Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: wdtony on October 22, 2007, 05:39:22 PM
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I thought I would start a post that takes the little rules and things that happen in these programs and one by one, state what appears to be happening and what truly is happening. I think this would be a good post for parents to see how they are being fooled.
I would ask that we post one thing at a time to keep it concise. Also, I like the, "The Appearance:, and The Truth:" approach. I hope this will make it more simple to see how the program deceives the parents and the public.
Tony
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(FORCED LIES) Parents, take notice.
The Appearance:
Over time the child begins to tell more and more about things that happened in their past such as more drugs, more illegal or dangerous activity, more sexual activity and the parents thinking is reinforced that their child was in much more trouble than previously thought and the program is definitely the answer to helping their child.
The Truth:
Behind the scenes, in the back of the building, the kid is exposed to an ongoing onslaught of deprivation, mental conditioning and abuse. Repeatedly told that if they do not confess more, they will not advance throught the program. This is a process that uses every moment of the kids life. They are also "persuaded" to remember more past druggie behaviors. If they do not remember more of what the oldcomers and staff "suggest" they will not only be stuck on first phase but will also be abused by the staff and group moreso than before. this gradual psychological eroding process takes place over weeks and months wearing the kid down until the kid will say anything to stop the mental torture.
At open meeting, I remember standing up, listing drugs that I had done (which was a lie) and telling my parents I loved them. My mother cried and was convinced that I was telling the truth and that I truly needed to be in this miracle of a place.
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Great idea for a thread wd.
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Does the T&R shine count for an appearance/reality topic? The parents LOVE it so much that they even buy the expensive polishes and all sorts of high gloss care products to maintain it.
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Does the T&R shine count for an appearance/reality topic? The parents LOVE it so much that they even buy the expensive polishes and all sorts of high gloss care products to maintain it.
Ahhhh Good ole T&R. and "The shine". The transition from a freethinking traumatized kid to a brainwashed phaser. Isn't it horrible when the highlight of your day is getting the privilege to scrub out toilets? God, how I yearned to scrub those damn toilets.
The Appearance: Kid improving.
The Truth: Kid losing mental grasp on reality.
-T
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If I recall correctly, my "shine" came with the overall realization that I had succumbed (through the use of intense brainwashing tactics) to the belief that I was indeed powerless over drugs and that I had become willing to humiliate myself on a daily basis. When it came time for homes rap, or whatever that was called, I think the staff would make the observation and then reward the apparent progress with a small reward called T&R. In the program on first phase for more than 2 months with NO rewards or any sort of dignity, this small 'promotion' or privilege as you may call it was more than welcome. In and of itself, TnR brought with it a sense of accomplishment, albeit empty and based on BULLSHIT.
At open meeting, the parents would see these robots all shiny and oiled up and that fueled their committment to ensuring that their kid would finish the program one way or another. A 'whatever it takes' mentality overcame them and they became true believers in the BULLSHIT they were told was drug treatment - phaser style.
DON'T STOP NOW! JOHNNY IS SHININ LIKE A BRAND NEW CAR!
Well, later on, in the reality part of this, Johnny drove the car into a large mudbank and nearly killed himself. In fact, he came back to this place over and over until he finally did die. A tortured soul, lost forever. TnR shine is nothing but BULLSHIT and should be considered a sign of severe psychological trauma, not some drugfreeproudtobe zealot's twisted idea of "progress". :flame:
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Honesty (aka Self-Disclosure)- The first and most important rule. Honesty meant disclosing everything that was in my head all the time- keeping no secrets from the group. Honesty meant talking in the morning about how I considered masturbating the night before & relating about how I found the strength in the first step to resist. Honesty meant talking about how "admitting that I was powerless over thoughts of self gratification" and "trusting God and Straight Inc.", I could keep myself from acting on these perverted druggie thoughts. There is a line in a Grateful Dead song that nailed this concept for me: "Honest to the point of recklessness, self-centered to the extreme". Honestly meant making self incriminating statements in group, trusting that no one would later tell the police about it. Often this resulted in Straight Inc. threatening to obtain court orders. No client could progress through Straight Inc. without adopting full self-disclosure as a way of life.
Confidentiality (aka Secrecy)- Confidentiality meant never revealing anything to anyone outside Straight Inc. about what happened inside Straight Inc. To do so meant risking the lives of all the people enrolled, past present & future. (by the Straight Inc. standard I am risking peoples sobriety by composing this website). We were told that people outside Straight Inc. would not understand. WE were told that talking to outsiders about Straight Inc. could get Straight Inc. shut down, and that we would be risking the lives of all the clients to do so. What I do, and say and hear here, remains here.
No talking behind backs-This was the ultimate tool for breaking lateral associations. Lets suppose I witnessed Jane talking to Sue about flowers, or Bill and Bob discussing departure from the program. In order to reference these events in the future I would have to say something like "I saw two female fourth phasers talking about flowers" or " I was told that two male fifth phasers were discussing ways to cop out" etc. This avoided direct reference by name to anyone. However, If I were a person in group talking to a fifth phaser about a chain of command report turning someone in for suspicious behavior or thought, then I could name names. Or if directly inquired by a staff trainee or higher I could name names. Only in very rare instances was anyone allowed to name names in front of the entire group, and then it was a dramatic incident with many upper staff members and maybe even clinicians in the room.
Knock on all doors before entering-The idea was that behind any door may be people discussing information that was not for my ears. Therefore one must never open a door and walk through it without a verbal confirmation to enter. On the other hand, when a trainee or higher approaches a door that is guarded, then the sentry would open the door for the staff member as a sign of respect.
Eat everything on your plate-This rule was often enforced in a violent and abusive way. Often the food was so unpalatable that no one wanted to eat it. But newcomers were often forced to eat what was on their plates. Sometimes we had as little as ten minutes to eat and then our food was taken away. It was dependant on the whimsy of the staff, the time constraints, and the level of intensity of the group.
Always talk about myself-This involved relating to raps with "I" Statements exclusively. "You" statements would invite criticism, repeated violations would invite hostile confrontation.
Respect the chain of command-There are really two rules here: 1. Know all the names and all the staff levels at all times. 2. Do not speak to anyone outside of the direct chain of command unless told to do so. So a newcomer would first speak to his oldcomer, who might refer him to a fifth phaser in group, who might take a note down on a small piece of paper. He could pass it along to the staff trainee on duty, or next level of staff on duty at the time, or let it wait until the regular C.O.C. pass-through time each day. At no time would any phaser engage a staff member in conversation without following the C.O.C. to do so would invite aggressive confrontation and possibly restraint in the form of a gagged mouth.
No one enters or leaves group without staff permission-This applies to every phaser. For example, I am a fourth phaser taking a newcomer back to the intake rooms, we have to stop at the guarded door and wait for staff acknowledgment to the sentry before he would allow us to exit the room. No exceptions. Only trainees or higher could walk in and out of group at will. Staff could allow for "In and Outs" for individuals involved in ongoing projects or responsibilities.
No druggie clothes or druggie ties of any kind (friends or hangouts)-This was a prohibition on anything that was a tie to a client's past. Clothing, music, pictures, names, high school yearbooks, etc. These things were all thrown away in the name of breaking these ties to the past. We were coerced and pressured into reporting all these kinds of ties via the C.O.C. Staff would report this information to parents who would dispose of clients property indiscriminately.
No druggie friends in the same foster home-No one who had done drugs together in the past, or who had common ties that were related to drugs in the past, could ever be housed together. To do so was to risk a stronger than normal lateral alliance.
No eye games- This meant that we were not to make eye contact with other people sitting in group. We were not to attempt, or respond to any attempt, to communicate via eye contact. This behavior would invite rigorous verbal assault and if continued would invite aggressive or violent physical battery.
No talking out in group- This prohibited any conversation, or utterance of any kind. The only person talking in group was the person who had been recognized by the staff. Talking out in group meant verbal assault and would regularly lead to physical battery.
Pay attention to the person talking- This meant that I was expected to intently listen to and look at the person talking at all times. Any failure to do so would result in an immediate physical assault from another group member. My face would be turned towards the person talking often against my will and in a violent fashion. Any resistance to this forced physical battery would result in a full assault by multiple clients, which typically ended with a five point restraint. Paying attention to the person talking was very important.
Newcomers wait 3 days to relate, 14 days to progress- New intakes had to wait three days in order to have the right to speak in group. It was expected that a new intake would get motivated even though if called on by staff this person would have to stand up and say "I am not allowed to relate yet" and sit back down. New intakes had to wait 14 days before they were eligible to request advancement of any kind. Talk or T&R first, eventually asking to go home (second phase).
No playing off- A classic cult lingo thing - Playing off referred to the typical adolescent process of trying to manipulate parents with strategic questions. We were strictly prohibited from asking multiple authorities the same question, we simply had to learn to value of obedience.
No talking in lines or in bathroom- Each Day we were lined up at least three times to move around. Sometimes for dinner or a rap in another room; always at night before leaving. We were never allowed to talk during these lines. We were not allowed to talk in the bathroom either. This had a dramatic long range effect on most of us- we do not talk in bathrooms. Furthermore, for years my "bathroom time" was so traumatized by this and other practices that I can not stand to have anyone in a bathroom with me, it would trigger a panic attack. A decade of my life without the pleasure of sharing a bath with my spouse.
No asking staff or fifth phasers questions during raps- In between raps, during bathroom breaks, during dinner and lunch etc, these were the times to ask fifth phasers questions. Asking staff questions just really never happened unless a staff member encouraged it during a break or meal.
Dress respectfully, no shirts with decals or letters on them in group- For us in Straight-Atlanta this was interpreted as : no blue jeans, no t-shirts, shirts with collars only, for girls it was about the same, a blouse and slacks were the way to go.
No reading, TV, radio or playing an instrument until third phase. Second phasers may read the bible.- This was at times interpreted to include the writing on a cereal box, or the label of a shampoo bottle in the shower. It is a strange thing to be completely cut of from the information in the world around you. Newcomers caught reading illicitly would face instant verbal assault and potential physical battery.
No R rated movies. No pro-drug music, radio stations or TV shows.- The funny thing is that one persons pro-drug music was another's anti-drug music. we would often sing "Fire and Rain" while in group. I used to listen to it on drugs. Of course since we had all reported our "druggie" ties and music, we could be watched to insure that we did not listen to anything that we had listened to in the past. Our ties to our own pasts were completely cut.
No make-up, jewelry, wallets, watches, belts, money or identification.-From second phase forward you can wear a belt. From third phase forward you can carry a wallet with ID and wear a watch. Third phasers may carry necessary daily funds, fourth phasers may carry $10, fifth phasers may carry $15.
No Mouthwash or Cologne- Both contained alcohol, and at anytime, anyone of us might decide to get drunk by drinking this stuff. Also these things could be used to hide the smell of drugs. Finally, this stuff was "window dressing" or "gilding the lily" and we were supposed to be focused on our "drug problem" not our bad breath or body odor.
If you are sick and in need of medical attention in the building, use the chain of command and/or the medication line; at home ask your parent or the host parent for medical assistance through your oldcomer.- Many people considered this one of the prime problems with Straight Inc. Access to a medical doctor was tenuous at best. Chain of command requests could take a day to go through. A good fifth phaser might force some through, but doing so too often could invite verbal assault. The biggest problem here, the first step in the chain of command is not a clinician or even a nurse. It was most often a kid from 15-21 years old who had to make an assessment on the fly about whether a medical complaint was valid and/or serious enough to risk being attacked himself for forcing these concerns up the chain of command. The medication line was where we could pick up our prescribed meds, but we had to have pre-approved staff permission for even an aspirin. Some oldcomers and host families saw this as meaning that giving an aspirin to a kid might cause him to cop out and do drugs again. So we were regularly denied access to over the counter medications. During colds and flu's we were not allowed to take standard cold remedies due to their alcohol content. We were not allowed to use OTC palliatives at all without a complex pre-approval process that was often unproductive. We were never allowed to carry our medications on our person. Finally, what if we did give an aspirin in a foster home and the kid had a allergic reaction ? Then what ? I still believe that many foster parents would have phoned a fifth phaser or a staff member, before calling 911.
No stopping off to or from the building, check out all stop offs- This meant that we were not allowed to stop at the store, or to get gas or any other diversion during travel to or from the building or home. We could get specific staff permission to stop off for gas or such issues on a one time basis each time we needed it. This often had to do with the risk level of our newcomers and the neighborhood of our stop-off. There was a specific lingo for requesting a stop off and it was always at the end of the night. We would get bogged down in this process of requesting our stop-offs and drop-offs. Drop-offs differed from stop-offs, a drop-off meant leaving my newcomers at someone else's house for transport to the building (like carpooling). This could get complicated if you had druggie friends or ties in the process etc. This was one of the points that full self-disclosure was a big expectation. Newcomers who identified potential problems with stop-offs and drop-offs due to druggie associations saved the staff both trouble and time.
No hitchhiking or picking up hitchhikers- DUH !
No borrowing money- Strictly forbidden and both parties involved could expect strong verbal assault.
Report all possible cop-outs- This was an essential tool for staff. Anyone who had a suspicion about another phaser could report that phaser via the chain of command. The reported phaser, who may have done nothing wrong other than expressing an undesirable thought, could expect verbal assault and a possible setback.
No talking to cop-outs, terminations or withdrawals- Anyone who had left Straight Inc. without seven stepping was off limits. This included ones own family members. Brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers were split apart because someone left early. Additionally phasers were strongly discouraged from associating with seven steppers.
Report all suspicious persons around the building or the foster home- Anyone who was hanging around the building or the foster homes would be reported. We were told that there were people who wanted to break our confidentiality and who might want to get us back onto drugs. Looking back I have to laugh at this idea. That any of my friends from Huntsville Alabama would come to Atlanta and try to get me back on drugs was a ludicrous proposition. Most of my friends, so called druggies, were moving along with their college careers and becoming fully realized people, while I was languishing in a mind control facility run by neo-puritans.
No listening to the radio or watching TV while writing your moral inventory- A moral inventory was quiet time each night and was a very important thing. Listening to the radio or watching TV would ruin the process by distraction.
No hanging out in the parking lot- We were not to hang around the building unnecessarily. If we had business or we were meeting a friend for a permission we were to get in and get out.
No lifting weights until third phase- This was to prevent any early phasers from becoming distracted from their drug problems.
No use of the telephone until fourth phase except for dime therapy on second and third phases- Literally this means that no first phaser may ever use a phone. Second and third phasers can call other phasers, failure to participate in dime therapy would lead to a setback or verbal assault. Dime therapy, the process of calling other phasers and fine tuning the compulsive confession syndrome, went on through aftercare.
No sending or receiving packages or letters, and no answering the door, until fourth phase- In theory this was to prevent our druggie friends from sending us drugs via the mail. In practice it meant that our grandparents and extended family could not write to us with their support or encouragement. Answering the door was considered dangerous, there could be old druggie friends at the door, or worse there could be trial lawyers waiting out there to help the phaser sue the program. If a neighbor came over for a cup of sugar, they would be asked to wait outside and never allowed to see the newcomers.
Maintain the anonymity of foster parents while on first phase- This related to the times that as a first phaser I earned talk with my parents. I was not to reveal the name or location of my foster home in any form. My parents were not to ask about it, nor were they to inquire about it from staff. It was a taboo topic for parents. Parents who were foster parents were not allowed to reveal who was a newcomer in their home to anyone. In this way Straight Inc. assured that no family that was new to the program could make the decision to pull their kid out in the middle of the night, or without intense confrontation from staff first. Straight Inc. was well aware that parents, in addition to clients, were more likely to "cop-out" in the first phase of the program.
A parent must be in the foster home with phasers at all times- A good idea, I have to admit this is a really good idea. Of course leaving this kids in the homes of non-clinicians was insane to start with, but at least we were not left alone with the teenage tyrants.
What I hear in staff office or the lobby remains there- Things that I overhear or aspects of conversations I have in these two areas must not be repeated.
No phasers in file room, staff office, or the executive area without staff permission- I do not recall any phaser ever entering the staff office. Phasers who self withdraw or were being terminated would get one on one counseling with the clinical staff. No phaser had any reason to enter the file room.
No knives, scissors or sharp objects around newcomers- Newcomers were in essence prisoners under constant suspicion. Many is the time I can remember someone sneaking a plastic fork or knife home to carve in their own arms or some such self abuse. In a foster home this lead to complex dramatic behavior to insure that a newcomer did not get up and run across the room, grab the knife out of the hand that feeds them and kill the foster family. Of course if these kids were really this violent they should never have been sent to a foster home in the first place.
Newcomers may not talk to each other, a oldcomer may supervise nuke-to-nuke therapy- In group as a newcomer I was too busy working on my drug problem to be giving advice to others. At home there were times when one newcomer could really help another to adapt, so oldcomers could hold little mini raps at home to let nukes talk to each other.
Banking is limited to a joint bank account with parental co-signature required for all withdrawals or checks- This really applies to third phase or higher. For some kids whose parents needed to be able to write checks in their name it was from day one.
No taking photographs of phasers or parents- Obviously this would have threatened the secrecy of the cult. Of course when straight wanted the press to take pictures of an open meeting they would let them. I seem to vaguely remember being instructed to sign a release at one time for some such media coverage.
Nobody enters or leaves executive rap- This means that if I need to use the bathroom during an exec rap that was just too bad. I should hold it till the rap is over. Exec rap typically lasted 2 hours and we were offered the chance to use the bathroom prior to the rap. But what if I didn't need to go then & had to go fifteen minutes later? Can you imagine what it is like to be told you can not go to the bathroom ? Some clients did end up soiling themselves prior to being allowed to relieve themselves.
No animals in the building- Seemingly A simple common sense rule. But I have learned since that many facilities treating adolescents have found that animals are therapeutic. Straight Inc. just didn't want us to have any kind of link to the natural world or the outside world. As flawed, twisted, morally corrupt & diseased individuals we had been privileged to ever pet an animal, and now we had to earn this right back through our suffering, self-disclosure and guilt.
Report cards must be sent through the chain of command- This meant that I was required to bring my report card to the building and turn it in to a fifth phaser. A bad grade or comment would lead to verbal assault. Often these assaults would lead to setbacks or startovers.
If you are late you make up one day for yourself and one day for each of your newcomers- Group started at a certain time each day, being on time was defined as having my newcomers and myself settled into group and ready to motivate at the start of the first rap. Being late meant that I had to spend one of my days off in group. If I had two newcomers with me, then I had to spend three of my future days off in group. Second and third phasers could loose our days off when we made fourth phase as a result of tardiness during our earlier phases. I remember one family that had a chronic tardiness problem, and this person spent the first month of his fourth phase with no days off due to being late so often as a second and third phaser.
Dime Therapy- Before going home on second phase, one must collect the phone numbers of 3 fourth phasers, 2 fifth phasers, 1 trainee and 1 junior staff member. This list would grow over time. However, as staff members departed and group members graduated, we had to remove their names and numbers from our dime therapy lists. retaining contact information about such persons was to invite confrontation.
To use dime therapy on second and third phase- I ask the parent or foster parent to dial the phone and confirm that the number reached is a phaser. Then I can talk on the phone. A parent must also answer the phone for any second or third phaser.
