Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

UPDATE:
My family (mom and sister) went to visit my daughter again at Thayer this past weekend.  I have been on campus 3 times since December 2004.  Visits are held on campus.  

We all have seen remarkable changes in my daughter.  She now stands straight and confident.  She regards everyone with respect.  She was a team leader in boot camp.  She now knows that she CAN accomplish many things without a GUY, just as we told her she could.  She is now working hard in her studies.  She's been to the dentist and continues to go on a monthly basis.  They do community service in the community, off campus.  She has a goal to get through high school and attend college.  She plans on continuing with the exercise after Thayer.

We weren't able to help her here at home because she would pull one of her antics on the days that she had counseling appointments.  My daughter has NOT been abused at Thayer.  She understands why she is there but that doesn't mean she likes it.

She's now working toward a weekend visit in July.

"I was just wondering if your child put you through so much the last year, did you ever stop to think what you might have done in her earlier years or present that might have contributed to her attitude.

Maybe you need to look at yourself in the mirror and see if maybe there is something you need to change instead of sending your child off to be "corrected" by someone totally unqualified."

Point taken.  I have more children than just my daughter.  All the children live under the same rules at home.  The other children don't have a problem with it at all.  My daughter decided when she turned 16 that rules (any rules) didn't apply to her.  She had this 18 year old boyfriend that helped her a lot into getting into trouble (fear of getting pregnant twice).  They ran away to the French Quarter to make a 'life' for themselves.  The laws in this state require a parent to actively participate in locating and bringing back your child who has run away (under the age of 18).  She ran off several times after this and swore she was doing drugs (although now she claims not to have touched any thing except for alcohol).  She was taken to the ER 4 times.  We've called the police on her various times for her violent behavior (threatening a younger sibling), running away, playing the suicide card, etc.  She made it to class 5 times last quarter.  (Five days out of six weeks.)  She was in JAC once.  She was in the mental hospital twice.  She was able to manipulate mental health doctors into giving her anti depressants.  We made counseling appointments for her, she acted up the days she was suppose to see her, those appointments were cancelled as my daughter ended up in the mental hospital (playing the game).  The list goes on and on.

It is easy to say to a parent, 'why didn't you parent her better'.  We are talking about teenagers here, they think they are invincible and don't have to live by the rules.  With counselors (doctors) and police departments on different pages, it's a wonder our children can manipulate the system.  They learn it from their friends.  In some peer groups this behavior is expected.  On the other hand, when a parent steps in and takes that child away from those groups---those so called friends never call to see what's up.

These children make choices on their own, some know the consequences of these choices, some gravely don't.  We had to stop her from making choices that would ultimately take her to the grave.

Sometimes it's not the parents fault children turn out the way they do.  Sometimes it is.  What could I have done differently?  Take her out of public school and place her into a small ratio (military based) christian school.  Where respect for yourself and everyone around you is re-enforced with what is taught at home.  That's what I would do differently if I had the chance to do it over again.

It's too bad that abuse runs wild everywhere.  Just recently, we had a teacher accused of having an affair with one or more of his students in a public school.  Kids are still shooting each other on school grounds.  Bullies are still taking potshots at their victims.  It's around no matter where you go.   [ This Message was edited by: Cruella on 2005-03-17 07:49 ]

I'm not joking.  I did take the tour.  We took our daughter there ourselves, showed up unannounced and toured the place, before making the final decision to enroll her there.  Sure it's hard, it's military boot camp.

I thank you for the information you've provided and will think about it.  I've done a lot of research about this place before deciding on it over places that were similar, this one seemed to fit our daughter better.  I will email you.[ This Message was edited by: Cruella on 2005-03-16 08:01 ]

My daughter is at Thayer.  She entered 12/04.  I believe she is making the program work for her.  She was lost before the decision was made to enroll her there.  She made bad choices and doors of opportunity were beginning to close.  She is making remarkable changes in her life with the help of Thayer.  I'm sure there will be questions, flaming, etc., with my decision to send her to boot camp, but looking at the alternatives for her, this was the best choice.