Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Hyde Schools => Topic started by: Lars on April 06, 2006, 09:36:00 AM
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I haven't posted here in a while, but I thought I'd point something out to the Hyde folks who keep telling people to disclose their real names.
In this day and age, prospective employers often google potential employees to see if they've been posting on the internet in blogs or discussion boards. Guess what? Even successful graduates of Hyde may not want to associate ourselves with the place. I'm a successful graduate, but I've achieved success in spite of Hyde, not because of it. The place is an embarrassment to me. Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place. Forunately, in my profession (law) and most others, nobody cares what you did in high school. Still, I'd rather not have my name associated with the place. So to all the jerks trying to get people to out themselves, get a clue. Life is not a Hyde seminar.
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On 2006-04-06 06:36:00, Lars wrote:
"I haven't posted here in a while, but I thought I'd point something out to the Hyde folks who keep telling people to disclose their real names.
In this day and age, prospective employers often google potential employees to see if they've been posting on the internet in blogs or discussion boards. Guess what? Even successful graduates of Hyde may not want to associate ourselves with the place. I'm a successful graduate, but I've achieved success in spite of Hyde, not because of it. The place is an embarrassment to me. Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place. Forunately, in my profession (law) and most others, nobody cares what you did in high school. Still, I'd rather not have my name associated with the place. So to all the jerks trying to get people to out themselves, get a clue. Life is not a Hyde seminar."
I agree with you Lars. Although I respect those who wish to disclose their identities here, I also fully understand that some people have been burned by Hyde so badly that they're not willing to disclose their names. You've also pointed out other reasons why someone might not want to take the risk. Some of us are still affiliated with Hyde and don't want to risk repercussions while we still have the connection. At the same time we are determined to let parents who are considering Hyde know about our negative experience. Of course, those who have had good experiences should feel free to post too.
Lars, are you saying Hyde contacted you after you started posting on this website? Are you saying Hyde is monitoring this website?
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Thanks, Lars. I appreciate your comments. I had been concerned that if I revealed too much about my identity there would be repercussions, and you confirmed that.
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On 2006-04-06 07:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Thanks, Lars. I appreciate your comments. I had been concerned that if I revealed too much about my identity there would be repercussions, and you confirmed that."
http://www.aa-intergroup.org/html/anonymity.html (http://www.aa-intergroup.org/html/anonymity.html)
Having your anonymity busted sucks.
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On 2006-04-06 07:59:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-06 07:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Thanks, Lars. I appreciate your comments. I had been concerned that if I revealed too much about my identity there would be repercussions, and you confirmed that."
http://www.aa-intergroup.org/html/anonymity.html (http://www.aa-intergroup.org/html/anonymity.html)
Having your anonymity busted sucks."
This is just another hypocrisy with the Hyde School. They believe we should post our names on a public board, yet they preach about privacy. It is all about what is best for the Hyde School, not the true principles that Hyde is supposed to stand for. Like others have said, the principles only apply to those outside of the staff and administration! Good riddens Hyde!!
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On 2006-04-06 07:34:00, Anonymous wrote:
Lars, are you saying Hyde contacted you after you started posting on this website? Are you saying Hyde is monitoring this website?"
They sure are. Why wouldn't they? They're not used to dealing with situations they can't control and this site is bad PR for them. Nosy bastards called me, then mentioned it in a fundraising letter to my folks.
{edited for formatting}[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-12 17:25 ]
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Lars,
I hope they sent a check! :eek:
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On 2006-04-06 06:36:00, Lars wrote:
"I haven't posted here in a while, but I thought I'd point something out to the Hyde folks who keep telling people to disclose their real names.
In this day and age, prospective employers often google potential employees to see if they've been posting on the internet in blogs or discussion boards. Guess what? Even successful graduates of Hyde may not want to associate ourselves with the place. I'm a successful graduate, but I've achieved success in spite of Hyde, not because of it. The place is an embarrassment to me. Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place. Forunately, in my profession (law) and most others, nobody cares what you did in high school. Still, I'd rather not have my name associated with the place. So to all the jerks trying to get people to out themselves, get a clue. Life is not a Hyde seminar."
Lars: Who called you from Hyde? And what did they say to you?
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I am not associated with Hyde, other than having been a student there. The only reason I found this website is because a friend who knows I went to Hyde sent me a link.
Opinions about what Hyde was or is like are fine. My biggest problem with the Anonymous posters are the ones who make accusations of criminal acts, but won't state their names.
If are not willing to sign your name to such an accusation, you shouldn't make it. I believe many of the posters who make such statements are just being slanderous and I want to make sure that everyone who reads the posts realize that.
Stephen Long
Hyde '81
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On 2006-04-06 07:59:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-06 07:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Thanks, Lars. I appreciate your comments. I had been concerned that if I revealed too much about my identity there would be repercussions, and you confirmed that."
http://www.aa-intergroup.org/html/anonymity.html (http://www.aa-intergroup.org/html/anonymity.html)
Having your anonymity busted sucks."
This isn't AA! It is a discussion board about a school, not a therapy session.
And I am not talking about "busting" anyone's anonymity. I am talking about being an adult and letting people know that you are willing to stand up for what you have to say.
Stephen Long[ This Message was edited by: StephenLong on 2006-04-10 08:16 ]
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Stephen,
People are accepting you with your wish to disclose your identity, but you are not accepting them in their wish to remain anonymous. Your continuing need to confront people on this site takes me back to exactly what was so distasteful about Hyde.
I wish you well in your life of continuing revelation.
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One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.
With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve or her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the lonely Irishman, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the irish castaway replied, "Ten years."
Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve unzips a pocket there and removes a flask and hands it to him.
He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" stated the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked,
"And how long has it been since you played a round?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"
Stephen Long
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On 2006-04-06 06:36:00, Lars wrote:
"Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place."
Hmmmm. Let's see.
1. You effectively outed youself by providing tons of details about your life that made it obvious who you were. (Didn't you even provide your own name on here at one point? I haven't looked back to check.)
2. It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue.
3. Hyde contacted your parents for fundraising, and in the course of the conversation, mentioned they had spoken with you.
So where is the lack of respect for privacy? You outed yourself. They called you to talk about it. They called your parents in the ordinary course (fundraising, where you would be natural subject of the call, just like any fundraising of this sort).
Anyway, I'll bet it would rock your world to learn that Hyde contacting you was based on compassion and concern for you.
Point is, for some it may be helpful to out themselves. For others, not so much. Its a personal decision. But make no mistake, this is a public forum, and not a private AA meeting, as someone else suggested.
Hyde's actions could be consistent with either (a) a school so terrified by this board that they will stop at no lengths to put an end to it, or (b) an institution that cares about its alum, no matter how disgruntled.
You seem to have chosen (a), but provide no backup for that.
On good information, I happen to believe it was (b).
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On 2006-04-11 10:50:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-06 06:36:00, Lars wrote:
"Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place."
Hmmmm. Let's see.
1. You effectively outed youself by providing tons of details about your life that made it obvious who you were. (Didn't you even provide your own name on here at one point? I haven't looked back to check.)
2. It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue.
3. Hyde contacted your parents for fundraising, and in the course of the conversation, mentioned they had spoken with you.
So where is the lack of respect for privacy? You outed yourself. They called you to talk about it. They called your parents in the ordinary course (fundraising, where you would be natural subject of the call, just like any fundraising of this sort).
Anyway, I'll bet it would rock your world to learn that Hyde contacting you was based on compassion and concern for you.
Point is, for some it may be helpful to out themselves. For others, not so much. Its a personal decision. But make no mistake, this is a public forum, and not a private AA meeting, as someone else suggested.
Hyde's actions could be consistent with either (a) a school so terrified by this board that they will stop at no lengths to put an end to it, or (b) an institution that cares about its alum, no matter how disgruntled.
You seem to have chosen (a), but provide no backup for that.
On good information, I happen to believe it was (b).
"
What is the source of your "good information"? How would you happen to know enough to say that, to use your words, "It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue." Are you on the Hyde staff or part of the Hyde "team"?
What you say about Hyde's reasons for reaching out may be true; I have no way of knowing. My guess is that some Hyde staff are concerned and want to have the kind of dialogue you suggest for honorable reasons. In addition, my guess is that some Hyde staff are also deeply concerned and troubled by this website and are doing what they can to stop the awful PR bleeding. That's merely a hunch.
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Awful PR bleeding? With topics like "hyde is great"
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On 2006-04-11 11:33:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Awful PR bleeding? With topics like "hyde is great""
Oh please, do you think that people will think Hyde is a great school because somebody ocassionally comes on this board and says things like, "Hyde is great" or "I love Hyde."
I think a person can find some good in most anything on this earth. The problem is that there are some desperate parents out there who truly need the help of a good school or program. They need to know ALL that Hyde has to offer as well as it's limitations. It is not only a big financial investment, but an investment of time, emotion and energy for the entire family. Hyde needs to be more honest about what their capabilities are in helping. Someone from Hyde will now say, "what you get out of the program is up to you" but in reality it is much more complicated than this. If you simply have a character disorder then maybe Hyde can help, but if there are true medical issues, ADD, eating disorders, psychological disorders, Hyde is not the most appropriate place for your child nor does Hyde tell you this.
I simply ask that Hyde be more honest about this when enrolling a family rather than taking the money and when it doesn't work out, say "bye bye." This is not "honesty" IMHO.
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On 2006-04-11 12:44:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-11 11:33:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Awful PR bleeding? With topics like "hyde is great""
Oh please, do you think that people will think Hyde is a great school because somebody ocassionally comes on this board and says things like, "Hyde is great" or "I love Hyde."
I think a person can find some good in most anything on this earth. The problem is that there are some desperate parents out there who truly need the help of a good school or program. They need to know ALL that Hyde has to offer as well as it's limitations. It is not only a big financial investment, but an investment of time, emotion and energy for the entire family. Hyde needs to be more honest about what their capabilities are in helping. Someone from Hyde will now say, "what you get out of the program is up to you" but in reality it is much more complicated than this. If you simply have a character disorder then maybe Hyde can help, but if there are true medical issues, ADD, eating disorders, psychological disorders, Hyde is not the most appropriate place for your child nor does Hyde tell you this.
I simply ask that Hyde be more honest about this when enrolling a family rather than taking the money and when it doesn't work out, say "bye bye." This is not "honesty" IMHO."
Oh please, do you think that people will think Hyde is a bad school because somebody ocassionally comes on this board and says things like, "Hyde is cult" or "I hate Hyde."
Back at you. A robin, a spring does not make. A bunch of post on an obsure web forum does not a bleeding PR wound make.
BTW I do love Hyde even thought I agree with some of the things I have seen posted that are less then flattering. I have posted some my self. To me Hyde is more then Joe or any of the bozo staff. It as the place and the time and the people that I was there with. When you say Joe is a looney that chews tennis balls, it is hard to disagree. I think this old supertramp song expresses my thoughts at this moment:
So you think your schooling?s phoney
I guess it?s hard not to agree
You say it all depends on money
And who is in your family tree
Right, you?re bloody well right
You know you got a right to say
Right, you?re bloody well right
You know you got a right to say
Ha-ha you?re bloody well right
You know you?re right to say
Yeah-yeah you?re bloody well right
You know you?re right to say
Me, I don?t care anyway!
Write your problems down in detail
Take them to a higher place
You?ve had your cry - no, I should say wail
In the meantime hush your face
Right, quite right, you?re bloody well right... etc
Except for the hush your face part. Rock on Garth with your Hyde sucks riff. Play it til it satisfies your soul.
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On 2006-04-11 10:50:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-06 06:36:00, Lars wrote:
"Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place."
Hmmmm. Let's see.
1. You effectively outed youself by providing tons of details about your life that made it obvious who you were. (Didn't you even provide your own name on here at one point? I haven't looked back to check.)
2. It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue.
3. Hyde contacted your parents for fundraising, and in the course of the conversation, mentioned they had spoken with you.
So where is the lack of respect for privacy? You outed yourself. They called you to talk about it. They called your parents in the ordinary course (fundraising, where you would be natural subject of the call, just like any fundraising of this sort).
Anyway, I'll bet it would rock your world to learn that Hyde contacting you was based on compassion and concern for you.
Point is, for some it may be helpful to out themselves. For others, not so much. Its a personal decision. But make no mistake, this is a public forum, and not a private AA meeting, as someone else suggested.
Hyde's actions could be consistent with either (a) a school so terrified by this board that they will stop at no lengths to put an end to it, or (b) an institution that cares about its alum, no matter how disgruntled.
You seem to have chosen (a), but provide no backup for that.
On good information, I happen to believe it was (b).
"
So, asshole, which campus do you teach at?
I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family. If you're too clueless to understand that, you're not even worth responding to. You missed the point of my original post as well...who the hell wants to have a potential employer finding out that you've been involved with such a fucked up place?
You might want to take your foot out of your mouth before it chokes you.
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On 2006-04-11 15:22:00, Lars wrote:
"
On 2006-04-11 10:50:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-06 06:36:00, Lars wrote:
"Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place."
Hmmmm. Let's see.
