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« on: September 01, 2004, 10:02:00 AM »
It was 30 years ago but I remember it like yesterday. I remember doing the "Hokey Pokie" in afternoon exercises outside. I remember eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and watered down cool-aid (1 cup). I rememeber Art Barker doing the soft shoe shuffle for us while smoking out of his cigarette holder, he told us that we would save the world,(I believed him). Art was our higher power, I was in awe in his presence, he was very charismatic and he made the staff look like they had orgasms when he was around them. I was a 15 year old virgin but I had the incredible hots for some of the female staff( almost all of Art's staff choices were really good looking) I felt very guilty but was a red-blooded american male. I rememeber Suzy Conners telling me to stand up and the entire group ripped me a new ass for the whole afternoon and I had to start over in the front row. Someone had turned me in for being in a bad mood with my mother(lack of sleep caused it). My mom had come down from Cleveland and lived in A trailer park and we had a shit-load of seedlings staying with us until I started over. I felt like the biggest, most worthless piece of shit that ever lived throughout history. Eventually mom went back to Cleveland and I lived with over a dozen families in the 14 months that I was in Florida. I went to South Plantation High School and never talked to a single person. As a seedling I thought we were the choosen ones and I looked down upon everybody else. I rememeber all of us going to the Orange Bowl Stadium in Miami to sing "America" on the field. We were almost Booed to death but I still felt superior to everybody. We were wearing our seed T-shirts and blue jeans ( We were clones).
I rememeber sitting on those hard chairs at the seed on Alligator Alley from 10:00 in the morning until 10:00 at night. I remember singing lots of songs (some of them were "I love Art" or "We love Art") How Cultlike. I rememeber smoking on the hour or when the rap leader smokes. I rememeber gaurding the doors after I got off the front row so nobody would escape. I remember Black Robert cutting my hair and driving Art's limo. I was afraid of John Underwood, he was scary looking. Libby was senior staff and looked really cold hearted, she would rip you apart if you were caught day dreaming. Rick Bertain was the head maintenance guy, I always liked him, he would periodically lead raps and I found him very interesting. Cliff always stood on the side and nashed his teeth, he was older than most but was always a nice guy. Anne was a tall, skinny blonde, she was kinda laxidasical but could turn into a bitch when she led raps. Billy was a midget and he always made jokes, I think he had been a jockey that rode horses. Scott B. was a funny guy but he could also become deadly serious. Darlene was Art's red-headed play toy. Shelley(Art's wife) was kind of aloof, she would only talk to us when Art insisted. Suzy Barker was Art's niece, she worked in the office and never lead groups. Just before the Seed moved to Cleveland she came and talked to me about meeting a priest from the Cleveland political arena in the upstairs office. She told me to smile and tell the priest that I was happy and glad to be off drugs and that the seed was a wonderful place and should open in Cleveland to help kids. Suzy Barker was very pretty and amorous and I used to fantasize about making love to her.
My memories are both good and bad, in essance the seed helped me because I was emotionally troubled and was getting D's and F's in school before the seed and I got A's and B's after I cleaned up my act. I was never a drug addict, actually I just experimented with pot and L.S.D. and I stayed clean and sober for 5 years afterwards. I was hanging around a group of other graduates but they shunned me when I started drinking. I was never accepted for who I was, I had to be a phony and pretend to be all "bubbly" about the seed. We had to say all the "right stuff" in rap groups and around other seedlings but we couldnt be ourselves or ask any questions. I was never a popular person and always felt like an outsider who wasnt accepted into one of the "inner circles". I was successfully brainwashed for a few years and it took me a while to realize it was all about Art Barker becoming a wealthy Guru. I also remember " we sing jingle bells cause everyday were straight , it's like christmas. What a mind-bending experience we all had.
More later, Jimmy :grin: :grin: :grin: