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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

8/22/2008 10:52:43 AM
By Tim Ruzek
Post-Bulletin, Austin MN

Two teenage boys are charged in juvenile court for allegedly escaping from a juvenile treatment facility three weeks ago, stealing a car and driving to Pine Island.

A Goodhue County sheriff's deputy arrested the boys, ages 16 and 17, early on Aug. 2 after checking on several reports of two people rifling through cars in Pine Island.

One of the boys allegedly told the deputy that the stolen car had run out of gas and that they were looking for another vehicle in Pine Island, according to authorities. They were found in an alley behind the Pine Island fire hall by a Goodhue County deputy.

The boys started walking away when they saw the deputy and eventually ran, authorities say. The deputy caught the 17-year-old and found the other boy later walking in Pine Island after the boy had run through a river.

Each boy has been charged in Mower Juvenile Court with felony unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. The car was stolen from the 2100 block of Ninth Street Southwest in Austin.

An initial court date hasn't been set for the teens, who also might face charges in Goodhue County

The 16-year-old boy is from Burnsville, Minn., and the 17-year-old is from Savage, Minn. After their arrest, the boys were returned to the Gerard Academy, a residential treatment facility in northeast Austin for boys and girls from age 6 to 19. The campus is on the former Jay C. Hormel estate, a 12-acre site next to the Jay C. Hormel nature center.

http://http://www.postbulletin.com/newsmanager/templates/localnews_story.asp?z=2&a=357538

By JAMES ODATO, Capitol bureau
Last updated: 11:22 p.m., Thursday, August 7, 2008

ALBANY - Two years after the death of a 15-year-old boy at a youth detention center in Fulton County, the U.S. Department of Justice has begun a civil rights investigation.

   
Justice Department spokeswoman Jamie Hais and Office of Children & Families Services spokesman Edward Borges confirmed the investigation Thursday but they wouldn't say if the probe relates to the boy's 2006 death after being restrained by staff at the Tryon Boys Residential Center in Perth.

Hais said the special litigation section of the Justice Department's civil rights division, charged with protecting institutionalized people, is assigned the case.

Borges said the federal agency informed the state in December that it intended to look into Tryon's conditions. Investigators showed up in late June and informed the state that they'll be back soon. Discovery began in March, Borges said.

Public Employees Federation spokeswoman Darcy Wells said the Tryon facility has had an ongoing problem of employee abuse by inmates. She said several are out on workers' compensation because of confrontations with the youths in their charge. She blamed recent state policies that restrict the ability to restrain young people.

Borges said since 2007 Commissioner Gladys Carrion has changed the policy for dealing with young people at the various rehabilitation centers, calling for an end to excessive restraint techniques. Her initiatives have been met with resistance by staff.

[url=http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=710115]http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story. ... yID=710115[/url]

Facility thrives in first month
Ronica Shannon
Register News Writer

“Addicts change their goals to meet their behavior. Non-addicts change their behavior to meet their goals.”

This is an inspirational phrase written on one of the dry erase boards inside a room at Liberty Place Recovery Center for Women LLC, which has been in operation in Richmond for 31 days.

Changing behavior is one of the main focuses of the two-phase program, but the immediate enemy is inside the mind, according to peer mentor Lynn Starks, 42, of Elizabethtown.

“That’s what gets us into trouble is our thinking,” said Starks, who completed a 15-month substance abuse recovery program in Louisville.

“We don’t have to be an alcoholic or an addict for our thinking to get us in trouble,” she said.

The recovery center, located at 218 Lake St., offers classes focused on teaching the women new ways to think in order to continue on their road to recovery.

“I didn’t know any other way of living until I came into the program and was taught,” Starks said. “I had to be trained to think all over again. I was criminal-minded.”

When women first arrive at the recovery center, they are “scared to death,” Starks said. “Some of them have doubt that it will work for them.”

She reflected on her own attitude when first entering a recovery program.

“I’m grown and these people ain’t going to tell me what to do,” she recalled thinking. “They don’t know what they’re talking about. I thought they were just trying to brainwash me. Until I really got into it, I had doubts.”

Part of recovery is understanding the disease, Starks said.

“I’ve been to treatment before,” she said. “I’ve been to psychiatrists, counseling, and they didn’t tell me what was really wrong with me. It wasn’t until I went to jail and got Recovery Dynamics.”

Recovery Dynamics is a comprehensive program of instructional and self-help materials for counselors and individuals. The program is based on the original 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Recovery Dynamics is used at Liberty Place.

Starks said her disease was “two-fold.”

“It centers in my mind and my body,” she said.

Addicts can sometimes take a physical issue and make it a moral issue, said Debbie Daniel, recovery services director.

“It makes them feel like there’s something wrong with them,” Daniel said. “If they don’t get the help, that guilt and shame will continue to get worse and leave them in that cycle and it will never go away.”

Clients are screened by a telephone interview. Screenings can help identify medical, physical, and mental health issues, said Karen Bailey, program developer for Foothills Community Action Partnership.

“Screenings determine appropriateness, and clients must be medically cleared to enter the program,” she said.

Aside from attending classes and learning to accept more responsibilities, clients also are given a comfortable place to live.

Virtually all the rooms in the facility, including classrooms and utility rooms, have been sponsored by individuals or organizations in the community.

All of the women’s rooms were decorated by a room sponsor.

“Although a person’s surroundings cannot assure recovery from addiction, living in a pleasant home can certainly help instill dignity and pride in the residents,” said Vicki Jozefowicz, Foothills Executive Director. “As the residents have seen the beautiful apartments that were decorated for them by community members, businesses, and organizations, they have been overwhelmed with the understanding that total strangers cared enough about people they had never met to go to such effort to provide rooms that are as comfortable and pretty as would be found in any private home.”

Moving into a two-bed room is a privilege for those who have moved on in the program, said Jerri Allison, director.

Clients stay in a 12-bed room when they first enter the program, and gradually work their way into a more quaint, apartment-like setting.

“To watch the women’s faces when they move into the rooms is a wonderful opportunity,” Allison said.

There are now 21 women recovering at Liberty Place.

“Although Liberty Place will eventually house 100 women at a time, we are admitting a few women at a time and don’t expect to reach full capacity until around the end of 2008 or the first of 2009,” Jozefowicz said. “The reason for this is so that we have residents who are at various stages in their recovery versus them all being at the same point. As the program is based on women helping women, we need some to be further along in their recovery so they can help the newer ones.”

The women accept more responsibility as they progress to phase two, and will eventually begin looking for jobs within the community, Allison said.

There is more to recovery than getting rid of an addiction, Daniel said.

“You literally are reborn in there,” she said. “Not only do you get clean and sober, but you grow up and you learn to take responsibility and have accountability.”

Starks admitted it is a very long, hard road to recovery, but said it is a road that she is privileged to have traveled.

“Everything that I’ve been through has been bought and paid for and I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” she said. “I would go right back and do it again to get to where I’m at today.”

http://www.richmondregister.com/localnews/local_story_217081241.html

UPDATE: Escapees apprehended

By D'Anna Balliett

Two youth assaulted a security guard in their escape from the Thayer Learning Center Tuesday night, July 29. Thayer Learning Center is located in Kidder Missouri.

Caldwell County authorities alerted surrounding law enforcement agencies of the escape at approximately 11:45 p.m. that night. Reports state that a security guard was tied up after being assaulted. Jameson and Fox, the two escapees, were last seen leaving the area on foot.

Reports saying the youth had left on foot had authorities searching in all directions but mainly toward Daviess County. Later information came to police that the boys intended to stop at the McDonald's in Cameron, Mo.

Shortly before 1 a.m., Cameron police were notified that the subjects were in a truck at the McDonald's Drive through. Cameron police, Missouri State Highway Patrol, Caldwell Sheriff arrived on scene.

*
The individuals, Jameson a 15 year old white male and Fox, a 15 to 17 year old white male, were taken into custody and transferred to the Cameron Police department where they were held until being transferred to a juvenile detention center.

According to Cameron Juvenile Officer, Kieth Mathews, the investigation into the incident is ongoing and involves three counties. Information is still being gathered before charges can be filed against the individuals.

http://www.citizen-observer.com/articles/2008/07/30/news/news40.txt

Drowning ruled the cause of death for 17-year-old Bucks County boy.

By Andrea Ciccocioppo, Sentinel Reporter, July 30, 2008

Last updated: Thursday, July 31, 2008 3:45 PM EDT
Fuller Lake in Pine Grove Furnace State Park is open today after rescue workers found the body of a missing 17-year-old Wednesday.

Eric Williams disappeared shortly after 4 p.m. Tuesday while swimming with a group from Valley Youth House in Warminster, located near Philadelphia.

In excess of 50 volunteers from area fire and rescue companies from throughout Cumberland County searched Tuesday evening until after dark, according to a press release from the Cumberland County Coroner's Office.