1. You effectively outed youself by providing tons of details about your life that made it obvious who you were. (Didn't you even provide your own name on here at one point? I haven't looked back to check.)
2. It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue.
3. Hyde contacted your parents for fundraising, and in the course of the conversation, mentioned they had spoken with you.
So where is the lack of respect for privacy? You outed yourself. They called you to talk about it. They called your parents in the ordinary course (fundraising, where you would be natural subject of the call, just like any fundraising of this sort).
Anyway, I'll bet it would rock your world to learn that Hyde contacting you was based on compassion and concern for you.
Point is, for some it may be helpful to out themselves. For others, not so much. Its a personal decision. But make no mistake, this is a public forum, and not a private AA meeting, as someone else suggested.
Hyde's actions could be consistent with either (a) a school so terrified by this board that they will stop at no lengths to put an end to it, or (b) an institution that cares about its alum, no matter how disgruntled.
You seem to have chosen (a), but provide no backup for that.
On good information, I happen to believe it was (b).
"
So, asshole, which campus do you teach at?
I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family. If you're too clueless to understand that, you're not even worth responding to. You missed the point of my original post as well...who the hell wants to have a potential employer finding out that you've been involved with such a fucked up place?
You might want to take your foot out of your mouth before it chokes you."
Hey,
It is good that you are getting in touch with your feelings. Let that anger out.
If I saw you write a letter to the editor and I knew your Mom, I might say "did you see that letter to the editor Lars wrote" What is wrong with that?
sue doenym (not my real name)
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Hey,
It is good that you are getting in touch with your feelings. Let that anger out.
If I saw you write a letter to the editor and I knew your Mom, I might say "did you see that letter to the editor Lars wrote" What is wrong with that?
sue doenym (not my real name)"
If I wrote a letter to the editor, I'd sign my name to it. And you didn't answer my question, which campus do you teach at? [ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-11 18:28 ]
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On 2006-04-11 17:00:00, Lars wrote:
"
Hey,
It is good that you are getting in touch with your feelings. Let that anger out.
If I saw you write a letter to the editor and I knew your Mom, I might say "did you see that letter to the editor Lars wrote" What is wrong with that?
sue doenym (not my real name)"
If I wrote a letter to the editor, I'd sign my name to it. And you didn't answer my question, which campus do you teach at? [ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-11 18:28 ]"
Eudora,
Are you editing the posts because of legal pressure from hyde? Do you log ip address against posts? My concern is that if you have ip addresses log and linked to posts there is not real anonymity if hyde hires a slapp lawyer.
Lars,
I am not the poster to whom you adressed your original question. I never taught at hyde. In my day only the Creme de la creme came back to teach. I was the dregs de la dregs.
Sue Doenym
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On 2006-04-11 11:21:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-11 10:50:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-06 06:36:00, Lars wrote:
"Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place."
Hmmmm. Let's see.
1. You effectively outed youself by providing tons of details about your life that made it obvious who you were. (Didn't you even provide your own name on here at one point? I haven't looked back to check.)
2. It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue.
3. Hyde contacted your parents for fundraising, and in the course of the conversation, mentioned they had spoken with you.
So where is the lack of respect for privacy? You outed yourself. They called you to talk about it. They called your parents in the ordinary course (fundraising, where you would be natural subject of the call, just like any fundraising of this sort).
Anyway, I'll bet it would rock your world to learn that Hyde contacting you was based on compassion and concern for you.
Point is, for some it may be helpful to out themselves. For others, not so much. Its a personal decision. But make no mistake, this is a public forum, and not a private AA meeting, as someone else suggested.
Hyde's actions could be consistent with either (a) a school so terrified by this board that they will stop at no lengths to put an end to it, or (b) an institution that cares about its alum, no matter how disgruntled.
You seem to have chosen (a), but provide no backup for that.
On good information, I happen to believe it was (b).
"
What is the source of your "good information"? How would you happen to know enough to say that, to use your words, "It's my understanding that Hyde contacted you as a way to reach out to you and see if you were open to a dialogue." Are you on the Hyde staff or part of the Hyde "team"?
What you say about Hyde's reasons for reaching out may be true; I have no way of knowing. My guess is that some Hyde staff are concerned and want to have the kind of dialogue you suggest for honorable reasons. In addition, my guess is that some Hyde staff are also deeply concerned and troubled by this website and are doing what they can to stop the awful PR bleeding. That's merely a hunch.
"
I notice that you haven't answered my question about the source of your information. Are you not willing to disclose the nature of your Hyde affiliation?
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Lars said
I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family."
I didn't miss the point of your original post Lars. I said in my first response that I actually agreed with you there are good reasons not to disclose one's identity here, but that it's also a personal decision. I didn't elaborate on that, but personal or not, I only agree with this to the extent one speaks of their personal experience. Acuse Hyde of a crime or mistreating others when without having the details or inside info, yes, that seems inappropriate and self-serving and worthy of challenge, including exploration of the posters bias, which requires their identity.
The concept of bias brings me back to your (secondary?) point that "Hyde doesn't respect privacy". Lars, when you were a little boy, your parents established a relationship with Hyde that focused on you. When Hyde called you recently (out of compassion) and then mentioned this to your family, that was business in the ordinary course. My issue is thus not with the primary point of your post, its how you chose to present it.
Lars said Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place.
"When Hyde figured out who I was"? Lars, you outed yourself. That was your choice. Take responsibility for it.
"They actually contacted me". What I find interesting was your use of the word "actually", as it seems to imply impropriety instead of presenting the facts about the compassionate nature of the call. And later Hyde "mentioned" your call with them to your parents. (And that's really all it was, right "mentioned"?) I have to say, big whoop there Lars. So what? You know as well as anyone that Hyde calls former parents and talks about former students. This was no surprise, and was both predictable and standard in the industry.
Your point about not wanting to share your association with Hyde with the world is valid, at least to the extent you are talking about your personal experience. Your jump to a point about Hyde not respecting privacty, based on your bizarre example which includes you outing yourself (a cry for help?), Hyde contacting you compassionately (and you leaving these details out), and then mentioning it to your parents like every fundraising group I have ever known, is unwarranted. What I find more interesting is why you make this connection, because you do it again in your latest post.
Lars said: I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family....who the hell wants to have a potential employer finding out that you've been involved with such a fucked up place?
In that Hyde actually does have "business" bringing your conversation up with your parents, it started me thinking about what was really going on for you, so here's my guess: The fact you left out was that Hyde mentioned to your parents you were posting on this site.
Your real concern is that now your parents know you are posting on this site and that fact raises a host of potential issues, as it potentially highlights your unresolved issues with them (they sent you to Hyde, right)...and you don't like that one bit, so instead of dealing with the source of your issues, you project them onto Hyde.
Just a guess. I know I wouldn't want my parents to see all of my diary-like posts I make on various sites. That's why I would never out myself (on those sites)....and if I did, then even a non-lawyer would know I can't hold anyone other than myself responsible if my post somehow ends up on the front page of the New York Times.
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"Your real concern is that now your parents know you are posting on this site and that fact raises a host of potential issues, as it potentially highlights your unresolved issues with them "
Hey that was pretty insightful for an unskilled Hyde staffer. Anger is seldom about what we think it is about. Let me know if you see anything in my posts. I always open to good free advice.
Sue Doenym
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On 2006-04-12 04:10:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-11 17:00:00, Lars wrote:
"
Hey,
It is good that you are getting in touch with your feelings. Let that anger out.
If I saw you write a letter to the editor and I knew your Mom, I might say "did you see that letter to the editor Lars wrote" What is wrong with that?
sue doenym (not my real name)"
If I wrote a letter to the editor, I'd sign my name to it. And you didn't answer my question, which campus do you teach at? [ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-11 18:28 ]"
Eudora,
Are you editing the posts because of legal pressure from hyde? Do you log ip address against posts? My concern is that if you have ip addresses log and linked to posts there is not real anonymity if hyde hires a slapp lawyer.
Lars,
I am not the poster to whom you adressed your original question. I never taught at hyde. In my day only the Creme de la creme came back to teach. I was the dregs de la dregs.
Sue Doenym"
LOL, no! I edit for formatting because I'm too lazzy to figure out why the tag counter fuckes up and renders unmatched quote tags.
Otherwise, I only edit at the request or, or at least w/ permission by, the author. In the exceedingly rare event that I wind up editing anything (or even if I refuse) because of any kind of legal pressure, I habitually squack about it in a number of ways. Here's a favorite: http://DCHFans.org/ (http://DCHFans.org/) I've found it works pretty well and highly recomend anyone who agrees to do the same. In fact, I'd be happy to add any donated autograph samples to the (slowly) growing archive at the Dewey, Cheetham & Howe Fan Website.
I keep the usual server logs. Anyone w/ a pressing need will see about making that data meaningless before divulging anything that really, requires anonymity. But, for most purposes, nobody knows anything you don't tell them explicitly, except that logging info and I'm not in the habit of sharing that.
I told all four that there are going to be some times where we don't
agree with each other, but that's OK. If this were a dictatorship, it
would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator.
--GW Büsh, CNN.com, December 18, 2000
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And thanks for bringing my full attention to this thread. It's already been worth it.
"So to all the jerks trying to get people to out themselves, get a clue. Life is not a Hyde seminar."
Lars
You cool w/ that attribution, Lars?
The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty.
-- John Adams, (1772)
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hey,
Thanks for the reasurrance. The tin foil falls off my windows some times and I am sure they are reading my thoughts, usually when I mis dose my meds.
Nice board. you are doing a nice job of kicking some asses that richly deserve kicking. The ghost of Tom Joad be with you.
Returning undef when you have a case insensitive match to coersion, is a great idea.
Sue Doenym
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On 2006-04-10 08:12:00, StephenLong wrote:
"I am not associated with Hyde, other than having been a student there. The only reason I found this website is because a friend who knows I went to Hyde sent me a link.
Opinions about what Hyde was or is like are fine. My biggest problem with the Anonymous posters are the ones who make accusations of criminal acts, but won't state their names.
If are not willing to sign your name to such an accusation, you shouldn't make it. I believe many of the posters who make such statements are just being slanderous and I want to make sure that everyone who reads the posts realize that.
Stephen Long
Hyde '81"
That's why the anonymity and confidentiality rule is a double edged sword. It's also hypocritical and deceptive from the get go. In AA and other Stepcraft sects, they frame it in the language of the well respected medical/clerical/professional tradition. In reality, the people entering into the contract are avowedly fucked up and none too good at keeping agreements, plans or even mental continence and discretion. What's the first step? Tell these admitedly untrustworthy people your most sensitive secrets and then take their advice and criticizm in the spirit of brotherly love.
Yeah, right?
So there is no meaningful protection or expectation to protect the member's legitimate privacy. But it sure is a handy tool for keeping potential marks in the dark about how it all works so they won't see it coming!
Rampant talking out in group! Often enough, the reasons people have for wanting to speak anonymously here are every bit as valid and even nearly identical to those of the founders of this Republic. Remember Publius? Extra credit, remember A Farmer?
Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense.
--Francois Marie Arouet "Voltaire", French author and playwright
-
On 2006-04-11 10:50:00, Anonymous wrote:
Anyway, I'll bet it would rock your world to learn that Hyde contacting you was based on compassion and concern for you.
At some point, the stalking laws kick in.To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
-
On 2006-04-12 17:48:00, Anonymous wrote:
Returning undef when you have a case insensitive match to coersion, is a great idea.
Why thank you!Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian sect in horror.
--Francois Marie Arouet "Voltaire", French author and playwright
-
On 2006-04-12 12:21:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Lars saidI don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family."
I didn't miss the point of your original post Lars. I said in my first response that I actually agreed with you there are good reasons not to disclose one's identity here, but that it's also a personal decision. I didn't elaborate on that, but personal or not, I only agree with this to the extent one speaks of their personal experience. Acuse Hyde of a crime or mistreating others when without having the details or inside info, yes, that seems inappropriate and self-serving and worthy of challenge, including exploration of the posters bias, which requires their identity.
The concept of bias brings me back to your (secondary?) point that "Hyde doesn't respect privacy". Lars, when you were a little boy, your parents established a relationship with Hyde that focused on you. When Hyde called you recently (out of compassion) and then mentioned this to your family, that was business in the ordinary course. My issue is thus not with the primary point of your post, its how you chose to present it.
Lars said Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place.
"When Hyde figured out who I was"? Lars, you outed yourself. That was your choice. Take responsibility for it.
"They actually contacted me". What I find interesting was your use of the word "actually", as it seems to imply impropriety instead of presenting the facts about the compassionate nature of the call. And later Hyde "mentioned" your call with them to your parents. (And that's really all it was, right "mentioned"?) I have to say, big whoop there Lars. So what? You know as well as anyone that Hyde calls former parents and talks about former students. This was no surprise, and was both predictable and standard in the industry.
