Fornits

Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Anonymous on June 18, 2006, 01:44:00 PM

Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 18, 2006, 01:44:00 PM
RandomWalk
Member
Member # 3697

  posted June 18, 2006 09:48 AM                        
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Jane- you are correct. A contract only works if you have something they want- i.e. if you are paying for their education, car, etc. If they don't need you for anything but a roof and food, they will be inclined to take their chances.
Leslie- another suggestion. Stay away from Fornits. You are torturing yourself by posting there and it isn't going to help you.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 18, 2006, 02:09:00 PM
:rofl:  :rofl:

yeah, she did learn her lesson didnt she!
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: OverLordd on June 18, 2006, 02:13:00 PM
My old ex had a contract. I kept offering to get it renegotated for her. But she wouldent let me. Youth tend to sign whatever they are presented without reading it, and without trying to get something for them selfs in it. I'm not a lawyer, and some one that is please correct me if I'm wrong, but these contracts are of dubious legality and not really binding. They are signed under duress and can't really be enforced. ( Ex. "Do this or I will kick you out" What judge would enfoce that on a youth?)

P.S. I finally figgured out how to type my pass word on this key board
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 18, 2006, 02:47:00 PM
Quote
On 2006-06-18 11:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

" :rofl:  :rofl:



yeah, she did learn her lesson didnt she! "


She'll never learn.  I told you:  it's a compulsion, a sickness with her to control everything around her.  Typical program parent control freak who not interested in knowing why her kid isn't doing well, just controlling his every thought and action.

It truly is a sickness.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Deborah on June 18, 2006, 04:45:00 PM
The familial contracts I'm aware of are not legal documents. Parent and child arrive at some agreements. Those agreements are put in contract form and all parties sign it.
It can be useful in terms of remembering what the agreements were....but,
It was fairly useless in my kids situation because dad and step-mom didn't keep their agreements.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: OverLordd on June 18, 2006, 05:02:00 PM
Thank you deborah, your a darling.  :grin:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Deborah on June 18, 2006, 05:15:00 PM
You're welcome sweetie.

One thing I forgot to mention- the contract mention in the first post sounds more like the type in which the parent lays out all the agreements (read 'rules') and makes no consessions.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 20, 2006, 04:32:00 PM
Okay, what is with these program parents, that they can't see their own humanity and flaws. Karen, would you defend your comments below as being 'mature' and 'respectful', that which you claim is lacking here? Your key words are Pretentious and Double-standard.

Re: Fornits. I had this silly notion that one could engage in logical discussion and perhaps share some things from a parent's viewpoint. That isn't the way it works. That forum consists mainly of psychopaths who want to punish parents for how they were treated by their own parents, their employers or teen programs they attended several decades ago. [psychopaths? several decades ago?] There IS no reasoning going on, and turning to that board for advice is masochistic. [only to those who find the truth hard to hear.] The owner of the site, Ginger Warbis, clearly damaged way too many brain cells back in her druggie days. [Druggie days?] Leslie, they are just laughing at your predicament with your son and are gleeful that you are disappointed in the results of his treatment. The things you WON'T find on Fornits- compassion, any knowledge about parenting [this is just laughable coming from a parent who hired her parenting done], rational analysis of programs and respectful dialogue. The good news is that the true nature of the forum is so obvious that one quick look sends anyone with any sense of logic running the other way. [Except Karen, who is obsessed with dropping by regularly to put in an anonymous slam or two.] The posters are there to amuse each other, which really undermines the alleged purpose of exposing abusive or unethical teen programs.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 21, 2006, 12:47:00 AM
Poor Leslie. She posted on ST that her son "graduated" from his SCHOOL, and on his home visit was staying out until 2-3AM and she found POT in his pants. Guess his year-long-stay at this well-chosen facility just didn't work out, huh? Glad this kid is 18.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 21, 2006, 08:39:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-20 21:47:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Poor Leslie. She posted on ST that her son "graduated" from his SCHOOL, and on his home visit was staying out until 2-3AM and she found POT in his pants. Guess his year-long-stay at this well-chosen facility just didn't work out, huh? Glad this kid is 18."


He never "got it."  He must not have "worked the program."  He probably was a "get by" who never "invested in the program."  :roll:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 21, 2006, 09:09:00 AM
RandomWalk
Member
Member # 3697

  posted June 17, 2006 04:04 PM                        
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Lesley- didn't you have a home contract before he came home? The expected chores and the consequences should have been spelled out. Is he using your car? If so, this privilege should be taken away until he does the chores. You have a right to impose a curfew, too. Are you drug testing him? It sounds to me like he is walking all over you, which can only happen if you allow it.  
***************************************

Another parenting gem from Karen, the ulta-controlling uber-parent....
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 21, 2006, 09:14:00 AM
Now Karen's an MD that makes med recommendations by using the parent's internet postings.  How bizarre.  And how very Karen-like to be the answer to everyone's problems.

RandomWalk
Member
Member # 3697

  posted June 09, 2006 06:25 AM                        
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While Paxil is the best drug for some people, it CAN have some very negative side effects, including making you very lethargic. She might be much better off on Lexapro, but it might be a little out of your control for now.....
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 21, 2006, 09:41:00 AM
RandomWalk
Member
Member # 3697

  posted June 02, 2006 07:01 AM                        
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I have had to change my ID on this forum several times due to harrassment by Fornits posters. I started as KareninDallas, then changed to HStreet and now RandomWalk. I have gotten some PMs asking me about it, so I am posting this publicly.
So-it's me, guys, and the reasons for the change had nothing to do with this forum, of course. Be careful....
Karen  

 :nworthy:  :nworthy:  :nworthy:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 21, 2006, 09:52:00 AM
Where does it say she found pot in his pants? Oh, wait. IT doesn't.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 21, 2006, 09:56:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-21 06:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"RandomWalk

Member

Member # 3697



  posted June 17, 2006 04:04 PM                        

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lesley- didn't you have a home contract before he came home? The expected chores and the consequences should have been spelled out. Is he using your car? If so, this privilege should be taken away until he does the chores. You have a right to impose a curfew, too. Are you drug testing him? It sounds to me like he is walking all over you, which can only happen if you allow it.  

