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Messages - survivorami

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Andre pinel (class of 72)

John roger Jennings (graduated 75)

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Hyde Schools / Re: Hyde Survivor Testimonies
« on: August 18, 2022, 04:04:44 PM »
Fuck

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Current school "counselor": https://www.pfr.maine.gov/ALMSOnline/ALMSQuery/ShowDetail.aspx?DetailToken=88A15959DAD192E61870EA69A5F67235C18F7CB7AE61D1B810753D27AF212B4A

TONYA E. THURLOW
CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER

License Number:
LC18646
Status:
Active
Expiration Date:
07/31/2022
Licensed By:
Examination

CE Required By:
07/31/2022
CE Hours Required:
25

Mailing Address:
BRUNSWICK, ME 04011
History
License Type   Start Date   End Date
CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER   07/07/2020   07/31/2022

11
Hyde Schools / Podcast interview of a Hyde School Woodstock Survivor
« on: January 01, 2022, 11:49:08 PM »
Listen to this podcast where Hyde Woodstock survivor Rachel talks about her time at the school with the host of On the Emmis podcast.

Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hyde-school-survivor-part-one-rachel/id1577251845?i=1000546628677

Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0D28gDlF2fAc0Xx67CMt6z

On the Emmis Podcast Linktree: https://linktr.ee/ontheemmispod


Podcast interview of a Hyde School Woodstock Survivor #breakingcodesilence #weareunsilenced #unsilenced #troubledteenindustry #hydeschoolcomplaints #hydeschoolreviews #hydeschoolabuse #hydebath #hydeboardingschool #hydewoodstock

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Hyde Schools / Re: Hyde Survivor Testimonies
« on: December 23, 2021, 09:09:06 PM »
Hyde is a place where manipulative abusers will traumatized your children, founded by a pretentious narcissist. They may talk a good game, but their methods are oppressive and harmful. They don't care about your child's individuality, illnesses or disabilities, or neurodivergence, instead dismissing and invalidating them, and openly mock them, as well as sexuality and gender variance. They are reckless, depraved, arrogant, presumptuous, and should all be brought up on charges. I was there '92-94, I survived, barely, but others haven't. Listen to those who survived, not the parents. There are support groups for those of us who survived.

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I never read Lord of the Flies before last night. It was never assigned at Schechter or Beth Tfiloh when I was there, and my sense is that Hyde would have been idiotic to come within fifty miles of the book, lest it give their students any ideas. I'm sorry I've waited this long to read it, because beneath the simplicity - perhaps simple-mindedness - of its grim philosophical questions is a story about the torments we all face - regardless of age.

The parts of the book that will always remain with me are not the faux-cinematic spectacles of fire and blood, but the small moments of cruelty when the powerful subsume the powerless - it's a cliche that power corrupts, but power also infantilizes. It makes powerful people the least qualified to know what the best course of action is, both for themselves and the people over whom they rule. Civilization was and remains a hard-won achievement that's constantly corroded and rebuilt. If it functions properly, more and more of the powerless will gradually gain something resembling an equal footing with the powerful, and will add their natural gifts to the gifts which civilization bestows.

In other words, civilization (in this case perhaps, 'civilisation') was built for Piggy to flourish. He deserved better, and yet for every Piggy who has to endure being the victim of the work of fiction, there are billions of Piggys through human history, brought down by the brutality of the world before they had a chance to show what natural gifts they could offer to make our lives better.

I have no doubt that at that age, I'd have been a Piggy too, though perhaps without his common sense. Like all nerds from time immemorial, I had all those Ralph-like friends who turned their backs on friendship the moment it was expedient, and the sadistic Rogers who got a brief a taste of blood and became obsessed with drawing more, and oh boy did I ever know Jack Merridews - one of them even became a rabbi.

There is a cruelty about late childhood that is particular to itself, no other age can ever imitate it. You're old enough to grasp the basic conceits about right and wrong, but not old enough yet to internalize their importance. You're old enough to understand that your person and individuality can have power over others, but nowhere near old enough to internalize that power's limitations. It is an age when the terror of not understanding what you see can be all too real. I recall vividly the horrible dread I felt I was when my mother told me that in 4 billion years, the Sun would turn into a Red Giant and burn up the Earth. I still remember how terrified I was of the five foot stuffed bear that would sit right across from my bed, staring at me every night with its immobile smile - but I was too proud to tell my parents how horrifying it was. But it's also an age when you can become another kid's terror all too easily - I'm sure I was that too. There is no child too rough to never be a Piggy or a Simon, and no child too timid to never be a Jack or a Roger.

The problem is that while it gets better for us all as adults, or at least more domesticated, it doesn't get all that much better. One of the most striking details about Lord of the Flies, which I suppose you have to squint a bit to notice, is that the book portrays a dystopia within a dystopia. It takes place in some unspecified future date in which the world is already at nuclear war. The kids were not simply on a plane, they were on a rescue plane that was supposed to take them out of harm's way. For all we know, these kids were already traumatized like millions of children during the World War that occurred ten years before the book's composition in the early 50's. What happens on the island could be considered a microcosm of a world at war, and what happens to some of the characters in the book is downright merciful compared to the deaths that could await billions in a nuclear war.