Your point about not wanting to share your association with Hyde with the world is valid, at least to the extent you are talking about your personal experience. Your jump to a point about Hyde not respecting privacty, based on your bizarre example which includes you outing yourself (a cry for help?), Hyde contacting you compassionately (and you leaving these details out), and then mentioning it to your parents like every fundraising group I have ever known, is unwarranted. What I find more interesting is why you make this connection, because you do it again in your latest post.
Lars said: I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family....who the hell wants to have a potential employer finding out that you've been involved with such a fucked up place?
In that Hyde actually does have "business" bringing your conversation up with your parents, it started me thinking about what was really going on for you, so here's my guess: The fact you left out was that Hyde mentioned to your parents you were posting on this site.
Your real concern is that now your parents know you are posting on this site and that fact raises a host of potential issues, as it potentially highlights your unresolved issues with them (they sent you to Hyde, right)...and you don't like that one bit, so instead of dealing with the source of your issues, you project them onto Hyde.
Just a guess. I know I wouldn't want my parents to see all of my diary-like posts I make on various sites. That's why I would never out myself (on those sites)....and if I did, then even a non-lawyer would know I can't hold anyone other than myself responsible if my post somehow ends up on the front page of the New York Times.
"
I'll ask you again, which campus do you teach at? If you can't answer that, you have no business offering any criticism of those who choose not expose their posts to google searches. I don't care that my folks know about my posting here. In fact, I told them about it before this whole business came up. And how the fuck do you know that their calls were compassionate? The faculty member who called me spent the conversation trying to convince me that I'd really had a positive experience there. It was none of my parents' business and your inability to understand this displays an astounding degree of ignorance and lack of respect.
And your guess was wrong. I don't project anything onto Hyde. I just told it like it was. The place is an emotional toxic waste dump and a cesspool of hypocrisy and incompetence. If you don't like the way I present my views, well you know what you can do...
-
Someone wrote several times about Hyde contacting Lars out of "concern." It is that same arrogant "concern" that truly is hypocritical coming from Hyde. I know of many times when Hyde has done something terribly wrong that has hurt families yet I have never known them to reach out and try to make things right. Hyde has an arrogance that runs very deep. Their way is the right way and if you don't like it, "there is the door" but you ain't getting the check back!
I know of one family who had a terrible incident with their 15 year old daughter. Hyde clearly did not handle things correctly. This parent wrote many letters pleading with Hyde to show some concern. They wrote to Joe Gauld, Malcolm Gauld and the headmaster. Hyde blew them off!
So when you say that Hyde contacted Lars out of "concern" I sincerely doubt this based on their past patterns. I believe they contacted him to either try and get him to stop posting, or they need money from his parents.
-
On 2006-04-12 20:52:00, Lars wrote:
"
On 2006-04-12 12:21:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Lars saidI don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family."
I didn't miss the point of your original post Lars. I said in my first response that I actually agreed with you there are good reasons not to disclose one's identity here, but that it's also a personal decision. I didn't elaborate on that, but personal or not, I only agree with this to the extent one speaks of their personal experience. Acuse Hyde of a crime or mistreating others when without having the details or inside info, yes, that seems inappropriate and self-serving and worthy of challenge, including exploration of the posters bias, which requires their identity.
The concept of bias brings me back to your (secondary?) point that "Hyde doesn't respect privacy". Lars, when you were a little boy, your parents established a relationship with Hyde that focused on you. When Hyde called you recently (out of compassion) and then mentioned this to your family, that was business in the ordinary course. My issue is thus not with the primary point of your post, its how you chose to present it.
Lars said Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place.
"When Hyde figured out who I was"? Lars, you outed yourself. That was your choice. Take responsibility for it.
"They actually contacted me". What I find interesting was your use of the word "actually", as it seems to imply impropriety instead of presenting the facts about the compassionate nature of the call. And later Hyde "mentioned" your call with them to your parents. (And that's really all it was, right "mentioned"?) I have to say, big whoop there Lars. So what? You know as well as anyone that Hyde calls former parents and talks about former students. This was no surprise, and was both predictable and standard in the industry.
Your point about not wanting to share your association with Hyde with the world is valid, at least to the extent you are talking about your personal experience. Your jump to a point about Hyde not respecting privacty, based on your bizarre example which includes you outing yourself (a cry for help?), Hyde contacting you compassionately (and you leaving these details out), and then mentioning it to your parents like every fundraising group I have ever known, is unwarranted. What I find more interesting is why you make this connection, because you do it again in your latest post.
Lars said: I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family....who the hell wants to have a potential employer finding out that you've been involved with such a fucked up place?
In that Hyde actually does have "business" bringing your conversation up with your parents, it started me thinking about what was really going on for you, so here's my guess: The fact you left out was that Hyde mentioned to your parents you were posting on this site.
Your real concern is that now your parents know you are posting on this site and that fact raises a host of potential issues, as it potentially highlights your unresolved issues with them (they sent you to Hyde, right)...and you don't like that one bit, so instead of dealing with the source of your issues, you project them onto Hyde.
Just a guess. I know I wouldn't want my parents to see all of my diary-like posts I make on various sites. That's why I would never out myself (on those sites)....and if I did, then even a non-lawyer would know I can't hold anyone other than myself responsible if my post somehow ends up on the front page of the New York Times.
"
I'll ask you again, which campus do you teach at? If you can't answer that, you have no business offering any criticism of those who choose not expose their posts to google searches. I don't care that my folks know about my posting here. In fact, I told them about it before this whole business came up. And how the fuck do you know that their calls were compassionate? The faculty member who called me spent the conversation trying to convince me that I'd really had a positive experience there. It was none of my parents' business and your inability to understand this displays an astounding degree of ignorance and lack of respect.
And your guess was wrong. I don't project anything onto Hyde. I just told it like it was. The place is an emotional toxic waste dump and a cesspool of hypocrisy and incompetence. If you don't like the way I present my views, well you know what you can do..."
Hi Lars,
I want to applaud you for your honesty. I wish I knew you, for you speak from the heart and echo many of my sentiments about Hyde. It is an "emotional toxic waste dump" and I am sorry you had some of the same pain I am suffering with. I forgave, but I will never forget what Hyde did to me and my family. Yes, we allowed some of it to happen, but Hyde advertised itself as something it is not and we unfortunately put our trust in the wrong place.
Yeah, Hyde is concerned about you, as much as I am concerned about Suddam Hussein's future! Good luck to you Lars. I put Hyde behind me for years and when this board appeared, I was elated to have a place to finally vent. Wish I knew how to contact you so we could share a little more. I am hesitant to divulge too much.
-
On 2006-04-12 19:35:00, Eudora wrote:
"
On 2006-04-10 08:12:00, StephenLong wrote:
"I am not associated with Hyde, other than having been a student there. The only reason I found this website is because a friend who knows I went to Hyde sent me a link.
Opinions about what Hyde was or is like are fine. My biggest problem with the Anonymous posters are the ones who make accusations of criminal acts, but won't state their names.
If are not willing to sign your name to such an accusation, you shouldn't make it. I believe many of the posters who make such statements are just being slanderous and I want to make sure that everyone who reads the posts realize that.
Stephen Long
Hyde '81"
That's why the anonymity and confidentiality rule is a double edged sword. It's also hypocritical and deceptive from the get go. In AA and other Stepcraft sects, they frame it in the language of the well respected medical/clerical/professional tradition. In reality, the people entering into the contract are avowedly fucked up and none too good at keeping agreements, plans or even mental continence and discretion. What's the first step? Tell these admitedly untrustworthy people your most sensitive secrets and then take their advice and criticizm in the spirit of brotherly love.
Yeah, right?
So there is no meaningful protection or expectation to protect the member's legitimate privacy. But it sure is a handy tool for keeping potential marks in the dark about how it all works so they won't see it coming!
Rampant talking out in group! Often enough, the reasons people have for wanting to speak anonymously here are every bit as valid and even nearly identical to those of the founders of this Republic. Remember Publius? Extra credit, remember A Farmer?
Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense.
--Francois Marie Arouet "Voltaire", French author and playwright
"
or Silence Dogood
Sue Doenym
-
On 2006-04-12 20:57:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Someone wrote several times about Hyde contacting Lars out of "concern." It is that same arrogant "concern" that truly is hypocritical coming from Hyde. I know of many times when Hyde has done something terribly wrong that has hurt families yet I have never known them to reach out and try to make things right. Hyde has an arrogance that runs very deep. Their way is the right way and if you don't like it, "there is the door" but you ain't getting the check back!
I know of one family who had a terrible incident with their 15 year old daughter. Hyde clearly did not handle things correctly. This parent wrote many letters pleading with Hyde to show some concern. They wrote to Joe Gauld, Malcolm Gauld and the headmaster. Hyde blew them off!
So when you say that Hyde contacted Lars out of "concern" I sincerely doubt this based on their past patterns. I believe they contacted him to either try and get him to stop posting, or they need money from his parents."
Our family also had a very bad Hyde experience. When my spouse questioned some of Hyde's very inappropriate methods and practices (not in a hostile way in any respect) we were told to simply "let go" and let Hyde do its thing, even though some of what Hyde was doing was obviously negligent. We were appalled at Hyde's arrogance and discovered a number of other parents who felt exactly the same way but weren't comfortable speaking out. That's why we decided to look for another school, and we're sure glad we did.
-
On 2006-04-12 20:52:00, Lars wrote:
"
On 2006-04-12 12:21:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Lars saidI don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family."
I didn't miss the point of your original post Lars. I said in my first response that I actually agreed with you there are good reasons not to disclose one's identity here, but that it's also a personal decision. I didn't elaborate on that, but personal or not, I only agree with this to the extent one speaks of their personal experience. Acuse Hyde of a crime or mistreating others when without having the details or inside info, yes, that seems inappropriate and self-serving and worthy of challenge, including exploration of the posters bias, which requires their identity.
The concept of bias brings me back to your (secondary?) point that "Hyde doesn't respect privacy". Lars, when you were a little boy, your parents established a relationship with Hyde that focused on you. When Hyde called you recently (out of compassion) and then mentioned this to your family, that was business in the ordinary course. My issue is thus not with the primary point of your post, its how you chose to present it.
Lars said Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place.
"When Hyde figured out who I was"? Lars, you outed yourself. That was your choice. Take responsibility for it.
"They actually contacted me". What I find interesting was your use of the word "actually", as it seems to imply impropriety instead of presenting the facts about the compassionate nature of the call. And later Hyde "mentioned" your call with them to your parents. (And that's really all it was, right "mentioned"?) I have to say, big whoop there Lars. So what? You know as well as anyone that Hyde calls former parents and talks about former students. This was no surprise, and was both predictable and standard in the industry.
Your point about not wanting to share your association with Hyde with the world is valid, at least to the extent you are talking about your personal experience. Your jump to a point about Hyde not respecting privacty, based on your bizarre example which includes you outing yourself (a cry for help?), Hyde contacting you compassionately (and you leaving these details out), and then mentioning it to your parents like every fundraising group I have ever known, is unwarranted. What I find more interesting is why you make this connection, because you do it again in your latest post.
Lars said: I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family....who the hell wants to have a potential employer finding out that you've been involved with such a fucked up place?
In that Hyde actually does have "business" bringing your conversation up with your parents, it started me thinking about what was really going on for you, so here's my guess: The fact you left out was that Hyde mentioned to your parents you were posting on this site.
Your real concern is that now your parents know you are posting on this site and that fact raises a host of potential issues, as it potentially highlights your unresolved issues with them (they sent you to Hyde, right)...and you don't like that one bit, so instead of dealing with the source of your issues, you project them onto Hyde.
Just a guess. I know I wouldn't want my parents to see all of my diary-like posts I make on various sites. That's why I would never out myself (on those sites)....and if I did, then even a non-lawyer would know I can't hold anyone other than myself responsible if my post somehow ends up on the front page of the New York Times.
"
I'll ask you again, which campus do you teach at? If you can't answer that, you have no business offering any criticism of those who choose not expose their posts to google searches. I don't care that my folks know about my posting here. In fact, I told them about it before this whole business came up. And how the fuck do you know that their calls were compassionate? The faculty member who called me spent the conversation trying to convince me that I'd really had a positive experience there. It was none of my parents' business and your inability to understand this displays an astounding degree of ignorance and lack of respect.
And your guess was wrong. I don't project anything onto Hyde. I just told it like it was. The place is an emotional toxic waste dump and a cesspool of hypocrisy and incompetence. If you don't like the way I present my views, well you know what you can do..."
Lars - I applaud your candor and courage. You are a much better example of integrity than many of the people at Hyde. I don't see a shred of evidence that you're "projecting" your own issues onto Hyde. You speak from your heart and say it like it is. Whoever accused you of blaming Hyde for your own shortcomings and "issues" took their line right out of Hyde's playbook. The way that person responded to you is so predictable at Hyde, the way they try to turn the tables on you and make every criticism of Hyde YOUR issue. Hyde seems completely unwilling to own up to its own deep defects. To think that a Hyde faculty member would call you and try to convince you that you really had a positive experience there despite your own misgivings - that's the height of arrogance. Talk about invalidating, minimizing and demeaning one's critics!
-
Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!
-
On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!"
