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Identifying a Pathological Liar
Pathological liars, or "mythomaniacs," may be suffering from histrionic personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. The following comments basically reflect a pathological liar who has the characteristics of histrionic personality disorder.
Some characteristics:
1. Exaggerates things that are ridiculous.
2. One-upping. Whatever you do, this person can do it better. You will never top them in their own mind, because they have a concerted need to be better than everyone else. This also applies to being right. If you try to confront an individual like this, no matter how lovingly and well-intentioned you might be - this will probably not be effective. It's threatening their fantasy of themselves, so they would rather argue with you and bring out the sharp knives than admit that there's anything wrong with them.
3. They "construct" a reality around themselves. They don't value the truth, especially if they don't see it as hurting anyone. If you call them on a lie and they are backed into a corner, they will act very defensively and say ugly things (most likely but depends on personality), but they may eventually start to act like, "Well, what's the difference? You're making a big deal out of nothing!" (again, to refocus the conversation to your wrongdoing instead of theirs).
4. Because these people don't value honesty, a lot of times they will not value loyalty. So watch what you tell them. They will not only tell others, but they will embellish to make you look worse. Their loyalty is fleeting, and because they are insecure people, they will find solace in confiding to whomever is in their favor at the moment.
5. They may be somewhat of a hypochondriac. This can come in especially useful when caught in a lie, for example, they can claim that they have been sick, or that there's some mysteriously "illness" that has them all stressed out. It's another excuse tool for their behavior.
6. Obviously, they will contradict what they say. This will become very clear over time. They usually aren't smart enough to keep track of so many lies (who would be?).
Here are some ways to tell someone is a pathological liar contributed by another FAQ Farmer:
They lie about even the smallest things. For example, saying "I brushed my teeth today," when they didn't.
They add exaggerations to every sentence.
They change their story all the time.
They act very defensively when you question their statements.
They believe what they say is true, when everyone else knows it isn't.
Here's an alternate "checklist":
Lies when it is very easy to tell the truth.
Lies to get sympathy, to look beter, to save their butt, etc.
Fools people at first but once they get to know him, no one believes anything they ever say.
May have a personality disorder.
Extremely manipulative.
Has been caught in lies repeatedly.
Never fesses up to the lies.
Is a legend in their own mind.
Here are more opinions and other input from FAQ Farmers:
I have found a few differences in pathological liar and a "slime ball" liar. Pathological liars cannot tell that they are lying they actually believe the lie as soon as it comes out of their mouth. They lie about unimportant things that don't really matter to anyone. This can be caused by mental defect but isn't always. Slime-ball liars lie about things that make them look better or embellish to get attention. They also lie to keep their butts out of trouble and to get what they want.
Here are things to ask yourself: How could this many things happen to one person? Would believe these stories if someone else told you? Think back to the beginning: you had red flags and alarms going off in you head. Learn to trust your instincts.
It is very hard to tell when one is a pathological liar. Some people just are liars and lie to lie because they can and they don't care about getting caught and aware that you know they have lied. These people care not about lying, it's no big deal. It's like "ok, so what? I lied". The pathological liar on the other hand, IS aware that they are lying BUT will go to extremes to make you believe that they are truthful. They appear to believe their own lies BUT in truth, they know their lies are just that, lies. But because their efforts are constantly backing up their lies, it appears to us that they actually believe their lies, when we eventually do find out about them and then we tend to feel sorry for these people. Then they have an excuse, "I am sick, I don't know why I lie, I believed what I was saying etc." The only truth was the fact that they don't know why they lie. Other than that it's crap. It is true that most of them have an extremely low sense of self worth and are continuously trying to make themselves feel better about THEMSELVES and this is one reason they lie. It is about them but the lies are not always set up with the purpose to hurt some one else; it's that these people feel so low about themselves they need to create ANYTHING different from the ugly reality they feel about themselves so they lie about even the most tiniest little thing. The people closest to them get sucked into these lies which sometimes start as something very trivial and then turn into something that can turn everyone involved worlds upside down and inside out.
Unmasking the pathological liar is an easier task when the pathological liar is no more than a casual acquaintence to the "un-masker." Close relationships provide camouflage for the pathological liar, and intimacy provides a heavily-fortressed breeding ground.
Other indicators: 1) Rage attacks after they realize you're questioning their lies. 2) Distraction techniques, e.g. hanging up the phone when you catch them in lie, playing word games, or even just running out of the room. After using the distraction technique, or rage attack, or sometimes both, they will pretend that nothing ever happened. They re-write history, so it never did happen in their minds. Normal people do it too, but these people take it to the extreme.
Hey there. Is this red lion by any chance? No need to answer if you'd rather not, I just had a hunch is all. When I was an admin, I would do the things that you mentioned. I know I am not the only one either (don't wanna take all the credit).
For instance, I would cite when Who was talking to himself by making an anon post saying "^^^ The Who ^^^" or something like that in attempt to cut through some of the heinous shit I saw going on right under my nose here on the TTI forum. I would also edit out the funtionally damaging shit that Niles would post, despite its comic value (sorry Niles, I just wanted to be able to read the thread.)
I was no one's 'private army' but my own; I participated as a moderator....
This is an open and free discussion forum, so I will continue posting here as long as I want. Thank you for suggestion though. I hope you gave my post some thought.
Give yourself some time here, Zen, and you will. You will get so angry because people don’t agree with your statements that you will post their name and pictures of their family and make fun of them publically. You will do this just because they disagree with you. You are almost there, but mark my word in another year if you are still posting here, you will move on and become that person.
I on the other hand can accept differences in opinions and don’t resort to threatening people if they don’t agree with me, its just not in my make up.
Methods By Which Programs Profit From Failure
There is no clear history or reason why there are programs that profit from failure. What seems clear is how the structure, policies, referral practices and the contracts found in these programs are exploitive. One parent commented, "I was desperate and exhausted and it took all my strength to send my daughter into the darkness. They make a lot of money when children run away from their program and we paid for it. These people told me that they cared and would help her."
In some cases, the marketing practices and behavior within these programs are unprofessional, unethical and border on criminal. Programs profit from their failures in four ways.
Making Internal Referrals.
Creating or Allowing a Breach of Contract.
Admitting or Keeping Children Who Fail to Thrive or Benefit.
Creating contracts that eliminate parental rights and legal recourse.
Describing the concept of "profiting from failure" in youth intervention is a complex undertaking. An operational description has not been established. In absence of a useful definition, the following examples are presented to illustrate the problem. These examples are based on a collection of real events that illustrate how a few programs profit from their failure. (The words he and she are used interchangeably in these stories.)
Example 1. The School Program Fails and then Keeps Deposits and the Balance of Tuition
Example 2. The Wilderness Program Admits Children with Problems Beyond the Scope of the Program that Require Extending the Program
"... there are too many programs that have contracts and practices that produce failures as well as leverage in favor of the program profiting from their own failure."