Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: 85 Day Jerk on May 02, 2003, 07:21:00 PM
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I can no longer relate to a majority of you. I might as well go to a Star Trek Convention with Chris Poole dressed as a Kelvin and try to get laid after drinking a 6 pack of ZIMA.
[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2003-07-29 14:57 ]
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I remember I never was suspicious of any of the upper phasers getting high. I was on first phase for all but 1 week of my 9 months there, so I had limited ability to observe. In the host homes and late in the day when the 3rd, 4th & 5th phasers would be coming into the building, I don't remember anything suspicious about any of them. No one ever even smelled like nicotine. This was in 1988 Atlanta Straight. I think the trend at the time was to just cop out and then do drugs. That's what I did.
I left my bedroom on 2nd phase, went to the garage & huffed gas, went to Atlanta & got some hash, drank beer with some workers in their communal housing, etc. I was gone for 3 weeks living with friends & stuff.
The amazing thing is that I didn't start smoking cigarettes again while I was copped out! Cigarettes were my main thing before I went into Straight. I don't remember why, but I think it's just because I could not afford cigarettes.
[ This Message was edited by: JDavid on 2003-05-02 17:35 ]
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I was not aware of anyone getting high before coming into group. I can remember a few times that some 7 steppers had been getting high and coming into the back of group, then suddenly they were placed in the blue chairs with the rest of us.
As for me, I had my back operated on while I was on 4th phase. I was all doped up on Lortabs and Percodans, that was pretty strange cause I was messed up on them and had been on morphine and demerol in the hospital, but it was "justified" by the fact that I had this major surgery. I played major "head games" for a while about how that had killed my sobriety. If my memory is correct, I was not allowed to come to the building for about three weeks after the surgery so I would not be as heavily "medicated" while I was in there. When I did go back to group, it was strange, cause I was still taking them. About a week after the surgery, I remember that one of the host sisters had found them in my mom's room and taken a bunch. Naturally, I was accused of it, brought into group,fucked up as a turnip on the very things that were being questioned, and pounded by executives. They did such a good job of trying to break me into admitting that I had taken them, they did not allow but one or two in group to confront me.It went on for hours, screaming at me, telling me that I was full of shit, and to "get honest". I think every exec was in there, I was scared shitless, but at the same time, I was not guilty so I did not care what was said. (Plus, like I said, I was on major doses) I had already endured hours of confrontation at home by my mom, and the host family and sisters, so I was sortof numb in my fear. I do remember that I almost laughed at them all. In fact, I was told to get the smirk off my face or be started over. I had the smirk because I knew that I did not have to steal them, all I had to do was ask. Shit, even the drug screen that I had to give them did not indicate that I had taken too many. BTW, the host sister copped out that night, and when she returned, she admitted that she had stolen them, and that was the reason she left. So, the tables turned, little miss "blow me away" was started over, and had to apologize in group for the hell she had put me thru. BUT, I never got one apology from the Execs who spent hours trying to get me to admit to that shit!! I suppose that would have taken humility, something that was lacking.
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I look back at that night 20 years later and I ask myself, why the hell did they stop yelling at me. It was like, one minute, Milnichuk and Crow Tilley, and Letha Yost were all in my face, and the next thing I know, they are just stopped. It was the strangest thing. All this commotion, then nothing. I think it was right after I said, "just let me the fuck out of here".Keep in mind, I had been told that I was court ordered to the program at 24 years old. I did not know at the time I could have walked right out the door. I was never court ordered to any program. Perhaps they believed me, I don't know. Maybe they figured that after hours of the shit, I would have broken if I had been guilty. Weird.
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Never heard of too many people getting high, but they sure did get laid. 5th phasers doing Jr staff, Sr staff sending love letterd to Newcomers. Some got busted smoking or huffing something, not getting a buzz but got started over. What a waste. When I copped out I think I realized on my own that I didn't want to drink anymore, I think because it was a personal choice I never drank again.
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During my program I was not aware of Oldcomers getting high. In fact it wasn't until I had been 7th Stepped for a while did I learn that a kid named Bruce who at this time was a Staff Trainee had been getting high since 3RD PHASE.
He was sent to another program for a start over. I don't know if he 7th Stepped again.
