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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Can someone tell me what T&R is?

Thanks!

I am not sure who is spinning off who, but KHK and PFC are definately related.  KHK in Milford, is now Kids Helping Kids a Pathways Family Center.  They are completely merged now.  The transition began in 2004.  As of 2006 the following terms were being used at the KHK/PFC building

Terms- do they have these at KHK?
-phaser room - yes.  it was a room at household that we slept in.  The only thing that was allowed to be in it were mattresses and blankets.  Absolutely nothing else, so our overnight bags and everything else was piled up in the hall.  There were alarms on the doors and windows in every house that would sound if you opened them, a loud shrieking sound anytime we opened the door too early or something.  We also could only wear two articles of clothing to bed, and they couldn't be "street appropriate" (so no shirt and pants, it had to be underwear and a shirt, something that would be noticable if someone saw you walking down the street, also, socks counted as both articles of clothing)  before bed we did searches, feel around the chest area (on girls) pull down you underwear so the oldcomer could make sure you weren't stashing anything, and mouth checks.  The entire room had to be searched (oldcomers would basically have to run thier hands over everything, and shake out all blankets to make sure that phasers didn't hid anything)  and the oldcomers bed had to be pushed against the door.  

-bag checks we had to search through every article of clothing, every notebook, every possesion of newcomers every sunday.  Also, in the mornings before we went into the rap room we searched our newcomers to make sure they didn't have anything on them.  In the winter we were only allowed two sweatshirts.  

-oldcomer blocking doors in the building we had oldcomers stand in front of doors with chairs in front of them so that if someone did try to run the oldcomer could use the chair to try to stop them (never saw it happen, but that's what the staff told me they were for)  Also, at household, the oldcomer had to be between the newcomers and the door, and if the door was open, new comers had to be beltlooped.  Also, newcomers were beltlooped from the car to the house until the door was locked, the same going to the building.

-basics (1st group) first rap of the day, read out of the AA book, go over the steps, you had to have the steps, the serenity prayer, the mottos (think think think, first things first, and easy does it) and the 5 criteria for irrational thoughts (1. based on realtiy, 2.... does anyone remeber these??) memorized before you could put it for talk.  Every morning newcomers had to repeat these.  Every Sunday newcomers had to 'explain' the steps

-didactics we didn't have this at KHK, what is it?

-serious group This sounds like our Monday Night Rap where staff would confront anyone they didn't think was honest, and the whole group would gang up.  The lights were usually turned down for effect, there was lots and lots of yelling/screaming/crying during these.  You knew you were fucked when you were called for Monday Night Rap, lots of start overs and set backs.  We also had Reasons Rap on Friday after Homes had been called (not where you were sleeping, but who made what phase/talk/tr or whatever) when the staff would tell you why you didn't make the phase you put in for.  Depending on how you handle the situation you could very easily get started over or set back.  The worst part was, if you got started over, your parents wouldn't find out until after open meeting when you just didn't come home.

-what method do the restraints involve? elbow in back face pushed into floor with rug burn, sitting on them? can you remember? (it took me a while to get some memories back) We had the high low method, it took people out pretty easily.  The whole group would get excited and if it was a boy, it seemed like most of the guy oldcomers would end up on top of them by the end of it.  It was basically pin them to the ground however you could.  

-thats a rap our groups were called raps, but that phrase isn't sticking out in my memory

-honesty lists we called them something along the lines of list of things to 'bring out' (tell on yourself) in group.  Also we had insecurity lists where you would list every fucked up thing, or every bad/insecure thought about yourself in a list.  Then you get up in group and read the list to everyone.  It was supposed to help selfesteem levels and get rid of insecurities, go figure.  Did ya'll have insecurities... i.e. a staff member tells you to do an insecurty, basically you make an ass out of yourself in front of group by dancing or singing a song, whatever staff felt like, or wearing embarrasing clothing (like what we had wasn't embarrasing already)  etc.  

-coc ah, the Chain of Command.  We had to have this memorized too to make talk, and everything had to be spelled correctly.  If someone stopped working at KHK thier name had to be blacked out, like phasers who left, they no longer existed.

-oldcomer-newcomer check.

-put in to see the nurse Put in to do anything, put in for medication, (my answer to headache chains was to drink water and pray) put in to talk to staff, etc.  Never knew what was going to actually happen and what wasn't.

-15 min of dodgeball, excersice for 30 if bad (richard simmons) we had exersise rap everyday? I think? or only tuesday thursdays? Twice a week we had a program parent come in and teach step aerobics.   She was the nicest lady, i looked forward to that just to get out of the chairs for a little while

-going defiant Acting out for me too.

-started over all the way back to day one!
different types of set backs: 3 day to a week away from home (keep oldcomer status, but don't go to your house, take household somewhere else),
days frozen (one 4th or 5th phase when staff wanted to keep you there longer)  
being called in (you don't go to school or work, you stay in group, but keep your phase)
Being sat - on 5ht phase loosing the privledge to stand up and talk in group
Stuck to household - you had to stay with everyone you went home with the whole time, no seperating.  it made getting things done very difficult (but like everyone, the old comers always had to be w/ the newcomers, but if you had two old and two new, you couldn't split up)
set back a phase - or really go back as many as you need like 4th to 2nd or something
anyone remember any others?
Did anyone else have to do RSA's?  I don't remember what it stands for but it was a sheet you filled out to correct irrational thinking.  
Crazy how once you get going, the program lingo just starts flooding back.

i knew i was stuck when i realized it was the haunting dream i had had since 5th grade. same wall colors (deep depressing blue) same yellow chairs, same stained floor, same polls in center of room, same feeling! my dreams were right, intuition couldn't save me though.