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Messages - JaLong

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31
The Seed Discussion Forum / some simple actions to take
« on: September 16, 2005, 12:49:00 PM »
Marc, This is great. Maybe finally someone will stop the abuse of children in treatment programs all over the world. Thank you for this information.
Julie

32
The Seed Discussion Forum / In Re : Physical Abuse v. Psychological Abuse
« on: September 14, 2005, 11:05:00 PM »
OK Greg Now something is going on. Yeah! My best friend was staff in the seed. Her mother and some other parents of my "druggie friends" got together and heard how great the seed was. That is how I got in there. (along with a phoney court order). By the way, my former best friend is a lost puppie, going back to some very hard drugs after she left the seed. Guess it messed up some staff members too?? Haven't seen her since she left. Her brother told me not to even try to get in touch with her. "It would break my heart."
Julie

33
The Seed Discussion Forum / Further qustions for John U...
« on: September 14, 2005, 10:30:00 PM »
Hey Greg,
I totally agree with Robin. I have been reading the posts, yet have felt there has been no real sharing here. Just smart a** comments going from one person to the other. This site was great when I was first told about it, but now I have lost interest. Just being honest!

34
The Seed Discussion Forum / One more thing...
« on: September 08, 2005, 12:09:00 PM »
Congatulations on your first grandchild. I hope you find having a grandson blesses you, and brings you joy as my 2 have.  ::birthday::

35
The Seed Discussion Forum / The Seed compared to Str8
« on: September 07, 2005, 12:35:00 AM »
Ginger, I went to the sight about people taking their names off of the graduated numbers from straight. I'll tell you Ginger, I knew straight was worse then the seed for the kids, ie- tv shows,news, newspapers, and then HRS ? closing them down because of abuse claims. Yet, reading what all those people wrote sent chills up my spine. Yes the seed was a rough one, but my God, straight was so much worse. We had hardly any abuse, except for 2 when I was in there (73) by parents whooping their sons. Yes, we were abused mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, but nothing like what you went through in sraight. I have often thought about suing Art Barker, but Betty and Mel need a rude awakening. Guess money has power, and since Bush is a whimp, he can't see the forest through the trees. I am glad you have that site too. It sure opened my eyes to the terror you all went through. I am so sorry you and others here had to suffer so much.

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The Seed Discussion Forum / I'm serious--let's do something
« on: September 06, 2005, 07:15:00 AM »
I think  it is a great idea. I too think it would be best if there were many signatures. That would get the message out louder if we sign as a group united. I know St.Pete Times would grab onto this since it was here, and they are a liberal newspaper. Please keep me informed. Thanks.
I have a question. I remember years back there was a guy who talked around the country about the seed and the damage it had done to most. Etc, etc. Does anyone know who that was?

37
The Seed Discussion Forum / What is your Seed Status?
« on: September 05, 2005, 12:25:00 PM »
I was going to the store with my dad, my mom came running out of the door saying she wanted to go.I was stuck between the two of them in the front seat. As we drove up Park St. my dad pulled a court order out of his front pocket and announced I was going into the seed. That was July 73.(17 yrs old). I don't remember how long I was on the front row, or really any of the rest, but I was out of there 10 1/2 months later. I know I went back to school and graduated with honors, and I had 11 newcomers, all busters. :smile: Yes, I was one too.

38
The Seed Discussion Forum / simple response to John Underwood
« on: September 04, 2005, 02:58:00 PM »
Ginger, Who is the DFAF and DPNA? I'd really would like to know. I agree our government has blood all over it's hands all over the world. It makes me sick. I was not scolding you. I was  asking you some questions. I have no anamosity towards you at all. It just feels to "me", whenever someone replies to one of your posts, you try to blast them out of the water. I don't even know you, just your posts. Were you in the St.Pete seed? Again, as my letter back to Marc said, if I have offended you in any way I apologize, and ask your forgiveness.

