Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on January 22, 2006, 12:42:00 PM
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..a brown reason to live.
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..made some of TBFITW.
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power to ya
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Thank ye kindly, sir, but I'm crankin' out TBFITW just fine on my own!
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..dropped a pile of the TBFITW (the best Fertilizer in the world)
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i just shit a perfect s, so maybe the steelerswill win today
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:nworthy:
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:smokin:
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Let's bet- the loser eats a steaming platter of TBSITW.
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is there anyway we could quantify a bet online? like if the steelers lose someone has to write a poem?
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As long as the poem has something to do with TBFITW.
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here i sit,
brokenhearted,
tried to fertilize,
but only farted.
so now nothing will grow,
which i am ok to see,
because what i reeally wanted, was to take a pee.
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Hot on the left,
Cold on the right
Shit don't go uphill
and payday's Friday night.
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my dick is big,
my dick is laarge,
it takes up three spaces,
in my garage!
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..a brown reason to live & just pinched off a fine loaf of TBFITW. :tup:
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& I just flushed down a delicious bowlful of TBSITW.
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I'm shiiting in honor of the Steelers, baby!
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..and I just got done taking TBDITW. How are the Steeler's doin'?
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..a stiff upper lip because I'm half-dead...
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a desire to shit profusely in celebration of the steelers scoring so much!
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I predict that this thread will steadily gain popularity due to the fact that just about everyone enjoys the satisfaction derived from taking a good dump.
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I agree -- in fact, I just finished taking one a minute ago.. :tup:
Well, back to watching the Steelers stomp the living SHIT outta the Broncos! :lol:
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On 2006-01-22 14:14:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I predict that this thread will steadily gain popularity due to the fact that just about everyone enjoys the satisfaction derived from taking a good dump."
Get a scat flick.
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Hmm...I don't know if I'm ready to make that leap yet, but thanks for the advice.
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On 2006-01-22 14:27:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Hmm...I don't know if I'm ready to make that leap yet, but thanks for the advice."
Your most welcome, my shit-loving friend! :wave:
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I sure do LOVE to empty my bowells!
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I find that certain foods ripen the smell.
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On 2006-01-22 14:34:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I find that certain foods ripen the smell. "
Such as??
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Black beans; legumes of any kind...
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I just dropped mr. brown off at the pool. :lol:
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It feels damned good to shit. Constipation is for the anal-retentive.
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You've got that right...just blew out a fine batch of TBFITW. :tup:
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Miller Newton touched my junk liberally. He strapped me in to his Straightmobile and he
couldn't keep his offensive hands off of me. He was performing many red flag touches. I
couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. I told Miller Newton the city would not approve
of a millionaire touching an underage kid for free. Can you believe it? Miller Newton did all this. He picked me off the street, strapped my arms and legs down in the Straightmobile's passenger seat, and just wouldn't stop fondling my cock'n'balls.
They definately were red flag touches. The goddamn referee he had in the back seat kept on
raising up this red flag every time he touched my junk but did "Dr." Newton care? NO WAY! He
just kept on doing it. I couldn't believe what the fuck was going on, indeed. I pleaded with
Miller Newton but to no avail. I told him the city would not approve of such a wealthy man
touching an underage kid like me (at the time I was 13) without at least compensating me for
the trauma and the use of my body as his own personal plaything.
This got to him, worrying about his image. he continued to fondle me, all the while ignoring
the referee's red flags. Then he drove the Straightmobile to my house and ejected the seat I was in! It was amazing. But surprisingly, after I woke up the next morning, my bank account had $150k in it!!! Can you believe it?????????????????????????
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On 2006-01-23 12:16:00, Anonymous wrote:
"It feels damned good to shit. Constipation is for the anal-retentive.
Yup! I just 'chopped a log' and it felt fuckin' GREAT! :smokin:
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Hell YES it feels good to shit! :exclaim:
I just got done shaking loose one HELL of a brown bomber into the crapper!! :tup:
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I have to make a deposit ASAP! :lol:
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Go, man, go!! :tup:
Cook up a meat loaf in the porcelain saucepan!! :lol:
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Drop the Cosby kids off in the pool my nigga!!