The volunteers returned early Wednesday morning and continued the search until the recovery occurred just after 5 p.m.

Cumberland County Coroner Michael Norris said an autopsy conducted this morning determined that the cause of Williams' death was drowning.

The Department of Conervation and Natural resources, police and the coroner’s office are continuing the investigation.

According to officials, the group was swimming within an area where swimming is permitted in about five to 24 feet of water. The youth were returning to the beach when the boy was noticed missing, according to John Bruetsch, Cumberland County chief public information.

Officials said no one noticed the boy was in distress, but a counselor noticed he was no longer with the group. “They decided to try to handle it themselves and searched for about an hour and a half before calling for help,” Bruetsch explained.

Four divers and boats from New Cumberland River Rescue and Cumberland-Goodwill Fire Company searched the 52-degree water for nearly five hours Tuesday night for the boy, before the search was called off due to darkness. Fuller Lake was closed on Wednesday while divers resumed their search.

Michelle Parsons of the Cumberland County Department of Public Safety says the youth’s body was recovered just before 5 p.m. in about 33 feet of water. She says an autopsy is planned to determine the cause of death.

There were no lifeguards on duty at the 1.7-acre lake. The state, in order to save money, eliminated lifeguards at all state park beaches except Presque Isle near Erie this year.

“The open swim program provides increased opportunities for swimmers beyond the hours and seasons during which lifeguards are available,” said DCNR Secretary Michael DiBerardinis.

Beaches will continue to be patrolled and monitored by state park staff. Instructions and regulations on swimming are posted at all beaches.

The implementation of open swim beaches is a national trend. It allows state parks to operate more efficiently, and provides greater public access to beaches.

Outside the swim area, the lake — an old quarry — is as deep as 52 feet. “It does get fairly deep outside the swimming area,” explained Christina Novak, of the state Department of Conservation and Natural Resources. Under the surface, the water is also cold at about 52 degrees.

This is the first drowning at a Pa. state park within the swimming area.

“We’ve not had any drownings this year in areas related to open swim,” said Christina Novak, of the state Department of Conservation and Natural Resources. “We’ve had drownings this year, but they were not in swimming areas.”

Regardless, state officials review all incidents. “Throughout this year, we’ve been evaluating the inclusion of the open swim policy,” Novak said. “We will look at this and all incidents occurring this year.”

Bruetsch said it’s critical in an emergency situation to alert authorities as soon as possible. “Call 911 first,” Bruetsch said. “People can start looking, but you’ll save valuable time.”

He said it’s always better for crews to get to a scene and find out they’re not needed rather than lose time. “Even if he’d have been playing a joke, they’d much rather come out and find that out than spend an evening trying to recover a body.”

www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_10006748

Courtesy: Salt Lake Tribune

Kids pay the price for Judiciary Committee's inaction
By Carol Chodroff
Article Last Updated: 07/26/2008 11:06:00 AM MDT

Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, and his colleagues on the Senate Judiciary Committee, should show up for kids.

    The Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Reauthorization Act of 2008, the most important juvenile justice legislation Congress has addressed in years, is up for consideration in the Senate next week. This critical bill, which has strong bipartisan support, would improve public safety by reforming the juvenile justice system. It would increase mental health and drug treatment services for youth, improve confinement conditions and reduce disproportionate sanctions for minor adolescent misbehavior.

    The effective prevention, mental health and drug treatment programs called for in the bill would help children exit the criminal justice system, return to school and become responsible, productive citizens.

    Three Republicans and three Democrats have co-sponsored the bill, which would reduce crime and enhance public safety.

    Unfortunately, the bill is going nowhere fast, unless members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, on which Sen. Hatch serves, show up for their committee hearings.

    When the Senate Judiciary Committee was scheduled to consider the bill, Republicans refused to attend. Upset about an unrelated issue (lack of time to discuss judicial nominations), Republicans boycotted the committee, which can't proceed without a quorum.

    If the committee doesn't convene, the legislation doesn't get heard. And 100,000 children in this country who are confined in juvenile detention and residential facilities, often plagued by harsh and abusive conditions, will pay the price. In Utah, 1,232 children locked in 22 different facilities will be affected. So will society at large.

    Current juvenile justice practices ignore children's age and amenability to rehabilitation and threaten community safety. Almost 10,000 children in the United States are held in adult jails and prisons, where their size and youth render them vulnerable to victimization.