Kinda makes you wonder how hyde decides who has charater and who does not. Karma hit the Dogma on this one. Better luck next time. Thanks for playing.
Some one capable of the level of duplicity required to fake their way thru hyde is ... is ... a good canidate for the practice of law! Just kidding Lars.
sue doenym
-
On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
Not really. It makes perfect sense that someone would play the game in order to lessen the torture or tenure in one of those places. Many have done that, it's called survival. When they finally get out and have less fear of retaliation, the truth comes out.
-
On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!"
Maybe this guy called to find out why I felt the way I did, but he quickly began to try to convince me that I'd really had a great experience. So, Mr. Faculty Member, you're clearly the one who needs to get their story straight. And I didn't fake anything, I busted my ass and EARNED that diploma. Withholding one's opinions about the school in that setting isn't duplicitous, it's survival. Of course, for the Hyde folks, anyone who doesn't praise their methods "doesn't get it."
-
On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!"
Your response to Lars is very irritating. How do you know that he "played the game"? For all you know, Lars has developed new insights since leaving Hyde and now, as a mature adult, has a much better understanding of what his Hyde experience was all about. He seems incredibly sincere. I have no sense that he played the game. Rather, he now sees Hyde for what it was and is.
The only satisfaction I get reading your judgmental, confrontational post (and believe me, it's very satisfying) is that parents who are thinking about sending their kid to Hyde read your rant when they Google Hyde and discover this website; they quickly figure out that they don't want their kid surrounded by this kind of pollution. I have no doubt that your very public statements are hurting Hyde's reputation, and that's a good thing in my book.
-
On 2006-04-13 07:52:00, Lars wrote:
"
On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!"
Maybe this guy called to find out why I felt the way I did, but he quickly began to try to convince me that I'd really had a great experience. So, Mr. Faculty Member, you're clearly the one who needs to get their story straight. And I didn't fake anything, I busted my ass and EARNED that diploma. Withholding one's opinions about the school in that setting isn't duplicitous, it's survival. Of course, for the Hyde folks, anyone who doesn't praise their methods "doesn't get it." "
Doesn't surprise me that Lars was a "poster boy" for Hyde yet is now letting them know how much he hates the place and their practices. How many more of the "poster boys" are out there either hating their Hyde experience or not doing anything in life other than living off of their parents.
One kid who was featured as a "turnaround" in the Hyde newsletter has been out of Hyde for 4 years and yet is doing nothing other than sitting drinking beer and bumming around the country. Another one is living off of Mommy and Daddy's trust fund and hasn't done a thing with his life. He is following in his parents footsteps. They too live off of a trust fund and do nothing other than try to raise money for Hyde and participate in Hyde activities. They happen to be very nice people, but have clearly turned their lives over to Hyde.
-
Lars, fascinating to see how you lawyers work. Bob and weave. Deflect. But whatever you do, when you are wrong, stay off the original topic and never admit your were wrong, correct?
The question to you stands: How does a former friend calling you ONE TIME out of concern, and then Hyde calling your parents for funraising and mentioning you -- how does show that Hyde does not respect privacy?
That's all I've asked.
Now, as to antigen/antipasta whatever your name of the week is....brilliant comment to bring up anti-stalking laws! How close exactly do you think one call is? Shite, we must be right up against the edge here, dontcha think? How insightful of you. Lars, quick, call the police so they can get right on this!! Oh the humanity!!!
-
On 2006-04-13 08:51:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Lars, fascinating to see how you lawyers work. Bob and weave. Deflect. But whatever you do, when you are wrong, stay off the original topic and never admit your were wrong, correct?
The question to you stands: How does a former friend calling you ONE TIME out of concern, and then Hyde calling your parents for funraising and mentioning you -- how does show that Hyde does not respect privacy?
That's all I've asked.
Now, as to antigen/antipasta whatever your name of the week is....brilliant comment to bring up anti-stalking laws! How close exactly do you think one call is? Shite, we must be right up against the edge here, dontcha think? How insightful of you. Lars, quick, call the police so they can get right on this!! Oh the humanity!!!"
Actually, my response was pretty straitforward and you know it. Feeble lawyer bashing can't change that. They have no business discussing my feelings with my parents. I don't go to school there anymore. My conversation with my former schoolmate was a PRIVATE conversation, get it? They have a moral duty to respect that.
And you still haven't answered my question - which Hyde campus do you teach at (sure sounds like Bath)? And while we're at it, (and since, as you claim, it's not a privacy issue)which Hyde faculty member discussed the matter with you?
-
On 2006-04-13 08:39:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!"
Your response to Lars is very irritating. How do you know that he "played the game"? For all you know, Lars has developed new insights since leaving Hyde and now, as a mature adult, has a much better understanding of what his Hyde experience was all about. He seems incredibly sincere. I have no sense that he played the game. Rather, he now sees Hyde for what it was and is.
The only satisfaction I get reading your judgmental, confrontational post (and believe me, it's very satisfying) is that parents who are thinking about sending their kid to Hyde read your rant when they Google Hyde and discover this website; they quickly figure out that they don't want their kid surrounded by this kind of pollution. I have no doubt that your very public statements are hurting Hyde's reputation, and that's a good thing in my book."
How do we know Lars gamed it? He said so in a prior post.
How does hyde let that get by?
sue
-
When you're a champion caliber BSer, like Lars it's easy to pull something like that off.
Hey, your family went to Hyde, not just you...so when it comes to discussing your jerky exploits on the totally whiney website, all is fair game.
And I'm not a faculty member, I'm a graduate who feels totally duped and embarrassed that you graduated with the same piece of paper I got, when you were justtrying to survive. This is the same arguement I had with you a year ago on this page.
So do me a favor, I've already had to endure all your rationalization on the subject...so please feel free NOT to respond...I'd like to hold onto my lunch this afternoon!!
-
On 2006-04-13 09:46:00, Anonymous wrote:
"When you're a champion caliber BSer, like Lars it's easy to pull something like that off.
Hey, your family went to Hyde, not just you...so when it comes to discussing your jerky exploits on the totally whiney website, all is fair game.
And I'm not a faculty member, I'm a graduate who feels totally duped and embarrassed that you graduated with the same piece of paper I got, when you were justtrying to survive. This is the same arguement I had with you a year ago on this page.
So do me a favor, I've already had to endure all your rationalization on the subject...so please feel free NOT to respond...I'd like to hold onto my lunch this afternoon!!"
How judgmental of you to call Lars a "champion caliber BSer." From what I've read, he's just the opposite. He says it like it is. I have a feeling Lars' opinions about Hyde have changed since he left the school, and that's very threatening to you. Is it hard for you to hear all this Hyde criticism? Lars' comments are among the most accurate I've seen. His view of Hyde is very similar to mine and I finished with Hyde only about two years ago. Hyde has a ton of problems and Lars is pointing out many of them.
-
On 2006-04-13 09:46:00, Anonymous wrote:
"When you're a champion caliber BSer, like Lars it's easy to pull something like that off.
Hey, your family went to Hyde, not just you...so when it comes to discussing your jerky exploits on the totally whiney website, all is fair game.
And I'm not a faculty member, I'm a graduate who feels totally duped and embarrassed that you graduated with the same piece of paper I got, when you were justtrying to survive. This is the same arguement I had with you a year ago on this page.
So do me a favor, I've already had to endure all your rationalization on the subject...so please feel free NOT to respond...I'd like to hold onto my lunch this afternoon!!"
Embarrassed, huh? Sounds like I hit a nerve - and the confrontational disciples of Hyde don't like it when the truth is thrown back their faces. I don't B.S., kid - everything I've posted on this site is true. Seems like you don't understand what those five words are really about. Don't like what I have to say? Good. I hope you choke on it, you miserable jerkoff.[ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2006-04-13 10:19 ]
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:flame:
Help...Choking on my own vomit...HELP! HELP!!
Lars, go away.
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and don't call your elders "kid"
I could buy and sell you like the cheesy ambulance chaser you've become...
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On 2006-04-13 10:24:00, Anonymous wrote:
"and don't call your elders "kid"
I could buy and sell you like the cheesy ambulance chaser you've become..."
Yup, you hit a nerve Lars! :lol:
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Damn,
BSing! Why didn't I think of that. I was honest and got no diploma :sad: To put Gloria Gaynor and Robert Hunter in the past tense "I did survive" so bullshitting your way to a diploma is not a matter of survival.
Which brings me back to my other point in my pox on both your houses train of though: you are honest at Hyde and disagree, no cookie. You are like Lars and suck up, cookie. So unless being a spineless suck up counts as charater, hyde does not teach it. Got a come back on that Mr hyde grad?
Sue Doenym
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My cookies are tossed....
End of discussion.
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On 2006-04-13 10:24:00, Anonymous wrote:
"and don't call your elders "kid"
I could buy and sell you like the cheesy ambulance chaser you've become..."
::both::
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Promises...Promises:
"Yeah, but I've got to shut it down for the night. My posting on this board will be pretty limited from here on out. I'm going to be very busy for the foreseeable future (work, family, etc., you understand) and I've said just about all I want to say about Hyde. I needed to get some some stuff off my chest, it's not a vendetta for me. Hopefully, this board will provide a good resource for parents and students. I will check back when I can, so if anyone has any specific questions, I'll try to post something in response.
Peace. "
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On 2006-04-13 10:40:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Promises...Promises:
"Yeah, but I've got to shut it down for the night. My posting on this board will be pretty limited from here on out. I'm going to be very busy for the foreseeable future (work, family, etc., you understand) and I've said just about all I want to say about Hyde. I needed to get some some stuff off my chest, it's not a vendetta for me. Hopefully, this board will provide a good resource for parents and students. I will check back when I can, so if anyone has any specific questions, I'll try to post something in response.
Peace. ""
Now who's full of it? Read the quote, it says "limited posting" and "just about" all I wanted to say... that means a promise not to post? Now I understand the "ambulance chaser" bit, sounds like we've got someone here who couldn't get into law school. ::bangin::
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On 2006-04-13 10:25:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Damn,
BSing! Why didn't I think of that. I was honest and got no diploma :sad: To put Gloria Gaynor and Robert Hunter in the past tense "I did survive" so bullshitting your way to a diploma is not a matter of survival.
Which brings me back to my other point in my pox on both your houses train of though: you are honest at Hyde and disagree, no cookie. You are like Lars and suck up, cookie. So unless being a spineless suck up counts as charater, hyde does not teach it. Got a come back on that Mr hyde grad?
Sue Doenym"
Oh yeh. Both of you walk away after I kick sand in both of your faces. Can't stand being beat up by a girl. Typical limp dick hyde boys.
Sue
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Can't get a girl, get a Hyde boy!
Still Tossin'! ::boohoo::
Got into law...decided for medicine.
Thought I'd take advantage of myincredible bedside manner!
Oh yeah, Sue, Blow me!
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On 2006-04-13 10:49:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-13 10:25:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Damn,
BSing! Why didn't I think of that. I was honest and got no diploma :nworthy:
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HEY NOW!!!!! :em:
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On 2006-04-13 10:51:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Can't get a girl, get a Hyde boy!
Still Tossin'! ::boohoo::
Got into law...decided for medicine.
Thought I'd take advantage of myincredible bedside manner!
Oh yeah, Sue, Blow me!"
There's some charater.
Sue
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On 2006-04-13 10:52:00, Lars wrote:
"
On 2006-04-13 10:49:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-13 10:25:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Damn,
BSing! Why didn't I think of that. I was honest and got no diploma :nworthy: "
I will leave marks your wife will notice.
sue
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you started it with your "dick" comment.
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I will leave marks your wife will notice.
sue"
Would those be bruises...or scratches? :wink:
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On 2006-04-13 11:21:00, Lars wrote:
"
I will leave marks your wife will notice.
sue"
Would those be bruises...or scratches? :wink: "
Open skin from my whip.
Sue Domatrix
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oooh kay...
this is getting weirder than normal....
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Lars, in three separate posts you wrote:
Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal.
Then you wrote:
The faculty member who called me spent the conversation trying to convince me that I'd really had a positive experience there.
Finally,
On 2006-04-13 09:05:00, Lars wrote:
They have no business discussing my feelings with my parents. I don't go to school there anymore. My conversation with my former schoolmate was a PRIVATE conversation, get it? They have a moral duty to respect that.
So, first it was "Hyde" contacting you. Then it was "Hyde Faculty". Now its a "former schoolmate" and a "private conversation". Sorry man, that looks like a lot of bobbing and weaving to me. Lars, dude, if Hyde faculty contacted you, former classmate or not, given the context, I see no basis for your presumption of some obligation of privacy, moral or otherwise.
You openly identified yourself on this PUBLIC board and posted regular PUBLIC diatribes against Hyde. Even us stupid non-lawyers would expect the call to you from Hyde was part of a public discussion you started here, that continued into the halls of Hyde, and then into a phone call to you.
I could see your argument if you had requested your call to be private and Hyde agreed. Cool. Moral duty, agreed. Definitely. But absent that, I would love to hear your basis for this "moral duty". Personally, in context of a discussion you chose to make public (i.e., the posts on this board), I think it was your duty to make the phone call "private" and you failed to take the simple actions that would have achieved that goal.