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Will do, will do! No drippy doo-doo over here! ::noway::
I'll be droppin' TBSITW! ::nod::
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It won't be long now before I get my ass into the throne-room & do the Royal Squat! :smokin:
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..some barbarians at the gate right about now.. :wave:
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Getting ready to take a steamer in about a minute! :wave:
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I just squatted down & splattered some liquid shit all over a blow-up portrait of Mel Riddile's FACE...which I'll laminate and carry at the next protest! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Just launched a nice long butt shuttle...it felt fuckin' GREAT!! :lol:
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I choked a darkie this morning, oh hell yes!! :smokin:
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I just filled up the bowl with TBSITW. :wave:
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I feel like I'm about to go squeeze a coily..this will no doubt be one of the best shits that I've ever taken! :tup:
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I wanna knock your fucking teeth down your throat and watch you choke a horrible death :wave:
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Thanks for posting, but unfortunately for YOU, you will probably never have the opportunity to do anything like that. Plus, you're most likely ALL TALK anyway!! ::both::
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I'm gonna roll a nut log for that fuckface anon who said that they want to knock someone's teeth down their throat. :rofl: :rofl:
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Yeah, right on!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :tup:
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Scat party, anyone???? yummmmmmmm
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Bake a brownie for me, baby! :silly: :cool: :lol:
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I'm ready to hatch a new boss, my niggaz!!! :tup:
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Cool, man! :rofl:
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Time to spray & wipe....kinda sloppy today.. ::noway::
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After a DELICIOUS SACK of ten CHEESBURGERS from White Castle, it's like I'm shitting *paste* :wave:
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::bigsmilebounce::
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Pinch a loaf.
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I'm squirting some "Liquid Satan" all over Dean's face right now as I'm typing this! Dean happens to LOVE tbsitw -- MINE! :rofl:
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I'm drinking my morning coffee, hoping that I can conduct a movement sometime soon... :tup:
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Things are still moving kinda slow today...trying to poke a turtle's head out. wish me luck.
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I shot out about a 1/2 gallon of chocolate gravey this morning. It was extremely acidic and burned my flesh at the bung hole area. Ouch!
Wondering if Newton still enjoys that w/biscuits? Just wondering.
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I'm sure that he does.
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There's a big brown man knocking on the back door. :smile:
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On 2006-02-08 05:44:00, Anonymous wrote:
"There's a big brown man knocking on the back door. :smile: "
PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT.
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No, I'd rather let him slide peacefully into the porcelain saucepan. You oughta consider doing something about that anger thing... :grin:
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I've got a turtle's head pokin' out that could choke a donkey!
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You bastard! :lol:
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Ummm, that's his name, Austin Powers...don't wear it out.....
-Dr. Evil
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(http://http://hollywoodcostumesandparty.com/austinpowers/evilpinkyb.jpg)
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Just downloaded some brownware. :lol:
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Gonna go & test the plumbing with some of TBSITW!
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Time to go & commit myself to the dumpatorium. :rofl:
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2,600,000 shits! :grin: :lol:
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Gonna make a core dump real soon..
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Gonna bake a russet for ya, fucker. :lol:
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"Gimme the beat boys, and free my soul..I wanna get lost in your toilet bowl & flushed away.." :rofl:
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http://ratemypoo.com (http://ratemypoo.com)
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I just dropped a brown trout. :lol:
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(http://http://www.pushupstairs.com/images/emoticon/neptune/Animated/Intimate/private003.gif)
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straight,a fucking big-assed turd that(for some folks)just wont flush.
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..time to go & sink a link! :smokin:
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I'm feeling creative this morning...think I'll go make a grunt sculpture! :lol:
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I'm thinking I'll 'hit paydirt' any minute now!
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had some spicy food so am headed to the crapper and i think i will be holding on to the handicap rails :flame: :flame: :flame: :flame: :flame:
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Did it come out ok? :question:
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Anyone ever had any 'episodes' after eating Taco Bell? I have & it sucked! :skull:
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Q)What did the mathematician do about his constipated dog?
A)He put it down on paper and worked it out with a pencil.
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LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!! (http://http://ratemypoo.com) :lol:
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On 2006-03-11 21:14:00, Anonymous wrote:
Q)What did the mathematician do about his constipated dog?
A)He put it down on paper and worked it out with a pencil.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!
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The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.
