Fornits
General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: beccabbyx on May 28, 2009, 10:52:05 PM
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Now what do I do?
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Smoke a bowl.
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If you still are under 18, then it is time to play the act of the nice Stepford-child because that it was your parents ordered and I guess that the contract the paying parent made with AEG gives some kind of discount if you should "relapse". They have other places than Bromley Brook - other places which actually believe it or not - are worse.
If possible try to put down your experiences on paper, get some of the anger out off your system and written off so to say. Writing your story could be a real healing process based on what others have done and in due time maybe you can make some bucks based on what ends up on paper.
Don't try to confront you parents yet. Bromley Brook may not be all what it's claiming in the brochures but it will be your statement against some marketing people, who has a +100,000 dollars salery, so according to experiences by other survivors they won't be ready to accept that they only lost a lot of money and got you hurt in the process. It will come at some point. The Mount Bachelor scandal made some CEDU parents realize what they have done to their child 10-20 years ago. You will get an apology at some point.
When you are 18, you need to get deprogrammed if you feel that the stay at Bromley prevents you from living your life fully. Our boss at Spft writes with a young woman who was victim by Pathway and she got real therapy which have took care of the worse effects of her abuse. He can provide you with a name when the times comes.
Feel free to write me about how Bromley Brook is organized, living conditions, consequences and other un-ethical methods, so the datasheet about Bromley Brook can be expanded (http://http://wiki.fornits.com/index.php?title=Bromley_Brook_School). But wait until you are ready. You have been pushed around enough. Give yourself time to heal. You must remain in focus for you.
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Becca, have you graduated from high school yet? If not, are you going back to your old school / home town / parents?
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I went back to my dads house and a new school.
I lived with my mom previously.
and trust me, i've smoked more than a few bowls.
considering offing myself though, shit never changes.
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considering offing myself though, shit never changes.
Beccabbyx,
I can only hope that you consider that you are stronger for having survived your hardships. That which troubles you now will in time be overcome. I cannot recall who it is that I am quoting when I urge you to “Be strong for there is much to endure. Be brave for there is much to dare.”
Please, also consider those who know and cherish you.
:rose:
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considering offing myself though, shit never changes.
Beccabbyx,
Please, check your private messages.
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I went back to my dads house and a new school. I lived with my mom previously. and trust me, i've smoked more than a few bowls. considering offing myself though, shit never changes.
If you consider your life as linear and you spend just under 20 years with your parents, if you only live until you are sixty that is less than a third of your life, if you live to be 80 it is less than a fourth. You have the power to change EVERYTHING after that period of time, you can live 2/3 or more of your life the way YOU want to live it. You are very near to the point where you can make the changes that you want. Hold on, you can do it. You've made it this far and you are so very close. Don't lose sight of the finish line.
In ten years you'll be amazed at how far you've come. In 15 years, this time right now will be all but a faded memory. In 20 years, you'll look back on your accomplishments and be astounded that you felt like your life was so bleak. Your parents may not ever change, but YOU can. (Mine never have, and I live far from them.)
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I went back to my dads house and a new school. I lived with my mom previously. and trust me, i've smoked more than a few bowls. considering offing myself though, shit never changes.
Hooooold on, please!
Maybe I'm misreading you, but are you saying you'd off yourself if you can't resist the kind bud? Please! Fuck the propaganda! The entire idea that having smoked more than a few bowls is anything evil or shameful is absolute, unadulterated hog wash! Smoke a bowl or joint and enjoy the healing!
If you consider your life as linear and you spend just under 20 years with your parents, if you only live until you are sixty that is less than a third of your life, if you live to be 80 it is less than a fourth. You have the power to change EVERYTHING after that period of time, you can live 2/3 or more of your life the way YOU want to live it. You are very near to the point where you can make the changes that you want. Hold on, you can do it. You've made it this far and you are so very close. Don't lose sight of the finish line.
In ten years you'll be amazed at how far you've come. In 15 years, this time right now will be all but a faded memory. In 20 years, you'll look back on your accomplishments and be astounded that you felt like your life was so bleak. Your parents may not ever change, but YOU can. (Mine never have, and I live far from them.)
This is good advice, kiddo!
Release. God, what a MINDfuck! I went through all kinds of hell and high water to get it... release! Freedome! Liberty! Space! Just leave me the FUCK alone, already, so I can clear my head and THINK!!!!
Well, I got it.
After some trouble
I found myself with a job and lodging and some brand new friends, who really were pretty decent. I had no more battle to fight, no more drama thrust upon me. The bills were paid and I had time off to figure out what to do with the extra earnings. Just... what I wanted and had asked for and gotten, finally... freedom.
So I'm sitting at the end of a rock jetty out into the Gulf on my first day off, just clearing my head, trying to think what to do next. All of a sudden, it occurred to me to wonder if I really existed. How would I know anyway? It was a terrifying moment!
Well, the feeling passed and, after a very shorty while, I found something to do. Raised a family, went on with my life.
This will pass. I promise! Please feel free to contact me if you want to shoot the shit. But don't off yourself. Having never done it, I can't say for sure if you'd regret it or not but my gut tells me so. I'm glad I didn't and I'm pretty sure my kids are glad too.
Hang on and wait to see what happens next.
Antigen
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Beccabyx..
If you'd like I know of a Bromley Brook survivor I can put you in contact with. That is if she wants to talk with you. Maybe sharing experiences could do you both some good?
Beats me, but I guess it can't hurt to try.
Up to you, and welcome back to the world.
Now go smoke a bowl.
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I went back to my dads house and a new school.
I lived with my mom previously.
and trust me, i've smoked more than a few bowls.
considering offing myself though, shit never changes.
Offing yourself is pointless. Sure your life might get worse, but it might not. If you kill yourself, you'll never know what you might miss out on. Like Antigen said, chances are, you'll regret it. Just tough it out. Talking to people helps. Pain is temporary and things get better in time... It has for most of us here and that's pretty good odds, considering what we've been through.
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join CAFTEY's Trauma and Recovery group on facebook and get a referral to a good therapist that specializes in trauma and institutionalized abuse.
If you still feel you were abused, contact CAFETY for your file that documents steps not taken by CPS and the licensing state agency.
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then speak up and speak out - DO something outside of this forum. Don't remain a passive.
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Thanks for passing along this information:
join CAFTEY's Trauma and Recovery group on facebook and get a referral to a good therapist that specializes in trauma and institutionalized abuse. If you still feel you were abused, contact CAFETY for your file that documents steps not taken by CPS and the licensing state agency.
Psy, can you sticky that? Others may find that information helpful.
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Now what do I do?
Live! :cheers:
I hope you're doing okay!