Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: gduncan on October 26, 2004, 12:13:00 PM
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Anyone remember these? The chance for 5th phasers to apply their awareness to the group to determine who wasn't doing well, who looked guilty, who was a candidate for splitting...
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I remember the old obs book. If memory serves me well it was a chance to "talk behind backs" and put a bunch of bullcrap observations about who seemed to be hiding in group and various other straight related lingo.
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I remember them too...made me feel like a "somebody", like the 5th phasers were so much better than the others. Hate to say it, but thats how I felt. Most of the stuff I wrote in mine was to collect info for the "rip rap" Friday night after Open Meeting.
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My wife and I still call these little notebooks "obs pads". It's shorter than "little flip up notebook".
I was never on fifth, but I remember reporting people to 5th phasers by holding up a c-shaped hand which meant concern. Then they would come and sit on your lap and write down what they told you.
Seems like a powere trip for sure.
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I never felt like somebody, but I remember thinking what a bunch of idiots the 5th phase crowd was. The whole book was a cry for more education. My fellow 5th phasers could barely read in part due to the wonderful schooling Straight offered them. The point is most of these kids had gone at least 18 months to achieve 5th phase without formal education. (I say w/o school b/c anyone who went to school while in Straight knows how much a sleep deprived stressed out emotionally wacked teenager can retain from Mrs. Soandso's english lit. class.) Not to mention all the leisure time we had to study and do homework. The obs book was a bunch of "I think John Doe is hiding something make sure he is confronted" and that my friends is absolutely how true therapy works. Always follow your hunch more than anything factual. Also remember it was acceptable to stand someone up to degrade and humiliate them all b/c Sally 5th phaser who can barely read learned to detect BS from the therapy guidelines given to her by Straight.
The obs book what a joke.
The Graduate
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:lol: It was all a joke. Glad it made ya feel important though...tsk tsk. Youll pay for it one of these days I promise.
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...and that my friends is absolutely how true therapy works. Always follow your hunch more than anything factual. Also remember it was acceptable to stand someone up to degrade and humiliate them all b/c Sally 5th phaser who can barely read learned to detect BS from the therapy guidelines given to her by Straight.
You're absolutely right, Druggie! That IS how true therapy works! And what is more important , I ask you-- being able to read and fill up your mind with useless information, puerile druggie trivia, and dangerous new ideas that would only be used by your druggie will to insure that you return to the filth and depravity of your past, or the shining gift of Awareness, (made possible by the beneficial techniques that I first practiced in Straight, Inc. and later perfected at KIDS) a quality that can be used again and again to insure that twisted, chemically whacked teenagers don't descend into the Hell of the druggie lifestyle, with its inevitable eschaton of DEATH, JAIL, OR INSANITY? Only a fool would choose education over the restoration of their sanity.....
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Reread the post...it said "I never felt important" I think in response to the 2nd post where Beth I think said she did feel better than the other phasers.
But then again any blanket threat is OK for you to throw around right? Even if it doesn't make sense...OK we will all pay someday...whatever. All b/c you don't agree? Arrogant much?
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Pay for what? The insane bullshit that I was forced to buy into as a 15 year old? After being forced to stay in a treatment program for over 2 years? It really pisses me off when I run into people who believe that if you don't think or believe the way they do then you are wrong...just like when I was there. I am so sorry that my survival skills were different than yours. I did not get out until I was almost 18 and I did what I had to to get there. I never restrained anybody, never physically attacked anybody, hell I got in trouble because I was not confrontational enough. If being a 5th phaser was all I had to hold on to for my self esteem at the time then I did it. God forgive me for buying into the bullshit and being young and not knowing any better...if you did not sacrifice yourself and stood your ground then you are (obviously) a better person that I! (Can you sense the sarcasm??) Bottom line...they convinved me that I was raped, molested, etc. and it was all my fault and I bought into it hook, line, and sinker. :flame:
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[ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2005-09-22 23:24 ]
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I already read it, and I agree with you. I don't think that because I dealt with things differently than others (and probably still do) makes my experience any better or worse than others. Right, wrong, or indifferent...it was just the way I knew to deal.
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15 to 18? You were in there a really long time, Beth 1222, you entered young and were imprisoned in a weird place during important formative years. I could not possibly fault you for feeling any certain way while you were in there, or for anything you did.
Regarding the "obs notebooks" and what someone was saying about having "hunches" that someone was lying, I think that is a big part of the brainwashing/cult thing, that the ones in authority claim to have secret knowledge about you.
I think I picked this up and had a really hard time with people afterward because I was always reading hidden thoughts they had (I thought I was), or being paranoid that they KNEW something that I had not said out loud, or could see into how I felt.