    The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported that, after release, children incarcerated in adult prisons commit more crimes, and more serious crimes, than children with similar histories held in juvenile facilities. In Utah, 41 youth were certified into the adult criminal justice system last year.

    The President's New Freedom Commission on Mental Health reports 80 percent of youth in the juvenile justice system suffer from mental health or substance abuse disorders. Those youth are too often denied essential treatment that could change the trajectory of their lives and prevent crime.

    Status offenders are still held too often in locked facilities in this country. Status offenders are youth who engage in non-criminal offenses such as running away or truancy - conduct that would not be considered criminal if committed by an adult.

    Research reveals that commingling status offenders with delinquent youth increases crime, further compromising public safety. Fortunately, Utah's state law already prohibits lock-up of status offenders. The juvenile bill would encourage other states to follow Utah's positive example.

    Sen. Hatch says he is steadfast in his "dedication to consider and introduce any appropriate federal legislation which might limit the effects of crime in our communities." This bill is a prime example of such legislation.

    There is no question that the issue of judicial nominations is important and deserves attention. But the Senate should not throw out the baby with the bathwater and deny children help because of unrelated concerns.

    Sen. Hatch and the entire Senate Judiciary Committee should show up to the next hearing and make a critical difference for children. Children should not have to pay the price of partisan bickering.
    ---
    * CAROL CHODROFF is U.S. advocacy director at Human Rights Watch, a nonprofit, nongovernmental organization that advocates for human rights around the world.

Here's a Christian article regarding troubled teens, citing troubled parents as the cause and advising how to help deal with them.

Taking Time to Save Our Teens

July 9, 2008 | From theTrumpet.com
Young people today face daunting challenges. Here is how we can help them through. By Dennis Leap
 

For decades, an increasing number of news reports have shown us that our teens are in serious trouble. We need to look squarely at some of the problems they face today.

One in 10 Americans ages 12 to 17 admit to using illicit drugs, according to the 2005 National Survey on Drug Use and Health. Marijuana is the main drug they use, although a rapidly growing number abuse prescription drugs, falsely believing them to be a safe way to get high. Among 18-to-25-year-olds, over 20 percent use illegal drugs. Realize that these percentages reflect numbers in the millions.

Yet, the news on drug use gets worse. The rate of illegal drug initiation for those 12 and over was an estimated 2.9 million people in 2005—amounting to nearly 8,000 new users every day. Over half were under age 18. Though it may be hard for adults to accept that baby-faced teens smoke, swallow and inhale various drugs, these well-documented facts cannot be denied.

Sexual promiscuity is also at an all-time high. Seven in 10 teens have sexual intercourse by age 19, a 2006 report from the Guttmacher Institute revealed. Even though teen pregnancy has declined since the 1990s, the rate in the U.S. is still far higher than in other developed countries. Just under 1 in 3 young women become pregnant during their teen years—around 750,000 a year. Approximately 95 percent of teen pregnancies are unintended; most are unmarried. Teen pregnancy costs the U.S. at least $9 billion annually.

There is even more chilling news. In 2004, suicide ranked as the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24. Approximately 12 youth suicides occur every day. It is estimated that for every youth who commits suicide, as many as 200 more attempt it.

Directionless, explosive and spoiled, our youth are plagued by despair and discouragement. No longer able to cope with the problems our modern society throws at them, many teens are simply opting to destroy themselves. We are in grave danger of losing an entire generation.

Hearing disturbing facts about teens is never easy. These kinds of statistics are always gut wrenching. Yet we must not deny them or hide from the reality they lay before us. The truth is, many young people in the Western world are unprincipled, drug-addicted, promiscuous and violent. Whether we admit it openly or not, most adults know that things should be different with our youth.

From time to time even in our own families, we see teens get into serious trouble with illicit sex, drug use and other problems. Some of our own teens are chronically unhappy. Shouldn’t our beloved and wonderful children be living happier, more productive lives? Isn’t it time we ask why our teens are living in continuous crisis?

Cause for Troubled Youth

Mankind has a sad history of incompetence when dealing with its own problems. Herbert W. Armstrong often reminded Plain Truth readers that there is a cause for every effect. Solving any problem requires first dealing with the cause. People have always treated the effects. As a result, our problems simply get worse and worse.

What is the cause of messed-up teens? We could point the finger at many things: our failing school systems, the entertainment industry, the music industry, drug pushers, pornography, violent video games or any other modern malady. But the stark truth is that the main cause for troubled teens is troubled parents.

