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Messages - susan

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46
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: old fart barker
« on: June 18, 2009, 09:52:28 AM »
wow i really was sick when i had to eat those sandwiches that had no value whats so ever, i remember walking in one of those  boxes they called an office, and the staff was not eating what we ate. they could never have lived on those sandwiches like we were expected to, sick, i was such a skinny kid already and lost so much weight from that place, i have pictures somewhere i will look for them i looked  bad, like  bones. So sad when i was so active with sports, one thing to be skinny but to be under nourished, and back then i was a vegetarian,so all i would eat was that peanut butter crap. i bet had i been there longer i would have been put in a hospital for malnutrition,( I should have seen a doctor for as thin as i was looking at those pictures now) how sad how very very sad, not to mention i no longer would ever see my swim teams, nor my diving team, i was a high diver too looking forward to maybe  joining the Olympics was my dream back then, whether i was good enough or not i had a dream to go to the Olympics, not your typical druggie dream huh???? So sad when i think of what if , what if i did get to go to the Olympics??? Instead of being in a hard chair that may have caused damage as far as i am concerned. What if??? wow, I think all adults involving themselves in any program such as this should think about what they will be into years later, as now it is my turn to heal again, and healing  this way will make it even better i hope, in other words no my tears, unless it is for laughter to which i so love. No thanks to the seed, as i do not remember any laughter at all in that place, but i do remember Mida, the one they wanted me scared of, after all mida was bigger meaner and started over and over so she was their baddest of all, ( she was also in and out of jail so she was suppose to be scary how lame is that)( imagine trying to use an inmate to scare someone that's what they were doing to me with mida, so they thought)  and i so love mida for being and remaining sane through out those horrible days, all the times they started her over or myself they never broke our souls, because she taught me how to go to a special place in our minds with her, and i still to this day go to that place and i smile, and i thank God Mida was there , but i wished she had never had to go to that place, its a selfish feeling i feel guilty  knowing i was glad she was there,  i know i would not have made it other wise.I feel guilty at times because if felt like i was selfish looking forward to seeing her daily, its a terrible thing to want your friends freedom , but at same time i wanted her with me, she protected my soul, she kept me from wanting to hurt myself, and she kept me from losing my mind. I am sorry i do not know where she is today, sure wish i had a way just to know she is ok, because all she needed was someone like me  who loved her, cared about her, talk to her, so what if she was wild, you would be wild too if you were in a cage and not allowed to leave.You would be wild if you had a kid that you so loved and they took from you,and then daily used against you to yell at you scream vulgar things at you for what, if you want to help someone its not torture trust me,you will only create a monster if you do, mida was not a monster like you all  made her out to be. For one she was beautiful in looks and in voice, she was Spanish so you all really raged bad on her, i hated that, i think it was first time i saw with eyes prejudice shit going on. A concentration camp for boys and girls, as we were indeed children and held against our will, i had bruises and all kinds of crap happen to me, if i came home from school with bruises i had from that place some shit would have happened, but no one was allowed to see my bruises so who would ever believe me, now that i was a druggie in writing to them??? Peace to all, I so am in tears, but for all the tears  that fall, think of all the tears that still are falling  today from other kids like us in places like this, it still goes on. Its not a proper way to make money. Peace again.

47
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: Class Action Filing
« on: June 18, 2009, 09:05:29 AM »
They should indeed have to pay back anyone they took from, whether it be a child suffering or just the greedy checks they so stole from so many parties.  tell me where i sign, and may i use my blood. Peace.

48
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: Class Action Filing
« on: June 18, 2009, 09:03:01 AM »
What should have been done so long ago thank you for helping, and anything at all let me know,  and all stand up for selves, no more being afraid and hiding who and how one feels, we are human damn it , not criminals, not children of the seed, we are souls, not bodies sitting on a hard chair, and we deserve to help others that  are still going through this crap, so please all stand up, and sign, and be part of something that we all have control over now, that's our justice, and our peace. our Humanity. I always knew their was a God, and i knew it was not FART BARKER.