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This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
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On 2006-03-14 08:54:00, Anonymous wrote:
"This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet."
ouch!
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You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
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On 2006-03-15 14:24:00, Anonymous wrote:
"You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down."
My cousin once referred to this as "crowning" or "touching cotton" (perhaps silk in your case, but we're broke-ass druggies).
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I took my first shit for today just now...better late than never. :smokin:
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i just took a steamer and it was made up of all of the clams i ate the evening before. it was like my ass was just spitting out little pastaneck clams at an alarming rate. i call it machine gun clam turd ass.
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That sounds like it was a little messy.
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Curled some pipe just now...it felt damn good!
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At the dog park this weekend and my doggie was grunting trying to drop a big load. He had eaten lots of grass (not TBPITW) to assist in the consistency of the poop. He was struggling and struggling, so as a good doggie daddy, I went over with a plastic bag and assisted him. Grabbed the head of the poop and pulled it gently out. Dropped the poop in the bag and he took off and humped the shit out of a smaller dog he felt so good. Gotta love that. Makes a doggies daddy proud!
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:wave:
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I just took the kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out...ouch.
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...just loaded the crapper..ahhh....
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I have strep throat and am on antibiotics. Ever notice when you take these things, your shit smells like the pill and personally, I shit brown water out my ass. Splattered the hell out of the back of the toilet today. Not the best way to start out the day.......cleaning poop off the wall. :cry2:
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is strep going around? i think we have it too.
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Good lord, this time the liquid came at work. I was too embarassed to clean it up. Thankfully we have janitoral staff for that kind of stuff.
makes me glad I got an education.
Hey, is this the kind of stuff that we need immigrants to do as the dems are talking about cause american wont?
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Hey, is this the kind of stuff that we need immigrants to do as the dems are talking about cause american wont?
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On 2006-04-05 06:26:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I have strep throat and am on antibiotics. Ever notice when you take these things, your shit smells like the pill and personally, I shit brown water out my ass. Splattered the hell out of the back of the toilet today. Not the best way to start out the day.......cleaning poop off the wall. :cry2: "
more fallout from antibiotics. Liquud,liquid, liquid. Looks like some kind of brown gravy amall chunks of darker "material". I made it to the CVS bathroom this time. Didn't want to "splatter" at work anymore. One of the "help" conmplained about the mess and how difficult it was once the poo dried out. Sorry CVS, your "hired" help is next.
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on antibiotic shit water.... :scared:
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On 2006-04-01 17:26:00, Rivers of Shit wrote:
"I just took the kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out...ouch.
"
I either pluck or shave the hair around my asshole. :cry2:
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i have a number of friends who have remarked on those angry little hairs around uranus that create kling ons, and they say waxing is the way to go. i cannot condone removing one hair from my body as this would almost certainly lead to metrosexuality and than on to direct gayness. i love my caveman inherited hair and wear it proudly when i drink beer, moon people, have sex, and behave atrociously in general.
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On 2006-04-07 08:11:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-01 17:26:00, Rivers of Shit wrote:
"I just took the kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out...ouch.
"
I either pluck or shave the hair around my asshole. :cry2: "
yeah, well I'm a chick, so hairy asshole is not the yummies to a male (or female) tounge.
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[ This Message was edited by: funster on 2006-04-07 12:48 ]
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(http://http://images2.bangbros.com/assparade/shoots/ap2244/t1/2.jpg)
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Aww, funster...you took down your request for a pic. :lol:
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no ass hair visable there. i just found out how to edit things. boy could i have stopped a lot of dumb posts. if this is your ass, would love to have you over for barbecue.
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Sadly no, gravity has taken it's toll. Although hubby tells me it ain't too far off, but then again, he has to live with me so he'd BETTER be nice. :silly:
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you are still invited for barbecue if you promise to wear the same thing and strike the same pose against the fence. if i saw that ass in straight springfield it would have been worth being set back for grabbing it in the medication line.
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it'll be on semi-proud display this weekend. I'll literally be tanning my hide.
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out yourself so we can publicly comment on your ass. where will you be displaying this tanned piece of hide?
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nope.