39
The Seed Discussion Forum / simple response to John Underwood
« on: September 04, 2005, 02:44:00 PM »
Marc,Thank you for your kind and gentle words. I really appreciate them. I know that a lot of people are still tramatized by the seed, and straight. I do feel for all. I am by no means standing in judgement of anyone here or on the outside. That is not who I am, and it is not my job to do so. I was not rebuking Ginger, just posing some questions to her. I was not attacking her. I'm not even sure I know her. I was stating some facts about our worlds messes, as Ginger always does, and my main question was asking what does anger solve? Nothing in my book. I like the saying, "you can get more from honey, then vinegar." I know for myself, if I remained angry at all the injustices done to me, alng with all of theinjustices in the world, I would not grow. I would be stagnant. I like to challenge myself, even if it causes me physical pain, or exhaustion. I learned in AA, when I use to go with my old boyfriend who just died in Feb, that "we are to share our experience, strength, and hope with each other." And "to reach out to those still suffering." That is why I like this forum, and that is why I share here. I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. I use to be just a survior,(and always will be), but now I try to live life to the best of my capabilities. If any of my words have offended anyone, especially you Ginger, I sincerely apologize.

40
The Seed Discussion Forum / simple response to John Underwood
« on: September 04, 2005, 01:02:00 AM »
My, my Ginger,
Yes, there is a thing such as justifiable anger. And I WILL NOT get into a disagreement with you. The world and it's people are going to hell in breadbasket for all the crap that is going on right now. Yes, I agree We, the "great united states of america" don't belong in Irag, or anywhere else as far as I am concerned. Heck, the government does not even help the people right here, such as those who are suffering from Francine, including one of our own, Chris Lewis who lost his home. Should I be angry at the Gov. for making my brother-in -law take little white pills, be on the front line during Desert Storm, and is now sick? Should I feel anger about the genocide in Sudan, where we just sit and let it happen? Sure I feel some anger Ginger, but tell me, is that going to change a darn thing? NOT! If you choose to walk around feeling all of this anger about the state of the world, let me ask you something? Are you in Sudan being a shield to protect just one child? Are you in Irag being a shield for a child there, or have a pen pal you can write to and lift up one soliders day? I have 3. Are you in New Orleans helping people? Rant and rave and be angry all you want Ginger, but who is that going to help? Is it giving you peace Ginger?
I do what I can right here in my own backyard. Raising my children(and no, my pretty 3 daughters and son have not snorted powder up their noses). I am also an AIDS buddy, and have two buddies I see at least twice a week because their families have abandoned them. I have been a team parent for my daughter's softball team for 4 yrs, and I volunteer at the free Clinic here in downtown St. Pete. I'll say one more thing Ginger. If I didn't have children at home that I need to raise, believe you me, I'd be at the Red Cross being trained, using my RN liscence, to help at the triage places for our own poor, hungry, homless, and desolete Americans affected by Francine. So, my dear Ginger, take all of that anger you have, and find somewhere where you can make a difference. People need your help.

41
The Seed Discussion Forum / simple response to John Underwood
« on: September 03, 2005, 02:47:00 PM »
Marc, I don't have sympathy for John, I'd call it empathy. John was not the only staff member in the seed. I don't agree with you when you said,"he perpetrated systematic physhologial abuse." Sure I felt I was emotionally abused in the seed, but to blame it on John is going a little too far. Come on now, it was 1973 when my parents threw me in there. I was abusive to my parents and sisters, but mainly myself. No, I didn't have full awareness of that at the time, and not even during the 10 months I was in the seed. Yet, yrs later I could sit back and pick what I wanted to use, and throw the rest away. But guess what Marc? It was with the help of a counslor. I needed help when I got out of there, yet I had made some very close friends back then.I met my best friend when she got out and we have been friends now for 32yrs. To me that is a rarity, and a true blessing. With the help of this forum, I have been re-united with quite a few friends from back in the days. It feels as if these past 32 yrs did not come between people I learned to truely love for the first time in my life.
When I said "grow up", I was speaking to some people who CHOOSE to spew venom at each other. The way I see it is this. If people who were in the seed are still messed up and angry, they need some help. Anger only hurts the one who carrries it in their heart, not the people they are angry with. Know what I'm saying? I know some people are still pretty messed up. I can't even mention the seed without my sister telling me she doesn't want to talk about it. She took only 1 hit off a joint when she was 14, but my parents were told, if she doesn't come in I cannot go home. Now is that a non-founded threat or what? I shotgunned her with more weed, as I locked her in the bathroom, then she ever smoked. She hated the stuff.
So, Marc, I will be honest with you and I don't care what anyone else here or anywhere thinks about what I'm going to say. In 1979, 6 yrs after the seed, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. Then and only then was I able to let go and let God. My faith has helped me get through a divorce from a cheating husband, being homeless 3 times with a month old baby and a newborn, going to college(@ 30) to get my RN, while raising two small children, and getting hurt at work, which caused me to have 11 surgeries, and being disabled since 1991, and a heart attack on top of that in 2001. So life isn't always a bed of roses, but it can still be beautiful with a positive attitude, and beliving in "Someone greater then myself Who has restored me to sanity". So, that's my story Marc. I have some fond memories of the seed, thanks to Susie Conners who took me under her wing at my old timers house where female staff lived. But I also had some horrid times in there. We agree on that don't we? Take care.

