Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Deprogrammed on April 24, 2006, 02:49:00 AM
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You cringe, when a friend asks you if you saw that "program" that was on tv last night.......lol
Thought we may come with some humor.....
take it away, Hip
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--Robert G. Ingersoll, American politician and lecturer
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you cringe everytime you hear a VENDOR YELL "Program, Program get your self a Program!!!!"....and you're at a baseball game!...
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you cringe everytime you hear the word cringe!
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On 2006-04-23 23:55:00, stillahippie564 wrote:
"you cringe everytime you hear a VENDOR YELL "Program, Program get your self a Program!!!!"....and you're at a baseball game!... "
Lol!We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again---and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain
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You hear "It was a Zippety-do-dah kinda day!" and know just what that means.
For the most part we inherit our opinions. We are the heirs of habits and mental customs. Our beliefs, like the fashion of our garments, depend on where we were born. We are molded and fashioned by our surroundings.
--Environment is a sculptor -- a painter.
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When the waiter at the restaurant asks you if ye would like to try their new "Wrap"
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
--Plato
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On 2006-04-23 23:58:00, Deprogrammed wrote:
"When the waiter at the restaurant asks you if ye would like to try their new "Wrap"
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
--Plato
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and of course ye cringeSpeculations on the Origin of Human Intelligence: "In defense of the Pygmies, perhaps I should note that a friend of mine who has spent time with them says that for such activities as the patient stalking and hunting of mammals and fish they prepare themselves through marijuana intoxication, which helps to make the long waits, boring to anyone further evolved than a Komodo dragon, at least moderately tolerable. Ganja is, he says, their only cultivated crop. It would be wryly interesting if in human history the cultivation of marijuana led generally to the invention of agriculture, and thereby to civilization.
Carl Sagan - The Dragons of Eden - 1977
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On 2006-04-23 23:57:00, Eudora wrote:
"You hear "It was a Zippety-do-dah kinda day!" and know just what that means.For the most part we inherit our opinions. We are the heirs of habits and mental customs. Our beliefs, like the fashion of our garments, depend on where we were born. We are molded and fashioned by our surroundings.
--Environment is a sculptor -- a painter.
"
Lmfao!The Roman Catholic Church had a policy of burning all pre-Columbian information as pagan.
Wiki
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when a manager refers to the department as "group" and then says "the group is in a bad place"
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Anytime someone uses the phrase "u need to"
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yeah, when you go to an office and the receptionist says "have a seat" :eek:
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What bothers me are the door chimes that shops and other places use for security,etc. It reminds me of the phaser room and I instantly tense up. I also don't like being checked out with the metal detection wands when clearing security. I suppose nobody really does and I'm making too much of nothing. Jason
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Interesting, lol. When someone says Have a seat.. I normally reply "No thank you, Im ok standing" I hadnt connected the dots before.
The big one is when anyone says "go straight", I have to correct them and say .. "it's always forward, never straight."
You know your a straightling when...your checking out someones bottom and take note of their beltloop ::blushing::
You know your a straightling when your sitting quietly at dinner with the family and suddenly you MUST crack your elbow joint (damage from motivating), and instead hit your self in the face or chest :razz:
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You're trying to sing nursery rhymes to your kids but can't because Little Rabbit Foo Foo gives you the creeps.
You hear the song You're A Grand Old Flag and just for a split second your arm almost does the hand motions. It really happened to me at a concert years back with my mother. I actually had to leave and I almost threw up.
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when you actually comment on this thread
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when you wake up with $150,000 in your bank account after Miller Newton touched your junk the night before when he had you strapped in the Straightmobile.
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You laugh your ass off at the prospect of wearing a T-shirt that reads, "Ask Dr. Fucktard" out in a public place...
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when you do not like other people watching you brush your teeth or shave
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you come to fornits to meet psycho chicks to have sex with
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You know you're a straightling when your child earns her blow dryer back after being punished!