Permissions-Permissions must be filled out and in the box 72 hours prior to the start of the permission. Permissions have to be detailed, with all the data about who, where, when, what, why, how of the trip. A trip to the mall was a common permission. The Zoo was a big one. Eventually mixed sex permissions were also required. That was always uncomfortable for at least one or two of the kids involved. Sometimes it was the first time they had been alone with other male and female peers for years. Fifth phasers did not require a permission when accompanied by their own parents or foster parents. Fifth phasers only had to have 24 hours advance notice for a permission.
Fourth phase permissions-Fourth phase permissions must be accompanied by an parent. As fourth phasers we were working on our social skills. This was often difficult for clients at first and having an adult around was an added measure of security. I remember people flipping out about eating in a restaurant that had a bar. I remember people becoming hysterical about seeing someone drinking or smoking in public. Fourth phase permissions were therefore often approved by staff with full knowledge that the planned trip would likely be a test of the clients sobriety.
Third phasers may go outside in the yard if accompanied by a parent- This was possibly the only time in my life that I wanted to mow the grass.
Third phase work/school permission- at the beginning of third phase we got a three hour permission to go get clothing or books or register or get our job. This first permission must be with a parent, and had very limited rights. Having a luxury like a meal at a restaurant, or doing anything not directly related to the act of going back to school or work would invite intense verbal assault and most often a set back of some kind. This was often a first test of the humility and self disclosure of the client. Parents were encouraged to report the mood and behavior of these third phasers. Even requests as simple as a chocolate bar were reported to staff.
Fourth Phasers Time In- Fourth Phasers must be in the building by 6:30 on school days. Open meeting nights (Mon & Fri) at 5:30. being late would result in confrontation. Being late without a good reason would mean a setback.
Extracurricular activities- No sports or clubs until fifth phase. These activities were viewed as potential distractions from my drug problem. So ended my involvement in sports ( soccer, baseball, tennis) because of my drug treatment ? By the time I was eligible to return to my high school sports career I was so involved in Straight Inc. that spending time in group as a staff trainee was more important to me than sports. Being in control of other peoples lives is far more stimulating than being on a team.
Empathy and Sensitivity- This meant that in all my actions, I was to try and understand the emotional state of those who are relating or around me, and to be able to react to that state in a way that was consistent with the program. This could lead to profound moments of emotional connection between clients, and could also lead to vituperative attacks on non-compliant clients. A newcomer might be relating in a pat way, and an aggressive oldcomer might stand up and "apply empathy" and start yelling at the newcomer... "I was in your shoes one time, playing games, wasting time, I can empathize with you, but this is bullshit, you have to get out of your head and start working the program...etc . Empathy was used as a weapon as much as a tool in my program in Atlanta. Sensitivity, as in kindness, I do not remember much sensitivity of this kind in my days in group. I remember people poking at each other, and I remember people telling me that they were only sitting on me to be sensitive to my needs. I do not think this is what our society generally considers to be sensitive action with regard to teenagers who experiment with pot, or are victims of sexual abuse. Sensitivity also means "easily influenced, changed or damaged, esp. by a physical activity or effect" . This is certainly the definition that I would suggest applies to most survivors of Straight Inc.
Oldcomer Rules
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Oldcomers are responsible for the general supervision of a newcomer - This is far ranging statement but fails to reveal the scope of its own meaning. This meant that as an oldcomer I was responsible for all of the actions of my newcomers as well. I was responsible for seeing that the newcomer performed daily personal hygiene in detail. I was responsible for getting them to and from the building. I was responsible for seeing that they all write their MI's each night. I was responsible for seeing that they remember to bring in lunches. Every aspect of my newcomers life is my responsibility except dealing with their drug problems. That was the newcomers problem. And since I was doing everything else for them, I was going to be damn sure that my work was not wasted, I was going to insure that they complied. My own advancement on the phases was riding on this fact and I knew it.
Never turn my back on my newcomer-Newcomers were not to be trusted for even a second. At all times newcomers were to be treated as a potential threat to the lives of anyone around them, including themselves. From the first day in Straight Inc., even the first minute, everyone is brought to understand that they are a suicide threat. Within days that is internalized and the newcomer begins to believe that he or she really is a suicide threat and will confess to a suicidal ideation or similar concept as a way of gaining the groups acceptance. By never turning my back on my newcomer- I reinforce the concept all night long at home. This of course means that all newcomers must go through all daily bodily functions with some one watching their every move. No privacy, not even a second, for weeks, months and sometimes even years at time.
The oldcomer is responsible for seeing that the newcomer learns the tools for personal change (steps & signs etc) - It was my job as an oldcomer to insure that any newcomer living in the same home fully memorized the steps, signs and serenity prayer verbatim. Being one word off was not good enough, it had to be perfect. As I was taught, and so I taught many others- every word was selected for a reason and is very specific, so it is vital to memorize them correctly or it may throw the entire program off. If my newcomers failed to achieve this task in the first seven days then it would reflect most poorly on me and my foster home.
Oldcomers go over the newcomers Moral Inventory nightly - As an oldcomer I was required to review each of my newcomers Moral Inventories each night. I was to read the entire thing first while my newcomers waited quietly. Then I was to offer some feedback and enter into a therapeutic discussion with them regarding what they had written. Reviewing MI's took differing amounts of time with different newcomers. I do remember some nights staying up until 0300 or 0400 in this process. We would rise at 0600 the next day and go for twelve hours of group.
The oldcomer maintains supervision of the newcomer by the belt loop - Anytime day or night that my newcomer was outside of the main group room with me, I was expected to maintain complete physical control over them by holding onto their belt loop and the top of their pants. This involved running my middle finger through the loop and then twisting it up and over as I grab a handful of the back of the pants. In this fashion I could fairly well control exactly what the newcomer was doing. Three were foster homes who had devised ways to have certain rooms be "safe" so that oldcomers did not have to hold onto newcomers. Anytime a door was opened to the outside at a foster home the newcomers had to be restrained. This lead to thousands of episodes of chaos and stress in foster homes when a parent would return home from work or a grocery store etc. A simple knock at the door from a solicitor caused a flurry of activity as oldcomers scramble to restrain newcomers. The would generally end up in a shouted discussion to the effect of "we can't open the door".
Only fifth phasers with staff permission can be home alone - Being at home alone was for some reason considered to be truly dangerous. I guess the theory was "idle hands are the devils workshop". Even fifth phasers who spent time at home alone with any regularity faced the scrutiny of their peers or staff. Lower phasers, who sometimes had been sober and enrolled longer than the fifth phasers above them, were simply not trusted enough to allow this behavior.
Job hunting permissions and jobs must be approved by staff - All employment related actions had to have staff approval. Many kids who did go to work were employed by businesses owned by families within the program. There were clusters of phasers in jobs, once a manager got a taste of this completely respectful and obedient employee class, they would go back after more - aggressively. So employers in the area learned to tolerate the quirks of the program and come to see it as a great source of low maintenance, low cost labor.
Clients on third phase re-entering school do so on the following Thursday - This meant that no matter what a third phaser was going to spend at least three full days in group before returning to school. This was important observation time. Additionally this rule made it mandatory that a kid make a decision about school or work within 7 days of the phase change. Third phase was a transitory phase, not meant to be longer than 21 days.
Oldcomers must sleep in front of the door of the room holding newcomers - Oldcomers were required to put themselves bodily between a newcomer and the locked doors. If the room had windows large enough to climb out, then an oldcomer must be in front of the window as well.
During drop-offs insure that clients are inside the destination prior to departing - This was to prevent an oldcomer and their newcomers from being alone together. Leaving prior to their admission to the destination puts them at risk for copping out or facing a empty home or building with no way to travel. If the newcomer overpowered the oldcomer then they could be trailed in the car.
There are to be no items in a bedroom or bathroom around a newcomer that can be used as a weapon or to get high - AS above, nothing sharp, nothing with any alcohol, nothing that could be used to get high at all, and nothing that could be a weapon- that includes tooth floss, we could use it to strangle our oldcomers.
All clothes to the building 24 hours after a client leaves your home - we were supposed to deliver all clothes to the building within 24 hours of a foster home change. This was rarely achieved. For one thing these homes were often doing 3-6 loads of laundry a day, it was a nightmare, and getting someone's clothes sorted out of the pile was a struggle. We were expected to keep our names on all our clothing.
Honesty - A fifth phaser was expected to take responsibility for maintaining full self-disclosure at all times. Fifth phasers were supposed to be the strongest example of acceptable behavior to the newcomers and lower phasers. Full self-disclosure is the acceptable form of behavior in Straight Inc. Any fifth phaser who could not maintain this lifestyle without constant support of the group was immediately set back into the group to work further on the self-disclosure skills.
Empathy & Sensitivity - Holding others to this full self-disclosure standard was a vast part of the fifth phasers job. Empathy and Sensitivity were tools for the fifth phaser. Applying empathy to a newcomer on his 3rd week in group might be defined as taking him into a intake room and verbally assaulting or physically battering them into a state of "initial self disclosure", or compliance. In laymen's terms this is the process of screaming at someone, and possibly beating them, until they admit to being a drug addict. Sensitivity applied by a fifth phaser towards a fourth phaser might include noticing that the fourth phaser "nodding off" in group on a Saturday afternoon, and reporting it via Chain of Command to staff so that the fourth phaser might be confronted or set back for his infraction. This fifth phaser would have been sensitive to the other phasers condition and acted to protect their sobriety and the integrity of the group. Translation - fifth phasers were "chief snitches" who could snitch with impunity, and whose word was rarely doubted in these cases. Once again, Straight Inc took these two seemingly fantastic therapeutic values and taught children to use them in twisted Nazi-esque style.