Too late for that now, so why not blame Hyde for your mistakes, huh? You certainly seem to have a lot of practice at that. Now alternatively...and I'm just throwing this out here....why not just admit your pot-shot at Hyde about not respecting people's privacy was inaccurate, misleading and inappropriate?
Lars, you appear to have a long history of being an admitted lier. The progression of this discussion suggests nothing has changed on that front.
So before I sign-off for the day again, will you please tell us all the story of how you are sooooo happy and successful despite Hyde? I love that one.....
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Are there not staff that were students there at one time? That would certainly qualify as Hyde, Hyde staff and former classmate.
What's your beef? He's stated things pretty consistently and clearly and you're trying to find non-existent conflicts in his posts. He must be hitting a nerve.
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oooo..there's that nerve thing again!! ::rocker::
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OK, so you don't want to actually tell us who you are, but how about making up an alias so the posts aren't so confusing. Something along the lines of MyLifeIsScrewed&itsAllTheirFault.
I will start, from now on I will be DuckPondDiver
Trying to figure out which anonymous said what to the other anonymous makes it difficult to follow the conversation and make sense out of it.
DuckPondDiver
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On 2006-04-13 12:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Lars, in three separate posts you wrote:
Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal.
Then you wrote:
The faculty member who called me spent the conversation trying to convince me that I'd really had a positive experience there.
Finally,
On 2006-04-13 09:05:00, Lars wrote:
They have no business discussing my feelings with my parents. I don't go to school there anymore. My conversation with my former schoolmate was a PRIVATE conversation, get it? They have a moral duty to respect that.
So, first it was "Hyde" contacting you. Then it was "Hyde Faculty". Now its a "former schoolmate" and a "private conversation". Sorry man, that looks like a lot of bobbing and weaving to me. Lars, dude, if Hyde faculty contacted you, former classmate or not, given the context, I see no basis for your presumption of some obligation of privacy, moral or otherwise.
You openly identified yourself on this PUBLIC board and posted regular PUBLIC diatribes against Hyde. Even us stupid non-lawyers would expect the call to you from Hyde was part of a public discussion you started here, that continued into the halls of Hyde, and then into a phone call to you.
I could see your argument if you had requested your call to be private and Hyde agreed. Cool. Moral duty, agreed. Definitely. But absent that, I would love to hear your basis for this "moral duty". Personally, in context of a discussion you chose to make public (i.e., the posts on this board), I think it was your duty to make the phone call "private" and you failed to take the simple actions that would have achieved that goal.
Too late for that now, so why not blame Hyde for your mistakes, huh? You certainly seem to have a lot of practice at that. Now alternatively...and I'm just throwing this out here....why not just admit your pot-shot at Hyde about not respecting people's privacy was inaccurate, misleading and inappropriate?
Lars, you appear to have a long history of being an admitted lier. The progression of this discussion suggests nothing has changed on that front.
So before I sign-off for the day again, will you please tell us all the story of how you are sooooo happy and successful despite Hyde? I love that one.....
"
The faculty person and former schoolmate were one and the same, sorry if I didn't make that clear. Also, if you read my earlier posts, you would know that I don't blame Hyde for anything in life. I just think the place sucks and I hated it there. Who's lying now?
I don't lie, kid. I challenge you to find one thing that I've posted on this board that isn't true. The only liar on this board is you ("blame Hyde for your mistakes"). So sign off, you miserable bitter prick.
Life IS good...three years in third rate Maine shithole couldn't change that. ::cheers:: Too bad if that pisses you off.[ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2006-04-13 12:39 ]
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Post URL: http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... t=0#144285 (http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?topic=11272&forum=43&start=0#144285)
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On 2006-04-13 13:49:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Post URL: http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... t=0#144285 (http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?topic=11272&forum=43&start=0#144285)
"
And your point is?
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Here's my take on the referenced post. Lars had a shitty experience in there but has made a pretty good life for himself despite what he went through.
Cheers Lars! ::cheers:: :tup:
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On 2006-04-13 15:14:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Here's my take on the referenced post. Lars had a shitty experience in there but has made a pretty good life for himself despite what he went through.
Cheers Lars! ::cheers:: ::cheers::
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On 2006-04-13 15:16:00, Lars wrote:
Whoops! Thought you were the other guy trying to twist around something I said. Cheers! ::cheers:: "
Could have been, don't know. I wasn't the one that put a link up to that post. I just read it and responded. [ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-13 17:39 ]
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On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!"
Lars seems to have a very well informed opinion, being a certified good enough Hyde graduate and all. Why not just... take his word for it that he means just what he says publicly? Or, better yet, if you had questions about his public comments, why jump right in in the same public arena and ask away?
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use
--Galileo Galilei
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On 2006-04-13 07:05:00, Anonymous wrote:
Kinda makes you wonder how hyde decides who has charater and who does not. Karma hit the Dogma on this one. Better luck next time. Thanks for playing.
You wanna talk about duplicity? You just spelled it out and probably don't even know it. How duplistic is it the way all of these programs praise, unconditionally anyone who gives them all the credit for all they've accomplished in life, but when the very same person criticizes the unquestionable goodness and rightness of said program, all of a sudden not only is he obviously a fuckup in life and a total loser, but more pitiful still for blaming the Program (that just took credit for everything good in the guy's life up intil you read this)
It's enough ta make ya dizzy, I tell ya! As de dawg chases his tail...
All our liberties are due to men who, when their conscience has compelled them, have broken the laws of the land.
--William Kingdon Clifford
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On 2006-04-13 16:15:00, Eudora wrote:
"
On 2006-04-13 07:05:00, Anonymous wrote:
Kinda makes you wonder how hyde decides who has charater and who does not. Karma hit the Dogma on this one. Better luck next time. Thanks for playing.
You wanna talk about duplicity? You just spelled it out and probably don't even know it. How duplistic is it the way all of these programs praise, unconditionally anyone who gives them all the credit for all they've accomplished in life, but when the very same person criticizes the unquestionable goodness and rightness of said program, all of a sudden not only is he obviously a fuckup in life and a total loser, but more pitiful still for blaming the Program (that just took credit for everything good in the guy's life up intil you read this)
It's enough ta make ya dizzy, I tell ya! As de dawg chases his tail...
All our liberties are due to men who, when their conscience has compelled them, have broken the laws of the land.
--William Kingdon Clifford
"
That was kind of my point, you agree you good, you disagree you bad. I guess I have issues with those that agree to get by. It is really my problem. Virtue is it own reward.
sue
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On 2006-04-13 12:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
Lars, dude, if Hyde faculty contacted you, former classmate or not, given the context, I see no basis for your presumption of some obligation of privacy, moral or otherwise.
Ok, grease to the geese is gravy to the gander, right? So then should Lars call up your mommy and daddy and try and find out why you're being so mean to him in this public forum? What kind of a nut case does shit like that?
One kind. I knew a bunch of people like that over 20 years ago. Fought long and hard to maintain a grip on my sanity till eventually going to court to escape the crazy bastards.
I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God.
--Thomas Edison, American inventor
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On 2006-04-13 12:20:00, StephenLong wrote:
Trying to figure out which anonymous said what to the other anonymous makes it difficult to follow the conversation and make sense out of it.
Also makes it harder for someont to piece together clues over the long term and ID the author. May your days be joyously challenging and your words artfully true.
--Ginger Warbis
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Antigen and Eudora, you've taken a rather entertaining diologue and turned it into an unintelligable babble...
Shut the fuck up!!
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On 2006-04-14 09:08:00, Eudora wrote:
"
On 2006-04-13 12:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
Lars, dude, if Hyde faculty contacted you, former classmate or not, given the context, I see no basis for your presumption of some obligation of privacy, moral or otherwise.
Ok, grease to the geese is gravy to the gander, right? So then should Lars call up your mommy and daddy and try and find out why you're being so mean to him in this public forum? What kind of a nut case does shit like that?
One kind. I knew a bunch of people like that over 20 years ago. Fought long and hard to maintain a grip on my sanity till eventually going to court to escape the crazy bastards.
I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God.
--Thomas Edison, American inventor
"
Lar can call my Mom and Dad. He will need a necromancer to dial for him.
Sue Doenym
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On 2006-04-14 09:08:00, Eudora wrote:
"Ok, grease to the geese is gravy to the gander, right? So then should Lars call up your mommy and daddy and try and find out why you're being so mean to him in this public forum? What kind of a nut case does shit like that?"
Jeez Eudora, I had kinda hoped you were a little smarter than that, but at this point can only conclude your lack of logic skills makes you the odds on favorite to win the election for village idiot. I will try and help you...
Hyde's relationship with Lars' parents preceded Hyde's relationship with Lars.
Hyde's relationship with Lars' parents is independent of Lars, even if it relates to their mutual concern for him.
Lars has no relationship with my parents whatsoever, let alone was their relationship the way I met Lars, ergo your analogy that somehow I should be ok with Lars calling my family is WHACK.
Let me try a different analogy. Three people are friends for a long time. One day, Friend 1 finds out that Friend 2 is publicly bashing Friend 1. Friend 1 calls Friend 2 to talk about it (to no avail), and the next time Friend 1 and Friend 3 (the person who introduced Friend 1 and Friend 2) talk, it comes up in conversation.
Its really not much more complicated than that....except that Friend 1 and Friend 3 have a business relationship and talk with predictable regularity, making their communication all the more expected, natural and reasonable.
Isn't that more the case here? Anyway, at the end of the day Lars has continued to fail to identify any (moral or otherwise) basis for claiming Hyde does not respect privacy based on the example he cited.
This is the subject which Lars seems to have trouble staying on track on....possibly ADD or something like that....because he just keeps changing the topic. And you, Eudora, without any association or connection with Hyde, you just aid and abet. Wouldn't want one of your faithful followers shown to have made an unsubstantiated allegation, right? (Jeez, dare I say it....but it seems maybe you have created your own cult?)
To me, Lars seems so invested in defending his position on Hyde that even when wrong, he holds on as if his life depended on it. I'm not sure about you, but that tells me a lot about Lars (and his posts).
Sybergal
(Yes, names are good -- I will try and adhere as well....most well run websites I know won't allow anonymous posts and limit users to a single name....otherwise, as stated, its nearly impossible to have a meaningful dialogue, the site devolves to trash-talking garbage posts, and its not a big leap to guess that 99% of the posts are the same three people.)
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On 2006-04-15 00:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
Jeez Eudora, I had kinda hoped you were a little smarter than that, but at this point can only conclude your lack of logic skills makes you the odds on favorite to win the election for village idiot. I will try and help you...
That kind of stuff works well with the Rush and Bill ORielly crowd, but any one with solidly three digit IQ recognizes an ad Hominum attack as a cheap rhetorical technique and the sign of a weak argument. BTW I think Eudora is a very sharp wimmin.
Let me try a different analogy. Three people are friends for a long time. One day, Friend 1 finds out that Friend 2 is publicly bashing Friend 1. Friend 1 calls Friend 2 to talk about it (to no avail), and the next time Friend 1 and Friend 3 (the person who introduced Friend 1 and Friend 2) talk, it comes up in conversation.
I don't think it was totally wrong. I think it is pretty much like you said. The three have a relationship. With that said, I had a volunteer from Hyde call me a while back. The tentative tone in her voice was plain. I asked her about it. She said some people freak when Hyde calls. So to take Lars point of view let me change your analogy a little:
3 people/groups My parents, my crazy x boy freind, me.
I caught my x with my mothers panties over his head masturbating in the living room. I show him the door. He is a little crazy. He walks the line on the stalking thing for a while then fades away.
I post on a web site for wimmin recoving from crazy men. MY x sees it and call my parents to complain. Since my parents are pretty strait laced I never told them about the pantie fetish. My X is active in our local church as is my parents. My parent call me and ask why I am saying bad things about that nice boy that is active in our church. I am unhappy about the situation. Am I rong? The situation above is ambigious. Hyde does not do grey well. It is like I love Lucy reruns: great in black and white.
This is the subject which Lars seems to have trouble staying on track on....possibly ADD or something like that
I don't think it is ADD. Since Lars confessed to choosing his college based on soft core porn, my guess it he has some internet porn open in another browser window and it is distracting him. He is typing with one hand if you know what I mean.
Sybergal
(Yes, names are good -- I will try and adhere as well....most well run websites I know won't allow anonymous posts and limit users to a single name....otherwise, as stated, its nearly impossible to have a meaningful dialogue, the site devolves to trash-talking garbage posts, and its not a big leap to guess that 99% of the posts are the same three people.)"
I suspect that "that 99% of the posts are the same three people" and when you pose a question that is hard for them to answer they stop posting. Since Hyde ,unlike other private secondary schools, does not have an IQ bogie to gain admission, some of the folks that attended are not the brightest bulbs in the knife draw.
Sue Doenym
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On 2006-04-13 11:20:00, Anonymous wrote:
"you started it with your "dick" comment."
Is that what you got from your Hyde Charater Education? Delve down to the lowest common denominator? I was trying to goad you into reponding to my post. But I see you can not.