49
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: libby and her
« on: June 18, 2009, 08:54:04 AM »
I do not think  my brother is relentless at all I think he is hitting it right on the hammer.I wish all the parents that were still living, would stand up listen to what their children went through, as it has taken so much, and i swear to all it really messed me up, i just didn't let it take my soul, i know because of that place i have always been afraid don't know like something was going to happen at any moment and i  just never knew when) , even though i put a wall up  making me look like i can do anything, its amazing that after doing that place over 2 times before splitting, that i still looked up to my friend Mida Garcia i met at the seed,( Mida also ran from that place  so many times, so many times before i even got there) not the staff not the idiots that ran it  none of them, just one girl that was also being punished, yet she was in on a court order, i was not, goes to show you how bad brain washing is, a 13 year girl had to hold all her thoughts in for so long to stay sane, FUCK ALL  who say do not use bad language that's all i heard for so long in that place. Little bit about Mida, they put me next to her to scare me, she was my soul keeper you idiots, she did not scare me one bit, she was a  wonderful soul who watched out over me, but at same time could not let others know she was being true.When i say true, rather then someone spitting in you face and cursing  and treating you like shit, she held my hand and squeezed it, and said when it gets so bad you just squeeze my hand till we both can no longer feel anything,yea that made me feel special all right, rather then like shit they put me through. She will never know what that met to me. In all way's she to this day is my  angel, she helped me to survive that place, because without her i really do not know what i would have ended up like.( and mida was a bad girl hummm, least you all thought she was) My old comers both started over, goes to show you that that place was not at all working, so who are all you kidding, as far as libby, she is arts right hand and shellys and she so knew what she was doing, all knew just as any criminal knew what they were doing, for some reason i feel like that guest is libby, libby i tried calling to ask questions to, not to be mean nor rage, just wanted to ask why, why did all those kids have to suffer, she hung up, now if you say she  really did not mean no harm, then why is she still harming by not talking to someone that was only 13 years old   back them. ( I am 49 now )you talk about her being so great look at the puppies eyes and what the hec does anyone need to use those things around a dogs nose, i am all for animals so do not even test me with that shit,that's another form of control is all that is. Libby if that guest is you complaining about language, i advise you to get the balls i had to grow at thirteen, because what you are still doing by not responding shows how Guilty you are and always will be, no matter what scam you choose to participate in.  I love the  brunch too, I may just well be at that brunch that day so be prepared to answer questions that day, not you not anyone will even know who i am till the moment when you all think its time to stand miss libby up, and give her another free check, blood money, that was donated funded or just given to you to help some kid out, and instead goes  to her life style , it is a crime to allow anyone to be kidnapped,( you allowed this) and to be forced to do things you certainly would not do if you had your free will, so by showing you do not except calls, and hiding from a  13 year old girl from the past that you  ruined and took so much from back in the 70's when i should have been in school, and with my friends, not court appointed druggies as you all were clearly and still are, i am so sure you art and shelly are on some medication, something i truthfully  do not believe in is drugs of any kind, not the ones the doctors get you messed up on and  not the ones you shot in your arms, you did what kind of drugs, and how many kids did you affect, how many did go back, or better yet started to learn and do drugs because of the crap you all put  them through???? As far as art, my mother would never have put us in there if she knew  he was a  drunk/ comedian, why because my dad  was a drunk and my mothers father was a drunk, so who you kidding  i do not see a drunk/ comedian in any way responsible enough to look over or teach any kid, not even one, he had no business near anyone's kids, neither did a drug user like yourself, ever hear of relapses, well you can not say you never had one, you are no different then the  rapest who said he did not know that the girl was 13, idiots all you are, its amazing you live and have the balls to even live in ft, lauderdale. Guess you will now feel like me, you can now sit and wonder and be afraid like i was, i live not far from you, you were asked to talk to me, i have a right to know why, why did you look into those crying tearful faces and laugh when someone was telling you the truth, that they never did drugs???? easy question i think, so tell world why, and if you don't then Guilty as i said in the beginning. Peace to all that had to go through that crap back then, i was a victim and i am going to see what rights i have to bring this to a courts attention, too many places are still involved with the same ways to only mentally harm someones soul. I am asking anyone at all to contact me and  say anything you wish about this situation, as i have not been able to really  talk to anyone about it, and when my brother who i am sure that told me about this sight knows i have covered up and went on in life, i can only say it has helped getting some of this off my mind, as it really is painful, i have a grandson, and i so will make sure he never steps foot like my daughter into a place of hell like that, i will teach him love honesty and to love self first in life, i do not need ever to have a drunk / comedian/ nor druggie to ever help out my family, I wish that all parents would step up and tell their kids  whether they knew that art barker was a criminal or not, because if they knew that their kids were involved in such torture then they too were a part of a piss ass operation to mooch off of inocent children, i say children because that's is what i was a child, how very sad, that anyone went through this at any age. Peace.