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People, people. Please remember some are sicker than others on here. Get angry if you want, but letting it go and moving on is a LOT easier around here. You are gonna read alot of intentionally inflammatory, bombastic even threatening posts. It helps me to have sympathy for the writer.
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There are two different things (originally) being spoken about here.
1. Obs book for 5th phasers. A book on the "fifth phase desk" that we (as fifth phasers) were required to write in several times a week. We were supposed to write about ourselves mostly.
2. Little obs pads that anyone who stood on the side of group had to write concerns to send up the chain of command.
As for the rest of the blah blah about power trips etc..lets remember that the kids who were "rappin and scratching" or "writing and talking" or just friggin on fifth phase didn't invent the program, they just relented to it. I don't know why I am still amazed that the narrow mindedness of other human beings, it kind of makes me sick.
::puke::
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On 2004-10-27 19:20:00, Sophie wrote:
"There are two different things (originally) being spoken about here.
1. Obs book for 5th phasers. A book on the "fifth phase desk" that we (as fifth phasers) were required to write in several times a week. We were supposed to write about ourselves mostly.
2. Little obs pads that anyone who stood on the side of group had to write concerns to send up the chain of command.
As for the rest of the blah blah about power trips etc..lets remember that the kids who were "rappin and scratching" or "writing and talking" or just friggin on fifth phase didn't invent the program, they just relented to it. I don't know why I am still amazed that the narrow mindedness of other human beings, it kind of makes me sick.
::puke:: "
Im just saying that theres gotta be alot of bad karma coming. I mean everyones an individual but Im sure each of you has a newcomer that wants to kill you....
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Everyone throughout life does something to hurt someone else. To get on this forum and say we each had a newcomer that may still want to kill us goes without saying. Who knows though maybe we feel that hostile towards some of our newcomers also. Just b/c someone never made it to 2nd doesn't mean they don't have bad karma. Just b/c I graduated doesn't mean I wouldn't like to meet some particular jackass newcomer I had again. Bad Karma isn't just for old comers.
The Graduate
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Karma ,yep, Im counting on it.
The people hated to stand at end of my row. They knew they'd have to take a withdraw request from me. :grin:
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Well said Graduate!
If one of those misbehaviors even tried to put their hands on me I would have tore their ass up!
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On 2004-10-28 07:19:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Well said Graduate!
If one of those misbehaviors even tried to put their hands on me I would have tore their ass up!"
And you would have been helping them get Straight! Glad to know I can count on you for the side of the group in the new, improved, all-ages Straight, Inc. v2.0! With Awareness like yours, well be cranking out 7 Steppers in no time! Keep working your program! Love ya!
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I know what you're saying. I was pissed when this newc I was holding onto in the parking lot decided to try to break and run. He didn't succeed in doing anything but spraining my arm.
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I'm no karma expert, but my suspicion that "bad Karma" is somehow related to "intention", and therefore I do not fear karma from my time in straight, as my intentions were pure...or at least as honorable as they could be given the circumstances. The "bad karma" I expect will come as a result of my "recovery" from straight.
I recall one ...no two incidents with anger in my heart.
1. Being seated next to a "misbehavior" who punched me in my face because my face was there. I remember this childs name and have wished very bad things for her. For this, karmic retribution is likely.
2. Having a newcomer tell me she was going to burn my house down and kill me in my sleep. (she had previously lit a mattress on fire in another program). This child did not spend the night in my home that night. The cops came to get her. I never made eye contact with her again. For this, karmic retribution is likely.
As for the rest...I feel at peace with the way I treated others.. more time than not it was better than I treated myself.
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[ This Message was edited by: Pietra on 2005-02-18 16:07 ]
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Yep, everyday !!! 6 months of that and they wern't sad to see me go.
I agree on the intention topic. I believe there were many who had no ill intetion, but some were pure evil.
I really cared about many, many people in there, especially some of my oldcomers. That is the reason I didn't try to hurt them to run.I am not a selfish person. Like Frod said about his arm, I didn't wanna do that.
Also there were times when some other misbehavior was getting it real bad, so I'd make a scene to take the attention off them.Sometimes I endured so others could have some peace.
PS, Wow, we have High jacked this thread, sorry
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Well, I sort of agree on the karma issue. I just think that karma is, by no means, sure. It's all about luck, chance and serendipity. Say you're having a bad day and snap at some nice person for no good reason at all, never even knowing that they were having a bad year themselves and, in that moment, you pushed them over the edge. You might run into them again or you may not. You might, in your old age, find yourself helpless and in the care of this mother's child, who suffered the 'kick the dog' syndrome that you helped to cause. Or, of course, you might not. Some people are just lucky that way.
People who enjoy evil do it more frequently and closer to home and are, therefore, more likely to step in their own shit.
