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Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Botched Programming on December 28, 2009, 09:39:31 PM

Title: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 28, 2009, 09:39:31 PM
Hey guys..... Does anyone remember being started over???? Life has recently threw me a lead weight as I'm sinking fast.

This sucks ass in the biggest way!!!! Here recently I was arrested for a DUI.... The company I worked for was so helpful that they decided to let me go. I have been attempting to file for unemployment and gotten denied, CORPORATE USA MUST have taken lessons from STRAIGHT as they are trying to say I voluntarily resigned from my position since I did not report in for 3 days as I was in jail. I did advise them by email the day before I had to go to court letting them know the truth. I did not get the DUI on company time and was only in jail a few days.  :suicide:

It's stupid how the state of Florida is on their laws as they make it seem that the crime is worse than any capital offense. Now it makes it damn near impossible to get a job. And in these times that we are living in are lean.  :bs:

I now am having to resort to applying at jobs that are almost minimum wage and am getting no bites due to the fact I made soooo much more an hour. Don't get me wrong, I do know how to be humble, and this is not due to being in Straight but just dealing with life itself.  :ftard:

To be honest I am almost broken at this point. Almost ready to pack my shit, move back to the desolate place I moved from 13 years ago, and prove Straight right that I am going to be in JAIL, INSTITUTIONS, OR DEAD.

Don't get me wrong, not thinking of killing myself or any stupid shit like that, but am unsure what to do!!!! I am engaged to a beautiful woman who loves me. But the thing is me being out of work is KILLING our relationship.

I appologize to you guys for rambling.... LOL but I had to share my FEELINGS...  :eek:

Botched
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: psy on December 28, 2009, 09:54:31 PM
Well.  Your life isn't over.  You'll find a lower paying job, and after you show you can retain that for a reasonable amount of time, I'm sure you'll be able to get something similar to what you had before.  Don't lose hope.  Next time just don't drink and drive.  Risking your own health I'm all in full support of but when you drive under the influence you put others at risk which is wrong.

Maybe, you could use the "voluntary resignation" thing.  If that is officially what happened, then you might be able to cite that as your method of leaving.  As a reason you could cite personal/philosophical differences, which is enough of the truth... no need to go all program confessional if it's not required.  If the company says you resigned, you resigned.  As for reasons they'll give to others, they're probably too scared of getting sued to say it was because you got a DUI.  Just some ideas there.  You might want to consult some job placement/advice professional or read a book on the topic.

The end is not nigh and Straight was not right.  I know how those fears can crop up from time to time, instilled phobias that they are.  You made a mistake, and one that will cost you, but it will not end you, and in time, you'll be better off as you'll learn from the experience and in all likelyhood won't make the same mistake.
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Ursus on December 28, 2009, 10:43:58 PM
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
This sucks ass in the biggest way!!!! Here recently I was arrested for a DUI.... The company I worked for was so helpful that they decided to let me go. I have been attempting to file for unemployment and gotten denied, CORPORATE USA MUST have taken lessons from STRAIGHT as they are trying to say I voluntarily resigned from my position since I did not report in for 3 days as I was in jail. I did advise them by email the day before I had to go to court letting them know the truth. I did not get the DUI on company time and was only in jail a few days.
What ROT! Corporations pull this shit all the time!  :flame:

I'm not sure at what stage you are at as to fighting the bogus "voluntary resignation," but you might want to consult with an attorney ASAP as to where you stand (over the phone should suffice). You want to ask about the pros and cons of contesting the forced resignation (meaning you want to file for unemployment) vs. not contesting it (and being able to cite philosophical differences as to why you left that job).

Also, it can't hurt to "ask a legal question," or to "search past answers": http://www.lawguru.com/ (http://www.lawguru.com/)
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 28, 2009, 10:44:48 PM
Thanks Psy....
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Froderik on December 29, 2009, 11:24:19 AM
Best of luck to you, Botched. You & I are in kind of the same boat right now. I barely earn enough for child support every month.

  ::unhappy::  ::deadhorse::
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Anonymous on December 29, 2009, 06:37:18 PM
Hey Botched, been there, done that, time is the only real way to resolve the bulk of consequences stemming from a DUI. Good luck with that... but whatever you do, I implore you to NOT do like this lady did...

http://fredericksburg.com/News/Web/2009/122009/1229spot (http://fredericksburg.com/News/Web/2009/122009/1229spot)
 :beat:  :beat:  :beat:
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Anonymous on January 01, 2010, 11:25:51 AM
Hey I understand - my DUI came at 45. Been almost 3 years now from my arrest.  It sucks tho as all job apps I must admit that I've been arrested for DUI.   It seems that most corporations only care about the DUI during the first 3 years or so.   Got offered a engineering job paying around 100k, but after the back ground check was completed, the job offer was reniged.   Was told after 3 years to reapply.  

