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Messages - PerfectStraightling

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1
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Re: Talk with Mom about Straight
« on: January 29, 2007, 12:21:01 AM »
Quote from: ""Carmel""
Last night I went to dinner with my mom here in Austin.  Nice place, good food.  About the middle of our meal the manager came up to us and asked if everything was to our liking and so forth.  I kept looking at him, as he looked SO familiar.  I sort of forgot what he was saying and just blurted out "Whats your name?"....My sense of decorum had blown out the window and it was a very interrogatory tone I took with him, it was almost instinctual.

Turns out he was exactly who I thought he was, a guy who was on fifth when I went into the program.  He told me his first name, and
I tagged his last onto it.  He didnt recognize me right away, so I pulled him across the table and whispered "I was in Straight with you".  Weird realization ensued....and he just smiled and started telling me about how he was doing these days.

My clearest memory of him was standing me up at the very begining of an OMR which almost exclusively was dedicted to ripping me and my sanity to shreds.  Frankly, I wasnt too concerned with how he was doing lately.  He was courteous and all, but I spent the rest of the meal paranoid about being in the room with him.

That being said...mom and I started talking about Straight on the way home. Something that always ends up unsettling.  I was telling her about some of the abusive things I witnessed and encountered....of which she tried to counter with her horror stories of being in the convent for 14 years (mom was a cloistered nun from age 18-32).  She says to me,  imagine how it was to go through it for 14 years!  I got a little angry and told her that it really wasnt fair to say that, as she had the choice to leave at any time while in the convent.  I was incarcerated and under duress.  Of which she replied that no, that wasnt the case because her "therapists" all told her later on that she was stuck there "emotionally".  Effectively saying that she wasnt responsible for herself while in there because she was too brainwashed.  I dunno about you guys, but I reallly hate it when mom tries to justify her behaviors with the old "I didnt know any better" routine.  She applies it to most everything these days...and lately has begun even making things up about certain painful incidents that are so far from the truth I wonder if she isnt losing her mind.  I talk to her about traumatizing incidents when I was young that she exposed me too, and her answers are always sprinkled with how she knew it was wrong, but for whatever reason, usually someone elses influence...she didnt stand up for me.  That or she insists that she never screamed at me for certain things at all, and in fact tried to comfort me about them.....I almost slapped her once when she did this, I was so angry.  She had bullied and yelled at me so horrificly once because I accidently dropped a new doll and it broke (it was glass).  Only now to tell me that she never even got angry at me, and in fact tried to "comfort" me.  I was traumatized by that incident for the better part of my childhood....and she insisted she was never cruel.

Anyone else get this?


Gosh....I havent been over here in a long time. But yes I get this! Its so weird because I finally just stopped talking to my mom completely. Yes she sounds impossible to talk to. Just like my mom.

Sorry.

2
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / in the mind of a bad girl
« on: March 28, 2006, 10:29:00 PM »
why is my mother going to leave me here because this lady is calling me a liar when I'm not lying?I hate my mother, she is crazy, not me. She is paranoid and wants to control me to feel better about herself. And torture me.

I should run out of the intake room. I think this for about 5 hours until jennifer loar comes in and about rips their heads off for letting me sit right by the door. I WAS planning this big escape out the whole time I was sitting there, trying to remember where the front door was, and how many fields of empty grass surrounded the buidling in the middle of nowhere.

I hear something about a two week evaluation period and feel some relief. Later on, however, i was laughed at in our big van for thinking i would be released in two weeks. they thought it was funny that I actually believed that, even though i had never done drugs. was i missing something? it was an evaluation.

strip search by mean girls that i can't recall...having all of my clothes taken away, being given a nightgown that was full of lace and unbearably itchy. then confronted when I complained of the lace and the itch, beacuse people in africa didnt' apparently have the luxury of itchy lace. lucky fucking them. plus, it proved i was superficial and was a big phony and just a manipulative teenager who was only out for myself and instant gratification. clearly on my way to death if not stopped cold. dead in my tracks. and out of love, no less.

funny, I still love love, but not their kind. that wasn't love. that was the twilight zone.

3
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / in the mind of a bad girl
« on: March 28, 2006, 10:20:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-03-20 12:49:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
When they finally told me to sit down, I was just fucking stunned! What the hell was going on here? I'm fighting back my tears, trying to get control of myself, when she reaches over and takes my pinkie and ring finger into her hand and gives me a gentle squeeze. One quick look into my eyes ( make sure nobody sees) and then she's back to looking like she's listening to what someone else is now sayin, but she didn't let go of my fingers. When she had to motivate, she's let go, but as soon as she could, she'd take my fingers into her hand, giving me reassurance just thru her touch.

I never sat next to her again ( probably cause someone saw her) but when ever we'd have a chance she's always give me that quick smile."


I love this story. what a strength of soul on her part. sounds like a guardian angel or something. Anyone have those experiences? Like one time I was standing in the rain outside of this community college waiting for my mom to pick me up, who was late as usual (flaky lady that she is), but i had to stand in the rain or else i couldn't see if her car was out there or not. There was this girl, who didn't say one word to me, but just smiled, and shared her umbrella with me. We didn't say one word the whole time until my mom got there. I told her thanks. but for some reason she seemed sort of like a guardian angel to me. just there to let me know there is kindness in this world after all.

