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Messages - blownawaytheidahoway

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631
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / i want your stories
« on: July 15, 2004, 12:14:00 PM »
Why did I stay? When I returned from my splitting I had been starved in the desert with one homicidal gangmember and five other delinquents for four weeks.  I had been promised while at a foster home ( i had refused to return to RMA) that I could go home. Instead I was sandwhiched into a car with Mike Parr (to make sure I didn't run away again) and The chief of Idaho Police. They were waiting for me after I lost my twenty pounds and had eaten racoon, mouse, rabbit, dog, snake and bananna peels. I was taken back to where I had run away from six weeks before. That first week I was happy to have food and not be afraid for my life.
After that though, I didn't run away but tried everything else I could think of to leave. I really almost killed myself there. I hated being incacerated more than any of the motherfuckers posting here. MORE. I stayed because I had NO CHOICE. I had already lived on the streets some as a fourteen year old but when my parents said I could stay at RMA and finish the program (that would have been two years) or go to a lock up until I was eighteen and never talk to them again)That ain't no choice. I wish to god I had waited another year before fucking up so much at home because I would have had the strength to leave. I would have been more adult. The threats of going to a lock up for four years when I was that young was enough to scare me. It was worse that way because I had to learn to accept what I KNOW I did not believe. So I allowed them to kill some 'ME'. It couldn't be helped, it was simply self preservation. Big difference between fourteen and fifteen. Treating us that way. My parents couldn't deal. That's what I am seeing is the root of the existance of CEDU. so they were right about that one thing: the world is fucked up and parents don't raise their kids right. it's a cycle. PRobabaly the reason I won't have kids is RMA. I learned that from Chuck and Vicki. Isn't that chuck solent? I have to blame RMA for how I turned out. And I have to blame RMA and my parents for sending me there.

632
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / This is absolutely unbelievable
« on: July 12, 2004, 07:43:00 AM »
Not sure I agree there with you. I too had low self esteem made much lower there. I too had suicidal tendencies that; really, due to the complicated issue of such a thing, have increased. About five years ago I told my parents that if I ever did really do it they should be looking to RMA for a reason why. It was a hard couple of weeks though, but we pulled through together. It is really too deep for them to understand, but, yes: i was depressed to begin with. I think I may have pulled myself up on my own. Bonners Ferry made me utterly reliant on the acceptance of others. My esteem issue is undoubtedly worse than it would have been without RMA. I can only assume the same goes for my depression. I don't feel like this when I think/write about ANY other subject. So...

633
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / I will help you escape from Cedu if you need help.
« on: July 11, 2004, 05:46:00 PM »
If you haven't got a relative who will help you and you're determined to run anyway, get a coupld of states away and find a job. Lie if you have to about your age or whatever. Truck stops are always hiring waitresses and boys can find casual work at construction sites or almost anyway. But find some kind of work so that you can 1) support yourself and not have to rely on strangers who may or may not have your best interest at heart and 2) make a good case to the courts should have to explain yourself at some point in the future.




This is true. I successfully split and made the mistake of calling my parents. I should never have. I probably would have earned a million dollars by now. instead it got a lot worse. [ This Message was edited by: blownawaytheidahoway on 2004-07-11 14:47 ]

634
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Favorite Propheet Quotes
« on: July 11, 2004, 05:26:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-07-11 14:00:00, NivekOgre wrote:

"I ended up in this place after CEDU did me no good at all. These guys had no screaming, any confrontation was very gentle, no think tank, etc.

I'd recommend it fully.



http://65.108.236.215/referrals.htm"


Mississippi from Idaho? wow I'm sorry.
but I see that that was for over 18 only. That would be miles different. I had to back to 2 YEARS of High school after 915 days of that fucking torture. I couldn't glide. I didn't know what hit me.

635
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Favorite Propheet Quotes
« on: July 11, 2004, 05:21:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-05-24 09:31:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Now picture yourself saying all these words to your favorate asshole staff while beating them with a baseball bat. -- Mow that is therapeutic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Now that would be.
 :grin:
But seriously now that I know this site exists, I will be more active. Unfortunatly I will have to examine the issues wich kinda sucks cause I'll probably end up gluttons for punishment like youse.
But the truth is I already am, I've got it all. Letters from home, survival notebooks, thinking notebooks, iandme, summit, portfolios from everyfamily and some of that guy Alberto's pictures that he took (the photographer dude that I heard was fired for something sexual was the relative of Carmen Earl). But I haven't yet really gone through much. I'm leaving that for next month. I'm still trying to figure out how I wound up there. God what fucking mistake that turned out to be. The way my parents are it'll take a book to convince them It Hurt. [ This Message was edited by: blownawaytheidahoway on 2004-07-11 14:22 ]

636
Tacitus' Realm / Solutions to the hellhole
« on: July 11, 2004, 05:07:00 PM »
I think that that is the basic underlying message that some people seem to be communicating. That the internet exists at all is key. We had word processors my second year after they opened the Emerson building, but this instrument is now our only tool in recruiting accounts from GradsSurvivormanchurianhairlessmonkies.
Have you seen http://www.isac.com
I communicated with them the other day. Very interested in your propostion of some kind of system to watchdog some of the places.
also, I really don't think it matters what you did or didn't do. I can't now address the question of whether or not you did or didn't deserve to be there or even whether it helped or not becuase it is too big and there are so many what if's. I know I will have too. But for me this is a long time coming. I haven't addressed any of this and now it feels like the world crashes down as I realize how very duped we were. And I resent greatly MANY aspects of the "re-education" program. I am not ready to make enemies I haven't asked for so I'm going to have to think about what tone I even want to take in all these chats.
Along that line, whoever said that we should stop being brainwashed has to realize  that people were there from very different backrounds (staff and students alike) and at very different stages still in that great time we all agree is adolecense. Some of the commucations and accusations in the beginning months of the program were WAY too sophisticated for me. And I had been a sometimes runaway for years. Gettin laid and high at fourteen. Instead of feeling bad about that I regret greatly not having the knowledge there would "be consequences for not caring about the authority figures in you life" (care of a letter from my parents dated the day I was processed) and screwed up much more. Because everything since I got out of there has been a question of chalking up to experience or beating the living shit outta myself phychologically.  
I don't want to bitch too much because I need to learn about other peoples exps.