Too many parents are so self-absorbed and caught up in their own personal crises that they can’t focus on the right rearing of teens. To save our teens, parents must take on their God-given responsibility to nurture, love, lead, teach and discipline their children.

Let’s face it: We have become the generation that has abandoned our teens.

Mr. Armstrong warned about the damaging effects of parental neglect. He wrote over 20 years ago, “Family life has undergone a radical revolution! Teens have sex games at home in bed while Dad and Mom are at work. Children do not eat with parents. They seldom go to movies with parents. Parents have their lives, associates and friends apart from the children. Parents never think of teaching children, being with children, maintaining a family relationship! Parental responsibility is totally neglected. In due time parents are going to be brought to account for this neglect of basic responsibility” (The Missing Dimension in Sex). Admitting responsibility for teen neglect is difficult for any parent. Yet it is the only means to an effective solution for our teen crisis.

Solomon, one of the wisest men who ever lived, wrote, “[A] child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Proverbs 29:15). Is it too difficult for us to recognize that our children are growing up unsupervised? Meditate for a moment on the effects we see in the lives of our teens.

No matter the effect—illegal drug use, promiscuous sex, violence—any bad news report about teens tells us one thing: We have left our children too much to themselves. When we become honest with ourselves, it will be easier for us to admit that our teens are paying a heavy price for our neglect.

The Right Role

We can be certain of this one thing: God did not intend for teen life to be so tragically traumatic. The teen years should be productive years filled with mental and emotional growth and accomplishment. All teens should radiate joy and happiness.

We must also recognize that God never intended there be a generation gap between parents and teens. Yet we see that gap has become so wide and so deep that many parents and teens have become arch-enemies.

As Paul warned Timothy, our time is a perilous time in which people lack natural affection (2 Timothy 3:1-5). Clearly, there is a devil, and he has turned his wiles and vicious wrath against our families, successfully destroying the natural, loving bonds that should exist between parents and teens. Some extreme cases have ended in murder inside families!

Rearing teens should be a rewarding, satisfying experience that fills parents with joy. Yet so many people have come to dread the teenage years. If handled God’s way, though, during the teen years parents and children can build truly wonderful bonds that will last a lifetime.

The Bible shows us clearly how to solve problems with our teens. Of course, to solve any teen problem, both parents and teens have a role to play. Both sides must come to know and fulfill their obligations to each other.

Instruction to Teens

Concerned about the welfare of families in his day, the Apostle Paul taught clearly what these roles must be.

Here is his instruction to our young people: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3). Paul is clear and definite in this letter: The right role for teens is to be obedient to parents.

The meaning of the Greek word for obey, hupakouo, is very interesting—something to study and think about. According to Strong’s Concordance, it means “to hear under (as a subordinate), that is, to? listen ?attentively; by implication to? heed or? conform to a command or authority ….” Paul uses a very strong word to describe a young person’s obedience.

Every child and teen must come to lovingly recognize his or her subordinate position to that of the parent and then be willing to obey.

How rare is this today? The majority of our youth believe themselves to be equal or superior to their parents. Not only do most refuse to accept a command to do something, they resist even the mildest suggestion.

Paul stresses here that parents have the right to command their children. The word hupakouo should hold meaning for parents as well. Many parents fail to command their children. Why? We have become a culture that is anti-authority.

Applying the right amount of corporal punishment at the right time requires wisdom. It is true that some parents take it too far. Child abuse should never be tolerated. But failing to discipline our children altogether is also a deadly form of child abuse! Parents who go to one extreme or the other are simply parents who have never grown up.

The sad truth is, many parents still live and act like teens themselves.

Habitual Obedience

The good habit of obedience should be well established in children by age 5. But generally, teens will need continual training. An important lesson here is that teens must come to understand the wonderful benefit of having parents who care enough to require obedience. All teens must become and remain obedient to parents such as these. They must obey their parents as long as their parents are teaching them lawful and moral ways.

Jesus Christ set a perfect example of being in subjection to His parents (Luke 2:51). All teens must strive to follow His example.

The book of Proverbs, written specifically for young people, stresses obedience to those in authority more than any other subject. Every human being must study this book. Of course, no teen is required to obey a parent when he or she encourages the breaking of God’s or man’s laws.

Paul clearly reminds teens of the all-important Fifth Commandment: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). Teens and young adults must come to deeply honor their parents. When teens deeply respect their parents, they are also deeply respecting God, who is the Father of the God Family. Any teen who disobeys and disrespects his or her parents actually disobeys and disrespects God. Giving honor to parents is very pleasing to God and will produce untold blessings.

As Paul shows, the Fifth Commandment is the first commandment with promise. God zealously guarantees a long and healthy life to children who obey and respect their parents.

Many woes and even death have come to teens as a result of the sins of disobedience and rebellion. Our newspapers are full of stories about how promiscuous sex and the use of illegal drugs have permanently damaged a multitude of young bodies and minds. Teens must learn to obey their parents for the protection of their physical and mental health.

A Father’s Vital Role

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul gives important instruction to parents, especially fathers. In fact, Paul directly charges fathers to play a very specific role in rearing children, which obviously includes teens. A separation or a divorce does not absolve a father from his responsibility.

Paul commands: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Provoke not your children to wrath. We must learn this lesson. An attitude of love must dominate a father’s commands. Paul shows clearly that all fathers (and mothers) must be balanced in their correction. True love gives us balance. To be balanced requires that discipline be neither too soft nor too hard. Either of these extremes will produce anger in a teen.

Fathers: Do you realize that both extremes show your children that you don’t love them? When you are too soft, a child interprets that as a lack of concern and interest. This makes children frustrated and angry. Even though a child may complain about rules and limits, those rules are exactly what he or she desires most from us. Firm but balanced limits prove that we love our children.

On the other hand, if you are too hard on a teen—too restrictive or even verbally or physically abusive—that also shows the teen that you don’t love him or her.

Realize that teens, even though they have adult bodies, are still children emotionally. They need ample amounts of patience, mercy, forgiveness and love because they are learning how to live properly. Teens will make mistakes—many mistakes. All fathers must lovingly guide them through their errors, showing the correct way to live life. Being too impatient, unforgiving or hard will drive our teens away from us. If we are not cautious parents, we could become responsible for wrecking a child’s life. A balanced approach to teen rearing can only come through education and experience.

Notice that Paul also states that fathers (and mothers too) are to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” This instruction is vital. God requires that we nurture and admonish our young people His way—not our own! So many parents make mistakes in child rearing because they do not look to God and the Bible for instruction.

It is prudent for all parents to come to the same humble attitude that Jeremiah displayed when he prayed, “O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. O Lord, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing” (Jeremiah 10:23-24). God, the perfect parent, must teach us how to be parents. If we are not teachable, and refuse correction in child rearing, we will make many mistakes.

Parents Are Educators

We must come to understand the word nurture better. The word in the Greek, paideia, means tutelage, education or training. It also implies disciplinary correction, which includes chastening, chastisement and moral instruction. (Study the word admonition on your own. It is similar to nurture but has more to do with mental understanding.) Nurture means that fathers are to be educators.

Fathers must oversee the imparting of knowledge to their children. Teachers outside of the family can and often should teach subjects like reading, writing and math—but fathers must do the majority of the spiritual and moral instruction. Of course, mothers have their part as well.

Yet, this word nurture demands that fathers perform their instruction in a loving and protective manner. All fathers must have a commanding presence in their teens’ lives. Behind that presence, there must be ample amounts of love and support.

Nurture also means that fathers are directly responsible for their child’s welfare both financially and emotionally. Emotional support far outweighs even finances. We must recognize that a child’s can-do attitude is built by a loving and supportive father. So many children are insecure because they have missed out on a father’s emotional support. We must see that the word nurture carries a grave responsibility.

Take the Time

Properly nurturing a child requires time—a lot of time. All children—sons and daughters—need to spend time with Dad! Not spending the proper amount of time with children is perhaps the most significant failing for most fathers. Many child-development experts are coming to see the vital importance of fathers spending time with their children.

Judith Wallerstein, a family-counseling expert, writes, “After decades of minutely recording mother-child interactions as if they existed in a ‘daddy-less’ world, researchers have finally discovered fathers and how important they are to a child’s development.?…?Children with sensitive, involved fathers surge ahead in their cognitive and social development as they explore their environment and play with other children. One important study that followed children for 25 years showed that those who were closely involved with their fathers at age 5 were more empathic as adults and were happier as husbands and parents than those who had not experienced close relationships with their own fathers …. And just to dispel the strange notion that fathers are more important to their sons than their daughters, a study of young women who excelled in their academic studies … revealed that they attributed their high ambition to their father’s long-standing encouragement” (The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce). Please read this quote a second time.

Fathers: Your children, especially teens, need your time and undivided attention. Your teens need you involved in their lives.

So many of our young people are growing up alone. Let’s not neglect our teens. Let’s sacrifice our time and get involved. •