Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Ridge Creek School / Hidden Lake Academy => Topic started by: Anonymous on December 01, 2005, 10:14:00 AM
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These are just my personal observations, take them any way that you want. I freely admit that I yanked a lot of chains, there was a very specific reason for it, and here it is.
Let?s step back and take a look at a few things here. Here are a few questions that I think everyone needs to look at.
1. What is the purpose of this board? Is it supposed to be a place to gather actionable intelligence, and share personal experiences of being at HLA, or is it just a place to bash the school and feed trolls with personal attacks?
My opinion is that it?s purpose is to be a source of actionable intelligence. Unfortunately the board seems to be going in the opposite direction. Let?s look at the whole Aften thread, here was a student that had the inside track with some staff, is it possible that she may have had some solid intelligence, perhaps not fully actionable, but solid background. How was she treated, how quickly did I turn to nothing but personal attacks going both ways?
2. How are people perceived on the board?
There are many answers to this one, as many as there are people who read this board. I think that there are a lot of highly intelligent and passionate people on this board. People who want to make things happen and to achieve their personal agenda. The problem that I see is that people get blinded by their passion and end up in pissing contests with trolls. It?s scary to see how quickly people will jump to personal attacks and to lose focus. Missing opportunities to cultivate sources and lose out on very valuable intelligence. I?ll admit that I pulled a lot of chains, to see what would happen, I?m saddened to see the results. Think back to being in Reals, how would you react when you got instigated by the counselors. I would hazard a guess that it would look similar to what has been posted on the board. It?s sad to see one line that has so much to say and is well thought out and presented intelligently and logically, only to be lost by the next sentence which is a personal attack.
3. What tactics are being used?
From my perspective, the same ineffective ones that were used at the school. When group A uses ineffective tactic to influence group B, then group B uses the same tactics back on group A, to counter act group A, how effective is it? It?s not, it creates a stalemate. One side or the other has to change tactics in order to move forward. A historical example of this is Mutual Assured Destruction ( MAD) from the cold war. Both NATO and the Warsaw Pact had enough weapons to destroy the world several times over. It was a classic stalemate, neither side had an advantage with the weapons at hand. How did NATO gain the upper hand? They gained it by changing tactics from a military standpoint to an economic one. They spent the Warsaw Pact to death. ( I know this is an over simplified example of the cold war, but I figured that my 300 page War College paper would be over kill on this point). The point is that it seems that people are using the same ?instigate- react-instigate? tactics that were used at the school. Which is probably what they would like, keep everyone outside going around in the vicious cycle. It is so sad to see people who are very capable of making a difference and creating change, get caught in the trap of ?using their own arguments against them?.
Anyone who knows me would probably tell you that I am very focused and deliberate in my approach to things, although at time it may seem very unorthodox. It is due to the nature of my training, long before I was at HLA. Like all of you , I too have an agenda, what it is not really of any consequence to most people. Those that know me, already know it. I?ll pass on a few concepts to you all, do what you will with them. Adopt, modify, or ignore them if you wish.
How to engage.
1. If the Enemy advances, retreat
2. If the enemy halts, harass him
3. If the enemy avoids battle, attack him
4 If the enemy retreats, follow him
How to act
1. Be polite to people
2. Be fair in all dealings
3. Return everything borrowed
4. Pay for everything damaged
5. Do not bully people
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In a perfect world....
From past experience I can tell you that there is significantly less 'reaction' when people like Aften share their personal experience and refrain from minimizing or refuting other's experiences.
It's a admirable goal, but when those who were abused are directly or indirectly told they're lying and 'deserved what they got', unfortunately historically survivors have not 'retreated'.
I'm guessing that survivors will continue to battle 'the enemy' until they feel heard and respected. Seems to be pretty typical human behavior. To defend self against real or perceived attacks.
And perhaps it's uglier because they are no longer subject to the confines of Reals and can say what they want without fear of consequences. If that's the case, it will fade with time- their time. Part of the healing process.