***************************************



Another parenting gem from Karen, the ulta-controlling uber-parent...."


Please tell me what she should have said.  This seems reasonable to me.  Actions-consequences- what's so bad about that?
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 21, 2006, 10:05:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-21 06:52:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Where does it say she found pot in his pants? Oh, wait. IT doesn't."


Yeah it does.  I read it on ST.  You must NOT have read it.

Go back and try again.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 21, 2006, 10:07:00 AM
Post it.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 21, 2006, 10:08:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-21 06:56:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-06-21 06:09:00, Anonymous wrote:


"RandomWalk


Member


Member # 3697





  posted June 17, 2006 04:04 PM                        


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Lesley- didn't you have a home contract before he came home? The expected chores and the consequences should have been spelled out. Is he using your car? If so, this privilege should be taken away until he does the chores. You have a right to impose a curfew, too. Are you drug testing him? It sounds to me like he is walking all over you, which can only happen if you allow it.  


***************************************





Another parenting gem from Karen, the ulta-controlling uber-parent...."




Please tell me what she should have said.  This seems reasonable to me.  Actions-consequences- what's so bad about that?"


He's OVER 18.  Leave the poor kid alone already.  It's clear based on his behavior that the program didn't work, the parenting didn't work and the kid likes to smoke dope.  Clearly, smoking dope has the greatest appeal for him.  More than Leslie and more than the program.  When will the controlling end, when he's 28?  38? 48?  WHEN?

It's the control freak PARENTS that are the problem here.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 21, 2006, 10:18:00 AM
Then he can't live there.  Fine.  Smoke all the dope he wants in his own apt!
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 21, 2006, 10:20:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-21 07:07:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Post it."

OK, functionally illiterate, arrogant asswipe.  Just for you...

Quote
Leslie6
Member
Member # 4834

  posted June 18, 2006 01:26 PM                        
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Thanks everyone, for all your replies and suggestions. Regarding Fornits, I just look at it now, and won't respond again. My son should leave on Monday and all of you are right, enjoy him while he is here. There isn't any contract, since he is only here for one week, and he is 18, so I can not force him to do things. Jeannette, I wrote down the name of the book you are reading and the other online group, and will consider going to an Al Anon meeting. Mose, thanks, yes, easier said than done, keeping my cool with him. I found some pot in his pants,[/i] so that didn't make me feel very good. I will write to the grandparents, since my son will be living with them, they should know how he is doing now. However where he will be going to in Oregon, he won't have any of the friends he does here, so I think that will make a big difference, hopefully.

Again, thank you all! Take care, and Happy Father's Day to all of the Fathers today!

Leslie  

What part of "I found some pot in his pants,[/i]" don't you understand???

Maybe you missed this post, too...?

Quote
"I am disappointed in what I see with my son. He seems to be the same old kid."


Well, Leslie (and other programmies), what the fuck did you expect to get back?   A NEW KID?

You deserve exactly what you got for robbing your kid of his birthright, his FREEDOM (of choice, self-determination, speech and everything else that goes with it). Why should you get a reprieve from an "acting out" kid when all you did to address it was force him into a situation to be broken and tamed?  You're lucky he didn't do something DRASTIC to YOU!
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 21, 2006, 10:22:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-21 07:18:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Then he can't live there.  Fine.  Smoke all the dope he wants in his own apt!"


This is EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS.  He told Leslie by words and actions that he never wants to be under her thumb again, so he IS leaving.  Don't you EVER read BEFORE you post?  SHOOT FIRST and ask questions LATER?  Par for the course with you dummies.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 21, 2006, 10:32:00 AM
It's easy- don't go to Mom's with dope in your pants.  If you can't or won't do that, don't visit.  Leslie will have to learn to tolerate it or not see him.  Time for him to pull up his socks and get on his bike.  I think we all agree- but some of you here probably think playing by her rules (if she could possibly enforce them) is not something he should be required to do.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 21, 2006, 10:46:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-21 07:22:00, Anonymous wrote:

 He told Leslie by words and actions that he never wants to be under her thumb again, so he IS leaving.  


Are you saying it's not normal for a kid of that age to feel that way?  That's what is supposed to happen.  That's normal.  Did you ever stop to think that maybe he needs this time and process of breaking the apron strings?  There's a reason why chicks leave the nest.  We're supposed to be preparing these kids to go out and be on their own.  Trying to control them after they've become an adult (at least chronicologically) doesn't do a damn bit of good.  They need to get out there and see the big bad world and how it works.  They're gonna fall.  They're gonna get smacked around by life a bit.  That's OK.  That's part of the normal process of learning.

This is exactly what I'm talking about with people seeing adolescence as something that needs to be tightly restricted and regulated and controlled by the parents.  Teens have been going nuts and doing stupid, dangerous things since the beginning of time.  Believe it or not folks, it's all part of the process of growing up.  Fucking with that process only delays and exacerbates it.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 21, 2006, 11:42:00 AM
The idiotic parents, the 'turkeys' if you will, are the source of all of this. They are the consumers, the ones with the influence, power, decision making, and the checkbooks, but the kids the 'accountable' one  :flame: ) those kids in those programs are having their will crushed moreso than the current joint-in-a-lock if theyre not being driven to suicide or slowly killed outright.