50
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: ..Kenny N ,..Your The Best
« on: June 16, 2009, 10:31:18 AM »
I hated all the rap leaders, they were all there for themselves,( not to mention what the hec did a  clean kid like myself have in common with hookers and drug users????) i bet most of them were scared like that debbie de bueno chick, she was in there doing drugs the whole freaking time ,did you all know that????, idiots  talking about how great someone was, when while that greatness was going on i should have been listening to my math teacher or gym teacher or my swim coach not some used up drug infected assholes that were there on a free ride to stay out of jail. Lets be real here, if they all had gone into that place on own  maybe that place would have helped others, but i so do not believe to this day that a drug user /addict/ court ordered person had any right being around a 13 year old girl. sick all you are, just sick.

51
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: Some insight(s)
« on: June 16, 2009, 09:06:33 AM »
I just want to know one thing you were what in your late 20's you say John???? You seemed way older back then, here's what i want to know, how is a 20 something man court ordered an addict like yourself, in any way of comparing to a young 13 year old  girl that was dragged in  hog tied against her will, and had never even seen drugs let alone know what they looked liked, how do you compare that to what you did to get put in there to what i did not do to be in that place????? Not to be rude but  you were( and still are will always be) an addict i was a clean young bright happy kid, on 2 swim teams, and a diving team, till i was dragged in there, how do you compare that??? It was not okay to put you near any child, what you learned in there was to hide and be something you are not is all, you enjoyed having a way to be nasty and all to others, you were court ordered, what ever in life gives you the right to teach anyone???? You had no schooling to teach anyone back then, but you did take many out of school so they could not learn.You fucked up many kids in school, after i ran from that place for good i was then maybe 14, did not stay long i was smart i ran, i could not go to school in fear of what others thought of me. You all should be striped like you all did to so many in there, i wish there was a way you  would have to start over and over in that place with me being the teacher now, i have still never done drugs, so screw all you so called convicts who got a fucking break by kidnapping young kids, assholes all you are, every last one of you, i hope this shit haunts you and art and libby and shelly forever, even after you all drop dead. By the way you also conned that place, is why you left, you learned to get away with so much in that place it became you is all, you thought you were the seed, you did not obey the rules that art gave you, art first then what???? you did not follow the leader, just like i did not follow you is all. Peace to all, i have much to say,i was there in the beginning when all this madness started, i was a good kid( used as bait )to get my sister and brother in that place is all, and they too never got high, so fuck all you morons when it comes to honesty.I was already honest and i already loved myself along with life, that place taught me to smoke cigarettes is all, pathetic and way against any laws, to give cigarettes to a minor,people should go after you idiots  just for that alone.  To this day i can not believe any parent would send a young girl or any child, to a place filled with convicts  addicts and so on, way not cool to put those type next to any child, sad, and cruel is all that place was. Another money hungry fool who thought no one would give a shit is all, well i give a shit, and i am now going to see just what i can do to stop more places like this, see i blocked you morons from my life, i had to stay away from my family for many long years because i was so afraid of being dragged back to that place, thing is you never got this soul messed up, i grew fast and strong and i did not get hooked on nothing in life except for life itself,you took away many years from a kid that would have been  maybe in the olympics ia all. fools, enjoy your freedom , as one day it too will be taken from you.  I sure wish someone could give me information about Mida Garcia, she was a wonderful court ordered gal that watched over me, i was a mere 13 when i was dragged into that place, i only trusted her there, yea she was a bad ass to you guys, but she also had a daughter and was hurting not seeing her daughter you all so daily threatened her with, guess what when i split, she came to visit me before she left that place on her own she ran away too, and her ass was there a long time, so for all the souls that had to run, i feel all you went through, hiding is no way fun, anyways i so  someone  knows of her  and i so pray she is doing well and got away from that place including the court system,  I had to grow up over night for no reason at all, sad. Peace to all again.