637
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / CEDU- propheets
« on: July 11, 2004, 03:41:00 PM »
"They never did anything by the book - They were abusing kids themselves - Why would they report abuse?
I waa a therapist there and I reported the abuse directly to child protective services. I was nieve. i tyhought the state really cared. After going to the attorney general and the govenor I realized that there is no state proterction - just state paid workers who take our tax dollars to pretend they have a function when actually all they do is collude to take federal grants.
I'm now a converted libritarian who wants to eradicate government"

-quoting some other dude. 'Ats not me.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AAAHHH hahahahaha
okay NOW I'm scared again ---blownaway[ This Message was edited by: blownawaytheidahoway on 2004-07-11 14:36 ]

638
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / CEDU Rocky Mountain Academy + Boulder Creek Acad
« on: July 11, 2004, 03:34:00 PM »
I think you may be touching on a very serious point though. This is what I want to know. Going back to 1970 how many people have stayed in touch with RMA every couple of years for positive reasons. Not just going back once or twice for a fix of nostalgia, but working with your tools and keeping up the jargon and NEEDING it. Becuase that seems to be the way it "works" I thought about teaching courses and counselling for years. I am a certified women's crisis counselor and have worked in a variety of voluteer atmospheres, as well as with terminal AIDS patients, but I snapped outta the idea of working with kids like I had been when I realized it was for the wrong reason. I have been unhappily filled with hate ever since. So. there is more to elaborate on and I hate being that short but it seems to me that most everyone who went is running like hell. There is a common reason why, but it is hard to identify and articulate about. I'm chippin' away though. any comments welcome.

639
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / This is absolutely unbelievable
« on: July 11, 2004, 03:25:00 PM »
it's long. have you ever heard of Mike Parr or Richard Armstrong. They've "worked with" me. In England I would say they each gave me a working over though. This is big business. There are a lot of shocking stories. I am so glad that I am starting to shake this stuff up inside of me. Mike Parr told me once while I was a student that he hated the place but he was still leaving a kid there at the time.

640
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / July 11 was the day I was abandoned at RMA. read on
« on: July 11, 2004, 03:15:00 PM »
Oh lawdy what a can o worms ima openin 2day.

641
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / July 11 was the day I was abandoned at RMA. read on
« on: July 11, 2004, 03:13:00 PM »
These are not the opening lines of a novel. These aren?t characters that I made up. This is not something that happened inside my head. This happened to me. My dad left me. There. Here?s what happened there:

   Bonners Ferry, Idaho is way the fuck out in the middle of nowhere. Panhandle. Go even further north ten miles until you are really close to the Canadian border. That is the location. If you remember Ruby Ridge, you are in the right neighborhood. Incidentally, just a few months prior to my arrival, one of Richard Armstrong?s collegues at RMA quietly left ?teaching? at the ?school? after being privately exposed as a white supremecist. With a plan in motion to kidnap kids ?especially Jewish ones? to ransom for monies destined for Hayden Lake, Idaho where the Aryan Nation had its headquarters. I would like to think that had my parents been provided with this information, perhaps I would have been spared the next two and a half years. Maybe they would?ve had a quick preview of the potential dangers that I could engage with and decide against this treachery. But I don?t think anyone in my family was keeping up to current events in an area almost as sparsely populated as Atlantis. I will probably say ?As I look back on it? so many times that every time I mean that or ?in hindsight? or ?retrospect? that I will just say AILBOI. So: AILBOI, I remember being woken up damn early in the morning by my father. We had rented a car in some god forsaken place named Spokane. I came along for the airplane ride. We were going skiing. In July. So in order to reciprocate the good intentions of my father, I agreed to look at some boarding school that was near the slopes. It was pretty cold, I remember. Though I remember also almost never being awake before eleven or later before this. Maybe there would be some snow up higher in the mountains. Well, it was so damn early and we had gotten in from the airport pretty late that I slept. And I was still pretty much asleep as we made our way from the hotel that morning. Kootenai Inn. I ?ll never forget it.

642
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / July 11 was the day I was abandoned at RMA. read on
« on: July 11, 2004, 03:09:00 PM »
REDACTED

643
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / July 11 was the day I was abandoned at RMA. read on
« on: July 11, 2004, 03:08:00 PM »
:cry2:

644
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / CEDU kid that hung himself recently?
« on: July 11, 2004, 11:53:00 AM »

645
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / CEDU kid that hung himself recently?
« on: July 11, 2004, 11:29:00 AM »
I would like to have contact with this ex staffer. Light, is there any chance of that? You sound articulate enough to help me in my new struggle. I am examining my present and am deeply affected by RMAzing things of the past. I was stripped searched by Richard Armstrong needlessly 16 years ago today!!!
I am starting to srite a memoir and I have just started reading and writing postings. I am in contact with noone from my time there. Please respond, LIGHT!!!

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