_________________
Quote
Exactly, thats what makes their position so weak and exposed. If I walked into any conversation and I heard that kids where attending schools for over 30 years and not one child has ever benefited, yet the industry is expanding and flourishing I would have to think it was some type of group/cult type of reasoning. I find it amazing, I think that is one reason I stay is to figure out why someone would support such a position or stay with the group speak for so long.

-TheWho
[ This Message was edited by: Nihilanthic on 2006-06-21 08:44 ]
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 22, 2006, 01:48:00 AM
Maybe if someone with money was willing to do it they could put ads in the same magazines that place ads in rich folks magazines.  Sunset magazine would be a good start; they used to carry two or three pages of ads for TBS like CEDU etc.  If they refuse to carry contra-ads we could deluge them with protest mail.  

Might be a good place to start.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 22, 2006, 03:25:00 PM
Im a 21 yo college student. Most people here are low and middle class like the rest of the country.

Thats my point - we have to get some celebrity or congressman or talkshow host or whowever to care about OUR suffering children and teenagers at least as much as those overseas. We have lil abu ghraibs and gitmos all over the USA for our own kids but all the attention is given to one place (respective to each hellhole...) housing FOREIGN ADULTS in Iraq and Cuba, respectively.

Now, I dont know about your opinion on those places, but personally I think that if its good enough for our kids those GROWN UPS should shut up and stop whining, but if its too horrible to do to an adult then why the HELL are we doing it to our own kids?

But, anyway, venting isn't getting anywhere. We're going to have to strategize and dramatify it and somehow give people a reason to care about it - apathy is the worst enemy of the USA right now and its terribly hard to defeat. Most people just dont give a damn, and while thats wrong, if you tell them how bad it is on philosophical, religious, rational, or humanist grounds, they're gonna repeat how much they dont care.

Now, clearly, you CAN make people care about damn near anything if you present it correctly - white trash and other religious numbskulls care more about gay people theyll never meet getting married more than all the REAL problems facing this nation, so I guess it comes down to a media campaign, or the right female celebrity crying about it, or the right crazy person yelling about it.

Well, whatever. The most I could hope to do is get on the daily show or colber report where people will listen and the host doesnt interrupt me (except in good humor...) unlike other cable news and hopefully leave a good impression on them.

But, well, thats not likely, theyve gained more credibility tham the "big three" and have the likes of Michael Brown swinging through... who'd have time for me?  :rofl:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 22, 2006, 05:26:00 PM
Well, I see you have been talking about me again.  All is fine and my son is off to a different state.  He had a great visit with me, and especially with some good friends. No major problems while he is at home.  Someone said above about controlling him and rules and such, but no, I can't do that now, as he is 18.  He will be fine, I am sure that he will make some bad choices, and hopefully learn from it, I do the same.  So, no need to talk about me anymore, ok?!!
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 22, 2006, 05:28:00 PM
Shut up shuttin' up.  :flame:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 22, 2006, 05:41:00 PM
Why do you say that to me? :question:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 22, 2006, 05:43:00 PM
Quote
On 2006-06-22 14:26:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Well, I see you have been talking about me again.  All is fine and my son is off to a different state.  He had a great visit with me, and especially with some good friends. No major problems while he is at home.  Someone said above about controlling him and rules and such, but no, I can't do that now, as he is 18.  He will be fine, I am sure that he will make some bad choices, and hopefully learn from it, I do the same.  So, no need to talk about me anymore, ok?!!"

Why did you give advice to Leslie on ST about how to control her over-18 son then, Karen?  You are a control freak and you will continue to try to control everyone and everything around you.

Quote
So, no need to talk about me anymore, ok?!!


You don't control the dialogue here.  If you don't like reading about yourself, don't read.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 22, 2006, 05:53:00 PM
I am just surprised that you are still talking about me that is all.  Do whatever you want to do and say whatever you want to do.  Give me your private e-mail and we can discuss things further.  He is happy right now, he is on his way to a new life, and to set it all straight, his decision not to live here he told me has nothing to do with me, but the "bad friends" that he doesn't want to see or meet with.  I asked him if he wanted to go to a movie with me one night, and he told me that he wants to, but can't be seen in a movie theater.  He did smoke cig's while he was here, and a little pot, but that is not the end of the world.  So, he is ok, and so am I.  Why do I continue to read your forums, I am interested in what you have to say about me or whatever topic it is.  You all are very interesting, and actually I have learned some things from all of you as well.  If I want to read and post, then I will.   :smile:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 22, 2006, 05:59:00 PM
Dysfuction:  who is "Arnold Schopenhaur"??
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 22, 2006, 06:10:00 PM
I have finally registered, see if you can figure out who I am, or maybe it will say here when I post it, sorry, new to me.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 22, 2006, 07:13:00 PM
Leslie, thought you promised your friends over on Struggling Teens your were not going to post on fornits anymore. Why the promise?
Do you think you wasted your money sending Greg to the facility, after he came home, stayed out until 2-3 AM, and after you found pot in his pants? Doesn't seem like her "got the program" does it?
Your little ST friends are going to know you didn't keep your word.
Now, how will you explain THAT?
Now that you don't have your son stuck in some program, and you don't have the role of "PROGRAM MOM" to fill; what are YOUR PLANS for the future?
Don't I want you to be working or something?"
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 22, 2006, 07:22:00 PM
Freedom of speach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I know My son learned some things, because we talked about them, and he was the one to bring it up, and he excellent grades and graduated from HS.  No, I don't feel I waisted my money.  I have said who I am , now why don't you say who you are??
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 22, 2006, 07:26:00 PM
Sorry, I didn't log in correctly, that is me above.  My son did feel the wilderness was a waste of time, but he did learn a few things about himself and how to take care of himself, so that is good, but he told me that he knew he was way out of control, and understands why I sent him where I did, and he made a really close friend there, and they are going to keep in touch.  In fact when I picked up my son from the TBS, his friend came with us for the rest of the day, and he and my son seemed as close as brothers.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 22, 2006, 07:26:00 PM
So Anonymous, you are you??
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 22, 2006, 07:36:00 PM
Quote
My son did feel the wilderness was a waste of time, but he did learn a few things about himself and how to take care of himself, so that is good, but he told me that he knew he was way out of control, and understands why I sent him where I did, and he made a really close friend there, and they are going to keep in touch.  In fact when I picked up my son from the TBS, his friend came with us for the rest of the day, and he and my son seemed as close as brothers."