Practice the principles of my program daily - Self-disclosure, compulsive confession, secrecy, confrontation, faith in God & Straight Inc., and rigid sexual abstinence. These were the principles that led to something that Straight Inc called "self-awareness", a daily reaffirmation of my own flawed & diseased nature.
Share gift of awareness to group - Teach, through example, the rest of the clients what it means to practice these principles. This meant that I was to relate in a completely exemplary fashion. This meant being motivated in an all consuming fashion.
Follow chain of command at all times - Fifth phasers, as the first step in the chain of command, are expected to remain constantly aware of the next step of the chain in the building. Fifth phasers are expected to be fully versed in the chain of command procedures and are responsible for passing all chain of command requests up to the next level.
Sign in on days-in at 08:30, 13:30 on Sundays - Fifth phasers had to sign in to the building each time they arrived. Fifth phasers were expected to be at the building 15-30 minutes prior to the rest of the phasers. This made it more intimidating for newcomers to bolt in the mornings, as oldcomers were arriving.
During the first week of fifth phase you are in everyday - With all the new freedoms comes a pile of new responsibilities. Writing obs, chain of command procedures, side of group procedures and open meeting responsibilities to mention a few.
Fifth phasers get 4 days off a week, schedules are individual - as a fifth phaser with four days away from group each week, you begin to gain social confidence outside the group. I became a staff trainee shortly after progressing to fifth phase. As a trainee I had only two days off a week.
Fifth phasers may talk in group - Fifth phasers were expected to use good judgment in this practice. Fifth phasers had to talk to respond to the needs of the group. In order to write down reports and take down requests to withdraw fifth phasers had to talk. Staff would often become irate about too many fifth phasers talking during a rap. Talking during raps was strongly discouraged.
Communicate through ob's books - Fifth phasers maintained a book of ob's, or observations. The ob's were written by fifth phasers. Each ob's was a paragraph about a specific member of the group. Fifth phasers were expected to write four good ob's on each day in group. Writing "pat" ob's invited aggressive confrontation at a fifth phase rap. Reading ob's allowed me to maintain a sense of who was 'making changes" and who was "sitting on their ass". Reading ob's helped fifth phasers determine who needed to have their "ass's ridden hard" or who was "sitting in a pity party". Ob's was possibly the most disturbing process involved in Straight Inc., it facilitated many incidents of abuse and aggressive confrontation. Sometimes faulty ob's reported by these "paraprofessional" fifth phasers lead to peoples set backs and startovers. Ob's was a secret from the lower phasers never to be discussed.
Fifteen minutes at the fifth phase desk - All my business as a fifth phaser was to be completed in no more than 15 minutes at the fifth phase desk. We had to keep the desk neat and cleaned out, or we would face confrontation. Even sloppy handwriting was cause for intense berating verbal assault.
Fifth phasers may call lower phasers without staff permission - Since we had to arrange permissions with both fourth and fifth phasers, we could call them without a specific permission to do so. Lower phasers were not to pick up the phone and call each other or any fifth phaser outside of the dime therapy structure.
Attend fifth phase rap every week - Fifth phase rap was generally led by a Sr. Staff member and was a couple of hours. Fifth phase rap was often confrontive, though typically setbacks did not occur at these raps. Fifth phase trainee raps also occurred a few times while I was a trainee.
Fifth phasers and parents attend "Fifth Phase Parent Rap" once a month - Usually an education rap, designed to prepare the family unit to progress into the aftercare (fundraising) phase of the program.
Day off permanent permission with parents or foster parents -Fifth phasers could go places on their days off with their own parents or foster parents without submitting a permission request.
Permissions without parents - Fifth phasers could go on permissions without parents supervising. This was a required aspect of fifth phase.
Permission requests 24 hours in advance - Fifth phasers could turn in permission requests as little as 24 hours in advance of the event.
Friends and relatives without check-out - Fifth phasers no longer had to have their friends and family members checked out by the program prior to contact. This meant that parents could invite friends & family members over for time with the fifth phaser without having them interviewed by the staff at straight.
Take one week of fifth phase vacation - Fifth phasers must take a week vacation. Out of town families must spend the vacation at home. Plenty of fifth phasers copped-out or freaked out during these vacations. We were really under the parental microscope during this week. Our parents had been primed on what to expect and it was a high bar, phasers who failed their parents expectations would get reported to staff and often end up on refreshers or setbacks for what today seem like mild infractions. Listening to a known druggie type of music, contact with anyone that might possibly have been a "druggie friend" etc.
Fifth Phase Mixed-Sex Permission Rules
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There will be a minimum of five people on each permission with an odd number of people and at least two of each sex- This was simply to provide a minimum group that prevented any unobserved behavior. In this group each guy and girl was always under the watchful eye of a same-sex fifth phaser. Since fifth phasers were all "trusted" to be completely self-disclosing, if one member of a group said or acted
Stay together in a group, no pairing off into couples or going off alone-Pairing off was STRICTLY forbidden at any time on the phases. These co-ed permissions were often the first time a phaser had been able to speak freely to a opposite-sex peer for a year or more. Speaking as a former teenage boy, well 'nuff said. I feel certain that this torture was just as bad from the other side of the fence. These permissions were a test, pure and simple. I was expected to uphold a set of moral principles around females that even the Victorians would have found restrictive. I always found it ironic that as a self-professed gay person (at the time), I was allowed to "pair-off" with guys but not with girls. I certainly found it far more challenging to spend the evenings watching other boys take showers and hearing them self-gratify at night right next to me, than sitting at a mall eating ice-cream with a girl. But Straight Inc. felt that I might at anytime, because of my flawed-druggie-twisted nature, jump up and drag that girl to a bathroom and rape her. Or worse, talk to her about Straight Inc. in any negative terms, or express my doubts about the methods of the program - without getting reported for it. This could lead to the most dangerous threat to Straight Inc. a strong non-compliance based lateral alliance. Any such alliances could bring the secrecy, and therefore freedom to abuse children, to an end within Straight Inc.
Groups may meet at home or a host home if a parent is present- The point here is that mixed group permissions are meant to take place in social situations- out in public. Meeting for a mixed group permission at a private home- well that was a little to proximate to a bed for Straight Inc. standards. If a parent was present, at all times, then such a permission might be approved. A typical reason for such a permission would be swimming party at a home with a [private swimming pool. In Atlanta, especially in Dunwoody, there were plenty of clients with swimming pools.
Curfew is 21:30 on weeknights and 23:00 on weekend nights- A simple rule. But one that carried heavy consequences for non-compliance. A late return from a permission would result in confrontation for all involved, and typically loss of permission privileges, or days off. If there was not a clear reason for the tardiness, if there was any hint of wrongdoings, this could turn into a group confrontation of epic proportions. The one time that lower phasers were called on to confront fifth phasers was when they had acted stupid as a group on a permission. I can recall times when several fifth phasers would be set back in different degrees over someone smoking a cigarette, or buying the wrong kind of music at a store, or saying the wrong thing to a co-ed on a permission. Not only the person smoking would be punished, but anyone around at the time who failed to react in a "program approved" fashion was subject to a setback as well. Merely failing to report something could result in being set back in the phases. This was a failure to recognize a druggie habit of enabling etc.
Do not associate with lower phasers while on a fifth phase mixed group permission- Lower phasers do not have the privilege of participating in co-ed discussions or permissions or any kind of co-ed activity outside of main group. Mixing with lower phasers during a mixed group permission would mean putting their sobriety at risk. So if a mixed group of fifth phasers were to run into a mono-sex group of fourth phasers at the mall, they were expected to completely ignore each other. This meant brother/sister relations would not even say hello to each other if one of them were a fourth phaser and the other a fifth phaser.
One mixed group permission per week- No more than one mixed group permission per week. Straight Inc. felt that this would be too great a co-ed exposure for us teenagers to manage in addition to and because of our flawed/sexual twisted/ morally bankrupt, druggie nature.
Permission must still carry a parent or host parent signature- Fifth phasers still had to get a parent or foster parent to sign off on our permissions. I remember to this day a 27 year old fifth phaser in Straight Inc. having to get a foster parent signature on a permission. Think about this - a 27 year old person being trained to get a parents permission before doing anything. Straight Inc. was teaching these 20-something clients the same things they were teaching the 12 and 13 year olds. How to become good neo-puritan Christian soldier children. But often these were not children. They needed to be taught how to be good adults. There were very few 12&13 year old fifth phasers by the way.
A minimum of two mixed group permissions are required prior to seven stepping- Fifth phasers had to be tested this way at least twice. The reality was that we were expected to exceed the minimum in all cases. The self discipline to refrain from co-ed relationships that were in any way intimate was a requirement for seven stepping. Seven steppers were expected to refrain from even a kiss or the possibility of a kiss for at least six months after the graduation process. So as fifth phasers one of the character aspects that we had to display was a comfort in co-ed situations and ability, even the desire, to refrain from any kind of intimacy. We were expected to acquire the moral belief that any premarital sex was wrong, and that any kind of intimacy was dangerous to our sobriety for the foreseeable future. We were expected to refrain from self-gratification, or any kind of sexual gratification of any kind. These mixed group permissions were designed as tests of the internalization of these beliefs, our "acquired morality".
Failure to use common sense during mixed groups will result in loss of the privilege or possibly a setback- Failure to display the aforementioned "acquired morality" of the program would result in being set back to a lower phase, usually accompanied by a period of time as a newcomer again. These failures could result in the entire group of fifth phasers losing their mixed-group permission privileges for a period of time. This insured that offending client would receive intense peer pressure through confrontation, verbal assault and possibly battery for their actions. Losing this privilege as a group meant that no fifth phaser could complete this requirement and graduate the program for this period of time.
Mixed group permissions must be checked-out by staff with at least 24hrs notice - Just like all regular fifth phase permissions. 24 hours prior to the start time for the permission.