42
The Seed Discussion Forum / simple response to John Underwood
« on: September 02, 2005, 06:16:00 PM »
Marc...., I have learned that "getting out of your head" is just that. There are times still I find myself dwelling on something and not solving the problem. It's the same as "stop running Sh** on your head". The seed wanted us to think the same as everyone else, but we are grown now and hopefully think for ourselves. Sitting and stewing about something is just a waste of time. Know what I'm saying?? I'm glad you're here, but give John a break. I think it took him a lot of thinking before he ever wrote on this site. Can you imagine the private messages he must get, full of anger and wrath? I know he doesn't take it personally, yet it is still un-called for. We all had a rough time in the seed, but I'll say for myself, I am still drug and alchol free. Thank God!! I think John was telling others to forgive the past and the seed. That is what it is-- The past. Yes, we are shaped by our past, YET GOOD GOD people. Grow up!

43
The Seed Discussion Forum / The Seed compared to Str8
« on: September 01, 2005, 08:55:00 PM »
Amen John! I was court ordered(not one offense against me) but my intake person(can't remember her name right now Mrs?) said if i didn't sign the papers I would go to jail. Yeah right!! She told me St.PBCH, T.I, Seminole, and Pass-a-grill cops knew all about my drug dealings. Another yeah right!! :lol:
Anyhoo, I agree with your quote. Some of you here who have to rant and rag on John need to let go and forgive, if that's the problem with you. John just did what he thought was right, under the direction of Art. Leave him alone!!
Julie

44
The Seed Discussion Forum / The Seed compared to Str8
« on: September 01, 2005, 08:43:00 PM »
What do you mean anyone could just leave?? Not when I was in the seed in '73. If someone tried to leave they were wrestled to the ground. I did that to one of my newcomers. Thank God she had long hair. I threw off my shoes, took off running after her, grabbed her long hair, and body slammed her to the ground. Then she was started over. My old boyfriend came in to get me out. He threw a chair across the room, and spilt that night. If you were in there on your own it was a shorter time. Court ordered(phoney) as I was was, 30 days away from home. 10 1/2 months later I was an old timer. 2 meetings later I just quit going.

45
The Seed Discussion Forum / One more thing...
« on: August 27, 2005, 08:55:00 PM »
Marshall I totally understand what you are syaing here, and my sis Robin. I haven't posted in awhile, but I have to say I hated being court(Phoney) ordered into the seed. Yeah, I got high every day, I drank every day, and I was a real hard a**. I stole, helped with an armed robbery, and was just a total jerk. I was 17 when I went into the seed, but I didn't even know who I was, or even what feelings were. In the 10 months that I was in there I felt the pressure to conform. But conform to what? If I didn't I was afraid I'd never get out of there. Slowly but surely I started to discover some feelings inside myself. I know I didn't like what I saw when I looked into the mirror, yet as time went by I started to like myself. I came out of there not only off drugs and drink, but having a little better understanding of whom I was. I am glad my parents forced me to go, because I know I would be dead right along with my 16 old "druggie" friends. They were still lost, yet I went on with my life. I have no resentments nor anger towards anyone or my experience in the seed either. That is all in my past, yet the good parts of it I still have with me. My family was dysfunctional, and in some ways still are. Yeah know how things get swept under the rug. I'm still told not to bring issues up. That's not dealing with the issues, that's just putting them somewhere else. But whoops, it's still there. I tend to want to deal with my issues as soon as I can, then let them go. I follow the saying, "let go and let God". If it weren't for Him I'd still be a lost, confused woman. Thanks Marshall for being so open and honest. I appreciate it, and everyone else who shares their experience, strength, and hope. God Bless. Julie

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