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Messages - escaper

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / "Us and Them"
« on: July 11, 2002, 01:43:00 AM »
Hey, Jerk, welcome with your wordy witty stuff. The years melting away stuff is so key to these forums, aint it strengthening?  Thanks for posting

The Seed Discussion Forum / My Parents
« on: June 15, 2002, 05:29:00 AM »
No kidding anonymous, your experience is so similar to so many others that it hardly deserves that surprised look on the face of all your correspondents. Brother and 25 years are an unthinkable equation unless one or both of you is a total asshole. Just a guess, but I`m thinking you were close enough to only fight once a week before the program happened into your life and I`m further guessing that your parents decided it was necessary to save the family that you have lost for decades.Don`t be angry at my brash description of the aftermath, but rather use it to understand what went on back then. My personal opinion is that this forum is about healing alot more than vengance. Love is just as important as John Lennon hinted it might be before a jealous person murdered him.  I aint mad, just enlightened by the people that post here. Thanks for yours.

The Seed Discussion Forum / back in a week
« on: June 15, 2002, 02:52:00 AM »
Wow on the  vacation and double wow on the  peace of mind it takes to do it. Ginger is definitely the source of inspiration,and certainly the way to figgert out the way to enjoy life after. Bless your heart and those of everybodey that follows. I know Ginger and her heart is true.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Libby
« on: June 14, 2002, 11:22:00 PM »
Hey, Somejoker, thankfully you aren`t one.  Here`s my take on the Art and Shelley thing. Art was schlepping shelley along before I came into contact with that horrid place that consumed my family. I was always under the impression that they were married before the mind rape mill was conceived. I may be wrong as I have squandered much of my mental power trying to forget the whole experience until the first message board on Homestead arrived on the scene. Then I as many more were compelled to relive and in some instances remember for the first time some of the dogma that was left on our psychological sidewalks. Facts are scarce in this head, but that was my impression at that very forgettable juncture. Having escaped relatively unscathed, other than leaving two younger sibs sitting there without even a goodbye, I doubt my own ability to remember anything accurately, as I burned out after doing the older message board after about 3 months of non-stop thinking. I have read that G has archived or imported the older stuff and made it available to this forum. Not savvy enough to get it on my screen, but if you can, there is some very insightful stuff there. Maybe you were a contributor, I don`t know, but she says anyone can pick up on thier old handle and carry the torch into the present. What a cleansing thing for the hundreds who have often wondered, Was it me or what?

The Seed Discussion Forum / My Parents
« on: June 14, 2002, 12:50:00 PM »
Hey, Debi and Freedom.  I live in Bradenton.  Small world.  Came here to get sober and succeeded for 12 1/2 years, then used my free will to try to drink again. Had some success for months, but found again that the cunning, baffling and powerful legal drug takes tons of resolve to manage successfully.  I`m now involved in trying to climb back on the wagon.

The Seed Discussion Forum / My Parents
« on: June 13, 2002, 07:54:00 PM »
I was in Ft. Laud.  apparently one of the first 100 victims.  Went to school at Pompano with Libby, and never understood how such a smart girl was so taken by the program.  Probably the parent abandonment thing, who knows? I actually thought very little about the experience, as they never had me for a minute, I was just biding my time till I could get away and leave town. I`ve been reading the various permutations of message boards and am taken by the stuff I don`t often read about, success and actualization of the torn-apart lives that filtered through the mill over the years.

The Seed Discussion Forum / My Parents
« on: June 13, 2002, 01:25:00 PM »
I`m a seed non-graduate who escaped after only 2 months in October of 1971.  I was 19 and had done a stint in the Army so was less disabled by the experience than most.  Five of us sibs had different levels of exposure to the madness, all with varying degrees of damage.  There is no rational way to explain the fact that your own parents give you over to a bunch of crazies and consider the percieved problem to be solved. All my sibs have lives and families that are at least as happy as the Cleavers seemed. I slowed way down on illegal drugs after my experience in the experiment, but used alcohol because it was legal and available for 20 years.  I then jumped on the wagon for better than a decade to remove some cobwebs and started a small family. I`m generally happy with my life, but regret the rift that was undoubtedly caused by our experience at the Seed and Straight. I haven`t spoken to my Mother for 7-8 years and don`t plan to open myself up for any more of her damaging abuse. She has tried many times to sabotage my life and success and I just grew tired of it, after having more contact with her than any other sib for many years.  As far as everyone`s differing perceptions of the same basic experience, I think we all have to decide what works for us in life, or "whatever floats your boat".  Some people bail it out and others fix the hole. The Three Stooges drill another hole to let the water out. That would be akin to joining another program to fix any percieved problems that were probably perpetuated by a program in the first place.  I love you all in a way much different than Art demonstrated.  He was and probably is a megalomaniac who may or may not have evaluated the damage that he did to hundreds of families while pretending to repair them. Thanks for the opportunity to explain my experience. I thrive on the evidence that there are so many articulate survivors, and feel great sorrow for the many who did not come away from the madness. 30 years is half a lifetime and a princely sum to pay for our parent`s lack of ability to solve the problems they imagined in us all.

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