Mixed group permissions may only be check-out during or just after fifth phase rap each week- Combined with the prior rule, this meant permissions for the day of the fifth phase rap must be submitted 7 days in advance. Mixed group permissions were checked out by Sr. Staff. This required a healthy and complete knowledge of druggie friends in the group and individuals sexual issues and likely behaviors. Mixed group permissions were unlikely to be approved if they were not very public well lighted events. So things like trips to the movies were closely inspected, as opposed to going to the zoo. If a mixed group went to the movies then we had to sit in a group, we had to sit in a way that did not allow any pairing off. And the movie had to be approved by staff as well. Asking to go see a risqué °icture as a group could invite confrontation as a group. All of us would be stood up and verbally assaulted for the bad judgment to even make such a request. Whoever came up with the suggestion would often be set back or loose privileges. Some people were in their mid 20's asking 17 year old for permission to go to a movie
Open meeting Rules:
Introductions -First name only, age, state that you are a drug addict, how long you have been doing drugs, how long you have been in Straight Inc. past- some specific drug using incident and how I felt, present- what I have learned about myself since being in Straight Inc. Future- two short term goals and one long term goal.
Apply Honesty to my introduction - Since honesty meant full self-disclosure, this rule meant that I should freely admit to my flawed nature and behavior during my introduction. I should be fully self disclosing, but not disclose anything about how the program works. Of course I should not be forthright about not liking the place, and if I were expected to do so, then I would not be allowed to give my introduction. No one gave an introduction until they could be trusted to do so without screaming their desire to leave out loud.
No slang or profanity during my introduction - I was not to use any kind of druggie slang, or any profanity during my introduction. During group we used profanity constantly, but during our introductions to the outside world, not even one word of it. And if we did, we could expect to be verbally assaulted later that night for "using fucking curse words". I need not point out this irony.
I stand up when my parents stand up - This was when the parents were passing the microphone to talk to their newcomer children each open meeting. A kid who failed to stand up would be pushed up by other kids and this could lead to a fight. the offending child would be dragged from the room kicking and screaming in front of their parents and the rest of the parents. To this day I amazed at how we all just stood still during these scenes of abuse. I know there were officers of the court present during these scenarios, and they stood by without taking action. These events were public unprovoked battery of non violent passive resisters with hundreds of witnesses.
In open meetings phasers say only "I love you" - No other talking out is permitted. When the mike is being passed, parents whose children earned talk or are on higher phases simply say I love you, the parents who stand up and confront their newcomer child get to speak for a couple of minutes. the child may only respond with a single I love you at the end of the confrontation. Failure to say it would lead to confrontation both during and after an open meeting. Attempting to say any more would result in immediate battery as other clients around the child would clamp their hands over their mouth and physically restrain and remove the child from the room.
No wearing the same clothes to 2 open meetings in a row - This was to prevent anyone from manipulating their parents emotions by appearing to have to wear the same clothing all the time.
Birthdays and anniversaries are for second phase and higher - When B&A's are announced second phase and higher clients may stand up for recognition.
Report anyone breaking confidentiality - Anyone in the audience that is using a tape recorder, or camera, or writing down notes is a threat and should be reported immediately.
Talk is for Practicing my Amends Step, not for discussing "wants" - During my five minute parent talks as a newcomer I am expected to spend the time making apologies or "changes". I am prohibited from discussing issues such as food or clothing. I can expect to face rigorous confrontation and assault later in the night if I do not conform to this expectation. If I were to start to say I wanted to leave and suggest that we were being abused inside the program, the oldcomer would grab my beltloop and yank me away from my parents.
Oldcomers supervise first phaser parent talks - Oldcomers insure that newcomers maintain the focus of the discussion on his or her own faulty nature and failures. The oldcomer can raise their hand to get staff support if they feel that the talk is over their heads or out of control.
Oldcomers respect that the talk is for the newcomer - Oldcomers are expected to listen closely and pay attention but to avoid being involved in the talk.
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If I recall correctly, my "shine" came with the overall realization that I had succumbed (through the use of intense brainwashing tactics) to the belief that I was indeed powerless over drugs and that I had become willing to humiliate myself on a daily basis. When it came time for homes rap, or whatever that was called, I think the staff would make the observation and then reward the apparent progress with a small reward called T&R. In the program on first phase for more than 2 months with NO rewards or any sort of dignity, this small 'promotion' or privilege as you may call it was more than welcome. In and of itself, TnR brought with it a sense of accomplishment, albeit empty and based on BULLSHIT.
At open meeting, the parents would see these robots all shiny and oiled up and that fueled their committment to ensuring that their kid would finish the program one way or another. A 'whatever it takes' mentality overcame them and they became true believers in the BULLSHIT they were told was drug treatment - phaser style.
DON'T STOP NOW! JOHNNY IS SHININ LIKE A BRAND NEW CAR!
Well, later on, in the reality part of this, Johnny drove the car into a large mudbank and nearly killed himself. In fact, he came back to this place over and over until he finally did die. A tortured soul, lost forever. TnR shine is nothing but BULLSHIT and should be considered a sign of severe psychological trauma, not some drugfreeproudtobe zealot's twisted idea of "progress". :flame:
Well said,...... I thought about the car being all shiny and new but under the hood all the seals were leaking and the entire drive train is junk because the staff have been racing this car and tack-in it way too high for way too long. The owners don't know the car has been in such disservice because - just look at how shiny it is. Until it's too late and the shiny car gets junked or barely runs with a horrible miss and oil all over the driveway. Turn your back on the car until it starts working it's program. Don't attempt any maintenance as this is enabling the car. I think I'll write a childrens novel, "The shiny car that never had a snowball's chance". -T
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"Is it a feel good or a good feeling"?
One of the program sayings to get you to delay gratification. Could be a useful tool in psychotherapy but in the hands of the program it is an implement of torture.
The Appearance: A good therapeutic tool used to encourage responsible behavior.
The Truth: A tool used as a mental torture to disallow the victim from practicing his/her own individual human rights, such as; eating food or getting adequate sleep. (Oh yeah, Or looking at the opposite sex)
-T
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I remember it being a "feel good" Working out is a feel good, and it distracts first phasers from their program, as is reading, watching movies, masturbating, music, eating, etc, etc, etc. the list of feel goods goes on.
Really anything could be put on the list of 'feel goods', because of motives. I don't know how many times I questioned myself about anything to see if my motives were bad. When I would ask staff a question about something, a general response would be "check your motives" or "follow your conscience" I was in such a mind fuck as a result. I would over analyze every move I made, everything from how much time and effort I put into my MI's or if I glanced at the opposite sex at school, really anything. That is one thing that still lingers with me today, constantly doubting every decision I make. I'm coming along though.
It's weird reading all of these rules as appearance/truths. When I was still "programed" I could give you the program side reasonings to every rule, and not even think to consider the damage being done, because it was necessary, and I was helping newcomers in their programs. I'm glad that someone is making this an active forum.
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Thanks Botched, you reminded me of a few hundred rules I had forgot about. They aren't exactly the same but the majority is very consistent.
(DANGER: Parent/Child communication may prevent treatment!!!)
For those who lack the sense of humor gene, that last statement is sarcasm. I know,.... no laughing matter. Let's proceed.
No communication between kids and parents in the early stage of the program. Open meeting is very controlled. If "Talk" is achieved the newcomer gets 5 minutes to talk to the parents about his/her past and is also tightly controlled so nothing else is discussed. The newcomer is "prepped" before talk under threat of punishment if anything unexpected should happen. The child is told that the parents already know about the abuse to the newcomer and agree with it. This is used to dissuade him/her from asking for help. The parents are told a number of lies and deceived into thinking that their child is an addict with a serious disease and will lie and manipulate to get out and back to the dangerous lifestyle. "Talk" is basically being under duress.
Early days in the program are important days for the parents to realize, something is wrong and get their kid out.
The Appearance: The child has a serious mental disease that can only be treated by the program through tough love and separating the parents from the child for a lengthy amount of time. The child needs to be taken from the outside world to focus on him/her self to be shown that he/she does indeed suffer from this affliction and needs to focus on their problems without distraction from anything in the outside world.
The Truth: Brainwashing doesn't happen overnight. The program needs weeks and perhaps even months to indoctrinate this imaginary belief system. Total control of communication especially with family is of utmost importance to disguise the tactics involved. The first segment of the program is used to break the child psychologically. When the child has been broken, he/she is brainwashed and 2nd phase is given to them.
By the time the child reaches 2nd phase, he/she is believed to be brainwashed and subsequently allowed to be trusted not to reveal confidential information about the program. Once I became brainwashed, I was in total belief that I had been saved by this miraculous program. I would have fought to the death for that place. On my higher phases I would go to schools and conduct speaking engagements and tell kids and parents that I would be dead without this program. I believed it wholeheartedly. This is why the kids don't want to leave after they been in there for while. It is the same reason some cult members defend their torturous cult, they have been brainwashed over time.
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I remember it being a "feel good" Working out is a feel good, and it distracts first phasers from their program, as is reading, watching movies, masturbating, music, eating, etc, etc, etc. the list of feel goods goes on.
Really anything could be put on the list of 'feel goods', because of motives. I don't know how many times I questioned myself about anything to see if my motives were bad. When I would ask staff a question about something, a general response would be "check your motives" or "follow your conscience" I was in such a mind fuck as a result. I would over analyze every move I made, everything from how much time and effort I put into my MI's or if I glanced at the opposite sex at school, really anything. That is one thing that still lingers with me today, constantly doubting every decision I make. I'm coming along though.
It's weird reading all of these rules as appearance/truths. When I was still "programed" I could give you the program side reasonings to every rule, and not even think to consider the damage being done, because it was necessary, and I was helping newcomers in their programs. I'm glad that someone is making this an active forum.