Local gov jobs seem to hold a DUI against a person for around 5  years or so.   I will tell you that gettng arrested for DUI certainly changed my drinking habits.    Don't drink and drive anymore, so I think I've learned my lesson.    Recently took a job that pays a lot less than I'm used to, but it is because of the economy not my DUI record.  Good luck; hang in there, things will get better.
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on January 24, 2010, 04:19:15 PM
Thanks guys for positive word of encouragement .... LOL.... Did not mean that to sound "Programish" just "Botched Programming" hence the name...  Things really a mess.... no money in 3 months... fighting for unemployment... on probation... fiance cant handle the financial ordeal...

Nothing else to do.... going to ask probation officer to let me do my time, tuck my tail between my legs and cower home to N.C.....

As fucked as this may seem .... seems like the only course of action I have at this point.

Love the woman with all my heart... can't even fathom being without her... as I said before... Better now than after marriage vows... " For better or Worse"... Strong words for feeble people to live by....

If things changed in my situation I would still be for better or worse... and at this point there will be no one to replace her....

I wish her a happy life that gives her everything she wants and deserves...

Thanks for allowing me to ramble...

Botched
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Anonymous on January 24, 2010, 07:28:27 PM
Botched you hang in there and remember life can and will change. This I do know. Also I have found that there is little if anything we control, except for one thing my attitude. Yes what I do with my thoughts. My thoughts control much in my life,
 so why not get in front of them.
My empathy is with you. Stay close to the ground, my friend.......Thanks
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: psy on January 24, 2010, 10:07:07 PM
Very sad to hear all of that, but if you stay strong, things will be fine.  Everybody has down-time in their lives.
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Che Gookin on January 26, 2010, 08:45:01 AM
Good luck botched, sad to see you have to do time over something like an Economic Depression. Hope you do easy time and get things sorted out afterwards.
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 23, 2010, 04:15:35 PM
Gotta bump this post back to the top, When I originally wrote the post last year my ex-fiance and myself were splitting up...
How Ironic is is that almost a year later we start talking again and she wants me to come back home, I am sort of hesitant at this point, but it is really where I want to be. She is wanting me to come back at the first of the year as it is too late now for me to come home for Christmas. She claims that she did not realize what she had till it was gone. I am already submitting resumes and half way made my decision to go...

Out of curiosity do you guys think I am crazy ?? ??
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: shaggys on December 23, 2010, 04:24:20 PM
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Gotta bump this post back to the top, When I originally wrote the post last year my ex-fiance and myself were splitting up...
How Ironic is is that almost a year later we start talking again and she wants me to come back home, I am sort of hesitant at this point, but it is really where I want to be. She is wanting me to come back at the first of the year as it is too late now for me to come home for Christmas. She claims that she did not realize what she had till it was gone. I am already submitting resumes and half way made my decision to go...

Out of curiosity do you guys think I am crazy ?? ??

I wish you the best either way, Botched. Merry Xmas.
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Whooter on December 23, 2010, 04:53:08 PM
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Gotta bump this post back to the top, When I originally wrote the post last year my ex-fiance and myself were splitting up...
How Ironic is is that almost a year later we start talking again and she wants me to come back home, I am sort of hesitant at this point, but it is really where I want to be. She is wanting me to come back at the first of the year as it is too late now for me to come home for Christmas. She claims that she did not realize what she had till it was gone. I am already submitting resumes and half way made my decision to go...

Out of curiosity do you guys think I am crazy ?? ??

Things are looking up,  follow your heart.  Moving always forces one to clean out their cobwebs and you also get the unique chance to take what you like with you and leave the rest behind.

Good luck with whatever decision you make, Botched.



...
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 23, 2010, 04:53:59 PM
Merry Christmas Shaggys
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: heretik on December 23, 2010, 05:01:28 PM
What a story Botch. I do not know you but I surely admire you. One year later and life has come full circle. You can't make this shit up.
Keep your dreams high and real.