Lots, far too much, is made of the symbolism and fable-like nature of these various characters: Simon seems saintly and prophetic, so perhaps he's Christ or Peter. Piggy, even with his low-class dialect, seems like a 10-year-old intellectual, so maybe he's Socrates or Galileo. Perhaps Jack is a stand-in for Hitler or a pint-sized Colonel Kurtz or even Satan himself (there's far more evidence for the latter than any other alleged symbol in the book...), and perhaps Roger is a Nazi torturer like Mengele or Dirlewanger or perhaps even a pre-teen complement to O'Brien from 1984. And perhaps the Beast can be anything from the human Id, to the primeval instinct toward fear and superstition, to our awareness of our limitations and mortality, to the burdens of history and consciousness. But to attach any particularly specific meaning to any of these characters is to completely miss the point - the point is to elicit comparisons and metaphors which are personal to each reader. If a metaphor occurs in this fable between a character and a larger figure in history or literature, that's certainly valid - and it probably will, but the point is not in what this fable means, but in wrestling with what this fable means.

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Hyde Schools / Re: Hyde Survivor Testimonies
« on: December 22, 2021, 06:51:47 PM »
More testimonies:

Hyde serves a purpose, as in a lot of kids who went wouldn't have been allowed in anywhere else, yet i am pretty dismayed that it costs as much as it does. There aren't mental health professionals on staff (along with the general attitude toward mental health), and many teachers/administrators wouldn't be qualified for public or "normal" private schools both in regards to qualifications and temperament, among other things. It was the right place for me at the time by virtue of taking me when other places wouldn't and by placing me with other kids with whom i could empathize with, but that doesn't really speak to the organization of the school itself, and it does feel exploitative that there is so much that hyde doesn't have to do, while charging parents the same prices as exeter would (and being rather misleading in recruiting of "normal" international students and certain athletes, esp when the latter are low income) just because no other options exist. The attitude toward behavior modification, along with the sheer unprofessional behavior of a considerable amount of staff, was particularly hard for me, as someone whose struggling didn't really manifest in defiance or rebellion. I was a former "gifted" child, who was misdiagnosed mental health wise at the time, and had missed the previous year of public school due to difficulties getting out of bed and the shame that came with seeing my mental health and former academic performance crumble. I think in regards to the staff, hyde sort of brought out the worst in me, and i did greatly resent them, such as michael sheehan, for berating of me for missing some class/work one week. i was always "on" before that week happened, which is classically bipolar, even if i didn't know it at the time, and i was basically the only one to always raise my hand to answer his questions in class and turn in well done assignments on time, while all the boys were basically unconscious the whole time. I know that they all had their own struggles, many of which were even greater than mine, so this is not commentary on them, but on the teacher, who was comparatively light on their general inactivity/noncommittedness, yet would not recognize that his "good" student was struggling that week. Not to mention peter bugoni, who confronted me alone, red faced, as i was working in some far off corner of the dining area, to berate me for expressing interest to the administration in switching from his regular environmental sci class to the ap version. Regardless of how i was in his classes, i was just baffled by how he would have taken that stuff so personally (both were his classes anyway) and then displaced his rage over his own inadequacies onto me for what i thought was a rather innocent request lol. As someone who had been (and still is) super respectful of teachers, to the point of sometimes misguidedly avoiding them for fear of disappointing them, hyde teachers/admin were quite the experience for me...

It sucks that they quoted my parents $36k (and not even half of the ~$54k) when i showed up for just half of a school year. But i didn't even have as horrible of an experience with staff as the people who were literally hit on/pursued by teachers (often ones who had just been hyde students themselves not that long ago and seemed to have no other employment prospects), which happened an alarming amount for the size of the woodstock location and the relatively short time that i was there.

Like, [60,000/year] is what universities and more traditional boarding schools charge, which does present a lot of accessibility issues in comparison to school rates abroad, but at least, you can expect access to various advisors and mediators on behalf of students, disability services, overwhelming course selections and campus facilities, alumni networks/recruiting, and instructors who all have advanced degrees and research/teaching experience. That only leaves the option of arguing that we were all so difficult and therefore they needed the extra tuition, but it's not like they did anything spectacular related to those things either. How much does it really cost to have some older, former hyde students acting as glorified babysitters (including mr headmaster w no adv degree felt himself)? The conservative, up by your bootstraps types who argue overwhelmingly for hyde as a school should at least find this be a terrible deal financially.

_______________________________________

Full disclosure, even though I made it out on the other side, and grew into a strong woman; as a 15-year-old, insecure child with low self-esteem... being paraded around on 2-4 (with a scarlet letter for "sex ethics") being directed to scrub floors by upperclassman really fucked me up well into my early 20's... I was a little girl who needed therapy and compassion. I'm glad I was able to push through.... still fucked up... not okay!

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I was there for 3 years and remember being shamed constantly. I remember my friends crying because their mom called them a slut on speaker phone in front of their teachers because she had sex with her boyfriend. I remember be judged up and down by two faculty IN FRONT OF BOYS every day in the bottom of Warren hall (boys lived on 1st floor wing) and being told to go back up and change because my butt stuck out or my shoulders showed or some other bs. I remember the whole school knowing the boy I was seeing had slept with someone else while I was suspended and we all went out to work together. I remember the phone calls to my parents where I had to awkwardly explain I will be missing class and doing manual labor for the next 5 days because of a perfectly healthy consensual relationship. That place was legit a failure.
_______________________________________

I remember getting drilled into by a senior my first year at the school because he was convinced I had banged some chick at the school. I had not. Then turned out after graduating with a diploma that he was dirty as hell. Feel like this is a common occurrence.


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