Glad to hear you're getting better. I'm comin along too. It's just too bad it took me 20 years to realize why I have certain neurotic tendencies or panic attacks. I still have a difficult time looking people in the eyes or looking at girls. I hate that! I am over-analyzing this post right now! I wish there was an antidote to the problems caused by brainwashing.
-T
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I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.
-Mahatma Gandhi
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i was in PFC from 04-05. are in from KHK? if so what year, and a few quick questions for you! nice thread by the way!
1st i want to tell you that i understand about having to lie! i was told on a regular basis for a year that when i was telling the truth, "i was lying" and also told that if i didn't fess up more and more and more (which i had told them everything, i wasn't that bad of a kid) that i could not and would not move up in the program! 15 hrs of therapy mon. and fri. and 10 hrs of therapy tues-thurs! exhausting. i was definately not fed properly at the building, 10 hrs with a small meal that could only carry 3 or 4 items is not enough! we got in trouble for packing too much food. even if it was like a fruit roll up, apple sauce, drink, and sandwich, that is 4 things, thats the limit! i was started over 3 times for contacting old "druggie friends" the ones that have been there for me through all different ages, and are still with me today! parents are told to throw away all clothes and all materials in childs room, as well as kick them outta the house if their child didn't graduate! this happened to me :( one more question...did they teach you how to stop shaking, and how to look and appear happy when broken? i was taken aside and taught this at staff desk, so i don't know if you learned this.
STAFF - do any of these names sound familier?
mr. franz (coordinator)
merriann hilger
mrs. huber
flaura wilsker
terri nissley
mr. beasley
Terms- do they have these at KHK?
-phaser room
-bag checks
-oldcomer blocking doors
-basics (1st group)
-didactics
-serious group
-what method do the restraints involve? elbow in back face pushed into floor with rug burn, sitting on them? can you remember? (it took me a while to get some memories back)
-thats a rap
-honesty lists
-coc
-oldcomer-newcomer
-put in to see the nurse
-15 min of dodgeball, excersice for 30 if bad (richard simmons)
-going defiant
-started over
:roll: :( :) :o :rofl: :question: :wink:
just clarifying that they are another spinn off, even though i already know because guess who answered the phone @ KHK- good old flaura wilsker.
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POEM TO PATHWAY (unleash me, please don't use me
I'm another experiment
i'm no longer myself
you've stolen my mind
and you run away with stealth
you've taken my name so now i am blind
i'm now just another # added to your wall of false pride
you call this a solution
but your kids are all effed up inside
you brainwash our minds and fill us up with pollution
you've made me numb
GET ME OUT its been too much time
release me now or just past the fucking gun
if you release me from your experiment i promise i'll be fine
you punctured my soul with your sword
and trapped me in your crazy ass world!
Please let me go,
A
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i knew i was stuck when i realized it was the haunting dream i had had since 5th grade. same wall colors (deep depressing blue) same yellow chairs, same stained floor, same polls in center of room, same feeling! my dreams were right, intuition couldn't save me though.
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i was in PFC from 04-05. are in from KHK? if so what year, and a few quick questions for you! nice thread by the way!
1st i want to tell you that i understand about having to lie! i was told on a regular basis for a year that when i was telling the truth, "i was lying" and also told that if i didn't fess up more and more and more (which i had told them everything, i wasn't that bad of a kid) that i could not and would not move up in the program! 15 hrs of therapy mon. and fri. and 10 hrs of therapy tues-thurs! exhausting. i was definately not fed properly at the building, 10 hrs with a small meal that could only carry 3 or 4 items is not enough! we got in trouble for packing too much food. even if it was like a fruit roll up, apple sauce, drink, and sandwich, that is 4 things, thats the limit! i was started over 3 times for contacting old "druggie friends" the ones that have been there for me through all different ages, and are still with me today! parents are told to throw away all clothes and all materials in childs room, as well as kick them outta the house if their child didn't graduate! this happened to me :( one more question...did they teach you how to stop shaking, and how to look and appear happy when broken? i was taken aside and taught this at staff desk, so i don't know if you learned this.
STAFF - do any of these names sound familier?
mr. franz (coordinator)
merriann hilger
mrs. huber
flaura wilsker
terri nissley
mr. beasley
Terms- do they have these at KHK?
-phaser room
-bag checks
-oldcomer blocking doors
-basics (1st group)
-didactics
-serious group
-what method do the restraints involve? elbow in back face pushed into floor with rug burn, sitting on them? can you remember? (it took me a while to get some memories back)
-thats a rap
-honesty lists
-coc
-oldcomer-newcomer
-put in to see the nurse
-15 min of dodgeball, excersice for 30 if bad (richard simmons)
-going defiant
-started over
:roll: :( :) :o :rofl: :question: :wink:
just clarifying that they are another spinn off, even though i already know because guess who answered the phone @ KHK- good old flaura wilsker.
yes to all of these below:
thats a rap
-honesty lists
-coc
-oldcomer-newcomer
-put in to see the nurse
-15 min of dodgeball, excersice for 30 if bad (richard simmons)
and yes to these, as well:
-started over
-phaser room
-bag checks
-oldcomer blocking doors
-basics (1st group)
what method do the restraints involve? elbow in back face pushed into floor with rug burn, sitting on them ( most times more than one person sitting on ye, and sometimes smashed into the wall, as well.)
-DP
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i knew i was stuck when i realized it was the haunting dream i had had since 5th grade. same wall colors (deep depressing blue) same yellow chairs, same stained floor, same polls in center of room, same feeling! my dreams were right, intuition couldn't save me though.
I have never heard something so wild. I believe in the mysterious truth in our dreams. I believe they can transcend time. I have had dreams come true and once had the exact same dream, the same night while spending the night with that same close friend. We knew something beyond our understanding had happened, but it happened nonetheless. Maybe one day we can interpret our dreams better and save ourselves.
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i was in PFC from 04-05. are in from KHK? if so what year, and a few quick questions for you! nice thread by the way!
1st i want to tell you that i understand about having to lie! i was told on a regular basis for a year that when i was telling the truth, "i was lying" and also told that if i didn't fess up more and more and more (which i had told them everything, i wasn't that bad of a kid) that i could not and would not move up in the program! 15 hrs of therapy mon. and fri. and 10 hrs of therapy tues-thurs! exhausting. i was definately not fed properly at the building, 10 hrs with a small meal that could only carry 3 or 4 items is not enough! we got in trouble for packing too much food. even if it was like a fruit roll up, apple sauce, drink, and sandwich, that is 4 things, thats the limit! i was started over 3 times for contacting old "druggie friends" the ones that have been there for me through all different ages, and are still with me today! parents are told to throw away all clothes and all materials in childs room, as well as kick them outta the house if their child didn't graduate! this happened to me :( one more question...did they teach you how to stop shaking, and how to look and appear happy when broken? i was taken aside and taught this at staff desk, so i don't know if you learned this.
STAFF - do any of these names sound familier?
mr. franz (coordinator)
merriann hilger
mrs. huber
flaura wilsker
terri nissley
mr. beasley
Terms- do they have these at KHK?
-phaser room
-bag checks
-oldcomer blocking doors
-basics (1st group)
-didactics
-serious group
-what method do the restraints involve? elbow in back face pushed into floor with rug burn, sitting on them? can you remember? (it took me a while to get some memories back)
-thats a rap
-honesty lists
-coc
-oldcomer-newcomer
-put in to see the nurse
-15 min of dodgeball, excersice for 30 if bad (richard simmons)
-going defiant
-started over
:roll: :( :) :o :rofl: :question: :wink:
just clarifying that they are another spinn off, even though i already know because guess who answered the phone @ KHK- good old flaura wilsker.
I was in KHK 86-88. Sounds to me like PFC is KHK. Kinda like Hardees out west is called Carl's Jr.
I must admit, there is a lot I do not remember. If we were shaking at open meeting we were seated in the back row. We had benches, not chairs. We were taught many ways to act good during open meeting. Mainly if we tried anything during open meeting, we would regret it for the foreseeable future. Also, if we were not working, we would get a snack after open meeting on friday, if we were good during the meeting. Aby other night we would not be given a snack, or what I like to call; Dinner.
I was the dodgeball winner. The smallest lightest guy in group with long skinny arms, I could slingshot that bastard faster than anyone could move. Even the big muscular staff lost to me. That was my only accomplishment in there. Only wish I could have run away instead.
We had at least an hour of PT(physical training) a day. I remember one day doing 1200 jumping jacks in a row. I never had blisters on my feet so bad in my life. PT always killed me. So little food, so much activity.
Our phaser room I think was called the rap room when I was in.
coc- chain of command
oldcomer-newcomer, My father said it took 5 to 6 moths before I reached 2nd phase. I knew it was at least 4 before I started to lose my grasp on reality.
I was started over twice. Once on 3rd phase and once on 5th phase.
We had bag check but I think it was called "clothes" check or something.
You could put in to see the nurse but it could take weeks to actually see her if you were allowed at all. I never saw the nurse, but I was forced to take a flu shot from a doctor that made me sick for 2 weeks. For all we know, they could have been giving us experimental drugs. Don't put it past them!!!!
I'm still getting the memory of restraints back. It is slow and been a long time. i remember being sat on and I thought I would die from not being able to breath. We only got rugburn in the open meeting room. our rap room was cold hard tile. Once you got smacked down on that stuff a couple times you learned to play nice.
We had no A/C so we had this huge fan in the summer and the oldcomer guys would stand guard at the door. We knew we wouldn't make it out but we ran at the doors anyway. I think throughout the rest of the year we had an oldcomer guarding the main door entrance to the rap room.
