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The Seed Discussion Forum / One of the beatings
« on: July 18, 2002, 04:58:00 PM »
WOW.
There are so many things that I have blacked out about the experiences I had there.
I think I remember some of that.Beatings always occured within my home...so i guess i never realised how wrong they were.
Your are right FREEDOM, where were the people that were supposed to protect us? Who decided that we were so bad? I don't recall any adult talking to me upon my entry there except for "betty".
I still am unable to fully trust people that are supposed to be "helping" me and I am 43 now. This all happened to me when I was 14-15.
I remember the very day I stopped going to "Old Timers Raps", I had gone to the Elk's pool with an exseedling Mark Sibilia, he was in PAR and sober, we ran into some Seedlings and they would not "talk to me"!! I was stunned and hurt to think these people who said they "Loved Me" would not trust me to have good judgement with regards to my friends.
I raised my hand at the rap that night wanting to talk about how hurt I was but was told, within 2 sentences, that "if I had nothing to contribute to the rap I needed to sit down". The topic that night at the grad's rap was "how to get people into the Seed".....
I never went back
I started using again shortly thereafter, my choice, because I had bought into all the crap and had felt that I had a place of safety within the group, because there was absolutely none at home.I so desperately needed a place of safety.
I left home within a year, following a particularily brutal beating from my father.
_________________
"...every five years I look back on my life and have a good laugh..." (Watershed by Indigo Girls)
[ This Message was edited by: MommaDebi on 2002-07-18 14:02 ]
There are so many things that I have blacked out about the experiences I had there.
I think I remember some of that.Beatings always occured within my home...so i guess i never realised how wrong they were.
Your are right FREEDOM, where were the people that were supposed to protect us? Who decided that we were so bad? I don't recall any adult talking to me upon my entry there except for "betty".
I still am unable to fully trust people that are supposed to be "helping" me and I am 43 now. This all happened to me when I was 14-15.
I remember the very day I stopped going to "Old Timers Raps", I had gone to the Elk's pool with an exseedling Mark Sibilia, he was in PAR and sober, we ran into some Seedlings and they would not "talk to me"!! I was stunned and hurt to think these people who said they "Loved Me" would not trust me to have good judgement with regards to my friends.
I raised my hand at the rap that night wanting to talk about how hurt I was but was told, within 2 sentences, that "if I had nothing to contribute to the rap I needed to sit down". The topic that night at the grad's rap was "how to get people into the Seed".....
I never went back
I started using again shortly thereafter, my choice, because I had bought into all the crap and had felt that I had a place of safety within the group, because there was absolutely none at home.I so desperately needed a place of safety.
I left home within a year, following a particularily brutal beating from my father.
_________________
"...every five years I look back on my life and have a good laugh..." (Watershed by Indigo Girls)
[ This Message was edited by: MommaDebi on 2002-07-18 14:02 ]