Sue
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Getting kind of crazy around here.
Sybergal, why don't you let us know about the total of three people posting here? I completely disagree. I see at least 10-15 styles of posting by going back a few months. Is it that you can't stand someone talking negatively about Hyde School or are you just trying to make false statements to throw potential parents off about how bad Hyde School is?
To make matters worse, Hyde has now appointed Malcolm Gaulds wife as the part time Headmaster of Woodstock campus! How bizarre is that? There are very needy and messed up kids at Hyde. Why would you put someone in charge who has to commute from one state to the other? If there are so many wonderful teachers at the Woodstock campus then why not put them in the position as Headmaster?
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On 2006-04-15 00:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-14 09:08:00, Eudora wrote:
"Ok, grease to the geese is gravy to the gander, right? So then should Lars call up your mommy and daddy and try and find out why you're being so mean to him in this public forum? What kind of a nut case does shit like that?"
Jeez Eudora, I had kinda hoped you were a little smarter than that, but at this point can only conclude your lack of logic skills makes you the odds on favorite to win the election for village idiot. I will try and help you...
Hyde's relationship with Lars' parents preceded Hyde's relationship with Lars.
Hyde's relationship with Lars' parents is independent of Lars, even if it relates to their mutual concern for him.
Lars has no relationship with my parents whatsoever, let alone was their relationship the way I met Lars, ergo your analogy that somehow I should be ok with Lars calling my family is WHACK.
Let me try a different analogy. Three people are friends for a long time. One day, Friend 1 finds out that Friend 2 is publicly bashing Friend 1. Friend 1 calls Friend 2 to talk about it (to no avail), and the next time Friend 1 and Friend 3 (the person who introduced Friend 1 and Friend 2) talk, it comes up in conversation.
Its really not much more complicated than that....except that Friend 1 and Friend 3 have a business relationship and talk with predictable regularity, making their communication all the more expected, natural and reasonable.
Isn't that more the case here? Anyway, at the end of the day Lars has continued to fail to identify any (moral or otherwise) basis for claiming Hyde does not respect privacy based on the example he cited.
This is the subject which Lars seems to have trouble staying on track on....possibly ADD or something like that....because he just keeps changing the topic. And you, Eudora, without any association or connection with Hyde, you just aid and abet. Wouldn't want one of your faithful followers shown to have made an unsubstantiated allegation, right? (Jeez, dare I say it....but it seems maybe you have created your own cult?)
To me, Lars seems so invested in defending his position on Hyde that even when wrong, he holds on as if his life depended on it. I'm not sure about you, but that tells me a lot about Lars (and his posts).
Sybergal
(Yes, names are good -- I will try and adhere as well....most well run websites I know won't allow anonymous posts and limit users to a single name....otherwise, as stated, its nearly impossible to have a meaningful dialogue, the site devolves to trash-talking garbage posts, and its not a big leap to guess that 99% of the posts are the same three people.)"
You remind of me what I hated most about Hyde - the know it all who can't make a logical argument, but simply resorts to half-assed putdowns. I answered your question about the respect for privacy. The fact that Hyde may have relationship with my parents does not justify conveying any information about my conversation with a former classmate/faculty member. Their relationship with my parents did not precede their relationship with me and at this point, is entirely independent of any relationship they have with me. That means they have no business discussing my feelings about the place with them. You've failed to to come up with a single reason why my interaction with anyone from the school is fair game for them to bring up with my folks.
Good thing you're not a lawyer. Our profession requires reasoning skills AND a respect for privacy. You have neither.
[ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2006-04-15 11:39 ][ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2006-04-15 11:40 ]
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On 2006-04-15 11:28:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Getting kind of crazy around here.
Sybergal, why don't you let us know about the total of three people posting here? I completely disagree. I see at least 10-15 styles of posting by going back a few months. Is it that you can't stand someone talking negatively about Hyde School or are you just trying to make false statements to throw potential parents off about how bad Hyde School is?
To make matters worse, Hyde has now appointed Malcolm Gaulds wife as the part time Headmaster of Woodstock campus! How bizarre is that? There are very needy and messed up kids at Hyde. Why would you put someone in charge who has to commute from one state to the other? If there are so many wonderful teachers at the Woodstock campus then why not put them in the position as Headmaster?
"
I suppose having Malcolm Gauld's wife take over at Woodstock helps the Gauld family continue its tight control over the operation. This takes the Hyde incest to a new level. This may not be a monopoly in the formal sense, but it's close. I guess there's not much chance that Hyde will let any outside air in, which means that the school will likely continue its ways. All the more reason to look somewhere else for the right school for your kid.
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hyde let outside air in once and nearly put the place outta business.
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On 2006-04-15 11:28:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Getting kind of crazy around here.
Sybergal, why don't you let us know about the total of three people posting here? I completely disagree. I see at least 10-15 styles of posting by going back a few months. Is it that you can't stand someone talking negatively about Hyde School or are you just trying to make false statements to throw potential parents off about how bad Hyde School is?
"
I don't have issues with any negative comments about Hyde, as long as they are true. No human or institution is perfect, and everyone has room for growth (and critique), including me. Just for example, I have to agree with a lot of the posts about the incest at Hyde, and I and many others have made these comments directly to Hyde.
Anyway, I had hoped that it would be obvious that since I have no way of knowing the real number of people posting here, that my reference to the three posters would be taken as an exaggeration to make a point.
There is clearly a small number of very vocal people, some with no association with Hyde (like Antigen/Eudora), that seem to provide a very high percentage of posts.
Its also not uncommom on websites like this for people to write things in a different voice with the intention of creating an illusion that there are many more people who share their opinion than actually exist.
So yes, to be clear, I did not literally mean there were only three posters....just that there is no way to know.
I actually agree with you that there are a lot of seemingly unique posts here and think your numbers a low, but without more facts, its possible (and my guess is likely) that what is presented here is a vocal minority, and more importantly, impossible to tell if the objections are statistically sinificant.
If 66% of the Hyde alum have positive experiences (many transformative), is that enough? As a moderately desperate parent, for me, it would probably be worth the risk, as long as I knew what I was getting into (that is, I also agree with some of the negative posts that Hyde may not be great at establishing expectations for the parents in advance).
In the end, my comment was part of prior comments I have given Antigen/Eudora (and supporting your comments by extension) about setting up this site so that people have to use a psuedonym and can only have one.
Sybergal "86
-
On 2006-04-15 04:42:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-15 00:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
Jeez Eudora, I had kinda hoped you were a little smarter than that, but at this point can only conclude your lack of logic skills makes you the odds on favorite to win the election for village idiot. I will try and help you...
That kind of stuff works well with the Rush and Bill ORielly crowd, but any one with solidly three digit IQ recognizes an ad Hominum attack as a cheap rhetorical technique and the sign of a weak argument. BTW I think Eudora is a very sharp wimmin.
Let me try a different analogy. Three people are friends for a long time. One day, Friend 1 finds out that Friend 2 is publicly bashing Friend 1. Friend 1 calls Friend 2 to talk about it (to no avail), and the next time Friend 1 and Friend 3 (the person who introduced Friend 1 and Friend 2) talk, it comes up in conversation.
I don't think it was totally wrong. I think it is pretty much like you said. The three have a relationship. With that said, I had a volunteer from Hyde call me a while back. The tentative tone in her voice was plain. I asked her about it. She said some people freak when Hyde calls. So to take Lars point of view let me change your analogy a little:
3 people/groups My parents, my crazy x boy freind, me.
I caught my x with my mothers panties over his head masturbating in the living room. I show him the door. He is a little crazy. He walks the line on the stalking thing for a while then fades away.
I post on a web site for wimmin recoving from crazy men. MY x sees it and call my parents to complain. Since my parents are pretty strait laced I never told them about the pantie fetish. My X is active in our local church as is my parents. My parent call me and ask why I am saying bad things about that nice boy that is active in our church. I am unhappy about the situation. Am I rong? The situation above is ambigious. Hyde does not do grey well. It is like I love Lucy reruns: great in black and white.
This is the subject which Lars seems to have trouble staying on track on....possibly ADD or something like that
I don't think it is ADD. Since Lars confessed to choosing his college based on soft core porn, my guess it he has some internet porn open in another browser window and it is distracting him. He is typing with one hand if you know what I mean.
Sybergal
(Yes, names are good -- I will try and adhere as well....most well run websites I know won't allow anonymous posts and limit users to a single name....otherwise, as stated, its nearly impossible to have a meaningful dialogue, the site devolves to trash-talking garbage posts, and its not a big leap to guess that 99% of the posts are the same three people.)"
I suspect that "that 99% of the posts are the same three people" and when you pose a question that is hard for them to answer they stop posting. Since Hyde ,unlike other private secondary schools, does not have an IQ bogie to gain admission, some of the folks that attended are not the brightest bulbs in the knife draw.
Sue Doenym
"
Sue, I may not see eye to eye with you, but I like the thoughfulness of your posts. I was even thinking about Bill O'Reilly in this context as well, although Lars would by my Bill (not me, to you)!
Yes, my attack on Eudora/Antigen ("Drug War POW" whatever that means) was ad hominem, and may be cheap and rhetorical. I disagree ad hominem attacks are a sign of a weak argument, however, it just means I attacked the messenger and not the message.
Since I spent the rest of my post attacking the message, I think I am covered there, so the real question is, did Eudora deserve it?
Here's the thing. Eudora's life is a website she created to expose the troubled teen industry. She has now become a micro-celebrity in that area. She may be smart -- I think she is reasonably intelligent -- but she also makes a lot of posts that are irrelevant, distracting and off point.
Clearly the notion that I should be ok with Lars calling my parents is far afield of the facts at hand.
Moreso, given that she has no association or connection with Hyde other than wanting to promote it as a cult school to promote her website, I simply find her presence here unwarranted and inappropriate. (FWIW, I have called her out directly on this in posts in the past and she is non-responsive.)
So, with a distinct level of frustration that (a) she refuses to take reasonable steps to make this website more honest and meaningful, (b) she regularly jumps in on discussions she hasn't read thoroughly, and (c) often makes points that seem to have no reference in time or space, well, yes, I devolved to a comment of last resort.
As for your analogy, I think you have made some jumps in logic yourself....
You said "MY x sees it and call my parents to complain."
In the case at hand, your X called you to talk about it FIRST. Rightfully or otherwise, you weren't open to his fetish, but what didn't happen was X just calling your parents to complain. Instead, X called your parents after calling you to say, hey, our next church meeting is Sunday, are you coming....blah blah blah....and maybe even the parents asked (we don't know do we) hey, have you talked to our daughter/your X lately, we are still worried about her because she has a long documented history of telling lies, and so while we believe her about your fetish issues, we are also concerned about her still as well and given that we have worked together in the past to try and help her, just wanted to check in.
You also conclude with the fact that this person is "unhappy" about this discussion between her X and the parents. Great. That's a real emotion to which I can relate and be empathetic. But that is quite different from breaching a moral obligation of privacy. Your example turns Lars "you" statement (Hyde violated a moral obligation) into a non-judgmental "me" statement (hey, I feel hurt by this).
I have no problem with the later, as I try as hard as possible (even if I fail often) to live in the "me" statements world. If that was what he had said in his original post, we wouldn't even be having this discussion.
Cybergal "86
-
Lars wrote:
You remind of me what I hated most about Hyde - the know it all who can't make a logical argument, but simply resorts to half-assed putdowns. I answered your question about the respect for privacy. The fact that Hyde may have relationship with my parents does not justify conveying any information about my conversation with a former classmate/faculty member. Their relationship with my parents did not precede their relationship with me and at this point, is entirely independent of any relationship they have with me. That means they have no business discussing my feelings about the place with them. You've failed to to come up with a single reason why my interaction with anyone from the school is fair game for them to bring up with my folks.
Good thing you're not a lawyer. Our profession requires reasoning skills AND a respect for privacy. You have neither.
Sheesh, where to start. You attack me for making personal attacks on you....so I challenge the readers to read Lars posts from the beginning. From jumpstreet he calls me an "asshole" and "clueless" (fyi, why didn't these ad hominem attacks bother you Sue and just mine?). I waited until the seventh page of this stream (and didn't use epithets) to make an ad hominem attack on the site administrator in the same post also detailing my comments on the message itself (and not the messenger).
Now Lars, after attacking me for attacking him (and not owning his personal attacks) says I don't have the ability to reason or any respect for privacy. Huh?
Anyway, in his latest post, Lars suggests he initiated the relationship with Hyde and brought his parents there. (How else could Hyde not have a pre-existing relationship with Lars parents?) Either they brought him or he brought them, and my money is on the former. Of course, I don't know for sure, but FWIW I am willing to make a sizable wager on this one.
Lars says Hyde's "relationship with my parents...is entirely independent of any relationship they have with me." Independent, yes, unrelated, um, no, Lars. No, no, no. The whole relationship was inspired by and is completely about you. You conclusion then that "That means they have no business discussing my feelings about the place with them" thus seems to bizarre to me as to defy description.