Merry Christmas
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 23, 2010, 05:02:36 PM
Merry Christmas Heretik !!!
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 23, 2010, 05:05:46 PM
Quote from: "Whooter"
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Gotta bump this post back to the top, When I originally wrote the post last year my ex-fiance and myself were splitting up...
How Ironic is is that almost a year later we start talking again and she wants me to come back home, I am sort of hesitant at this point, but it is really where I want to be. She is wanting me to come back at the first of the year as it is too late now for me to come home for Christmas. She claims that she did not realize what she had till it was gone. I am already submitting resumes and half way made my decision to go...

Out of curiosity do you guys think I am crazy ?? ??

Things are looking up,  follow your heart.  Moving always forces one to clean out their cobwebs and you also get the unique chance to take what you like with you and leave the rest behind.

Good luck with whatever decision you make, Botched



...

Merry Christmas Whooter
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Whooter on December 23, 2010, 06:30:47 PM
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Merry Christmas Whooter


Merry Christmas Botched!



...
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: none-ya on December 23, 2010, 07:02:25 PM
Quote
Botched wrote
"Love the woman with all my heart... can't even fathom being without her"

If she's the one, and feels the same way about you,then she will stick it out with you. If she don't then she's not the one. You said it youself (for better or worse). Don't beat yourself up too bad. Everybody fucks up

MERRY X-MAS!
[/b]
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 23, 2010, 07:10:07 PM
Quote from: "none-ya"
Quote
Botched wrote
"Love the woman with all my heart... can't even fathom being without her"

If she's the one, and feels the same way about you,then she will stick it out with you. If she don't then she's not the one. You said it youself (for better or worse). Don't beat yourself up too bad. Everybody fucks up

MERRY X-MAS!
[/b]


None-Ya my bro I think that you only read the beginning part which was posted last year... We are talking about coming back together after a year of seperation... Just a little shocked at this point is the reason I drug up one of my old post...

Merry Christmas,
Botched
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: dragonfly on December 23, 2010, 07:28:39 PM
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: dragonfly on December 23, 2010, 07:38:48 PM
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 23, 2010, 07:48:15 PM
Merry Christmas Dragonfly !!!
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 24, 2010, 12:39:45 AM
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Gotta bump this post back to the top, When I originally wrote the post last year my ex-fiance and myself were splitting up...
How Ironic is is that almost a year later we start talking again and she wants me to come back home, I am sort of hesitant at this point, but it is really where I want to be. She is wanting me to come back at the first of the year as it is too late now for me to come home for Christmas. She claims that she did not realize what she had till it was gone. I am already submitting resumes and half way made my decision to go...

Out of curiosity do you guys think I am crazy ?? ??

 :bump:
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Deprogrammed on December 24, 2010, 01:27:49 AM
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Gotta bump this post back to the top, When I originally wrote the post last year my ex-fiance and myself were splitting up...
How Ironic is is that almost a year later we start talking again and she wants me to come back home, I am sort of hesitant at this point, but it is really where I want to be. She is wanting me to come back at the first of the year as it is too late now for me to come home for Christmas. She claims that she did not realize what she had till it was gone. I am already submitting resumes and half way made my decision to go...

Out of curiosity do you guys think I am crazy ?? ??

 :bump:
Nah, I don't think so...do you love her still?
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 24, 2010, 01:37:33 AM
Quote from: "Deprogrammed"
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Gotta bump this post back to the top, When I originally wrote the post last year my ex-fiance and myself were splitting up...
How Ironic is is that almost a year later we start talking again and she wants me to come back home, I am sort of hesitant at this point, but it is really where I want to be. She is wanting me to come back at the first of the year as it is too late now for me to come home for Christmas. She claims that she did not realize what she had till it was gone. I am already submitting resumes and half way made my decision to go...

Out of curiosity do you guys think I am crazy ?? ??

 :bump:
Nah, I don't think so...do you love her still?

Of course I do or this would never be an issue for me...Just checking my thinking... Hence I am Botched Programming

Merry Christmas DP
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: 85 Day Jerk on December 24, 2010, 04:11:08 AM
In '93 I was working for a banner towing service that flew over the Gulf Beaches.  I did'nt have a car and got around on a mountain bike.  Early one morning my co-worker and I had just set up the first run of banners for the planes to pick up at Albert Whitted Municipal Airport in Downtown St. Pete Florida.  The airport was right on the edge of Tampa Bay and only about 20 blocks from my apartment easy to get to and I made enough to get by.  Anyway, the emergency sirens started blasting at the Coast Guard base south of us, and we stood there by the seawall and watched a cutter enter the bay and start hauling ass to the south.  About 10 minutes later, the first tendrils of a huge oil slick began floating by.  This was not good.  We crossed the runway and ran to the office.  The damn phone was ringing as we got there.  It was the first of many accounts cancelling their banner orders because tar balls were already showing up on the beaches.  In the weeks that followed, the only customers left was Wagon Wheel Flea Market and a few banners that flew over Tampa.  There was'nt enough work for two men, so I was out of a job.