Hey, ya know what's fun? Posting outrageous shit and then going over into Who's Online and watching all the furious fingers flying passing PMs all abuzz. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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and i cant even believe that an ass like that takes shits. i imagine an ass like that would shit little balloons twisted around in oregami fashion. certainly something like that would never fart, at the most it would poof. what a great turdcutter!
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On 2006-04-07 13:22:00, Anonymous wrote:
"and i cant even believe that an ass like that takes shits. i imagine an ass like that would shit little balloons twisted around in oregami fashion. certainly something like that would never fart, at the most it would poof. what a great turdcutter!"
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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okay....now i am feeling lovey-dovey
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lovey dovey or horny? :lol:
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sounds like tomato or tomato all over again.
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this seems like the appropriate place to discuss this. never mind designer vaginas, the new big thing in porn and socialite swinging is anal bleaching!!!you can now bleach the little brown ring and make it blond, or red haired. amazing. so forget plucking a few hairs, you can now have a strawberry colored anus ring if you want. it is not that expensive. the piercings stand out and look much better against a blond ring (except when shitting) and i would hate to be in a cvs and have to ruin a perfectly good piece of anal jewelry over a silly little thing like strep throat.
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I think I saw something about that on VH-1 a while back. Creepy.
PMs still going strong I see. ::bwahaha2::
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Hi my name is -----------, and i am a fornitacater
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On 2006-04-07 13:52:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Hi my name is -----------, and i am a fornitacater"
You should seek treatment for that! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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SIBS (http://http://fornits.com/SIBS/) can help you with that.
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This thread is full of shit. ::bwahaha2::
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well, the shit finally got hard. I constipated as hell now. No morel liquid shit for me. Hot damn.
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So you're saying it's the lesser of 2 evils I guess. I'm about to conduct a movement myself..I know it will be a load off my mind. Keep on shittin' :smokin:
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After taking a dump I looked in the toilet & the turds spelled out the words "Miller Newton" ..isn't that amazing??
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Oh my GOD, a fire shit just came out during lunch. I was in the bathroom at work and it was all I could do to keep from screaming. I swear (and I sure did under my breath) that it was pure stomach bile and acid. The flesh around the hole is burnt and really really sore. I have no clue what I ate that would bring on this fire shit. :flame: :flame: :flame: :flame: :flame: :cry2: :cry2: :cry2: :cry2: :cry2: :cry2:
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Perhaps an ANALysis would be in order. :lol:
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(http://http://216.218.248.205/datastore/cf/3a/b/cf3a06537f53a268b1a973a7523c7832.jpg)
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Hopefully the next cup of coffee will do the trick & I'll be able to squeeze out a loaf like that guy did! :tup:
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Took a really good shit this morning. It's good to be back on track!
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is it bigger than a baby's arm?
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is it bigger than a baby's arm? :wave: :wave: :em:
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Today's shit was rather disappointing. It was the size of a golf ball. :???:
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gave birth to a triple-jointed wraparound toilet python
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Nice work! :nworthy: :nworthy: :nworthy: :lol:
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I snaked a fair-sized coil into the bowl yesterday morning and it formed the shape of the letter 'P'. Much better than the "golf ball" I dropped a few days ago. :smokin:
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I let loose a few turds that made the initials, "V.M.N."
What could this mean??? :eek:
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Good one. Reminds me of a dream I had recently. I dreamt that Miller Newton was laying with his head on a chopping block and I was the lucky executioner! I swung the axe down with all my might and cut his head clean off in one swing! His head was rolling around cussing and turning red like a ripe tomato. :grin:
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::bwahaha2:: ::bwahaha2:: ::hehehmm:: ::hehehmm:: :rofl: :rofl:
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Good one. Reminds me of a dream I had recently. I dreamt that Miller Newton was laying with his head on a chopping block and I was the lucky executioner! I swung the axe down with all my might and cut his head clean off in one swing! His head was rolling around cussing and turning red like a ripe tomato. ::bwahaha2:: ::bwahaha2:: ::hehehmm:: ::hehehmm:: :rofl: :rofl:
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Dropped a few healthy brown logs just now & I feel about 10 pounds lighter! :tup:
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Took a nice dump and thought of you... :lol:
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Just trying to keep this shit near the top.. (http://http://ic3.deviantart.com/images/large/icon/emoticons/Take_a_shit_emoticon.gif)
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Take a shit today!
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Too late.