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On 2006-04-24 21:03:00, Anonymous wrote:
"You laugh your ass off at the prospect of wearing a T-shirt that reads, "Ask Dr. Fucktard" out in a public place..."
beautiful
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On 2006-04-25 11:01:00, Anonymous wrote:
beautiful
Thanks. :grin:
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(http://http://www.geocities.com/lou_cypher66/askftard.jpg)
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On 2005-09-20 10:52:00, dragonfly wrote:
I'd still like to have a T-shirt with a picture of good ol' Dr. Fucktard, Blue tattoos and all, with the words "ask Dr. Fucktard" on the front.
Special thanks go out to dragonfly for coming up with the idea for the t-shirt. :tup:
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When you start believing that CIA computers are creating a profile of you based on what you post on Fornits.
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..When you start trying to convince yourself that the CIA is not creating a profile of you that includes your postings on Fornits.
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when you consider it a real kick to get high and watch footage of Miller Newton's court testimony
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:nworthy: :grin:
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when you consider it a real kick to get high and watch footage of Miller Newton's court testimony
thats a good one! :nworthy: hippie!
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you give your shrink advise.
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When you have an appointment to see a shrink today (11:00am 4/27/2006) because you found these sites only yesterday and the flood of surpressed 17 year old memories has made you feel like you are losing your mind!!!!!! And I thought all those panic attacks were from genetically passed down depression/anxiety. What the Fuck!!!!!
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Betloops omfg...just try explaining standing for hours with your nose stuck to the back of somebody else's hair and your right arm numb if you're an oldcomer, left arm numb if you're a newcomer and trying not to pass out...
Motivating??? There was this dude in Atl who would make his face trun red and the staff loved it until he passed out and went into convulsions in group from doing it...
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Or every time you poop, you stop to think how nice it is not to have to ask for permission to wipe your ass...
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Or every time you poop, you stop to think how nice it is not to have to ask for permission to wipe your ass
another good one....hip
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On 2006-04-26 16:30:00, Anonymous wrote:
"you give your shrink advise."
Nice! I knew there was something weird when this would happen. That's always been my que to stop going imediately.
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Someone is trying to explain, and train a new job to you and they start out by saying something like, "the first step is to..." ; and you do not return to the new job the next day to face that same person....lol :rofl:
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When you stare at a door for hours, open the door and get excited.
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(http://http://www.geocities.com/lou_cypher66/askftard.jpg)
i want one!!!
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Your prefer jail time to rehab!
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When your girlfriend is giving you head, you realize that it is because she likes you, not for a drink of water. :P
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Anytime someone uses the phrase "u need to"
ditto
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yeah, when you go to an office and the receptionist says "have a seat" :eek:
everyone thinks i'm a sociopath when i give the receptionist a dirty look, sit on the coffee table, or amble around aimlessly. it is more entertaining the more controlling they try to get.
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When you pull up next to a car with a depressed teenager in the back seat and you get prepared to help him/her escape.
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When your girlfriend is giving you head, you realize that it is because she likes you, not for a drink of water. :P
haha, that is a good one. Yeah, my gf drinks my cum like water. Guess she would have been real popular with staff if she was in straight.
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Miller Newton touched my junk liberally. He strapped me in to his Straightmobile and he
couldn't keep his offensive hands off of me. He was performing many red flag touches. I
couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. I told Miller Newton the city would not approve
of a millionaire touching an underage kid for free. Can you believe it? Miller Newton did all this. He picked me off the street, strapped my arms and legs down in the Straightmobile's passenger seat, and just wouldn't stop fondling my cock'n'balls.
They definately were red flag touches. The goddamn referee he had in the back seat kept on
raising up this red flag every time he touched my junk but did "Dr." Newton care? NO WAY! He
just kept on doing it. I couldn't believe what the fuckwas going on, indeed. I pleaded with
Miller Newton but to no avail. I told him the city would not approve of such a wealthy man
touching an underage kid like me (at the time I was 13) without at least compensating me for
the trauma and the use of my body as his own personal plaything.
This got to him, worrying about his image. he continued to fondle me, all the while ignoring
the referee's red flags. Then he drove the Straightmobile to my house and ejected the seat I was in! It was amazing. But surprisingly, after I woke up the next morning, my bank account had $150k in it!!! Can you believe it?????????????????????????