52
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: Happy Holidays John Underwood
« on: June 15, 2009, 08:31:25 PM »
Barker will never be my fan!

53
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: ..Kenny N ,..Your The Best
« on: June 14, 2009, 07:26:19 PM »
whats sad is to hear so many hurt still, peace to all!

54
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: Seed: 12/71-03/73
« on: June 14, 2009, 07:05:00 PM »
Well you were not hog tied and guess what i still never have done drugs, of course the few that say it help notice how few too, they had to mold  people like yourself to have slaves is all, i am so happy you are doing good, but i was 13 when  dragged to that place had never been to jail nothing never did drugs, was a kid that went daily to school, sorry but i do not think the amount of souls that were hurt make up for the few that say it helped, asking you this, were you put in through the courts??? I bet if you never did drugs, and you were forced to say you did and had to see the crap i saw, you would not be saying it helped you, it helped me too, helped me learn how to do drugs and see people do drugs, and see people spit, and cut hair off, and kick and scream, it helped me to run away and i did, think each party has a story, you are lucky you did not go through the crap most did.I still have letters from this girl Mida who helped me get through some of the worst days of my life, Mida Garcia, I love you where ever you are, you saved me, kept me sane, should have seen the crap she went through, she finally ran away, i so hope she  got so far from that place too. Well Peace to all, if that place was a good place it still be around, the Jackie Gleason building is  still is around. Freaks they all were selfish souls mooching off of innocent  children and  misfortune d  souls is all they were, sick, hope they all are suffering like they have made many do.Well I do have a good life, but it was not because of some fools calling a place and selves the seed, the seeds i know and share  bring food or flowers, so you all can lick art barkers what ever, no pain is too good for that idiot, again i was forced not court ordered nor was i ever  ever  to this day in jail, and i have never done drugs. Pray all get through the torment that one had to go through, guess biting and kicking helped me too. Peace!   ( anyone at all having information about Mida Garcia please contact me. ty, all of you, be well.

55
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: Let 'em know how you feel (contact info.)
« on: June 14, 2009, 06:29:33 PM »
Who's phone numbers are these????    Because i will call if it is that libby women. I think she should be made to pay back anyone that  they took money or funds from.She should not own nothing till she does, nothing, not even the clothes she so thought she looked so cool in. I would like to take those high heel shoes and stick them some place that's for sure.

56
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: Here Is The Price Your Parents Paid
« on: June 14, 2009, 06:25:49 PM »
Well I have never sued anyone in my life, and it would not be my mother if i did, but i would love to find a way to send that little libby and her cult members to jail. I was abused because of them. Not something i so am proud of you know, just getting a jail sentence would be fair. They all knew going in what they were doing. And she is allowed to work around animals??????? Might as well just give her some more kids to torture while at it.Where can i sign stating this happened to me????? I am 49 years old, and i want justice, just like anyone else would. Think before you take on the world next time bitch.