Shared trauma bonds people, be it with another victim or to the person giving it to you. Neither "Learning something about yourself" while putting up with a traumatic experience, nor capture bonding justifies a god damn thing.

I also somehow doubt a friendship forged from living in a TBS is especially healthy or encourageable, at all. Sure, if they can find a reasonable dynamic in the "Real World" thats great, but two programmies running around acting like they're still in a program is hardly healthy.

Maybe I'll let you in on why... maybe not. Dunno if I can trust you wtih that yet. You know how to reach me if you care to. Just dont expect me to sugarcoat things for your sake.

And no, I also have no interest in attacking you or "parents of struggling teens" past desiring for them to hold themselves accountable, and if they refuse to, to not have the ability to make decisions irresponsibly that will harm another person, including their own children.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 23, 2006, 12:26:00 AM
Leslie, it is none of your business who I am.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Troll Control on June 23, 2006, 08:36:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-22 14:59:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Dysfuction:  who is "Arnold Schopenhaur"??"


He was a German philosopher in the early to mid 1800's well noted for his humanist approach.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 23, 2006, 04:29:00 PM
Thank you Disfunction!

and for the anonymous, why won't you tell me who you are since you seem to know all about me?
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 23, 2006, 04:37:00 PM
Anonymous, since you haven't told me who you are, I don't think it is any of your business what I am doing in my life.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 23, 2006, 04:38:00 PM
Hey everyone, it is my birthday today!  45 years old.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 23, 2006, 04:59:00 PM
Happy Birthday! easy on the pills!
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 23, 2006, 05:01:00 PM
Who are you, and what do you mean, easy on the pills?
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 23, 2006, 05:49:00 PM
Quote
On 2006-06-23 13:38:00, Curious & Willing to Listen wrote:

"Hey everyone, it is my birthday today!  45 years old."


So what do you know about that quadragenarian troll propositioning me a few weeks ago?

 :rofl: Im sure it was not you, but maybe you should know someone was trying to insinuate things about you.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 23, 2006, 11:11:00 PM
Leslie why not be honest? Why do you post on Struggling Teens that you will never post here on fornits again? What's that all about? Random Walk is going to be all upset with you.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 24, 2006, 03:34:00 PM
I just really don't care anymore.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 24, 2006, 05:33:00 PM
Quote
On 2006-06-24 12:34:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I just really don't care anymore."


YOURE ANONYMOUS.

WHO ARE YOU?

LOL?!?!??!
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 25, 2006, 03:17:00 PM
Sorry about that, I thought I was logged in but I guess I wasn't.  It was me who said that I just don't care anymore.  If I want to read and educate myself, and respond on both sides, then I will.  Thanks for the warning Nihilanthic! :smile:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 25, 2006, 03:36:00 PM
Nihilanthic, actually, what are you talking about above??  (to me)
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 25, 2006, 03:52:00 PM
Some troll claiming to be in her 40s claimed to also want to meet up with me in a motel or some nonsense.

Prolly someone trying to troll you in a round-about way.

Also, please learn how to log in or stop deleting your cookies. Anon replies get annoying, especially extremely vague ones.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 25, 2006, 03:54:00 PM
Thanks for letting me know, and yes, I will make sure that I am logged on first before I respond to anyone. :smile:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 25, 2006, 03:56:00 PM
Leslie, you had no problem logging on at Struggling Teens all the time; what's the problem here?
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 25, 2006, 03:59:00 PM
What the %$#@#$  who are you??????????????????????
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 25, 2006, 04:00:00 PM
Nihilanthic, who do you think that is above??  Thanks
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 25, 2006, 04:34:00 PM
We call those 'trolls'.

(http://http://img312.imageshack.us/img312/9602/whatthehell4wb.jpg)

They come from deep under the sea, and come up just to bother people, stifle real discussion, and 'stir shit up' so people fight and yell while they laugh at our misfortunes.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 25, 2006, 04:39:00 PM
eeewwww no wonder I don't like trolls.  Fugly!

 :tup:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 25, 2006, 04:43:00 PM
Nihilanthic I have wondered if the above could have been written by "Karen", as I read some (actually a lot) of her posts in "brat camp".  I hope you don't think I am a troll, because I am not.  I am trying to learn some things here.  Ok?!
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 25, 2006, 06:07:00 PM
I dont think youre a troll, or a deep-sea isopod.

If I had to make judgement Id say you're full of mixed feelings and an un-namned program's bullshit and trying to get your bearings about the reality behind whats actually going on, and not just the stuff they want you to see.

So, have fun. Just dont get caught up in bullshit trolling, which is where people do whatever they can to get a reaction out of you (like pushing the obvious buttons, or trying to find some that aren't so obvious) and try to look at things from an external, unpassionate observor's POV instead of from your own eyes.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 25, 2006, 06:17:00 PM
Thank you Nihilanthic, I appreciate your being honest with me, and actually I was planning on doing exactly what you have said above.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 25, 2006, 06:23:00 PM
Nihilanthic, just curious, how old are you??  Only answer if you want to, non of my business really.  Or send me a private e-mail.  Thanks
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 25, 2006, 09:47:00 PM
Lesle, Karen is also: Hstreet, Random Walk. Some people use more than one name.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 25, 2006, 09:48:00 PM
But, you already knew that didn't you, Leslie. why, look at you changing names!
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 26, 2006, 06:10:00 PM
Only one, always, so that all of you know who I am, that is all.  I didn't want to be an anonymous user anymore.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 26, 2006, 08:05:00 PM
everyone figured that out already, few weeks ago, you did sign the true confessions "Leslie."
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 26, 2006, 08:47:00 PM
Im free, white, and 21, and its no secret :wave:

Im apparently considered precocious to some here, and to others a rebel without a clue.