Sybergal "86
-
Anyway, in his latest post, Lars suggests he initiated the relationship with Hyde and brought his parents there. (How else could Hyde not have a pre-existing relationship with Lars parents?) Either they brought him or he brought them, and my money is on the former. Of course, I don't know for sure, but FWIW I am willing to make a sizable wager on this one.
Lars says Hyde's "relationship with my parents...is entirely independent of any relationship they have with me." Independent, yes, unrelated, um, no, Lars. No, no, no. The whole relationship was inspired by and is completely about you. You conclusion then that "That means they have no business discussing my feelings about the place with them" thus seems to bizarre to me as to defy description.
Sybergal "86"
[/quote]
Wrong again. I did not suggest in any way that I inititiated the relationship with Hyde. Read it carefully. And just because my parents brought me to Hyde does not mean that twenty years later they have any business discussing my current feelings with them. If you can't understand that, well, you're simply not capable of understanding that once a family leaves that place, their private lives are off limits to the school. I choose to discuss the matter with my former schoolmate out of respect. I did not expect that they would actually discuss it my parents or anyone else for that matter. I had the right to expect that. Just because they had their nose in our family's business twenty years ago does not mean thay can stick their nose in it again. So fuck you and the self righteous horse you rode in on. Frankly, I'm ashamed to have graduated from a school that produces people like you.
-
Wrong Lars. Didn't you know that Hyde has the right to do whatever they want. It works one way with Hyde and it is their way or the highway!! I too am ashamed of graduating from there
-
On 2006-04-15 16:35:00, Lars wrote:
"Wrong again. I did not suggest in any way that I inititiated the relationship with Hyde."
Lars previously said: [qoute] "....Hyde may have relationship with my parents [but] Their relationship with my parents did not precede their relationship with me...." [/quote]
Lars, the way I see it, one of these statements cannot be true. If you did not initiate the relationship with Hyde, then it was your parents -- unless you want to claim Hyde knocked on your door and all three of you answered!
If you can't understand that, well, you're simply not capable of understanding that once a family leaves that place, their private lives are off limits to the school.
On what basis? Sorry Lars, this just doesn't seem like a reasonable expectation to me. I guess we will just agree to disagree.
Sybergal "86
Sybergal "86
-
It is a fact that Hyde stresses privacy and "what goes on in the room, stays in the room." Point is, Hyde morally should not be blabbing personal conversations to others. Of course it is not illegal that they spoke out of turn, but it is a matter of the hypocricy. Lars had a personal conversation with someone from Hyde and it was obviously repeated to someone else who then talked about it with his parents. Not hard to figure this one out. It was plan gossiping! If that is what Hyde wants to be known for, then fine but don't act so high and mighty that Hyde is always right and did nothing wrong. They should not have gone around gossiping if they practice what they preach.
-
Attached to the subject of the topic, you have no anonymity on this bored, people will hunt you down anyway. Believe me, if people are bitter and pissed off, and angry enough, then they will indeed find you.
-
On 2006-04-15 22:14:00, OverLordd wrote:
"Attached to the subject of the topic, you have no anonymity on this bored, people will hunt you down anyway. Believe me, if people are bitter and pissed off, and angry enough, then they will indeed find you."
More extrapolation from a bogus example. Lars outed himself and wasn't hunted down. Were you?
Certainly whether or not this was a personal conversation is subject to debate, but most assuredly, this was not a Hyde seminar where there is a collective agreement of privacy. It was an extension of a public discussion started by Lars where he had the chance to ask for it to be private and didn't.
If someone bashes me in public, trust me, my response will be public and Lars had no basis to assume anything else in his case, even though Hyde actually hasn't taken this public.
In point of fact, we have no details about how the conversation went with his parents....or for that matter who initiated the conversation about Lars "coming out" as someone who lied to his family, friends and school and now is trashing the latter in a public forum.
The only thing I know for sure is that Lars, a confessed liar and trained lawyer could have simply said, "hi friend, nice to hear from you, but before we talk further I need to know if this is on the record or off, because even if you are a friend you are also a Hyde official."
Next!
Sybergal "86
-
From jumpstreet he calls me an "asshole" and "clueless" (fyi, why didn't these ad hominem attacks bother you Sue and just mine?).
I was sucking up to the web mistress. Actually there are so many it is not possible. Also it is not really fruitful to make such a comment to most folks because they can't tell the difference.
Sue
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On 2006-04-16 04:24:00, Anonymous wrote:
" From jumpstreet he calls me an "asshole" and "clueless" (fyi, why didn't these ad hominem attacks bother you Sue and just mine?).
I was sucking up to the web mistress. Actually there are so many it is not possible. Also it is not really fruitful to make such a comment to most folks because they can't tell the difference.
Sue"
Fair play. :smile:
Sybergal "86
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On 2006-04-15 23:54:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
The only thing I know for sure is that Lars, a confessed liar and trained lawyer could have simply said, "hi friend, nice to hear from you, but before we talk further I need to know if this is on the record or off, because even if you are a friend you are also a Hyde official."
Next!
Sybergal "86"
Confesed liar, huh? Oh, I said that I lied? In fact, I challenged you to find one thing that I've posted that isn't true. So far, you haven't bothered to try.
Gotta love how the first reaction, when confronted with criticism of the school, from people who support Hyde is to attack that person's integrity. I told you before, kid, I don't lie. Calling me dishonest isn't helping you and only proves my point.
-
Confesed liar, huh? Oh, I said that I lied? In fact, I challenged you to find one thing that I've posted that isn't true. So far, you haven't bothered to try.
Gotta love how the first reaction, when confronted with criticism of the school, from people who support Hyde is to attack that person's integrity. I told you before, kid, I don't lie. Calling me dishonest isn't helping you and only proves my point."
Now your earlier quote, where you said (in connection with your time at Hyde): Withholding one's opinions about the school in that setting isn't duplicitous, it's survival.
Ignoring the continued verbal assualts like the diminutive use of the work "kid"....first let me commend you once again on the lawyerly change of topic.
You might have addressed the fact that you, a trained lawyer, didn't have the presence of mind to ask Hyde in what capacity they were calling and request it to be private.
Nope, change the topic time (again). Ok, fine, I'll go there.
Here's the deal Lars. You may have graduated, but whether you earned it is another thing all together. If you lied by omission day in and day out (hard to imagine at your depth of "hate" as you say that it wasn't comission as well, but that's really a lawyerly distinction right) how does that make you anything other than a confessed liar?
That said, we do seem to be getting closer to the issue, so I am heartened. You see, Lars my friend, you were never at Hyde, because the real Hyde experience only begins when you begin telling the the truth. If you faked your way through it, then of course you never got it.
You can call it survival, but I saw little girls there with a lot more courage than you will ever have step up to the plate and make the decision that no matter what else, they were going to trust the process and tell the truth. And keep telling the truth, even if it meant they went on 2/4, had to leave the school, go out on their own, join the military, do whatever it took.
These were little girls, Lars. And plenty of boys too.
Now, from a psychological perspective, it bears noting that when a family system is threatened, children especially will perceive that threat as a threat to their survival itself.
I say this noting that you don't appear angy at your parents talking with Hyde, just that Hyde talked with your parents (again, leaving us without any facts of how that conversation actually occurred....including the possibility that your parents initiated the discussion about your posts). But I digress from your primary tangent.
The fact of the matter is, your actual survival did not depend on telling lies, only your perceived survival. You may not want to hear this, but for those people reporting good experiences at Hyde, many (if not most) will say that a critical part of their process was getting honest. That's where the growth started, that's where changes in the family system started, and for some, that's where their life started.
Lars, there were no locks on the doors and you could have left at any time. You chose to lie to maintain your (dis)comfort level and you look like you are living in that place still today, otherwise, this board would be irrelevant to you.
Safe to say that no one will ever mistake you for Horatio Alger, nor Holden Caulfield for that matter. Just a scared little boy who chose to lie, again and again and again.
Lars, your post challenged me to find something you've posted that wasn't true. IMHO, your accusation that Hyde doesn't respect privacy was misleading to the point of deception. Denying that your parents relationship with Hyde preceded yours, more of the same. But you actually told the truth about the basis on which I made my statement that you are a confessed liar....that is, however you want to frame it, you admitted faking your way through Hyde.
What you did at Hyde wasn't just a lie then, Lars, it was a damn shame.
Anyway, I will probably not respond to any of your posts for a while if ever. I think I get you enough for this not to be a good use of my time.
You are a coward.
Happy Easter,
Sybergal "86
-
Sybergal, you obviously dont know who I am, so yes, I was hunted down, and the FBI GBI and a law suit were waiting for me at my front door.
-
On 2006-04-16 12:17:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Confesed liar, huh? Oh, I said that I lied? In fact, I challenged you to find one thing that I've posted that isn't true. So far, you haven't bothered to try.
Gotta love how the first reaction, when confronted with criticism of the school, from people who support Hyde is to attack that person's integrity. I told you before, kid, I don't lie. Calling me dishonest isn't helping you and only proves my point."
Now your earlier quote, where you said (in connection with your time at Hyde): Withholding one's opinions about the school in that setting isn't duplicitous, it's survival.
Ignoring the continued verbal assualts like the diminutive use of the work "kid"....first let me commend you once again on the lawyerly change of topic.
You might have addressed the fact that you, a trained lawyer, didn't have the presence of mind to ask Hyde in what capacity they were calling and request it to be private.
Nope, change the topic time (again). Ok, fine, I'll go there.
Here's the deal Lars. You may have graduated, but whether you earned it is another thing all together. If you lied by omission day in and day out (hard to imagine at your depth of "hate" as you say that it wasn't comission as well, but that's really a lawyerly distinction right) how does that make you anything other than a confessed liar?
That said, we do seem to be getting closer to the issue, so I am heartened. You see, Lars my friend, you were never at Hyde, because the real Hyde experience only begins when you begin telling the the truth. If you faked your way through it, then of course you never got it.
You can call it survival, but I saw little girls there with a lot more courage than you will ever have step up to the plate and make the decision that no matter what else, they were going to trust the process and tell the truth. And keep telling the truth, even if it meant they went on 2/4, had to leave the school, go out on their own, join the military, do whatever it took.
These were little girls, Lars. And plenty of boys too.
Now, from a psychological perspective, it bears noting that when a family system is threatened, children especially will perceive that threat as a threat to their survival itself.
I say this noting that you don't appear angy at your parents talking with Hyde, just that Hyde talked with your parents (again, leaving us without any facts of how that conversation actually occurred....including the possibility that your parents initiated the discussion about your posts). But I digress from your primary tangent.
The fact of the matter is, your actual survival did not depend on telling lies, only your perceived survival. You may not want to hear this, but for those people reporting good experiences at Hyde, many (if not most) will say that a critical part of their process was getting honest. That's where the growth started, that's where changes in the family system started, and for some, that's where their life started.
Lars, there were no locks on the doors and you could have left at any time. You chose to lie to maintain your (dis)comfort level and you look like you are living in that place still today, otherwise, this board would be irrelevant to you.
Safe to say that no one will ever mistake you for Horatio Alger, nor Holden Caulfield for that matter. Just a scared little boy who chose to lie, again and again and again.
Lars, your post challenged me to find something you've posted that wasn't true. IMHO, your accusation that Hyde doesn't respect privacy was misleading to the point of deception. Denying that your parents relationship with Hyde preceded yours, more of the same. But you actually told the truth about the basis on which I made my statement that you are a confessed liar....that is, however you want to frame it, you admitted faking your way through Hyde.
What you did at Hyde wasn't just a lie then, Lars, it was a damn shame.
Anyway, I will probably not respond to any of your posts for a while if ever. I think I get you enough for this not to be a good use of my time.
You are a coward.
Happy Easter,
Sybergal "86"
Wrong again. I never lied. If, by not telling the school what I thought about it is lying, well, you have a strange definition of lying. I preferred to finish school the right way and head out to college instead of living on the streets. That's not lying, that just being smart. And I busted my ass there, in sports, in seminars, in performing arts, you name it, I gave it my all. Just because I thought a lot of the process was toxic and harmful doesn't mean I didn't experience it or faked my way through it. That's the part you Hyde-loving morons don't understand. Experiencing Hyde and living the five words doesn't mean always praising the process.
As for courage and character, I've got more of it in my little finger than you'll ever have in your whole miserable being. So don't respond to my posts. You won't be missed here, you bitter, miserable sack of shit. Fuck off and die. You embody the worst of that place.
Sincerely,
A smart, honest brave person who's living what the five words really mean. And kiss my "trained lawyer ass." ::both::
-
wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?
"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.
What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.
It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.
Anyone else want to contribute?
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.
-
THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE - "Apparently of Eastern origin, it is frequently used to assert the continuity of family characteristics. Quot. 1839 implies return to one's original home. Cf. 16th century Ger. 'der Apfel fellt nicht gerne weit vom Baume,' the apple does not usually fall far from the tree." From "The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs" by John Simpson and Jennifer Speake (Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, Third Edition, 1998).
-
On 2006-04-16 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:
"wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?
"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.
What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.
