Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on December 19, 2005, 04:22:00 PM
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If the kids that stood at the doors had guns like at prison camps. I think a lot of us would have chose to run to our death rather than stay in the blue chairs.
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I remember a guy who quit trying for the doors and began to run headlong into the walls, sometimes with a chair but mostly with his own body weight.
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The fear of getting my head slammed on the floor was enough to keep me from trying it. Saw many a bloody kid from just that.
Hell, my dad nailed our fucking windows shut. Glad there was never a fire.
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There was one time when "group was in a bad place" (excuse me, I need to go vomit now after actually typing that) and a shitload of kids all ran for the doors at once. A few made it into the parking lot and surrounding scrub but all were brought back. I remember one kid who would just run head-on into the wall next to the double doors that led outside. He did it for the "attention" though (according to staff) :roll:
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I remember seeing people run for the doors a couple times. Me, I just had no idea where to go from there. I would try to recall the way out, but had no clue. I even asked once how to get out if there was a fire, but was yelled at and put on suicide watch, for planning an escape. Well, duh, I was trying to plan an escape but my question had validity, HOW would we get out if there were a fire?
So I just began to resolve to the fact there was no getting out, even if there were an emergency. I knew I would die there, and had accepted that. My life was worthless anyhow, they made sure I believed that.
People with guns at the doors? Well, hmmm.. If that were so, then someone would have known to intervene and we wouldn't have had to run.
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If we had guns at the doors, at least we would have an option to be there. At a prison camp running = death. At least we would have had an option to chose to be in Straight or die. To make the choice of suicide could not happen on 1st phase. Once I told them that maybe I could get the light bulb down out of the socket while they sleep, so I could cut myself with it. They took the light bulb out of the room. Dod any of you try and stay up after everyone went to sleep so you could try and run? Run in your shirt and panties? I tried to stay awake till everyone went to sleep. I could not do it. I was so sleep deprived that when my head hit that pillow I was out.