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squat for health!!
http://www.relfe.com/toilet_seat_constipation.html (http://www.relfe.com/toilet_seat_constipation.html)
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I'm gonna tell you about a seriously enlightening
excremeditation session instead. I'd been blasted on high-powered
joyjackers for days, and the works were seriously backed up, I mean
I had "nothing to doo" for days. The first day of my recovery from
my binge left me feeling like I had been sodomized by the contents
of a cement mixer and given a superglue enema. Running around the
house frantically, smoking, slamming down cups of java, hell,
nothing helped, after about twenty minutes of grunts and occasional
vaporous wafts of methane, only a few pebbles appeared in the bottom
of the ol' porcelain bowl. At this point, I was feeling that
particular discomfort that comes from having live ordinance stuck in
the bomb bay, with the doors gaping wide open. With heroic effort,
I reached up and deimpacted the little marble-like, hardened piece of
excrement that seemed to be providing the major blockage. Even this
proved unsatisfactory, however, so once again I departed the shrine
and consecrated my stomach with espresso. Smoking a cigarette, I
returned to the throne room determined to expel the offending
blockage, or die trying....I was no longer going to suffer through
the gestation of what was surely to be the Uberscheiss. Eventually,
a vision came to me out of a tasteless scene in a major Hollywood
movie. My grunts of effort and frustration were turning to squeals
of agony, when I felt IT MOVE. I knew I had won, and that knowledge
alone was enough to sustain me through what would still prove to be
a strenuous endeavor. In an explosive torrent not unlike the launch
of a Trident nuclear missile headed for some true believer Straightling's
house, I ejected the tumorlike fecal warhead into the bowl, feeling
a lot like Little Anal Annie.
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:rofl: :rofl: little anal annie ::bwahaha::
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:rofl: :rofl: little anal annie ::bwahaha::
:rofl: ::bwahaha:: :nworthy:
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(http://http://www.p2p-zone.com/underground/images/smilies/kloguck.gif)(http://http://www.p2p-zone.com/underground/images/smilies/kloguck.gif)(http://http://www.p2p-zone.com/underground/images/smilies/kloguck.gif)
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squat for health!!
http://www.relfe.com/toilet_seat_constipation.html (http://www.relfe.com/toilet_seat_constipation.html)
Thank you!
(http://http://www.relfe.com/Images/squatting.gif)
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I'm gonna tell you about a seriously enlightening
excremeditation session instead. I'd been blasted on high-powered
joyjackers for days, and the works were seriously backed up, I mean
I had "nothing to doo" for days. The first day of my recovery from
my binge left me feeling like I had been sodomized by the contents
of a cement mixer and given a superglue enema. Running around the
house frantically, smoking, slamming down cups of java, hell,
nothing helped, after about twenty minutes of grunts and occasional
vaporous wafts of methane, only a few pebbles appeared in the bottom
of the ol' porcelain bowl. At this point, I was feeling that
particular discomfort that comes from having live ordinance stuck in
the bomb bay, with the doors gaping wide open. With heroic effort,
I reached up and deimpacted the little marble-like, hardened piece of
excrement that seemed to be providing the major blockage. Even this
proved unsatisfactory, however, so once again I departed the shrine
and consecrated my stomach with espresso. Smoking a cigarette, I
returned to the throne room determined to expel the offending
blockage, or die trying....I was no longer going to suffer through
the gestation of what was surely to be the Uberscheiss. Eventually,
a vision came to me out of a tasteless scene in a major Hollywood
movie. My grunts of effort and frustration were turning to squeals
of agony, when I felt IT MOVE. I knew I had won, and that knowledge
alone was enough to sustain me through what would still prove to be
a strenuous endeavor. In an explosive torrent not unlike the launch
of a Trident nuclear missile headed for some true believer Straightling's
house, I ejected the tumorlike fecal warhead into the bowl, feeling
a lot like Little Anal Annie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgbaFUeMbjI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgbaFUeMbjI)
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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(http://http://www.reproducts.de/museum/2003/1202_pipikaka/hanky.jpg)
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I've been more solid these days, finally. Only a few wipes and I'm clean as a whistle!!
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Time to empty the backfield... ::bwahaha::
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Took a righteous shit today; it was awesome!
Just thought I'd share....