Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Sam Kinison on December 10, 2010, 12:13:39 AM
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Having spent two Decembers,1977 on Second Phase,and,1978 on Fourth Phase,as a member of the lost warehoused tribe of adolescents then known as Straight Incorporated,like many of us,CHRISTMAS CAROLS MEAN NOTHING MORE TO ME THAN A BUNCH OF FLASHBACKS!!!!
This December,I decided to take a positive,therapeutic step to resolve this twisted episode of PTSD and the Fornits board is going to help.I hope I don't bore the shit out of anyone so they consider suicide or anything like that.Please consider that I will use this thread to help cope with some not so pleasant memories.
I have decided that every time I hear a Christmas song that reminds me of the warehouse,I will rewrite that song and post it on this thread.This isn't for humor.This is to get stuff out.Right now,Winter Wonderland and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen have sent me off into a time warp far enough to give Rocky Horror's Riff Raff an erection so those will be the first two on the hit parade.
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Here We Go....Winter Wonderland.......December 1978
Being brainwashed and tormented
Living a nightmare so demented
It's happening again
It's not going to end
They're never going to let me out of Straight
Looking across the room I see the first-phasers
Fifteen months ago they were me
Look at all those desperate faces
They all look the same to some degree
If this is me a year later
who will i be in the future?
A horrible ride
my spirit has died
they're never going to let me out of Straight.
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now THATS fucking theraputic.......... :rofl:
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Album???You're really wanting me to get over it!As far as the Semblers being Jewish,I'm pretty sure it's Mel yes,Betty no.Reason being having attended Admiral Farragut with youngest son Greg,I distinctly remember him identifying with the other Jewish cadets,like myself,then giving thanks to Jesus when leading grace at lunchtime.To anybody who has ever seen her,they will agree,there is nothing Jewish about Betty Sembler's look or demeanor.When it comes to the Semblers being Jewish,when it's convenient,they are and of course when it's not,theyre not.Coming up next.........God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and Jingle Bell Rock.
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BECAUSE EVERY DAY WE'RE STRAIGHT IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS!!![attachment=0:vh3oix7q]SANTA.jpg[/attachment:vh3oix7q]
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Yeah and judiasm is matriarcal....Ever day is like christmas....ecchhhkkkk...I gotta go fuck some broken glass now. Theres no place like hell for the holidays, If your straight and you know it (suck my dick)......now wheredd I put the bourbon?
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http://patdollard.com/2008/12/junkie-sa ... rug-store/ (http://patdollard.com/2008/12/junkie-santa-rips-off-drug-store/)
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[attachment=0:2apvrr88]HO HO HO.jpg[/attachment:2apvrr88]
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A Druggie Christmas
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Twas the night of the party
And all through the town
No cops were a stirrin'
No *pigs* were around.
The joints were all rolled
And piled in stacks...
In hopes that by midnight
We'd be blown to the max!
We drank Seagram Sevens
And smoked Panama Reds,
While visions of munchies
Danced in our heads.
Then all of a sudden
Came a knock at the door,
We all yelled "PIGS!"
And dove to the floor.
Yet what to our red glazed
Eyes should appear,
But a pound of Columbian
And TWO kegs of beer.
The man at the door
Just gave us a smile,
So we invited him in
To party awhile.
He sat in the corner
And started to roll
So we filled up his glass
And lit up a bowl.
We then heard him say,
(As he flew to the sky)
"Merryjuana to all...
And to all, a good high!
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I have a really twisted view of what Christmas has become in this country. My idea of the ideal woman is Janeane Garofalo, because I know where her humor is coming from (she is due to star in a new spin-off series called Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior probably around Feb sweeps week) I use humor to vent anger as well. I found this next thing a few years ago and CANNOT BELIEVE it is still there, but it is a classic, and I apologize ahead of time if it offends anyone. http://http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/jeebus/default.php
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hey MY ideal woman is either ZOE BELL or that fucking crazy hot Rose Mc Gowan......dunno Im one sick fucker though......
All that Grindhouse shit fucked me up............. :nods:
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The title came to me, but not the words. I will allow for others with a bit more wit take over from here. And the title is....
"Away in a Warehouse" (Ya know, 'Away in a manger')
w/d
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I don't about having more wit,but I'll put my improvisational skills together and give it a shot
To the tune of "Away in the Manger"
Cooped up in a warehouse
My ass in a sling
Surrounded by morons
Who say the same thing
They say that it's love
All I sense is fear
the only true goal is
to get out of here
Namaste
Pura Vida
PS....My ideal woman was this performer named Candy an the Mons Venus
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Heavens to Joe Rudner, mos venus....ya dont say?
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Heavens to Joe Rudner, mos venus....ya dont say?
That would be Joe Redner
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No matter how you spell his last name,let's be thankful for him and give his pizza place a try next to the Mons.It's located in the old Taco Bell.They serve handspun New York Style Pizza and Barbecue Pulled Pork(No Pun Intended).
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Yeah right, lets all go and eat at the sex kings place.
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Family resemblance?
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HO! HO! HO![attachment=0:hvdkyddm]evil_santa.jpg[/attachment:hvdkyddm]
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when I was a kid, I caught the school bus across the road from the masons lodge. Every christmas time they had the old "Breakfast with santa" thing...and every year Id switch le letters around so it said "breakfast with satan". I couldnt help myself.......
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Times are tough![attachment=0:1jmkkbho]santa57.jpg[/attachment:1jmkkbho]
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when I was a kid, I caught the school bus across the road from the masons lodge. Every christmas time they had the old "Breakfast with santa" thing...and every year Id switch le letters around so it said "breakfast with satan". I couldnt help myself.......
That is pretty damn funny.... I use to switch the letters on a waterbed place to where it would say eat me baby..
But keeping with the Christmas theme,
I use to pick at my old girlfriend's nephew and tell him that it was Santa CLAWS... Had the poor kid scared as hell of Santa had him thinking that Santa would pinch his head off .... :rofl:
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Never met the guy ,but I feel like I know him pretty well
To the tune of "Deck the Halls"
Hang Newton by his ballsack
fa la la la la
la la la la
Tie them up from front to back
fa la la la la
la la la la
He should pay for all he did
fa la la la
la la la
la la la
He'll never harm another kid
fa la la la la
la la la la
Felices fiestas
Sam from Costa Rica
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[attachment=0:31syqbcv]ake0030l.jpg[/attachment:31syqbcv]
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[attachment=0:1bzu3kkv]NO SANTAS.jpg[/attachment:1bzu3kkv]
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[attachment=0:2xknvoif]tumblr_ldde63aAu71qa8ibao1_500.jpg[/attachment:2xknvoif]