That's why I hated writing obs more, even, than I hated being a newcomer. I'd sort of slid by without either contradicting the doctrine enough to get myself in big trouble or really taking a very active role in fucking w/ others. I remember thinking that I had to come up w/ something negative about someone once in awhile or staff would think I was being too weak or cliquing (not "clicking" !!!) w/ people. But I damned sure wanted to get out!
I hope I never really fucked anybody up. I tried not to. the war on drugs is but one manifestation, albeit a very dramatic one, of the great moral contests of our age -- the struggle between two diametrically opposed images of man: between man as responsible moral agent, 'condemned' to freedom, benefiting and suffering from the consequences of his actions; and man as irresponsible child, unfit for freedom, 'protected' from its risks by agents of the omnicompetent state.
--Thomas Szasz
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People who enjoy evil do it more frequently and closer to home and are, therefore, more likely to step in their own shit.
This might make a nice addition to the auto-quoter..
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My mind is just positively blown by how crazy that place was. Straight broke our spirits through countless abuses before turning us into abusers. Even still we resent and have little compassion for those on the "phase" above us. Each phase brought its very own version of hell and the dreaded rap that went with it. The higher you got the further you had to fall; survivor of the fittest on steriods, really. The rap lasted just as long but there were fewer asses to rip. Yes, that rap after Open Meeting sucked. What was it called and what was that AWFUL song that would always ring it in? The 1-3 phasers hated the fourth phasers for all that "pssting" and "flicking" and "stomping" and "snorting" but if they didn't do it the 5th phasers would have their asses. It was the same for the Obs pads (and all they represented). I remember being the only 5th phase girl FOREVER which meant that every single thing that happened on the "Girls Side" was my fault. If I didn't "handle it" appropriately I ran the risk of starting all over (what was that called?). Which, by the way, happened to me at 3rd, 4th and 5th phase. My ass was ripped every single 5th phase rap at length (by all men, no less). The truth is that as long as you're yelling at someone else it isn't you who's being yelled at. Mostly I just prayed that I'd make it through the session without starting over. That I could figure out what to say, how to stand, how to react, what to do so that they'd take mercy on me. I couldn't commence because they're weren't any other 5th phase girls. The entire Girls Side hated me because I was on 5th phase. After 15 months the thought of starting over was more than I could bear - I would have done anything to get out of there. Including whatever I had to do with the obs pad.
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I hated the "OBS pads" I lived in fear that the 5th phaser writing in it was always out to get me. And for a long time it instilled a fear of what others thought of me, a need for me to gain others approval. I was either kissing ass or being mean and hateful because I didn't get it.
Today like it or not I'm just me.
Come to the woods, for here is rest. There is no repose like that of the green deep woods. Here grow the wallflower and the violet. The squirrel will come and sit upon your knee, the logcock will wake you in the morning. Sleep in forgetfulness of all ill. Of all the upness accessible to mortals, there is no upness comparable to the mountains.
-- John Muir
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Oh the song was, Girls and guys side, they're showing lots of pride, etc. It started out with that Na Na Na Na Na that each side would sing. I can't remember all of it. They always started that rap with that song. I don't know if I ever even knew all the words, I just sort of made up some words for part of it I think.
Starting all over was called getting started over.
I ran away after I made 3rd phase, and reading your post makes me very, sorry to say it, but grateful.
How did you finally leave, did you graduate?
PS I sent you an email.
Jane
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Oh that's right! NA NA NA NA..... *shudder* Yes, I did finally graduate. Completed aftercare and everything. Almost married a counselor, in fact. Then I realized, uh, I'm neither a drug addict nor an alcoholic. Then I actively repressed the entire experience.
Thanks, Jane, I received (and responded to) your email. I appreciate your words of welcome.
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On 2005-02-18 08:42:00, DOC SLOW wrote:
"I hated the "OBS pads" I lived in fear that the 5th phaser writing in it was always out to get me. And for a long time it instilled a fear of what others thought of me, a need for me to gain others approval. I was either kissing ass or being mean and hateful because I didn't get it.
Today like it or not I'm just me.
Come to the woods, for here is rest. There is no repose like that of the green deep woods. Here grow the wallflower and the violet. The squirrel will come and sit upon your knee, the logcock will wake you in the morning. Sleep in forgetfulness of all ill. Of all the upness accessible to mortals, there is no upness comparable to the mountains.
-- John Muir
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obs pads???? are you serious? answers my questions on why my oldcomer would tell me i was on awol watch, because i had asked for withdrawl.....fuck them, i still got to walk out, and that fucking bitch of an oldcomer got started over or some shit.....
:exclaim: :exclaim: :exclaim:
_________________
LEGALIZE IT !!!
(http://http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/Toothfairy_TP/toolani9.gif)[ This Message was edited by: groovy1634 on 2005-02-18 16:02 ]