Make up your own mind, its fornits afterall.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on June 28, 2006, 04:35:00 PM
Nihilanthic, I am just trying to defend myself, on here, do you think I should just stop, and forget about it all and what everyone is doing to me??
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 28, 2006, 05:16:00 PM
If you're only here to defend yourself and justify/rationalize what you've done for your own sake, then youre getting exactly what you deserve :rofl:

And no, thats not an insult, nor is it anything personal. Think about it for a while and you might see what I was trying to convey about changing your perspective.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 28, 2006, 06:55:00 PM
What's to defend, Leslie?
You have admitted the only thing "postive" that came out of Greg being in that program was he "graduated from high school." He is still using drugs, and still engaging in his gambling addiction, and you admit you are still afraid of him.  What changed?  He could have graduated from High School with the proper supervision from BOTH his parents.
Or, he could have moved with his grandparents a year ago, which is where he is now.
Seems like you have some changing to do with your thinking to do, now.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 29, 2006, 08:47:00 PM
defend my position, and tell everyone what you are saying is totally wrong.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 29, 2006, 10:29:00 PM
WHAT ???
Think perhaps your wellbutrinXL isn't working.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 29, 2006, 10:57:00 PM
Quote
On 2006-06-29 17:47:00, Anonymous wrote:

"defend my position, and tell everyone what you are saying is totally wrong."


did someone forget to log in again?  :???:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 30, 2006, 02:22:00 AM
RandomWalk
Member
Member # 3697

  posted June 18, 2006 12:50 PM                        
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wasn't focusing on the fact that he is only with you for a week. Clearly, he knows he can take advantage of you as much as he wants. BUT- agree that you should find positive ways to relate to him and make the week as enjoyable as possible.

Re: Fornits. I had this silly notion that one could engage in logical discussion and perhaps share some things from a parent's viewpoint. That isn't the way it works. That forum consists mainly of psychopaths who want to punish parents for how they were treated by their own parents, their employers or teen programs they attended several decades ago. There IS no reasoning going on, and turning to that board for advice is masochistic. The owner of the site, Ginger Warbis, clearly damaged way too many brain cells back in her druggie days. Leslie, they are just laughing at your predicament with your son and are gleeful that you are disappointed in the results of his treatment. The things you WON'T find on Fornits- compassion, any knowledge about parenting, rational analysis of programs and respectful dialogue. The good news is that the true nature of the forum is so obvious that one quick look sends anyone with any sense of logic running the other way. The posters are there to amuse each other, which really undermines the alleged purpose of exposing abusive or unethical teen programs.
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Posts: 552 | From: USA | Registered: Jun 2003  |  Logged: 208.190.39.6 |
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 30, 2006, 02:28:00 AM
RandomWalk
Member
Member # 3697

  posted June 29, 2006 01:36 PM                        
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Write to the owner of the site, see if that helps."

Surely you jest, Mose. Write to the mentally-challenged Ginger? I tried that after they posted my email address and AIM name all over their site, along with total filth. Anyone can register whatever user name they want. There is no accountability on that site. I just want to make sure the sane folks know it isn't me posting on Fornits. (P.S. Random Walk is a math/business school term- it doesn't refer to my exercise routine!  )
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posts: 554 | From: USA | Registered: Jun 2003  |  Logged: 208.190.39.6 |
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 30, 2006, 02:45:00 AM
why bother logging in, you will just break down what I say anyway.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 30, 2006, 05:03:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-29 23:22:00, Anonymous wrote:

"RandomWalk

Member

Member # 3697



  posted June 18, 2006 12:50 PM                        

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wasn't focusing on the fact that he is only with you for a week. Clearly, he knows he can take advantage of you as much as he wants. BUT- agree that you should find positive ways to relate to him and make the week as enjoyable as possible.



Re: Fornits. I had this silly notion that one could engage in logical discussion and perhaps share some things from a parent's viewpoint. That isn't the way it works. That forum consists mainly of psychopaths who want to punish parents for how they were treated by their own parents, their employers or teen programs they attended several decades ago. There IS no reasoning going on, and turning to that board for advice is masochistic. The owner of the site, Ginger Warbis, clearly damaged way too many brain cells back in her druggie days. Leslie, they are just laughing at your predicament with your son and are gleeful that you are disappointed in the results of his treatment. The things you WON'T find on Fornits- compassion, any knowledge about parenting, rational analysis of programs and respectful dialogue. The good news is that the true nature of the forum is so obvious that one quick look sends anyone with any sense of logic running the other way. The posters are there to amuse each other, which really undermines the alleged purpose of exposing abusive or unethical teen programs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Posts: 552 | From: USA | Registered: Jun 2003  |  Logged: 208.190.39.6 |   "


Bold to show how self absorbed and demented struggling turkeys is (WE DONT CARE ABOUT PARENTS WHY WONT YOU GET THAT YET) and italics for "LOL".

When I posted on there they told me its not about holding programs accountable, its to make parents feel better.