The feeding of trolls is unfortunate. It bogs down the threads, distracting from meaningful discussion. Unfortunately, history has also shown that a rational plea will not end it.
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[ This Message was edited by: Jarhead6 on 2006-01-25 11:04 ]
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***I know that it is hard to let go of things, but sometimes one has to do ust that. I am not saying forget about it, ignore it, get over it or any of that crap. It's how you deal with it, and move forward in your own life that makes the difference. You can let it rule your life and live in the past with it and let it eat at you like a cancer, or you can use it as a touch stone to help guide you and help you make descisions in your life.
And I have faith that all the suvivors will come to that- in their own time.
It appears that some come out of programs swinging- fully aware of what has happened to them.
Others choose to 'put it behind them', or attempt to. I notice these are the ones who can't tolerate others speaking of anything that strikes of abuse or negativity. It reminds them that all was not well, when they are desperately trying to put their attention elsewhere.
But it doesn't go away. And with maturity comes a new perspective of what happened to them. For some it's five, ten years before they realize the wrong and they will very likely feel some justified anger at that time. If for no other reason than having two+ years of their lives taken.
I tend to give them a lot of slack. I personally have never seen anyone recover from a real or perceived traumatic experience without venting some anger. To a large extent it is very useful to do so, provided it doesn't go on for years becoming a rut.
Also, from direct and indirect experience they will transfer or misdirect that anger at anyone who they perceive to abuse or misuse their authority, or who is an ally with the 'enemy'. Perhaps this is largely a delayed reaction- necessary because their developmental phase of teen rebellion was interrupted by being incarcerated in a zero-tolerance environment.
It is literally crazy making to live 24/7 in an environment where your every thought and action is put under a microscope- scrutinized for flaws- where the assumption is that you are a bad person.
When will these programs learn that positive regard with reasonable boundaries works much better. And I'd bet it wouldn't take two years to help those kids who need it, find some peace. From my vantage point, that's what they should be learning- how to ignore/deal with totally irrational people- beginning with their parents.
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I couldnt agree more with the last post. I know for me I came out swinging wanting to tear the place apart, whereas now while Id like to see it shut down or dramatically overhauled for what it does to children. Now however I feel being angry does nothing to the people Im angry at about how I was treated while there, or the family that claimed to love me and sent there for no reason. In reality none of those people care about me being angry, they never cared hence why they behaved the way they did. Instead I remember the fact that eventually they will get there comeupance and every secret will be revealed. If as some people have requested Len decides to come on this site, I'll tear into him. Same with Witherspoon, the drug counselors, or some of my peer group counselors. I'd also love to get my family on here and make them sift through the horror stories so they can realize where it was they sent me.
That being said though, it does little good to dwell on it. Instead I would rather focus on bettering myself and ensuring that no one else has to endure the same kind of torment that we did. I think that is best done through honest dialouge, not threats of violence much like Overlord and Jarhead seemed to employ. This is pointless and stupid and will accomplish nothing. Rather acknowleding the truth about what went on there, even if it has changed in recent years and admission by Len that wrongs were committed against the children he was supposed to be helping.
Pretending things didnt happen or mincing words accomplishes nothing.
Jarhead I have to say I'm a little shocked to see such a post coming from you. You seem to have been one of the major ones propogating the problem. I dont say this to attack you, rather to understand your change of heart better.
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[ This Message was edited by: Jarhead6 on 2006-01-25 11:04 ]
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Okay I see where youre coming from, but at the same time I didnt see anyone tell you to go kill yourself. It also appeared you were getting more and more frustrated at increasingly difficult questions that you seemed to either be unable or unwilling to answer.
It also appeared that you were the one who decided to take it to that personal level. I hate to borrow Roberts catch phrase, but it was "typical staff behavior". Start picking on a student and then get mad when he throws it back in your face.
Given your response, would you be willing to share why you yourself came on this site?
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There's the man.
Ive got to go with him on this Jar-Jar.
Who are you to talk about not getting personal and whatnot when you yourself reach for the lowest common denominator.