My parents threw out all of my material possessions. I didn't learn this until I went on 2nd phase and my mother acted so happily as if she had done the world a service. All my records and posters and my guitar and amplifier. Everything a 14 year old kid was into was gone. They had been instructed to throw it all away or sell it. I admit, I didn't have much, but it meant a lot to me at the time. I don't value material possessions anymore. I value anger and hatred against tyranny and oppression.
Going defiant, I think was called acting out.
terri nissley is the only name I know. I think she is in company with penny walker.
-T
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I am not sure who is spinning off who, but KHK and PFC are definately related. KHK in Milford, is now Kids Helping Kids a Pathways Family Center. They are completely merged now. The transition began in 2004. As of 2006 the following terms were being used at the KHK/PFC building
Terms- do they have these at KHK?
-phaser room - yes. it was a room at household that we slept in. The only thing that was allowed to be in it were mattresses and blankets. Absolutely nothing else, so our overnight bags and everything else was piled up in the hall. There were alarms on the doors and windows in every house that would sound if you opened them, a loud shrieking sound anytime we opened the door too early or something. We also could only wear two articles of clothing to bed, and they couldn't be "street appropriate" (so no shirt and pants, it had to be underwear and a shirt, something that would be noticable if someone saw you walking down the street, also, socks counted as both articles of clothing) before bed we did searches, feel around the chest area (on girls) pull down you underwear so the oldcomer could make sure you weren't stashing anything, and mouth checks. The entire room had to be searched (oldcomers would basically have to run thier hands over everything, and shake out all blankets to make sure that phasers didn't hid anything) and the oldcomers bed had to be pushed against the door.
-bag checks we had to search through every article of clothing, every notebook, every possesion of newcomers every sunday. Also, in the mornings before we went into the rap room we searched our newcomers to make sure they didn't have anything on them. In the winter we were only allowed two sweatshirts.
-oldcomer blocking doors in the building we had oldcomers stand in front of doors with chairs in front of them so that if someone did try to run the oldcomer could use the chair to try to stop them (never saw it happen, but that's what the staff told me they were for) Also, at household, the oldcomer had to be between the newcomers and the door, and if the door was open, new comers had to be beltlooped. Also, newcomers were beltlooped from the car to the house until the door was locked, the same going to the building.
-basics (1st group) first rap of the day, read out of the AA book, go over the steps, you had to have the steps, the serenity prayer, the mottos (think think think, first things first, and easy does it) and the 5 criteria for irrational thoughts (1. based on realtiy, 2.... does anyone remeber these??) memorized before you could put it for talk. Every morning newcomers had to repeat these. Every Sunday newcomers had to 'explain' the steps
-didactics we didn't have this at KHK, what is it?
-serious group This sounds like our Monday Night Rap where staff would confront anyone they didn't think was honest, and the whole group would gang up. The lights were usually turned down for effect, there was lots and lots of yelling/screaming/crying during these. You knew you were fucked when you were called for Monday Night Rap, lots of start overs and set backs. We also had Reasons Rap on Friday after Homes had been called (not where you were sleeping, but who made what phase/talk/tr or whatever) when the staff would tell you why you didn't make the phase you put in for. Depending on how you handle the situation you could very easily get started over or set back. The worst part was, if you got started over, your parents wouldn't find out until after open meeting when you just didn't come home.
-what method do the restraints involve? elbow in back face pushed into floor with rug burn, sitting on them? can you remember? (it took me a while to get some memories back) We had the high low method, it took people out pretty easily. The whole group would get excited and if it was a boy, it seemed like most of the guy oldcomers would end up on top of them by the end of it. It was basically pin them to the ground however you could.
-thats a rap our groups were called raps, but that phrase isn't sticking out in my memory
-honesty lists we called them something along the lines of list of things to 'bring out' (tell on yourself) in group. Also we had insecurity lists where you would list every fucked up thing, or every bad/insecure thought about yourself in a list. Then you get up in group and read the list to everyone. It was supposed to help selfesteem levels and get rid of insecurities, go figure. Did ya'll have insecurities... i.e. a staff member tells you to do an insecurty, basically you make an ass out of yourself in front of group by dancing or singing a song, whatever staff felt like, or wearing embarrasing clothing (like what we had wasn't embarrasing already) etc.
-coc ah, the Chain of Command. We had to have this memorized too to make talk, and everything had to be spelled correctly. If someone stopped working at KHK thier name had to be blacked out, like phasers who left, they no longer existed.
-oldcomer-newcomer check.
-put in to see the nurse Put in to do anything, put in for medication, (my answer to headache chains was to drink water and pray) put in to talk to staff, etc. Never knew what was going to actually happen and what wasn't.
-15 min of dodgeball, excersice for 30 if bad (richard simmons) we had exersise rap everyday? I think? or only tuesday thursdays? Twice a week we had a program parent come in and teach step aerobics. She was the nicest lady, i looked forward to that just to get out of the chairs for a little while
-going defiant Acting out for me too.
-started over all the way back to day one!
different types of set backs: 3 day to a week away from home (keep oldcomer status, but don't go to your house, take household somewhere else),
days frozen (one 4th or 5th phase when staff wanted to keep you there longer)
being called in (you don't go to school or work, you stay in group, but keep your phase)
Being sat - on 5ht phase loosing the privledge to stand up and talk in group
Stuck to household - you had to stay with everyone you went home with the whole time, no seperating. it made getting things done very difficult (but like everyone, the old comers always had to be w/ the newcomers, but if you had two old and two new, you couldn't split up)
set back a phase - or really go back as many as you need like 4th to 2nd or something
anyone remember any others?
Did anyone else have to do RSA's? I don't remember what it stands for but it was a sheet you filled out to correct irrational thinking.
Crazy how once you get going, the program lingo just starts flooding back.
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Did anyone else have to do RSA's? I don't remember what it stands for but it was a sheet you filled out to correct irrational thinking.
The course was RSC (Rational Self Counseling) and RSA was (Rational Self Analysis).
This is where you would take a phrase like "Shit Head" and think about it "Logically" and determine that your head is not made of shit.
God the brainwashing went deep.
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I am not sure who is spinning off who, but KHK and PFC are definately related. KHK in Milford, is now Kids Helping Kids a Pathways Family Center. They are completely merged now. The transition began in 2004. As of 2006 the following terms were being used at the KHK/PFC building
Terms- do they have these at KHK?
-phaser room - yes. it was a room at household that we slept in. The only thing that was allowed to be in it were mattresses and blankets. Absolutely nothing else, so our overnight bags and everything else was piled up in the hall. There were alarms on the doors and windows in every house that would sound if you opened them, a loud shrieking sound anytime we opened the door too early or something. We also could only wear two articles of clothing to bed, and they couldn't be "street appropriate" (so no shirt and pants, it had to be underwear and a shirt, something that would be noticable if someone saw you walking down the street, also, socks counted as both articles of clothing) before bed we did searches, feel around the chest area (on girls) pull down you underwear so the oldcomer could make sure you weren't stashing anything, and mouth checks. The entire room had to be searched (oldcomers would basically have to run thier hands over everything, and shake out all blankets to make sure that phasers didn't hid anything) and the oldcomers bed had to be pushed against the door.
-bag checks we had to search through every article of clothing, every notebook, every possesion of newcomers every sunday. Also, in the mornings before we went into the rap room we searched our newcomers to make sure they didn't have anything on them. In the winter we were only allowed two sweatshirts.
-oldcomer blocking doors in the building we had oldcomers stand in front of doors with chairs in front of them so that if someone did try to run the oldcomer could use the chair to try to stop them (never saw it happen, but that's what the staff told me they were for) Also, at household, the oldcomer had to be between the newcomers and the door, and if the door was open, new comers had to be beltlooped. Also, newcomers were beltlooped from the car to the house until the door was locked, the same going to the building.
-basics (1st group) first rap of the day, read out of the AA book, go over the steps, you had to have the steps, the serenity prayer, the mottos (think think think, first things first, and easy does it) and the 5 criteria for irrational thoughts (1. based on realtiy, 2.... does anyone remeber these??) memorized before you could put it for talk. Every morning newcomers had to repeat these. Every Sunday newcomers had to 'explain' the steps
-didactics we didn't have this at KHK, what is it?
-serious group This sounds like our Monday Night Rap where staff would confront anyone they didn't think was honest, and the whole group would gang up. The lights were usually turned down for effect, there was lots and lots of yelling/screaming/crying during these. You knew you were fucked when you were called for Monday Night Rap, lots of start overs and set backs. We also had Reasons Rap on Friday after Homes had been called (not where you were sleeping, but who made what phase/talk/tr or whatever) when the staff would tell you why you didn't make the phase you put in for. Depending on how you handle the situation you could very easily get started over or set back. The worst part was, if you got started over, your parents wouldn't find out until after open meeting when you just didn't come home.
-what method do the restraints involve? elbow in back face pushed into floor with rug burn, sitting on them? can you remember? (it took me a while to get some memories back) We had the high low method, it took people out pretty easily. The whole group would get excited and if it was a boy, it seemed like most of the guy oldcomers would end up on top of them by the end of it. It was basically pin them to the ground however you could.
-thats a rap our groups were called raps, but that phrase isn't sticking out in my memory
-honesty lists we called them something along the lines of list of things to 'bring out' (tell on yourself) in group. Also we had insecurity lists where you would list every fucked up thing, or every bad/insecure thought about yourself in a list. Then you get up in group and read the list to everyone. It was supposed to help selfesteem levels and get rid of insecurities, go figure. Did ya'll have insecurities... i.e. a staff member tells you to do an insecurty, basically you make an ass out of yourself in front of group by dancing or singing a song, whatever staff felt like, or wearing embarrasing clothing (like what we had wasn't embarrasing already) etc.
-coc ah, the Chain of Command. We had to have this memorized too to make talk, and everything had to be spelled correctly. If someone stopped working at KHK thier name had to be blacked out, like phasers who left, they no longer existed.