Well, NO FUCKING SHIT? that someone whose hung out on a forum that does nothing but coddle her and make her feel better and rationalize EVERYTHING shes ever done (because there its only about the parents!) is going to feel like we're attacking her when we bring up the facts and criticism without waffley rationalizations for the parents sake, a confirmation bias for program's purported efficitiveness and safety, and the parental sugarcoating and fanatical avoidance of any responsibility or blame ever falling on the parents.

We're not ATTACKING you, we just dont care about making sure you feel as if you did everything right, the program is right, nothing is your fault, and its all the kids fault and the program will make it all feel better butifitwontjustusetheexitplanbecausehe'llmanipualteyou.

ITS NOT ABOUT YOU, ITS NOT PARENT CENTRIC HERE. GROW UP! YOURE FOURTY-FIVE, NOT FIFTEEN, ACT LIKE IT! ::bangin::

You have most assuredly made mistakes and could have done better and have room for improvement now, becuase you're a human being, and no human being is perfect. Got it?

Now, once you learn to accept that, start coming to grips with the fact that you're not a model parent, and its not all about you, its about your CHILD and not your "desired results of his treatment". That statement made me want to retch. That is disgusting. Hes not just a human being, hes YOUR SON, YOUR BLOOD, YOUR PROGENY, NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO ALTER WITH 'TREATMENT' TO MAKE HIM BE THE WAY YOU WANT HIM TO BE! Im not saying that you think of him that way but the poster who made that statement certainly made the impression thats what he or she felt. But Ill drop that subject before I get sick and have to clean off my keyboard.

Regardless, programs are the answer for... the parents, not children, they still are not proven to work and at least piecewise are demonstrated to be ineffective and abusive, respective to what segment of them you're looking at, and have gotten by on excuses, misinformation, empty promises and ignorance for 30 years and still have yet to cough up any substantive proof. Shapiro's bullshit only showed it was ineffective, abusive, and people who had gone through ASR were some 6000% more likely to commit suicide than if they hadn't gone though it, but a nice waffley white-washer like thewho says that becuase shapiro thinks it had potential to be effective it is now. :rofl: I find it funny someone with a physics and mathematics derived nickname would be so clearly biased and self-absorbed.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 30, 2006, 05:10:00 AM
Quote
On 2006-06-29 23:45:00, Anonymous wrote:

"why bother logging in, you will just break down what I say anyway."


If you're so worried about it being "broken down" then why are you saying it?  ::boycott::
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 30, 2006, 07:15:00 PM
I am grown up and so much older than you!  You have no idea where I am coming from and what I have gone through, what my son has gone through, and what my son and I have gone through with his Father and his fucking Russian step Mom.  I do understand where you are coming from, I do, but since you are only 21 years old, there is no way you can understand where I am coming from and what my son is feeling right now.  He is doing well right now and that is what I want for him, the very best, and when you have kids someday, then you will understand, perhaps you won't have to go through the mess that my son and I had to go through, perhaps you will have a perfect marriage and a wonderful son or daughter and I hope that you do.  Just understand that nothing in life is perfect and you have to work at all of it all the time.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 30, 2006, 07:19:00 PM
Now, Leslie...why all this cussing about the RUSSIAN WIFE? You have been divorced about 15 years now. Get the fuck (your favorite word) over it!

You don't use the "F" word over on ST, now do you?
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on June 30, 2006, 07:21:00 PM
No one really cares what YOU have gone through. Only concerned about YOU locking your kid up in some program, and trying to justify that.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on June 30, 2006, 08:59:00 PM
Quote
On 2006-06-30 16:15:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I am grown up and so much older than you!  You have no idea where I am coming from and what I have gone through, what my son has gone through, and what my son and I have gone through with his Father and his fucking Russian step Mom.  I do understand where you are coming from, I do, but since you are only 21 years old, there is no way you can understand where I am coming from and what my son is feeling right now.  He is doing well right now and that is what I want for him, the very best, and when you have kids someday, then you will understand, perhaps you won't have to go through the mess that my son and I had to go through, perhaps you will have a perfect marriage and a wonderful son or daughter and I hope that you do.  Just understand that nothing in life is perfect and you have to work at all of it all the time.  

"


We don't care what you went through!!! You're 45, look elsewhere to sing a swan song! Your son and a lot of people here have been through a LOT MORE THAN YOU and you're the mature adult here.

You surely cant expect us to care more about what an adult went through with being jilted by her marriage and her own personal shit more than a child thrown into a mindfuck warehouse that didnt help, now can you?

As I already said, ST is a place to go get molly coddled and told what you want to hear. Here, you get a reality check and everyone here is a result of what those programs REALLY do to people. Stop bitching for attention, and act your fucking age.

Everyone here has been through a LOT of shit one way or another. A lot are program survivors - and those your age went through the likes of STRAIGHT from the 80s. Those were closed by court order, and when I tried to bring that up the admins at ST banned me for it. Same for TSW talking about his personal experience working for an abusive program.

These programs are nothing but services to take away your kids, your worries, and blow sunshine up your ass. Well, guess what? I dont really care to blow sunshine up your ass  :lol:  but Ill gladly tell you the TRUTH. Putting that kid in a program was most likely what you did to make yourself feel better and at ease, and now you're trying to justify what you did to your son by throwing him in some TBS you wont even name because of worried YOU felt.

Get real. You're 45, which isn't even middle aged these days, you got a lot of life ahead of you. You shouldn't spend it trying to rationalize throwing your kid in an ineffective, abusive little mindfucking warehouse to a forum of survivors and people trying to close them down becuase of your own personal shit.

You want help? Admit you did something wrong, and get a real therapist, hell I think if you just manned (er, womaned?) up to it here youd get cut some slack. But as long as you try to make it about you, you're gonna get whats coming to you.

"all about me" parents are the reason there are a lot of kids who have been fucked up and grow up trying to stop this abuse from happening, dont be like them.

