparatively low numbers of ?only two rapes [on campus] in 2002 and only 17 sexual assault victims.? For the DTH, ?the numbers don?t add up? ? and it takes the ?one-in-four? statistic as gospel truth while viewing UNC-CH police?s official numbers as clearly wrong and indicative of a greater problem.
UNC-CH?s solution underscores Sommers? point about rape resource allocation. ?UNC officials submitted a grant application last week to the U.S. Department of Justice,? the story said. ?If the grant is approved, the money will be used to re-evaluate UNC?s Sexual Assault Response Plan, add an antiviolence program to C-TOPS and create a media campaign against violence at the University, said Melinda Manning, assistant dean of students.?
Sanders is assistant editor at Carolina Journal.
A good site:
http://www.ifeminists.net/index.php (http://www.ifeminists.net/index.php)
I have to take issue with the espoused gender feminist manifesto. I, however, do not think that people in straight were representative of the norms and this article and site do not apply to our experiences there. This is more stuff I keep track of to see what I can expect from the PC crowd where my son is concerned.
CL
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I don't know about 1 in 4 necessarily (Yes if a woman is too drunk to say no then she is raped, but every person who get's drunk and decides to get it on is not a rape victom or rapist)but I think that a lore more men and women are rape victoms then we necessarily know. But with my experience in the program every single girl was raped or aussalted in some way and that didn't seem right. Of course staff said that it was because "Druggies" put themselves in those positions but hardly any of the kids were really "druggies" anyways (not that anyone puts themselves in a position to be raped). So why did all the girls have stories of rape? Because if you didn't you were "Full of shit" and had to "fess up" or you would never graduate.
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On 2003-06-05 17:44:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Yes if a woman is too drunk to say no then she is raped, but every person who get's drunk and decides to get it on is not a rape victom or rapist"
How do you figure? I'll agree that if someone passes out or is otherwise incapacitated and some poor excuse of a human takes advantage of that condition, that would be rape. What about the person that gets good and drunk and then in the AM decides "God, I wish I hadn't done that, but I was in no condition to say no. Oh my god, I've been raped!" The person in question never lost consciousness and in fact greatly enjoyed themselves during the escapade. I would not call this rape. I would call it failing to take responsibility for ones actions. The gender feminists' dogma that I have issue with doesn't see it this way. To them it is rape even if the freaky play'a changes their mind after the act.
Hell, I have several encounters with women that I wish had never happened. Does this mean I've also been raped.
Please Note: I know this is a touchy subject and have no wish to belittle or demean persons who have been sexually abused. I am not speaking about those issues and completely agree that is not the victim's fault. I further believe this is a silent issue and there are a vast number of unreported cases. I just disagree with the figure of 25% of women. Seeing as their are more women than men in America that would make up to 25% of men rapists. I find it hard to fathom that up to 50% of the population in the US is either a rape victim or rapist.
Clay
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I have to agree with you here Clay....I think that the whole "I said yes, but meant no" issue is way overblown. I have been drunk many times, and had many encounters that I would never have had otherwise, but not a one of them would I consider rape.
I think that there is not such a huge gray area where actual violent "rape" is concerned. I do however, feel that the "idea" of rape encompasses such a huge gray area because of the emotional disruption of individuals. A girl has relations with someone while drunk, wakes up, feels guilt, wants to feel better....whats a better way than to claim that she was taken advantage of? Lookie there! All of a sudden it isnt her fault! Its RAPE! Thats where the proverbial "hot McDonalds coffee in the lap" mentality comes in. You can make anything look really horrible, whether it really is or not is relative to how many people you can convince to think like you do.
I am not discounting rape...I have most certainly been sexually molested before, and I know the difference. However, the human condition will always prevail, as I am fond of saying. Where there is smoke, there is fire...and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...
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The pathetic thing is that too many guys in this world (not all) see a passed out girl and think,"Hmmmmm... Look at what we have here..." :scared:
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um, woops. that was me.
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http://www.nambla1.de/ (http://www.nambla1.de/)
:flame:
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Unfortunately, whats right for one...cannot be right for all...and vice versa. I think there are very valid relationships that occur between people regardless of age....but how many invalid or unhealthy ones occur as well?
There are two sides to every type of situation.
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Uh, sex with a 13 year old...?
Weren't we all kids in Straight? I know there were acceptions, but to use the word "Woman" in this subject is seeming to forget that fact.
"Regardless of age?" What the fuck ever.
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EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW Wrath on you!! :flame:
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who??????
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On 2003-06-06 17:21:00, Anonymous wrote:
"who??????"
:flame: Let me introduce myself. I am the Wrath of Sparkle and I am here to stamp oout stupidity!
Who are you?
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pinkie.
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"On 2003-06-05 17:44:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Yes if a woman is too drunk to say no then she is raped, but every person who get's drunk and decides to get it on is not a rape victom or rapist"
How do you figure? I'll agree that if someone passes out or is otherwise incapacitated and some poor excuse of a human takes advantage of that condition, that would be rape. What about the person that gets good and drunk and then in the AM decides "God, I wish I hadn't done that, but I was in no condition to say no. Oh my god, I've been raped!"
Clay, I'm not sure if you were adding on to what I was saying or disagreeing with it, but either way I was trying to make the same statment that you did.
However there was a paragraph in that report that disagreed that being penetrated by a finger or an object shouldn't have been counted as rape when a woman said no to it and I can't quite figure out why it wouldn't.
This topic's kind of gotten of kilter but since we're discussing statistics I'm interested in knowing if the rest of you feel that many or most of the rape/abuse stories you heard in sex raps were legit. Do you think that some developed those stories through false memory, or maybe made them up in order to progress? Or do you thinnk their innocent "incidents" were suddenly turned into abuse stories because they'd been lead to believe that they should be ashamed of all sex acts?
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You look good in that bag. :wink:
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I've gotten drunk many times and ended up having sex with someone I wouldn't have had sex with otherwise.
However. Often rapes happen to drunk folk. I was held hostage for hours and raped by someone I thought was a friend. I was drunk in the beginning but sober by the time it was over. I finally got away after he fell asleep.
I had gone with him to his apartment accross the street from a party I was at to help him carry back a couple of cases of beer he claimed to have in his frige. The party had ran out of beer.
When we got there and I found out he had no beer he started groping me. When I told him no he got pissed and that started the whole thing.
I regret I didn't report it because I found out 2 years later he had done it to 2 other girls. I was 18 at the time.
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I'm gay. Yes I know... butt, it's true.
Anyway, being a man of the gay persuasion you would think that I would be all for NAMBLA but, that's not the case. I don't know about you but, boys are so lame in the sack. I'm sorry but, I just can't deal with all the pre-mature ejaculation problems they have. I need someone with a little staying power and boys are not where its at. Boys who want to have sex with adult men are like basketball players who leave college their freshman year to go to the NBA.
They just don't have the experience to ball with the big boys, so you have to coddle them.
Well fuck that shit. I need cock, not wet sheets!
Fuck NAMBLA!
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FUBAR -
Being fubar can lead one to make bad judgments, and placing themselves into situations where bad things can happen. This is not an excuse for assault. I have heard similar stories from quite a few of my friends and it always pisses me off at the punk guys do this kind of BS. I have never seen the reason to lure someone to my apartment or where ever on false pretenses. It has always worked kind of well just asking for what I want. I still think these issues are under-reported.
However there was a paragraph in that report that disagreed that being penetrated by a finger or an object shouldn't have been counted as rape when a woman said no to it and I can't quite figure out why it wouldn't.
I saw this also and I am pretty sure it is a misprint. I think this is referring to a, ummm, in-depth heavy petting session where one decides to see how far one can go and the partner says no to the attempt or once, umm, progress has been made. I don't think this is referring to something out of the blue and not related towards current activities.
Here's one for you. In CA a man was found guilty of 2nd or 3rd degree sexual assault because while during intercourse the woman changed her mind and he didn't stop quick enough. He did stop before completing the act though.
I'm interested in knowing if the rest of you feel that many or most of the rape/abuse stories you heard in sex raps were legit. Do you think that some developed those stories through false memory, or maybe made them up in order to progress?
I think there was a fair degree of both going on. There were a disproportionate number of sexual abuse victims in straight. This is more from experience as an ex-staffer than anything else. For crying out loud, a lot of people in straight really were fucked up indivduals. There problems just weren't drugs and NOBODY earned or deserved their little blue chair. Most everybodies issues could have been dealt with using the time proven methods of therapy and letting them grow up.
Clay
PS I have this pot roast cooking in a crock pot. Some onion soup mix, 4 cloves, 1 tsp bay leaves, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 nutmeg, 1 tbs black pepper and to taste salt. Has a really good flaver. Smells so good I am going to have trouble going to sleep tonight. It's killing me y'all. Killing ME!
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I'm interested in knowing if the rest of you feel that many or most of the rape/abuse stories you heard in sex raps were legit/. Do you think that some developed those stories through false memory, or maybe made them up in order to progress? Or do you thinnk their innocent "incidents" were suddenly turned into abuse stories because they'd been lead to believe that they should be ashamed of all sex acts?"
We are talking about children here, aren't we?
13, 14, 15, 16...
So you think it might be okay for a 13 year old girl to have sex with a 24 year old man, if she gives concent?
Or how about 24 and 15? Now let's take in mind shall we, what kind of man wants to have sex with girls/boys this age? Pedophiles and child molesters, that's what kind.
This is a very sensitive subject for me. Because this DID happen to me as a child. Feeling like I have to defend myself about it is the shittiest feeling. As a matter of fact, the cocaine I tested positive for before entering Straight was cocaine I was forced, YES FORCED to take. This asshole my mom was letting stay in the guest bedroom made me suck his dick that he'd poured about .50 grams of cocaine on. Not to mention the multiple other times. My stepbrother had the same ideas about a year before this guy. He was 24 I was 13. Sound romantic to you?
How this subject can even go into the "innocent incidents" possability catagory is beyond me. We were children. "NAMBLA, TO EACH HIS OWN HUH?" (My stepbrother told me he loved me.)
Those NAMBLA perverts are in prison now FOR A
REASON, BECAUSE SEX WITH CHILDREN IS WRONG.
FUCKING PERIOD.
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Some pedophiles believe that they have done nothing wrong and are simply more enlightened than the general public. They feel they are part of a special progressive movement and one day society will come to accept, what they see as, their sacred ritual of adult/child sex.
Hmmmmm....Like those assosiated with NAMBLA???
"To each his own" huh?
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Carmel,
I usually agree what you have to say, but thinking that it is acceptable and normal to have sex with children is sick. ::rainbow::
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"We are talking about children here, aren't we?
13, 14, 15, 16...
So you think it might be okay for a 13 year old girl to have sex with a 24 year old man, if she gives concent?"
Mo, no I don't think that it is okay but I wasn't responding to the above link. I was speaking about 15 year olds having sex or making out with other 15 year olds, and also the "incidents" of older clients (some as old as 24). I had sexual experiences as a young person with other people my age. I may have been young but I was responsible (safer sex only with someone I was very close with). Therefore I feel that it was "innocent", though as a newcomer I was told that this was something that I had to recover from despite the fact that I'd left with no negative feelings over it and nothing harmful ever happened to me. There were others I knew who were taught to believe that they'd been victomized from sitiatuons that I percieved as regular teenage heavy petting (totally consentual).
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I agree...however, if you think about it, I also mentioned that for every otherwise healthy experience that may take place under these circumstances, i.e., when i was younger (15-18) I was involved with several people quite a bit older than myself which proved to be healthy exchanges, most of which I still am involved in to this day as an adult (not sexually of course, but these people continue to be a part of my life as friends).........how many "unhealthy" relationships are formed as well? i.e. situations that this NAMBLA site seems to be a hot-bed for......that was all I was trying to say.
Speaking from personal experience, its entirely possible to have certain relationships, even sexual ones, with older people and have them be a positive addition to your life. Molestation, rape, and similar non-consentual sexual abuse...is NOT okay. I was sexually abused as a very young child, why would I think that it was okay?
I defend some of my choices that I made at that age, because I know that some of them were healthy, and I wont discount myself and agree that even though I may view these choices as positive, that they are to be grouped into any and all abusive categories due to my age at that the time...that is simply untrue.
At the same time, the negativity that results from these sorts of situations can be equally devastating and unhealthy, I have experienced that side of the coin too (as I mentioned above, I defend SOME of my decisions)...but I understand that there is a difference.
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I have to agree with Carmel on this one. Assigning an age does indeed discount the individual. It like those much maligned one size fits all "Zero Tollerence" laws. Take this into account, my wife had just turned 18 when I met her, I was 27. Using the one size fits all mentality, I'm a pervert. While this may indeed be the case, I do not consider myself that kind of pervert and go out of my way to track down the ones I occasionally find on the internet and report them. I consider them the only thing worse than a politician.
That being said, I think there is an absolute cut off point to discretion. I would say pre-puberty, but studies are showing that some girls are starting puberty as early as 10. I don't think any 10 year old has any conception (No pun) of the consequences of sex or anyone should encourage sexual activity. Eewww, gross. This begs the question though, what age would be okay. I would guess this, for me, would change depending on if you were talking about my daughter or not.
I think herein lies the truth. I don't think this is for governemt to mandate, but for parents to educate there children about. So many parents are so into themselves and don't know enough about this subject themselves, the state school systems get the responsibility thrown back at them. Here in SC, our state has mandated abstinence based sex-ed. Talk about a mixed message! Sex and being sexy is being flashed constantly at the adolescent raging hormones and what do they get for education? Don't have pre-marital sex or you'll explode! But, if you do, here's how to use a condom... WTF?!
I tend to think repressing these changes and discouraging experimentation will lead to malformed ideas about sex and sexuality. I think this kind of approach lacks honesty. Damn near all these kids can read. (Notice I didn't say all.) They will find out about the sexual revolutions of the 1960's and 1970's. They will find out that our generation is not practicing what they preach. All this hipocracy will come back and haunt us.
CL
PS Carmel - It is so good to be hearing from you again.
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Clay, you're right. It would depend if the daughter was yours, but why would it change your mind if it was? Whether it's a stranger's kid or mine, I feel the same way. If you aren't old enough to support yourself, you have no business having sex. My daughter is 12, and I think about what happened to me more sometimes now that she's older. If you need to ask yourself, "Should a 14 year old be having sex?" You've got a problem.
I don't discourage education or premarital sex. Just rape, statutory rape, molestation... You know, SEX CRIMES? If your kid craves intimate love from someone in a sexual nature (who is much older than them) or any other unhealthy form at age 11,12,13,14,15... you're doing a crappy job of showing your kids they are loved. For a person to associate sex with love at such a young age is just unhealthy. The neglected children call out to pedaphiles, never having to say a word. :skull:
BTW - This was about rape not consentual sex anyway, wasn't it?
PS- I realize I have a strong tendency to blame parents. This is probably just because mine sucked. I know there are exceptions any situation.
Sorry to sound angry or closed minded, this is a sensitive subject for me. I get all hot under the collar sometimes... :roll:
[ This Message was edited by: mo on 2003-06-10 09:21 ]
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I remember losing it in one of those "co-ed" sex raps. I was a virgin, and I refused to play their little game. I started yelling at everybody and cussing real bad, and no one could shut me up. The staffer leading this fiasco was Mike Murphy, and the girl staff was Aimee Wrong.
Aimee was stupid enough to call on a girl, but before she could get one word out, I called her a stupid slut and to shut the fuck up and get back in the kitchen. Buy now, I had little traces of foam in the corners of my mouth and was acting like a rabid dog. I simply refused to be made to feel guilty over something that I had not done. I told the fuckers it was wrong to make us bring the shit up, and asked them what they hoped to accomplish. After I made a comment about how I was tired of giving staff more stuff they could use against me it got real quiet and the rap changed gears into more about the shitty ways we used people when we were druggies. In my own twisted way, I took something that started out hurtful and meaningless and turned it into a damn Love Rap. Not long after this, I made 3rd phase. I guess I was a little too volatile for the daytime anymore, and they shuffled me off to school just like that.
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I lost my virginity at 14. I had a 17 year old boyfriend and we used condoms. Personally, I dont feel what I did was wrong or sick--we experimented. I dont feel that my parents didnt love me--or that was looking for love that they werent giving me. My mom didnt even have a problem with it because I was able to let her know what was going on.
I dont regret it, and I dont feel that I was too young. We stayed together throughout most of my high school years. When we broke up--it hurt but again it was all pretty much a natural response for a relationship that lasted several years.
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I lost my virginity at 16. I had a 19 year old girlfriend and we never heard of condoms.
I dont feel what I did was wrong or sick - but I got the feeling that her parents did...they "caught us" (my hiding in her closet didn't help.) I dont regret it, and I dont feel that I was too young. We stayed together for some of my high school years (which means about 8 months, I'm guessing. Then, she went away to some dance school for a summer and broke my throbbing little heart. :cry2:
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The two above scenarios sound perfectly normal. I mean, a few years apart is different than a decade. What I should have said above was, "If you think a 14 year old should be having sex with a 24 year old...problem."
Now 18 and 28 is a different story too, and I know that a lot of people have their first relationships at 16 and younger. If you are old enough to be self sufficient then you may be mature enough to be having sex. Everyone is different. Education is the key, yes sir. There will always be exceptions to any rule. My first 'real' relationship was at 17, and my first real sex. Unfortunately I lost my virginity at 13 to the wrong person (stepbrother). He used to give me drugs and alcohol too. For me, it was a yearning for love, and a much older guy taking advantage of me. That was right after my abusive father died, same with the 24 year-old man at 15. However he, was violent and forceful as well, not good. ::noway::
Carmel, I totally hear you on the, "Bad people can be BAD and good people are GOOD." I know that's not your quote, but that was your point right? I didn't have those positive role models unfortunately. With the exception of my maid growing up. Emma. She's who pretty much raised me ages 4-12. I suppose that's why my best friend is black. Her family is like my family. Does that make me a wigger? I don't know. I just love them for taking me in and accepting me. I'm proud to be one if I am. (wigger) hehe :smile:
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On 2003-06-10 05:11:00, Froderik13 wrote:
"I lost my virginity at 16. I had a 19 year old girlfriend and we never heard of condoms.
I dont feel what I did was wrong or sick - but I got the feeling that her parents did...they "caught us" (my hiding in her closet didn't help.) I dont regret it, and I dont feel that I was too young. We stayed together for some of my high school years (which means about 8 months, I'm guessing. Then, she went away to some dance school for a summer and broke my throbbing little heart. :cry2: "
*gives you a hug* :wink:
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I (a male)was 16, she was 26, married and with children. She was hot as shit and her hubby was in prison for murder and would be locked up for decades to come.
Was I wrong? Was she?
Contrary to the unorthodox and sinful pairing, she took me to church for the first time and taught me to read the bible. I saw her only once since, but the gift she gave me will be with me forevermore (spirituality NOT v.d., I know what some of you are thinking!!)
Was I wrong? Was she?
To partially quote "Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen "I don't feel [tardy"] molested.
She screamed when she came and I smiled-though I was worried about the nieghbors.
What is my point? I don't know, maybe I'm just bragging about boinking an old lady at such a young age. Maybe just trying to make someone somewhere reading this smile. Maybe it's just another perspective of an aforementioned scenario with reversed genders. Maybe Maybe Maybe.
To quote another lyric "Don't ask me, I don't know!"
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:grin:
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To Day Jerk,
The guy-girl sex rap was by far the weirdest and most disturbing aspect of Straight to me.
Good for you that you stood up and told them to go STRAIGHT to Hell.
Most of us did, until the brainwashing started to set in . . . .
For everyone who is talking about ages and what is right and wrong:
I don't see a problem with a 14 and 24 year old.
I have to differ on this one Morli.
I personally don't see what the two could possibly have in common, however, this is very ethnocentric thinking on our parts.
Lets talk about, say, third world countries.
My next door neighbor is around 14 and already has a child.
Her husband is in his late 20's (possibly older).
They are from a rural town outside of Mexico City.
She has a child and another one on the way.
He works hard it seems and supports the kid(s).
They seem very happy and normal together.
Most of my neighbors are hispanic (Central and South America).
Who are we to stand up, and self-righteously judge other societies ethical behavior, laws and morals?
:roll:
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mithygato:
I understand... Like I said, this personally is a touchy subject. That's why I added,"I realize again, there can always be exceptions to any rule. I personally had bad experiences that have made this a very touchy subject. I really appreciate the different perspectives."
Morli
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Morli,
I meant no disrespect in any way to what you or others have went through as far as being abused and neglected.
Quite the opposite, I wish you and others nothing but love and happiness in life!
I was only saying that in the case of my neighbors, they seem very happy.
As long as it is a consentual agreement on both parts I don't have any problem with their relationship, or others that resemble it.
Consent is the key here, though.
Hovever, the line obviously has to be drawn in some cases.
I mean, who is to determine who's too young?
Personally, I don't agree with their relationship, but it's not my life or business.
Myself, I wouldn't know what to talk about with a 14 year old girl if I dated one (which ain't gonna happen).
Nelly, Henry Potter, Brittany Spears, I mean cum on . . .
I would never do it, but I can't judge other societies when it comes to certain things.
When Ellen Degenerate had the first lesbian kiss on t.v some ten years ago the U.S. media was in a frenzy.
Today, it's a common occurance in prime time sitcoms and daytime (conservitive t.v. mind you).
Nobody blinks an eye.
Who is mature enough to be in a relationship that may be considered taboo?
How old is old enough?
In our society today, it seems to be younger and younger (10,11,12 and pregnant!!!!!!!).
Not to get on the ole' soapbox, but I think it's simple conditioning on our parts as parents.
Lead by example (nurture), and chances are your child will imitate your behavior . . . . and be a better person because of it.
Peace to all.
david
M.I.A.
Richardson 88/89
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I understand David, thanks.