57
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: The Seed-------Did Art Barker succeed?
« on: June 14, 2009, 06:18:34 PM »
Place was the worst thing anyone could go through, unless you were a stupid staff member.  .

58
The Seed Discussion Forum / Re: statement to CCI
« on: June 14, 2009, 06:07:01 PM »
Well who ever you are that responded I am that red headed girl yes, and my name really is susan, there is one person I so would love to find out about, her name was Mida Garcia, older then me,  put in from the court system,  was put in  many times too, she was a wonderful soul, watched out over me, saw her last when I left that place and refused to ever enter again, she reminded me that my life was my life,  I grew fast  and unafraid of anything because mida taught me how to keep my soul from being taken,  in other words they could not break me, no way,  she would  tell me  close your eyes and pretend I am with you somewhere, I always pretended we were in greynolds park,  last time I saw her was when she came to visit me, she had run away for her last time she said, I hope she made it far away from that place and her mom was able to join her with her beauitful daughter, I hope anyone that suffered  is able to find peace with something they love, like a special place, anything, because  it really is wrong to have to experience such  cruelty, at the age I was I should have been at school, or swimming like I loved so much, riding my bike, talking to my best friend Nancy, who still is my best friend, see something happened to me while all were busy  well going to school and learning and growing, I was busy hiding , afraid, scared to be myself,under weight from not eating right, oh my what else everything you could imagine that soul was going through.But what happened is I got stuck in time, to this day I feel like I am still young that age, I never grew up like most people, I had to teach self everything, which we do any ways, but I mean school, I was taken out and  I did not go back, because when I did I felt so self conscious like I was being watched which I am sure I was, but i stopped going to school because those same souls were there and I was not one of them I was me, always was me, so I stayed away from places that I thought they were. Running away at a young age changes everything for a young soul that had well a pattern like most  would. I got up daily went to school after school I did work outs at gym room, after that I came home and went off to swimming teams. I do not think that I had time to even know what a drug was, very sad. Why and what gives anyone the right to get  away with such bullshit, now I agree I came out grand, but come on  the shit I saw some go through hurt me more then what I myself was going through, what the seed taught me was to run, run for your life, and hide, and I never trusted anyone in there but Mida, so what the hec was this all about, some handful of idiots making money and a lot of it is all, not a one of them gave a shit about  anyone in that place, not one. I am asking anyone out there if you know how to contact anyone especially about Mida Garcia, think she deserves  a huge hug and a nice dinner from me, for being there for me, and so much more, that's the soul that helped me grow, yes Mida Garcia, the ones you all loved to be so hateful too,because she had a soul, and  you all did not. I say you all meaning the idiots that controlled or tried to control, I know not all were bad  but the most and the higher staff were all bad news,every last one of them were. How dare anyone mix young girls with  well druggies as all you called them anyways, I mean you had children chain smoking cigarettes from 10 in morning till 10 at night, that's really going to do wonders  to kids. Idiots, and I say idiots should pay. so if there is a way again to contact these fools, I am a big girl now, and very smart and healthy too, and guess what I still have never gotten high,so fudge you staff members, if your all not dead well I wish you all the same thing, I wish upon you what you did to so many in that  horrible hot  nasty old building that was falling apart.Hopefully some of them did do time, as kidnapping is against the law. That's what you all did to me, I also would love to chop off libbys hair if she still has it, as I recall it was as long as mine, to her bum maybe past, see if she likes being held against her will and her hair chopped off with a razor in front of both girls and guys, horrible that day was. Experience no torture yes. The seed in deed is not what I need, I did not do junk and pills and weed,  and even 12 hours a day of anything is over time so I want to be given back my time.Well, Peace to all, and  if I can ever help anyone feel better I am here, BIG HUGE HUGS TO ALL, Peace, stay free within.

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