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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Cant sleep again
« on: September 08, 2006, 01:44:13 AM »
My brain keeps comming up with shit. For the last few years, I have been talking about my experiences in Straight. If you noticed I said in Straight. I felt like I never left really. I found some people I have been in Straight with and spoke to a few, Maybe it wasnt such a good idea but I never really understood why or how people can just go on with thier lives. I have learned that some people really can put it in some lil closet in there brains. I guess I just lived with it thinking about it all my life every day. Now when I think back, I think about memories before Straight. I am not as angry about it. What I have relized today is that I never found who I am as a person. What do I like and dislike? I allways avoided making decision in fear that people would degrade me for them. I have lived my life moment to moment letting life make choices for me and when i have to make a choice, I do what my parents would have done cause that is the right decision. I never picked out a theme to any room in my house, i allways took what people gave me and never got rid of it in fear that they would be angry with me. I know its time to decide what i like and dislike. I have allways eaten all my food because im supose to lol. This maybe kinda hard to break these habits that Straight help make in me. This is going to be exciting, confusing and prolly scary, but I think its time to start finding who I am. I allready stopped eating meat 3 weeks ago lmao. I never buy homes cause what if i buy the wrong one? my towels dont match, i have my parents old ones. I am still using the ugly dishes that were givin to me 5 years ago for Christmas. I am glad, I know my battle with the memories from Straight is over, but now I need to clean up the mess those faggits made. nope, not angry well this is gonna be an adventure. Now maybe I can get some sleep!