And if you want to talk personal suffering, I'll gladly tell you all about my bullshit on YIM, but I wont use it to justify me doing something to someone else to make myself feel better.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 01, 2006, 03:18:00 PM
"YIM"??????
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 01, 2006, 08:55:00 PM
Quote
On 2006-06-30 16:15:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I am grown up and so much older than you!  You have no idea where I am coming from and what I have gone through, what my son has gone through, and what my son and I have gone through with his Father and his fucking Russian step Mom.  I do understand where you are coming from, I do, but since you are only 21 years old, there is no way you can understand where I am coming from and what my son is feeling right now.  He is doing well right now and that is what I want for him, the very best, and when you have kids someday, then you will understand, perhaps you won't have to go through the mess that my son and I had to go through, perhaps you will have a perfect marriage and a wonderful son or daughter and I hope that you do.  Just understand that nothing in life is perfect and you have to work at all of it all the time.  

"


Get over it, sister.

I'm 39, I do have a kid, and of course I'm not perfect, she's not perfect, my husband is not perfect, and our lives aren't perfect.

Everybody and everything in the world is not perfect.  Got it.  BTDT.

You sound from this post like your kid is currently in a behavior mod facility, so everything else I'm going to say is based on that assumption:

Unless your child is severely retarded or otherwise severely mentally damaged to the point of needing to be institutionalized, or is mentally ill enough to need to be committed even if he was an adult, or is in a responsible (100 days or less) drug rehab program, or was court ordered after a criminal conviction, you have no damned business sticking your kid in a facility.

Even then, behavior modification facilities are for no one.  They're a bad solution looking for a problem.

For every other problem, community based outpatient care has the best outcomes.

For drug rehab, community based care also has the best outcome percentages, but inpatient rehab works for some people---if it's more than 100 days, though, you're being sold a pile of crap.

If you put your kid in a behavior mod facility, then you screwed up by the numbers no matter who you are.

That's the cold, hard truth.

It's not a personal attack, it's just the truth of the best available research with the best percentages for the best results.

Contending otherwise is as out of sync with reality as joining the flat earth society.

Contending otherwise is understandable, since the behavioral mod. facilities talk a good game and, like faith healers, they can do a bang up job of making you think they've helped you.

Understandable, but factually incorrect.

I get that it sucks bigtime to screw up by the numbers in such a major part of care for your child.

Regardless of how much it would suck to admit that, you screwed up.

It doesn't make you a bad person, but you did make a bad choice.

Regardless of what you may believe, a behavior mod facility has not helped your son.  They may have presented a convincing illusion, to you, of having helped your son.  Your son may appear more compliant, or may be better at hiding his problems from you.  Your son may have matured some while he was there as part of the natural teenage growth process---maturation that would have happpened no matter where your kid was, and would have happened to a greater extent.

Most program parents at this point would say, "You don't know that."  Yes, I do.  I've looked at the available research for the various kinds of problems these facilities claim to serve.  I am trained enough to interpret that research and know what's sound research and what the various reports mean.  If your child did in fact improve more than some other kid(s) somewhere, it was pure chance--not the Program.  More likely, he improved *less* than he would have elsewhere and, like many other program parents, you are now seeing a fleeting illusion of improvement that conceals the same problems plus permanent psychological damage caused by the program.

Yes, I do know that.  The numbers don't lie.  

Again, even though kids come out of programs along a broad spectrum of outcomes, where the kid is on that spectrum is a statistical roll of the dice, not a benefit of the Program.

It's just like when the FDA studies give some patients a placebo, after the study period of time, the patients come out along a broad spectrum of outcomes---even though the placebo hasn't done a damn thing for them.

The only way you know if a new drug works better than a placebo, or better than an existing drug on the market, is to look at the overall statistics.

By the overall statistics, behavior mod facilities work equal to or worse than nothing at all.  They do no good, and frequently do harm.

Community based care, on the other hand, works.  You have kids coming out of that care along a broad range of outcomes, like anything else.  However, we know it works because the overall statistics of those outcomes show real improvement.

You screwed up.

Be a good enough parent to admit your mistake, to stop doing something that doesn't work, to determine if your son has grown up enough on his own or still needs some help.  If so, be responsible enough to switch to a kind of care that actually works.

Right now, you're being the equivalent of the Christian Science parent who's got the preacher praying over their kid in the hospital from a car wreck instead of letting a doctor give the kid a transfusion.

The preacher may look to you like he's helping your kid.  Your kid may feel good about being prayed over, or you may feel comforted by the prayers.  Your kid may even pull through and get well--by blind chance and the body's healing processes.  But his chances sure would be better if you would eject the preacher from the kid's room and let the doc give junior a transfusion.

Julie
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on July 01, 2006, 10:05:00 PM
Julie, in your opinion, you think I "screwed up", in my opinion, and everyone else around me, I did not screw up.  You have your opinion and I have mine, as well as my son has his opinion, and he says I did not "screw up" as you put it above.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on July 01, 2006, 10:22:00 PM
That opinion is utterly irrelevant given the fact that: :roll: the OBJECTIVE determination of mine given those facts? Complete and total failure on the part of ST as anything but a shrill greek chorus trying to inject their nonsense into you, complete and total failure of the "program", and you have failed to clean up the mess the "TBS" has caused, and the mess you created following ST's advice.

Or, vernacular terms, a giant clusterfuck of your sons upbringing and your relationship with him. Sure, nobody wants to admit they were wrong or that YOU were wrong, when they have vested interst in being 'right' (though not necessarily correct) but what are the facts demonstrating here?

Your son is no better, except he made a friend while in a psycho prison you put him in, missed out on the best years of his life and the social and personal development that should have gone along with it, and youre stil terrified of him and listening to that damn gaggle of gooks trying to make themselves feel better under Lon's wing.