-oldcomer-newcomer check.
-put in to see the nurse Put in to do anything, put in for medication, (my answer to headache chains was to drink water and pray) put in to talk to staff, etc. Never knew what was going to actually happen and what wasn't.
-15 min of dodgeball, excersice for 30 if bad (richard simmons) we had exersise rap everyday? I think? or only tuesday thursdays? Twice a week we had a program parent come in and teach step aerobics. She was the nicest lady, i looked forward to that just to get out of the chairs for a little while
-going defiant Acting out for me too.
-started over all the way back to day one!
different types of set backs: 3 day to a week away from home (keep oldcomer status, but don't go to your house, take household somewhere else),
days frozen (one 4th or 5th phase when staff wanted to keep you there longer)
being called in (you don't go to school or work, you stay in group, but keep your phase)
Being sat - on 5ht phase loosing the privledge to stand up and talk in group
Stuck to household - you had to stay with everyone you went home with the whole time, no seperating. it made getting things done very difficult (but like everyone, the old comers always had to be w/ the newcomers, but if you had two old and two new, you couldn't split up)
set back a phase - or really go back as many as you need like 4th to 2nd or something
anyone remember any others?
Did anyone else have to do RSA's? I don't remember what it stands for but it was a sheet you filled out to correct irrational thinking.
Crazy how once you get going, the program lingo just starts flooding back.
RSA is an acronym for "Rational self analysis".We were given these tidy assignments on 3rd phase and up. It was a sheet of paper where you would basically write an incident that happened to you, your thoughts and feelings about it, and what the reality was as opposed to what you had thought and felt. I think it was a way to convince yourself that you were always wrong if you trusted your feelings, thoughts or even your gut instinct. It might be a positive tool outside the realm of the program but they used it for mind control.
Most of the other info brings back bad memories like, away from home and being sat. Insecurities sucked. "Being called in" was used when the groups oldcomers numbers were so low that we had to stay in group to control the newcomers. It may have been a punishment but I don't recall at this time.
I have no idea what didactics is????? Sounds like L Ron Hubbard's dianetics. That can't be good.
We weren't allowed to use the restroom at night because we were locked in. We had a bucket we called the "pee jug". Did anyone else have something like this. Us guys would use it to pee in at night and empty it in the morning.
-T
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Did anyone else have to do RSA's? I don't remember what it stands for but it was a sheet you filled out to correct irrational thinking.
The course was RSC (Rational Self Counseling) and RSA was (Rational Self Analysis).
This is where you would take a phrase like "Shit Head" and think about it "Logically" and determine that your head is not made of shit.
God the brainwashing went deep.
"Shit head" That is a funny example. I remember one time on 1st phase, I stood up to talk and said,"I can't stand it in here!". The staff member laughed at me and said." Tony, that's ridiculous, we can all see that you are standing right now". The group all joined in the laughter and I sat down. I guess that staff member was really good at the RSA.
-T
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Pee Jugs...... Bedroom door locked from the outside, (The door was chain locked from the outside with an alarm on it so if it was forced the alarm would go off).... clothing kept outside the room as well.
Getting started over and frozen on day zero.
Daily obs (observations).... Notes that 5th phasers would write down in a log book. 5th phasers were required to write 3 observations on newcomers and lower phasers as the staff would rely on them as to who's ass they were going to grill.
Away from home on a refresher..... One of those little mind control things that let us know what it's like to be on the lower phasers.... A tool used to keept people programmed.
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i knew i was stuck when i realized it was the haunting dream i had had since 5th grade. same wall colors (deep depressing blue) same yellow chairs, same stained floor, same polls in center of room, same feeling! my dreams were right, intuition couldn't save me though.
UM, this is freaky but I had basically the same dream. It wasn't in 5th grade for me , though, it was around 9th grade.
P.M. me
I want to get to the bottom of the connection if there is any here.
thanks,
-DP
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Can someone tell me what T&R is?
Thanks!
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Can someone tell me what T&R is?
Thanks!
T&R is Talk and Responsibility
Usually it was the step right before making 2nd phase.
-DP
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Can someone tell me what T&R is?
Thanks!
"Talk and Responsibility"
To elaborate, "Talk" is a 5 minute period where parents are allowed to talk to their kid while being watched over by an oldcomer after open meeting (under duress). "Responsibilities" are the work around the building that a newcomer gets the privilege to do such as cleaning the bathrooms, floors or serving the food while watched by an oldcomer.
-T
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the straight inc I was at t n' r was just so we could go from our chair to the bathroom without being beltlooped, and we could take other newcs who didn't have responsibilities there. Food was served by higher phasers as well as cleaning. Newcs were supposed to be in group the whole time. khk must have been a little different in that respect.
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the straight inc I was at t n' r was just so we could go from our chair to the bathroom without being beltlooped, and we could take other newcs who didn't have responsibilities there. Food was served by higher phasers as well as cleaning. Newcs were supposed to be in group the whole time. khk must have been a little different in that respect.
Yes, there do seem to be some differences. At KHK we weren't belt looped to the bathroom on T&R either, we were followed closely though by an oldcomer. I forgot about that. We were not allowed to belt-loop anyone until we were on 2nd phase though. Food service and cleaning was done by an oldcomer and a 1st phaser with T&R.
-T
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I think we had that at Kidscope too after friday night open meeting if you were granted this you were aloud to go off in a little private group to talk with your parents (With an oldcomer escorting you and sitting in on it with you of course)
Poppy
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I think we had that at Kidscope too after friday night open meeting if you were granted this you were aloud to go off in a little private group to talk with your parents (With an oldcomer escorting you and sitting in on it with you of course)
Poppy
Yep, sounds like "Talk"
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Appearance:
Client confidentiality. Family confidentiality.
Truth: This rule of the program offers to aid in covering up many program abuses, and also is used to intensify and exascerbate the "Lord of the flies" affect. It is so extreme of a rule to the point of you cannot even mention a persons name if they cannot her you say it and they are not standing in the same room as you. Therefore, if someone who has been abusing you at the host home is standing in the living room and you are in the kitchen with another oldcomer or program parent, you couldn't very well tell them about the said abuse behind that other persons back in private without violating a program rule and risk getting set back or worse consequences for breaking said rule.
Please feel free to chime in!
-DP
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Post subject: No Talking behind backs
Appearance:
Client confidentiality. Family confidentiality.
Truth: This rule of the program offers to aid in covering up many program abuses, and also is used to intensify and exascerbate the "Lord of the flies" affect. It is so extreme of a rule to the point of you cannot even mention a persons name if they cannot her you say it and they are not standing in the same room as you. Therefore, if someone who has been abusing you at the host home is standing in the living room and you are in the kitchen with another oldcomer or program parent, you couldn't very well tell them about the said abuse behind that other persons back in private without violating a program rule and risk getting set back or worse consequences for breaking said rule.
Please feel free to chime in!
Oh, I remember no talking behind backs. We dubbed it TBB, so anytime the rule was in violation someone at household would yell, 'NO TBB!'. For us, it was taken to an extreme. There was no talking about anyone that was not in the room with you. There was no talking about anyone else in the program, no talking about staff, or program parents. This was one of the strictest rules. Anything that could be derived as heard/ or about anyone else is not allowed. For example, "i heard that....", "i know that..." . Alright, those are bad examples, but I can't think of anything at the moment. Basically, anything that could remotely refer to another in the program was asserted. These offenses were always brought up in group, and were taken very seriously, start over seriously. If I felt like old comer 'A' was abusing their power, then I couldn't talk to anyone about it. The only way would to bring it up in group, where staff might give it some consideration, maybe a set back for them. I would have gotten one as well because I wasn't displaying a proper amount of humility. That rule was definitely a control method, as well as a cover up for any abuse. It also made talking about anything a little dance, because we were surrounded by the whole group all day, but were not allowed to acknowledge that. Just one way to grip our minds a little tighter.
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Here, I have some for ye:
"Can't hear that!", "Can't say that!"
to avoid talking behind backs: "I learned in group...."
-DP
Post subject: No Talking behind backs
Appearance:
Client confidentiality. Family confidentiality.
Truth: This rule of the program offers to aid in covering up many program abuses, and also is used to intensify and exascerbate the "Lord of the flies" affect. It is so extreme of a rule to the point of you cannot even mention a persons name if they cannot her you say it and they are not standing in the same room as you. Therefore, if someone who has been abusing you at the host home is standing in the living room and you are in the kitchen with another oldcomer or program parent, you couldn't very well tell them about the said abuse behind that other persons back in private without violating a program rule and risk getting set back or worse consequences for breaking said rule.
Please feel free to chime in!
Oh, I remember no talking behind backs. We dubbed it TBB, so anytime the rule was in violation someone at household would yell, 'NO TBB!'. For us, it was taken to an extreme. There was no talking about anyone that was not in the room with you. There was no talking about anyone else in the program, no talking about staff, or program parents. This was one of the strictest rules. Anything that could be derived as heard/ or about anyone else is not allowed. For example, "i heard that....", "i know that..." . Alright, those are bad examples, but I can't think of anything at the moment. Basically, anything that could remotely refer to another in the program was asserted. These offenses were always brought up in group, and were taken very seriously, start over seriously. If I felt like old comer 'A' was abusing their power, then I couldn't talk to anyone about it. The only way would to bring it up in group, where staff might give it some consideration, maybe a set back for them. I would have gotten one as well because I wasn't displaying a proper amount of humility. That rule was definitely a control method, as well as a cover up for any abuse. It also made talking about anything a little dance, because we were surrounded by the whole group all day, but were not allowed to acknowledge that. Just one way to grip our minds a little tighter.
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This is so much like AARC it's scary!!!