Luckily, I had lived in the same building a few years, so I started networking and asking friends about available jobs.  I wound up applying to a day care center to drive a van taking kids to and from school and back to the day care for after school care until their parents came and got them.  I had never worked around kids in my life, and had to go back and forth from home mornings and afternoons.  The pay was minimal, but it kept me going.  As part of the job, the boss paid me to attend night school to get the required classroom hours in childcare development, so I could go on as a Caregiver full time in the summer.  It blew a lot of peoples minds that I was working with kids.  The experience gave me enough clout to go to the head of the line once School Bus Driver positions opened up the next fall.  It wound up being the highest paying job I ever had.
So, what I am getting at is for you not to be afraid to take a step down and try something completely different.  It just may be the ticket to a brighter future.

Merry Christmas and good luck!
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on December 24, 2010, 09:50:28 AM
Merry Christmas Jerk !!!
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Anne Bonney on December 24, 2010, 10:13:00 AM
I'm sorry you're feeling so low.  Do NOT let the old Straight 'tapes' run through your head.  Shit happens to all of us.  Hang in there and know that we're here for you.  My daughter taught me that there are hills and valleys in life. I didn't understand that after getting out of Straight and it took her as a teen to teach me that.  

All the best!
Anne
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Sam Kinison on December 24, 2010, 10:27:04 AM
I hate cliches but sometimes they have merit.The adage goes "What doesn't kill you will only strengthen you"has lots of truth behind it.This episode,like Str8,were two kicks in the privates.Whatever happens,you remind yourself that this won't be the end.I have a friend down here whose wife left him with their young daughter to Mainland China,leaving pending a loan for $250000 by her father on the Mainland as well.This was pretty much all the money he had.He was the one who told me that when I was trying to console him.You saw Straight through,you will this as well.
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: seamus on December 25, 2010, 10:21:00 AM
yeah,shits pretty much sucky in seamusville. but im gonna go camp in the snow tonight........and everybody can get bent, too much fuckin drama in my world,igotta take a step back.......... :nods:
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: hurrikayne on December 26, 2010, 02:39:47 AM
Love, and let love.

It'll work itself out, or you will know early enough on that it's not going to happen.  How?  If it makes you happy, you will find a way, between the tow of you to make it work.  If it doesn't, there will be that niggling doubt in your mind...it will turn the smallest thing into an obstacle and eventually, you will move on.  

You will have to decide, on your own, if the benefits of the relationship outweigh the negatives, once that is done, it's a downhill ride.
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Botched Programming on September 16, 2011, 07:31:15 PM
Well hell it did not work out the way I had planned... I am now back in NC with my tail tucked between my legs.... :suicide:  :suicide:
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: Withdraw on September 16, 2011, 08:24:12 PM
Sorry Botched =(

Have you considered taking just 1 class at the community college? I know that might sound dumb... since we are all so old now.. But I swear it has really changed my life. I feel so confident now and my life has really turned around. I was in the same place you are just over 2 years ago. I was sick, in bed, felt like crap about my life.. no job, no self esteem.. etc. I get it, I have been there most of my life.

There are tons of ways to get in school with grants and scholarships. Heck, just going to the local college and filling out the FASA forum will likely yield some (most likely total) assistance with tuition. It was really hard to get myself motivated, but as soon as I did it.. things just fell into place. Even if you aren't going for a degree, just taking a class would get you out there meeting people and building confidence.

Sorry if it sounds weird, but it has changed my life dramatically.

I hope things improve for you =)
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: none-ya on September 16, 2011, 09:58:59 PM
Welcome back Botched. At least you got out of Fl.
Title: Re: Started Over Again at age 44
Post by: hurrikayne on September 17, 2011, 09:14:48 AM
Quote from: "Botched Programming"
Well hell it did not work out the way I had planned...

I am so sorry to hear that Botched.  I've been through a lot this summer and I am out of encouraging statements, however, if you can hold onto hope, it's the only thing others can never take from you.  As long as you have a shred of hope for the future, and the inner strength and determination not to let the program or the programmers suck you down, you can get through this and on to something better.