WTF do you want me to do, tell you that you did everything you could? That it was the best thing to do? That you did everything right and didnt mess up? Are you REALLY more worried about making yourself feel better than everything else going on right now?

Leslie, all that shit the program said was just to make you buy into it, its not true, and the reality of that is abundantly clear. Its not about you or the program or struggling turkeys anymore, its about your son, and you can't just throw him away somewhere anymore. You AND him have to grow up now and you're hurting yourself almost as much as him listening to all that toughlove bullshit.[ This Message was edited by: Nihilanthic on 2006-07-01 19:23 ]
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 01, 2006, 10:43:00 PM
Leslie, IF everything if just FINE, and sending Greg to a program was the CORRECT and GOOD THING TO DO---then WHY ARE YOU HERE still talking about it?
Why aren't you just going on with your life, helping Greg to get settled into college, and just NOT TALKING ABOUT IT ANYMORE?

MOST NORMAL PARENTS don't sit around on the internet a few weeks after their son graduates from high school---DISCUSSING their son's drug problems, gambling addiction, raving about the "bitch, Russian step-mother, who won't allow the kid inside her house," slamming the EX-husband you haven't been married to for about 15 years, OR discussing thier own psychological problems--down to listing their daily meds!

MOST NORMAL PARENTS may announce that their kid graduated, and is headed off to college. That's about it.

YOU choose to have your son escorted to a wilderness program. YOU choose to blow the kid's college fund on a treatment program.

Well, guess what?
The behavior modification treatment didn't change shit. Your son is still drugging and gambling. YOU posted you are still afraid of his abusive behavior.
The kid is living with his paternal grandparents--so the EX must not be all that bad, if his parents allow this boy to live with them.
YOU SEEM TO BE THE PROBLEM.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on July 01, 2006, 11:07:00 PM
Well, thanks for your response!

My son and I are not astranged, he calls me, and he asked for help on some summer job applications, and I did help him.  We also chatted online yesterday.  

He was not in a "psycho prison" as you put it, and I have posted elsewhere on this site about that. You mention that he has "missed out on the best years of his life and the social" life, but he really didn't,(he went to a local high school and participated in activities there and made guy and girl friends at the HS as well) as if he had been here, he wasn't in high school to have those years.

I am not terrified of him, as you said.  I am not even thinking about making myself better as you also said in your post, I am fine,(I will do for myself what I need to do and my son will do what he needs to do and what he wants to do). I can only hope that he will make good decisions, and my son is doing fine, and he is where he wants to be.  He told me that he wants to live where he is, that he can't live here at our home, because of the people that he had to avoid here while he was here for a week.  No, I am totally not perfect, and never will be, nobody is perfect.  I know my son will make some good choices, and some bad choices, but he will have to learn from those bad choices.   I am not throwing my son away somewhere.  I am not like his Father or other parents who feel that when their kids reach the age of 18, they are on their own.  I will always be there for my son, if he needs me, all he has to do is ask.  I will not tell him what to do anymore, just suggest things if he asks.  

As far as my son still smoking, and/or smoking pot, he threw out what he had before he left, and I have no idea if he is smoking pot where he is, because he doesn't have any friends there (he will make friends easily there or at college), and his cousins who are in their college years do not smoke pot.  

All for now.

Leslie
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 01, 2006, 11:17:00 PM
You aren't working Leslie.
Why don't you move somewhere that Gregg would be safe?
YOU have no idea who does or does not smoke pot.
No one knows what other people do, or don't do.

I want you to grow up, and stop criticizing this boy's father publicly. It only makes people respect this father. THE FATHER didn't send this boy to a program: you did.  You posted that the boy's father only found out after-the-fact.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on July 02, 2006, 12:33:00 AM
yes, he found out after my son was gone, and he told me"finally you did something right for our son". (If he felt this way, why didn't he say something a long time ago, or do something about it, but no, he did not)  I am not bashing the Father, although he deserves it, what Father won't stand up to his Wife of 8 or 9 years and say, this is my son, and he needs to be here in our house, but he didn't and moved my son out of his house 2 years ago, did it hurt my son, of course it did.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 02, 2006, 01:00:00 AM
pot is good. that is all.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on July 02, 2006, 01:56:00 AM
you all use the "F" word, why can't I??
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Curious & Willing to on July 02, 2006, 01:59:00 AM
you said, "pot is good, that is all".  Ok, so are you trying to say something here?
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 02, 2006, 11:33:00 PM
Leslie, why can't you STFU?
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 02, 2006, 11:45:00 PM
Quote
On 2006-07-01 22:59:00, Curious & Willing to Listen wrote:

"you said, "pot is good, that is all".  Ok, so are you trying to say something here?  "


Yeah... I am saying, pot is good.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 03, 2006, 03:05:00 PM
STFU??  I will bye and never to post on here again.  Good luck to everyone.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 03, 2006, 04:56:00 PM
English?
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 03, 2006, 05:24:00 PM
All your program are belong to us.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 03, 2006, 07:25:00 PM
yes, English for the last time, STFU, ok, I get it Struggling Teens, F##$@# You.  ok nevermind, bye
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 03, 2006, 07:25:00 PM
yes, English for the last time, STFU, ok, I get it Struggling Teens, F##$@# You.  ok nevermind, bye
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Anonymous on July 03, 2006, 08:40:00 PM
What the hell was all that? :silly:  :lol:
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on July 03, 2006, 10:49:00 PM
I think it was Les's half-hearted attempt to 'understand' us that was foiled when she realized she wasn't right about anything.

At the very least she didnt pull the "you dont understand" type bullshit before she ragequit.
Title: more from struggling turkeys (Karen in Dallas wrote this)
Post by: Nihilanthic on July 03, 2006, 11:26:00 PM
To be blunt?

I think she wants attention.