It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.
Anyone else want to contribute?
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.
"
As you can see from the previous exchange, attacking one's courage and integrity is par for the course. If you don't praise the school and its methods, you weren't honest. According to the dipshit who had the temerity (and the dishonesty) to attack my integrity, I didn't earn my diploma and faked it all because I didn't denounce the school during my senior evaluations. Actually, at the time, I really tried to buy into what was going on. You can't fake what I accomplished there. The passage of years made me understand how much I truly hated it. But you can't reason with these people, and frankly, it's not worth the effort. If you don't toe their line you're a liar and a coward. Fuck 'em, I'm living my life my way...and speaking my mind.
::kma::
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On 2006-04-16 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:
"wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?
"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.
What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.
It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.
Anyone else want to contribute?
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.
"
If the shoe fits, wear it. If not throw it away.
When in doubt I will bet on the truth; still in doubt I will bet on more truth.
I will listen and not act defensively.
I will stay out of my ego as much as possible.
I will try not to take coments personally.
Etc., etc., etc.
I've had to sit through those often pointless seminars run by people who often were inept. Often it fee;s like the blind leading the blind where the only language allowed in the room is the superficial Hyde robot-speak. Some of these ideas are fine. In the hands of the typical Hyde staff this stuff is usually like water off a duck's back - no traction or substance. Often I see parents rolling their eyes at each other as the Hyde groupies go through their paces. Lots of people just play Hyde's goofy game so that their troubled kids have a place to attend school for the year.
-
On 2006-04-16 18:22:00, Lars wrote:
"
On 2006-04-16 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:
"wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?
"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.
What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.
It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.
Anyone else want to contribute?
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.
"
As you can see from the previous exchange, attacking one's courage and integrity is par for the course. If you don't praise the school and its methods, you weren't honest. According to the dipshit who had the temerity (and the dishonesty) to attack my integrity, I didn't earn my diploma and faked it all because I didn't denounce the school during my senior evaluations. Actually, at the time, I really tried to buy into what was going on. You can't fake what I accomplished there. The passage of years made me understand how much I truly hated it. But you can't reason with these people, and frankly, it's not worth the effort. If you don't toe their line you're a liar and a coward. Fuck 'em, I'm living my life my way...and speaking my mind.
::kma:: "
Yup, say anything that's critical of Hyde and they think you're a dishonest fraud. Tell Hyde staff what you really think and to them it's merely evidence that you haven't bought into the Hyde BS. The truth that Hyde refuses to hear is that there are some really smart, perceptive people out here who realize that much of what happens at Hyde is psychobabble par excellence. The Gaulds and their compatriots are really good at spin and packaging. They know how to take a few good headlines and turn them into a marketable commodity that desperate parents will buy. The wise parents quickly find out that Hyde's model is a house of cards. Hyde seems to hate people like Lars who gave it their best while at Hyde and later begin to "get it" that Hyde is a very bad school. Hyde can't handle that kind of maturity and wisdom, it's too threatening.
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On 2006-04-16 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:
"wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?
"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.
What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.
It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.
Anyone else want to contribute?
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.
"
have you read through the hyde manual or notebook that they give parents? have you read the homework assignments and exercises they use? i've seen more sophisticated material in community college courses. this hyde stuff is so superficial and dumbed down that it's insulting.
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On 2006-04-16 17:48:00, Anonymous wrote:
"THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE - "Apparently of Eastern origin, it is frequently used to assert the continuity of family characteristics. Quot. 1839 implies return to one's original home. Cf. 16th century Ger. 'der Apfel fellt nicht gerne weit vom Baume,' the apple does not usually fall far from the tree." From "The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs" by John Simpson and Jennifer Speake (Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, Third Edition, 1998). "
Hey it is the truth, whether you believe hyde is a good bad or indifferent place. Your children learn from your day to day example. when they grow up they are a relection of you. Not what you say, not what you preach, but you. Child abuse and substance abuse are heritatry for that reason, although perhaps not solely. It is really important to consider what you model and what you value thru your actions because your kids will pick it up.
It is one of the things that hyde is correct on. If your kid has a problem, you really need to look at the dynamics of the family with out regard to whether you choose hyde or not.
Hyde is likely a far different place now compared to when I went there, so I will not weight in on that score.
Sue Doenym
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On 2006-04-17 07:41:00, Anonymous wrote:
It is one of the things that hyde is correct on. If your kid has a problem, you really need to look at the dynamics of the family with out regard to whether you choose hyde or not.
One of the most cruel things you can do to your kid is to try to fix them. Moreso a whole family. It's a condemnation, a cold rejection, a damning. The fact is that the bigger part of growing up into a complete, whole person is about developing the discretion to honor and keep those things of value that our forbears had to offer while respectfully and adeptly improving on their work.
If your kid has problems, welcome to the real world. Everybody comes w/ a little extra baggage. Your kid, as we're talking about nearly grown people here, has it as his lot in life to finish the job that, for whatever reasons, you did badly. It's a right of passage that we all need. It's both foolish and cruel to lock a kid down and take away that single oportunity to come into his or her own.
Hyde is likely a far different place now compared to when I went there, so I will not weight in on that score.
Having watched rendition after rendition of this song and dance for the past 30 years or so (most of my life) I would tend to expect that it's not all that different at all. That kind of sickness is like dog kicking or wife beating. It just doesn't go away on it's own.He that will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not, is a slave.
--William Drummond (1585-1640)
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I agree locking your kid up in one of these boot camp private jails is fubar. they are worse then jails because at least if you are in the criminal justice system you have rights.
Hyde is a bit different then wasp or straight. I am actually greatful I was there. My alturnative was juvy hall, So 616 high street was not that bad. I had some good times there. If my choice was straight/wasp or a juvinile lock up, the lock up wins hands down.
Sue
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On 2006-04-18 08:58:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
I agree locking your kid up in one of these boot camp private jails is fubar. they are worse then jails because at least if you are in the criminal justice system you have rights.
Hyde is a bit different then wasp or straight. I am actually greatful I was there. My alturnative was juvy hall, So 616 high street was not that bad. I had some good times there. If my choice was straight/wasp or a juvinile lock up, the lock up wins hands down.
Sue"
same thing here. there was some really good there, and some really bad, but i always knew two things: i could always leave and go out on my own (i.e., there has never been a lock down process in Hyde's history), and chosing Hyde over juvy or being out on the road (which i did for a while) or a lock-down, was an easy decision.
hyde may also have some similarities to straight and wasp, but i know some significant differences too, and Hyde would have been an easy choice over those places as well. the fact that it had my parents examining their own lives being another big one.
anyway, i don't idealize Hyde, but i do think, on the spectrum is turned out to be a much better option than any of these other possibilities. for that matter, i am not even sure what else was out there at the time (for the money, my folks couldn't have stretched it much further).....
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It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.
Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
_________________
fka ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
return undef() if /coercion/i;
[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]
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Eudora,
It was not my parents that sent me away, it was a Judge. I had a choice. Juvy or Hyde. I picked. I am very happy with that choice. With that said I agree with what some of the detractor s have said on this board.
Sue
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On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:
"It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.
Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
_________________
fka ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
return undef() if /coercion/i;
[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]"
eudora, i didn't experience Hyde that way you describe it. i was orphaned by my family long before i went to hyde. hyde started us on a long process of change and ultimately growing together that many years later has resulted in a very open and loving relationship. i think without hyde, there are nary few places that would have forced them to grow with me, even if some or even a lot of it was either misguided or misapplied (by at least some sketchy people without a lot of training no less)!
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On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:
"Drug war POW"
Hi Eudora, can you explain the Drug war POW thing? Is there a place I can get more info on this generally??
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On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:
"It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.
Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
_________________
fka ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
return undef() if /coercion/i;
[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]"
The pressure goes a little deeper than that. When I was there in '76 Hyde used to advise parents to throw you out of the house if you didn't like Hyde.When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
William Blake
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On 2006-04-18 12:11:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Eudora,
It was not my parents that sent me away, it was a Judge. I had a choice. Juvy or Hyde. I picked. I am very happy with that choice. With that said I agree with what some of the detractor s have said on this board.
Sue"
GEEZ LOUISE, would have been nice if Hyde School told the parents that there are kids enrolled who had a choice of either Juvenile Hall, jail, or Hyde. How can they be so inconsiderate as to mix these kids together without informing parents? This is serious stuff!!
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On 2006-04-18 13:26:00, tommyfromhyde1 wrote:
"
On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:
"It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.
Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
_________________
fka ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
return undef() if /coercion/i;
[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]"
The pressure goes a little deeper than that. When I was there in '76 Hyde used to advise parents to throw you out of the house if you didn't like Hyde.When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
William Blake
"
Tom Allan, great to hear from you! I couldn't agree more and there's a related question I've been thinking abotu...is it really ever ok to toss a kid from their house before they are 18? I am thinking not. No matter how bad. Don't parents have a legal obligation to clothe and shelter kids under 18?
former outhouse dweller
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On 2006-04-18 14:27:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-18 12:11:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Eudora,
It was not my parents that sent me away, it was a Judge. I had a choice. Juvy or Hyde. I picked. I am very happy with that choice. With that said I agree with what some of the detractor s have said on this board.
Sue"
Hey,
We were the best kids at hyde. Not like that Tom Allan get who was always introuble with Milton
Sue
GEEZ LOUISE, would have been nice if Hyde School told the parents that there are kids enrolled who had a choice of either Juvenile Hall, jail, or Hyde. How can they be so inconsiderate as to mix these kids together without informing parents? This is serious stuff!!"
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On 2006-04-18 17:05:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-18 13:26:00, tommyfromhyde1 wrote:
"
On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:
"It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.
Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
_________________
fka ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
return undef() if /coercion/i;
[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]"
The pressure goes a little deeper than that. When I was there in '76 Hyde used to advise parents to throw you out of the house if you didn't like Hyde.When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
William Blake
"
Tom Allan, great to hear from you! I couldn't agree more and there's a related question I've been thinking abotu...is it really ever ok to toss a kid from their house before they are 18? I am thinking not. No matter how bad. Don't parents have a legal obligation to clothe and shelter kids under 18?
former outhouse dweller"
Mom and and Dad did shelter you .. at Hyde. Three Hots and Cot. Excersize, fresh Maine air, people to help you with your issues. What more could you want?
Sue
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On 2006-04-18 13:26:00, tommyfromhyde1 wrote:
The pressure goes a little deeper than that. When I was there in '76 Hyde used to advise parents to throw you out of the house if you didn't like Hyde.When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
William Blake
"
Oh, that's always been a part of it. W. the Seed and Straight, though, they had direct ties w/ law enforcement and the courts, so they'd first try to use that. They actually extradited me from Georgia to Florida for the "crime" of being a runaway in Florida (17 was the default age of emancipation in Ga in those days)
But, when all else failed, they did exactly that; change the locks, advice all friends and family to shun the kid and offer no support, material or otherwise, unless and until the kid "reached bottom" and "saw the light" and came back begging to be reprogrammed in exchange for that hots, cots and the fools hope of actual familial love.
It was bad enough for someone who only took a short tour through the Twilight Zone. Much harder for someone like me because my family had been in the cult for 12 years already by the time I got out. All of my older brothers and sisters scattered and I had no other friends except for school mates, teachers and such who all had been convinced that I was a heroin addict and deplorable person.
Kicking a teenaged kid out of the house is one thing. Scorching their earth for a number of years first, that's simply sadistic.
The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.
--Ferdinand Magellan, Portuguese and Spanish explorer
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On 2006-04-18 17:05:00, Anonymous wrote:
Tom Allan, great to hear from you! I couldn't agree more and there's a related question I've been thinking abotu...is it really ever ok to toss a kid from their house before they are 18? I am thinking not. No matter how bad. Don't parents have a legal obligation to clothe and shelter kids under 18?
former outhouse dweller"
I don't think that there were any specific laws against throwing your kids out in the '70s. Some states passed "throwaway" laws in the '80s.A fundamentalist Christian President who claims God told him to invade Iraq ? an act that killed more than 150,000 civilians, mostly women and children ? is not that much different from a fundamentalist Islamic fanatic who claims it is the will of Allah that he send young men to America to crash airliners into office buildings and kill 3,000 plus.
DOUG THOMPSON
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On 2006-04-19 03:15:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-18 17:05:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
On 2006-04-18 13:26:00, tommyfromhyde1 wrote:
"
On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:
"It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.
Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
_________________
fka ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
return undef() if /coercion/i;
[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]"
The pressure goes a little deeper than that. When I was there in '76 Hyde used to advise parents to throw you out of the house if you didn't like Hyde.When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
William Blake
"
Tom Allan, great to hear from you! I couldn't agree more and there's a related question I've been thinking abotu...is it really ever ok to toss a kid from their house before they are 18? I am thinking not. No matter how bad. Don't parents have a legal obligation to clothe and shelter kids under 18?
former outhouse dweller"
Mom and and Dad did shelter you .. at Hyde. Three Hots and Cot. Excersize, fresh Maine air, people to help you with your issues. What more could you want?
Sue"
:grin: