Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: MightyAardvark on January 01, 2007, 01:45:30 PM
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I feel the love man. I feel it right here (tears)
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heh I was one of those foster parents 5 years ago - damn that kid was hard work but she came good in the end, due to her own hard work, not mine I might add ... lovely kid
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With you all the way Three Springs but I must say you are wrong in regards to bad foster parents being in the minority and good ones in the majority. It is bad foster parents in the majority and good ones in the minority. We need more good foster parents.
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With you all the way Three Springs but I muse say you are wrong in regards to bad foster parents being in the minority and good ones in the majority. It is bad foster parents in the majority and good ones in the minority. We need more good foster parents.
True
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Well, I could suggest you try to interview some foster kids.
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It is no secret Foster Care is a come one, come all, for -profit business. At least here in USA and Exhausted says it is the same in the UK. Now , if you say in Korea or some other country, I have no knowledge to dispute that.
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Those well meaning individuals that are not motivated by a cheque from the state every month.
I think they adopt.
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In the US, I really think it's contingent on what state you are in. CPS's fostercare oversight is better in some than others. I believe the worst is New Jersey. They have actually lost foster children in their system. In addition, they at one point outsourced their call center to India. (I shit you not. As if it was a tech support line.) People got wind of that and complained up and down, so they moved it back to NJ.
Those well meaning individuals that are not motivated by a cheque from the state every month.
I think they adopt.
You can foster with the intent to adopt, actually. It's much easier than trying to adopt outright. Also a lot of kids who are in the foster system aren't "needing" brand new, permanent, parents. Their mom could be in jail and their dad missing, for example. As such, they only need temporary care until their mom gets out of the joint.
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Lady in my building is a foster parent. She is always down stairs waiting for the mailman on days she gets her checks from the system. They obviously did not do much of a background check on her as she is an alcoholic who drinks forties and is out late at night alot drunk. She also likes to take off her shirt in the hallway and go bra only when she is drunk. She is also a very, very, nasty drunk and is also an anti-white racist.
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stop talkin' smack bout my mama.
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While I don't have stats about foster parents, I've seen some about foster kids and the prognosis is not good at all. Most foster kids end up FUBAR.
Yes they lost some kids in NJ, but what set the public off was when a child was killed (as in starved to death) and his siblings were close to dead. The foster mom (actually the real mom's sister) was the culprit and her boyfriend turned her in when he discovered the kids chained in the basement.
What caused the uproar was that the assigned social worker signed off that he/she had seen the kids when he/she did not visit the home at all.
The spotlight was thrown on DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services; NJ's version of CPS) and a court ordered reform. One point made was the case load. Some case workers were assigned over 300 kids to watch.
This was a big news story in NJ when I lived there.
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Exhausted says it is the same in the UK
Exhausted's view of British Social Services is coloured and biased at best :flame:
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by coloured and biased you mean totally full of shit I assume?
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A recent investigation of CPS in Tx revealed that a child was 5 times more likely to be injured of killed in out-of-home placement. While this included foster care, many kids are placed in RTCs, like Woodside Trails (aka Eagle Pines Academy) and Star Ranch (licensed revoked).
While there are some foster parents who deserve recognition, some are in it for the money.
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The vast majority of foster parents are in it for the money. And LOL TSW.
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Exhausted says it is the same in the UK
Exhausted's view of British Social Services is coloured and biased at best :flame:
As I have every right to be
They are as much use as a chocolate radiator
The girl I fostered 5 years ago was a 13 year old persistent runaway prostitute, who was in danger of getting herself killed, the only way she would stay at home and not keep running off to London was if I agreed to take her in
Social Services were totally against this idea and wanted her to return home, where she was smacked around the head with a saucepan, burnt with an iron by step dad and verbally abused
Good old social services agreed with mum that she was a very lucky girl because her mum bought her a pony :roll:
The kid would have been better treated if she'd grown four legs and a tail, my onjective was to work with her & her mum and try to get her home without all the crap that was going down in their house happening, it didn't work out, they were determined to control her with abuse
She visits me often, and tells me she just needed to be with people who cared about her for who she was, in the long run she went back to college and is doing very nicely thank you today, all she wanted was a family who wanted the person she was around them, we accepted her warts and all, we didn't control her but offered her choices in her lifestyle, there were consequences, once she actually felt self worth and accepted that there were people out there who liked her for being who she was, she stopped going to London, she dropped her loser friends, it was all her choice, she started hanging out with people who wanted to be with the person, not the piece of meat she was and what she'd give them for a few quid ... she learnt self worth, it wasn't difficult
And I never got paid a dime, all i asked for was her Child benefit to cover food costs, nothing else
To this day Social Services will swear she would have been better off in the home environment working through her issues with her parents, not so, she worked through a hell of a lot more with them by having space, thinking time and distance, plus the safety of being able to remove herself from the home with someone to go other than the streets - although she never did return to her home to live, we found a little place for her to rent and she is very happy there - she now speaks with her mum, dare I say even tries to get on with her, still hates the step dad, but bridges are being built and I'm really proud of the effort she has put in to changing her lifestyle, if Social services had their own way, they would have waited until she'd been hurt seriously either on the streets or at home and only then would they have realised that maybe, just maybe home wasn't the best place for her to be.
Now tell me I'm being bias towards Social rotten stinking services who only ever get involved once the tragedy has happened
Read the whole thing, every link.....How many times hospital doctors reported abuse to Social bloody Services and they still sent her home - then tell me how wonderful they really are
And this is not a one off
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/uk/ ... efault.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/uk/2002/victoria_climbie_inquiry/default.stm)
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They are as much use as a chocolate radiator
:rofl:
What a great turn of phrase.
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(http://http://www.popculturemadness.com/Pics/Tom-Delay.jpg)
2006 Foster Parent of the Year
3 Fostees to his name
God Bless Him
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They can't win if they try. You cite one example of a child who you think should have been taken away. But, if a child does get taken away from their parents because of abuse, suddenly social services are in the shit cos they're "breaking up families." The Daily Mail is onto it, it's a "national scandal," all major parties are making political capital out of it and f* the kids who are just trying to survive, somehow.
And what happens to the kids who are taken away from their parents? They end up dumped in asystem with appaling staff morale and turnover, much more likely to end up homeless or in jail.
Why is this? Cos so many selfish people in this country b* about their taxes and demand tax cuts, completely failing to realise that, actually, these services need MONEY to function. You can't make this money magically appear by forcing staff to do horrendous amounts of overtime and denying them access to a free watercooler at work. You can only get this money through an increase in taxation, adn the sooner someone steps up and acknowledges that the rich MUST start to pay more tax to ensure the safety and security of our state services, the more chance this country has of redeeming itself.
On the whole, social workers try bloody hard to do a bloody hard job! They deserve applause, credit, acknowledgement in terms of their pay and conditions, and a bloody big pat on the back. But no, everyone has their "horror story" mostly gleaned from half-truths half-stories.
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Social workers spend their time ignoring children in real need & jumping all over the ones who aren't
The general attitude in this country is that if a child is over the age of ten years of age, they are able to walk away from an abusive situation and survuive on the streets, so once you hit ten years of age you are fucked, there are kids living all over the streets and social services just shrug
My daughter alone has 3 friends who by the age of 14 had been kicked out of home and social services told them to fend for themselves
Yer they're real troopers
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So its not just americans that want strangers to raise their kids.
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Er no - it's all over the world
These particular girls' parents didn't particularly want anyone to raise their kids I don't think.....they just didn't want to do it themselves, i don't think there was any thought as to who would raise them once they'd gone out the door
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Sorry the government can't raise your kids for you Exhausted. Bloody shame that.
you owe me a new keyboard, fuck i havent laughed that hard in a while.
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Sorry the government can't raise your kids for you Exhausted. Bloody shame that.
you owe me a new keyboard, fuck i havent laughed that hard in a while.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lol: :lol: :lol: :oops: :oops: :P :P ::fuckoff:: ::fuckoff:: ::fuckoff:: ::both:: ::both:: ::both:: ::kma:: ::rocker::
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How much money do you get per kid and what is the maximum number of kids you can get?
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Here in the USA, you can have as many kids as you have beds/cribs.
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No way. Is that really true? How much does the govt shill out for each kid?
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I'm sure it varies state to state, and it's not 'alot' of money, but significantly more (double, triple) what the parent would receive in aid, if the issue was that the parent genuniely couldn't afford to provide their child's basic necessities. Might we call that 'involuntary' neglect vs willful neglect. All based on CPSs interpretation as well. Kids are placed often for this reason, gov't shells out money to the foster they wouldn't have given the parent, which might've kept the family together. That foster child then is 5 times more likely to be injured or killed due to the placement, in Tx. Could it be more fucked up?
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Sorry the government can't raise your kids for you Exhausted. Bloody shame that.
Fuck you TSW, you know damn well that's not the case, when have I ever said I wanted them to raise my kids for me? I am asking them for help! Without the involvement of Social Services, nearly all of the aid in school, projects, therapists, even help for me to try to find out where I'm going wrong, is closed off to me - I want to raise my own kids, but I want to do it properly, which I'm evidently not at the moment, that is why i want Socal Services involved - but you know that aleready, you know the score, I have no idea why you'd attack me openly like this when you know privately how it really is.
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Because he's a dick, Exhausted.
gov't shells out money to the foster they wouldn't have given the parent, which might've kept the family together.
The word here is "incentive". Government does not want to give poor people an incentive to have more kids and get money for doing that. In that light, it makes sense to pay someone else to do the job rather than reward people who have babies and can't afford them..
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The word here is "incentive". Government does not want to give poor people an incentive to have more kids and get money for doing that. In that light, it makes sense to pay someone else to do the job rather than reward people who have babies and can't afford them..
Yeh... makes sense to dole out more money to fosters and put the kid at higher risk of injury/death. :rofl: Splitting up the family unit is not an incentive to prevent future pregnancies. In fact, could cause more, if the person wants a family and CPS keeps yanking their kids.
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Hey, I don't make the rules. I'm just saying what a lot of government agencies are likely to think. Once you understand the absolute contempt they have for the needy (they figure most of what they pay to the birth parents will go to alcohol and drugs), their policies can be explained.
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Hey, I don't make the rules. I'm just saying what a lot of government agencies are likely to think. Once you understand the absolute contempt they have for the needy (they figure most of what they pay to the birth parents will go to alcohol and drugs), their policies can be explained.
Wrong. I understand their contempt, but No cash is paid to parents, ever. If they happen to qualify for food stamps they are given a credit card and there are strict limits on what can be purchased. A pre-set amount added each month to their account, provided they've filed all the ridiculous monthly paperwork involved. Screw up on the paperwork or file it late and you don't have benefits that month. If they qualify for housing subsidy it's paid directly to the landlord. Medical care, the doctor is paid directly from Medicaid. Get the picture? The gov't isn't doling out cash payments, except to foster parents, and certainly aren't paying for alcohol and drug use. Myths regarding welfare abound. While abuse can't be totally controlled, most of the welfare abuse these days is perpetrated by doctors, dentists, pharmaceutical companies, Section 8 slumlords, etc.
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Your government is obviously better educated than ours.....you can have as many kids as you like here and not be expected to work, money is put directly into your bank account for you to spend as you wish
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Your government is obviously better educated than ours.....you can have as many kids as you like here and not be expected to work, money is put directly into your bank account for you to spend as you wish
That's one of the unfortunate side-effects of socialism -- it makes people fuckin lazy.
BTW, exhausted, what kind of help do you really want or expect to get from Social Services in the UK? Over here, many of us would rather have the government just leave us alone -- stay out of our bedrooms, our wallets, etc. Hence the humor in the phrase, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."
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"I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."
Makes me think of New Orleans and Fema when good citizens from all over this country went down there with their boats only to find out the city was sealed and their help refused. Not only do they not help you, they stop other people from helping you when you need help and assume you are an armed criminal druggie piece of shit number.
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BTW, exhausted, what kind of help do you really want or expect to get from Social Services in the UK? Over here, many of us would rather have the government just leave us alone -- stay out of our bedrooms, our wallets, etc. Hence the humor in the phrase, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."
99% of parents would dread social services being in their lives, because once they're in, they don't go away, they can be pretty controlling
But as I said on another thread, without them, you're screwed, you can only get therapy, projects, help with parenting classes, getting the school/police to actually work with you instead of against you, referrals to assessments needed, mental health care and so on, if social services pull their weight with these various things, and in order to do so, you have to have them in your life, pretty grim I know, but it is the better option in the long run
It's the parents who do want them involved who are really worrying and care about their kids, it's the ones who don't care that will keep them at arms length as there seems to be some stigma attached to being under social services, i.e. you must be abusing your child, you can't cope with your child (so what? Not everyone can) and the worst of them all are the ones who don't want social services involved because they know they are going to have to actually parent....it's the main reason for not wanting them around
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Deb, I am currently dealing with a Section 8 slumlord. Know all about that. From my view, I would say that ACS or whatever they are called view parents who's kids have been removed as not being as trustworty as the foster parents. I believe that is their reasoning for paying the foster parents and not the biological parents. Alot of times that is the case. Alot of times it is not. They should make their decisions on a case by case basis. Not that they would always make the right decision.Now, in regards to Medicaid and Section 8 and stuff like that, I do not understand their thinking.