4
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dallas Straight Guest Book
« on: January 21, 2006, 07:01:00 PM »
Yes. It was the same person that used to always attack sammie and carmel, then he started calling for ginger to stop his own attacks, while calling everyone pedophiles. This is a bunch of BS.

I know of some other attacks that went on, but probably 90% of this shit has been created and promoted by one person, now maybe two.

5
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dallas Straight Guest Book
« on: January 21, 2006, 01:19:00 PM »
Here's the law:

If Ginger started monitoring this site, and said as much, SHE would then be held legally responsible for every single thing that gets posted on here. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want that responsibility. There have been pages upon pages upon pages going on and on about how Ginger is failing us all, and I am sick of reading about it. That's all.

Besides, being pro-free speech does not equal being pro-abuse. If someone is posting threats, or things that can mess with your life in some way, there are legal recourses. They just don't involve putting Ginger in jail.

6
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dallas Straight Guest Book
« on: January 20, 2006, 10:49:00 PM »
yeah a lot of things would be nice.

7
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dallas Straight Guest Book
« on: January 20, 2006, 08:18:00 PM »
I was just about to say that. This is the fucking dallas thread, go someplace else! I'm  sick of reading these stupid posts. Go take a class on media law or something, I don't care. Ginger doesn't have to do shit except to state what she is or istn' doing here. If you don't like it, leave.

8
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Nothin' at all.( How I got court ordered/cop-out#4)
« on: January 10, 2006, 12:42:00 PM »
Thanks for your story Starry-Eyed. It reminds me of the feeling of sitting in group thinking about how freaking hard it was to cop out. But how much you wanted to. That's a fucking shitty feeling.

9
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am NOT this Animals guy, OK?
« on: January 08, 2006, 01:44:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-01-05 21:14:00, Antigen wrote:

"He's were this Animals guy :exclaim:



A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.

--Samuel Clemens "Mark Twain", American author and humorist





_________________

Drug war POW

Straight, Sarasota

`80 - `82"


Why is this so funny.

10
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Intake Records, etc.
« on: January 04, 2006, 10:59:00 AM »
They have to keep, and provide, the records for usually 5-7 years, depending on the state. If you had some sort of proof or if you had known (not likely as a teenager) that it was your right at that time, you probably could have gotten your records. At this point, if it's past the 5 or 7 years since you were in there, there's likely nothing that can be done unfortunately, except to help educate people who more recently got out of a facility.

11
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / A Straight, Inc. Xmas?
« on: December 23, 2005, 11:51:00 PM »
I deeply believe that our emotions are always out of our control until we feel them, and take a good look at them. Then we can make a decision to think or act differently. Trying to force emotions aside is what allowed me to never forget about straight, until I started reading other people's stories here. It brought up a whole host of emotions for months, I could hardly stop talking about it or feeling overwhelmed. Now, they are getting weaker and weaker, I can think about it and yes still get occasionally upset, but nothing like it felt a couple of years ago.

Here's to grieving![ This Message was edited by: JMA on 2005-12-23 20:52 ]

12
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Tomorrow
« on: December 23, 2005, 01:31:00 AM »
You have a very moving story, and you also tell it very well.

Hope you have a good Christmas.  :smile:

13
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dallas Straight (Who you Remember)
« on: December 22, 2005, 04:07:00 PM »
I'll try to make a list, too:

Jennifer P.
Stacey (the gymnast)
Laura (with red hair)
Laura (from australia)
Michelle (with white hair)
Lori B.
Michelle (with blonde hair)
Marilee K.
Jana T.
There's more but their names escape me at the moment

Here's more staff (I just got out my MIs):

Trainees:
Scott L.
Justine P.
Stephanie P.
Mark G.
Ed F.
Bob B.
Timmy K.

Juniors:
Sherri O.
Jennifer L.
Shelly B.
Brett S.
Garett C.

Seniors:
Kathy D.
Steve B.
Brad M.
Craig M.

Executives:
Executive trainee: Mr. Lambart
Executives: Mrs. Meanes, Mrs. Cameron, Mrs. Waite, Mr. Borland

Directors:
Medical director: Dr. Scateral
Director of Psychiatric services: Dr. Romac
Assistant adm. of clinical services: Mrs. Petito
Program administrator: Mr. Dorty

Other staff:
I'll leave off I think they are parents

14
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Foregiveness
« on: December 22, 2005, 01:49:00 AM »
Ahh, A Course In Miracles. I tried that for a while.

15
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dallas Straight Guest Book
« on: December 15, 2005, 12:47:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-12-15 09:31:00, jraypdxxx wrote:

"Jim Horn 89

Carmel Woods (Fales) Mar '90~Nov '90.

Lisa Hartman mar 1991~june 1991

Jane A. 1989

Shanna Reynolds Dec 1987~?

Lesle Porter Aug 1989~Jan 1991

Timmy Kemp April 6,1987~Jan 20,1989

delaney clark 3-87 - 11-88

Brad Beshears 4-2-1988 ~ 12-25-1988 "


I can think of lots of other names that were there with me, I just wouldn't know exactly how long they were there. Should we just make a list (without their last names?)

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