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In regards to how much foster parents get per child, it depends on the age of a child. An infant would need more than a ten year-old. I would estimate $550 for a child and $1000 for infants, toddlers. That would be monthly. I believe my foster mother got around $400 for me when I was with her from 92 to 94.I factored in inflation in my estimates.
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In regards to how much foster parents get per child, it depends on the age of a child. An infant would nee more than a ten year-old. I would estimate $550 for a child and $1000 for infants, toddlers. That would be monthly. I believe my foster mother got around $400 when I was with her from 92 to 94.I factored in inflation in my estimates.
How much of it do you think was actually spent on you?
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Oh, very, very, little. I would estimate around $50 for most of the months. Also, I hardly had food that I liked. Most of the time, we had rice and beans or some nasty ass stew of some sort. Being that stuff like rice and beans can feed alot of people, I would replace my estimate of $50 for most of the months to maybe ten dollars. Actually, I would change that estimate to $0 for most of the months considering that I hardly ate anything that I even remotely liked. I know for damn fucking sure the $400 or whatever was not to eat rice and beans and nasty ass stew almost every day. Actually, I hardly ate the beans, mostly just the rice. Lots of times I went to bed hungry.
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Your foster parents were shit
Don't they get checked up on?
Mine were horrible and only in it for the money but they never starved me or deprived me of al the things I needed
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Well, I lived with a single mom with her two jack-off biological kids and 3 foster kids, about 2, 3, and 4. and later one infant. I told my biological mother, who told some social worker and the social worker told my foster mother but it did not change. Looking back, I should have put up a huge fuck. But the social worker did not even ask me about it. As for social workers visiting, they hardly did. They were supposed to come once a month or whatever but most of the time they had some excuse. Like I got stuck in traffic or I am stuck in court, or I completely forgot to come visit you. Also, and this something that I regret, my foster mom would beat the shit out of her foster kids one of whom was borderline retarded. These foster kids came from totally fucked up backgrounds and to do that is violating them. Of course, even if they did not come from the fucked up backgrounds that they did, it is still violating them.Also, my foster mother later went on to adopt two of the three she abused along with maybe the infant. Not sure about the infant.And when the social worker came over as part of the adoption process, the worker did not talk to the kids or me. She just talked to my foster mother.If you wanna know why I failed to report the abuse, I honestly do not know why. As for the food situation, My foster mother was hispanic and most of the time they had spanish food for dinner, mostly rice and beans. I do like some spanish food but not alot. And of course all that is not relevant, she was getting fucking around $400 a month and could not even guarantee that I would have something to eat that I actually would want to eat. Another thing that pissed me off was that if i had my own money, she would not let me buy food that i like because she said i should eat what the rest of the family eats. And that it is not fair to her biological kids.Of course, it was not fair to me to go to bed fucking hungry.
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Ouch! No - you're right, kids should never feel hungry, at anytime of the day
I hope this woman isn't still a foster parent to this day - did you ever report her after you left?
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Unfortunuately not, really dropped the ball there big time. The only good news is she stopped being a foster parent. The bad news is that she adopted two of the kids she abused and quite possibly a third that she got about five months before I left her apartment to live with my biological mother.Last I heard she was planning to move to Tampa, Florida. That was back in early 99.I could not really tell you why I did not report it. It is hard for meto reconcile with myself about that. I can tell you that I actually visited her after going out of her home. I did so because my mother was drunk a tremendous amount of the time and I guess she was the only option to go to. And I did have friends there that lived in and around the building complex that my foster mother lived in.
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That's sad, is it really that easy to just adopt & foster there? Here its nearly impossible ... there are so many stringent checks, to adopt you cannot be overweight, smoke, be over a certain age, a white couple cannot adopt a black child and the list goes on, there are so many kis out there needing a home, yet those who can't have kids are put through hell to adopt, many give up because the process is so distressing.
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Well, there are requirements, stricter for adoptions I understand, but if they denied 'overweight' people that would ruled out 70% of the poplulation. Other than overweight, I'm guessing the requirements here would be about the same.