Don
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You know, a few months ago I posted about not really remembering ever being yelled at in group. I do believe that this was the only time, the above post, that I was ever confronted like that. I have been haunted by that dreaded day of hours of staff in my face all day today. Being as foggy as I was after the surgery it was quite a trip to have this go on for so long.And, it is an even bigger trip for me to have this in my head all day today, so many years later.
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yep
[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2003-07-29 15:00 ]
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I am always a little leary about telling stories I heard about people getting high in group. After I left staff, there was this poor schlock that I knew from NA up here who got to listen to a staff member tell stories about how I used to get high and lead raps. Uh, no!
That being said there were several incidents in ATL I can recall. There was a group of 5th phase trainees that went out on a date, they did smoke, but I am unsure about anything else, there was this one kid from CA that supposedly would drop acid and come into group (I find this one very hard to believe), there was a female Jr. who did get fired for smoking dope and most likely more no one ever heard about. That "No talking behind backs" thing.
CL
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Clay, was that Jr who got fired there in 1988?
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Yep
CL
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I forget who were Junior and Senior staff. Were Jodi and April Senior? I bet it was someone still on phases in 1988 who then moved up to staff later. Who got fired? If you don't want to say, that's ok. Just ignore this question & I won't bug ya. :smile:
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IT was a Jr. but neither Jodi nor April. I'm not going to say because as I mentioned before all this kind of information had a tight lid put of it. I liked the person and have/had a great deal of respect for them. I had heard the Mike married April and know Mike has at least been here once. As he was a Sr. I can't blame him for not ever posting, hell, I wouldn't either.
CL
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I drank a bottle of Robitussin on 4th phase and picked up a third phaser from work. We headed back toward the building. I almost puked and made a hiccup burp sound like "gnarrffelouu" and a drop of robo from my tummy landed on the steering wheel. Steve Gilbert, the third phaser, laughed not understanding how I could make such an unnatural sound. I'm glad he thought it was funny and not scary, because I was nauseas and paranoid as I had relapsed and we were heading back to the building. We weren't in group long before it was time to go. I was standing heal to toe with a newcomer or two's belt loops in my hands. It was then that I remember the Robo kicking in and becoming trippy. I had to ask a Staff member for something and talked really strained and messed up. Bret Stenhouse didn't seem to notice anything wrong with me. Straight high was far more pleasant though than any other way. I think I did it just to get back in touch with pre-Straight reality, it was reassuring that it was there for me should I want to go back.
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I used my entire 3rd phase before I was pulled.
I had a sack buried out behind the middle school along with a lighter and papers..
I got dropped off at school an hour and half early because the school was in a suburb town away from the building in richardson..and whats insane is I cant remember what town it was /boggle..I stayed at the H**l host home
I was also flirting with girls at school, calling my old friends in Midland on the pay phone..the whole bit. I just remember that lil bit of smoke lasting a long time in there...never got caught...then I was pulled from the program...
Heres the even stranger part...after I got out I stayed dry bone fucking sober for 2 yearsfor some reason I felt the need to get high in Straight..but touched nothing just weeks later after I was pulled for 2 years..hmm
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I rarely used before the program and could not even imagine facing the group high!
They took away all my clean time for o'ding on tylenol though.
There was a 5th phaser that got knocked down to 1st for testing positive for pot. He said it was because he had been working out a lot. I was so naive I totally believed him. His name was Colin he was court ordered there for stealing a bunch of cars. I think now he might of been smoking pot.
My biggest crime on third phase I wore makeup and smoked ciggies at school. If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
edited because I am sure Colin would not want to see his last name up there
John Cleese
[ This Message was edited by: kaydeejaded on 2004-01-05 07:18 ]
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I pretty much played by the rules, except when it came to music. I'd listen to just about anything I wanted to. The music I liked the most before I went into straight wasn't your typical 'Satanic rock' or 'druggie' music, so I got away with listening to the punk rock for the most part..
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Well Therion, you managed to dredge up a long forgotten post that I had edited, so I guess I owe you the whole story. Back in the summer of 1978, there was a "gas shortage" and gas prices skyrocketed. In Tampa Bay we had several host homes in Hillsborough, Polk, Pasco, Hernando, Sarasota, and Manatee counties. Due to the financial burden of hauling newcomers back and forth, the outlying families began dumping more and more newcomers on the Pinellas families who lived closer to the building in St. Petersburg. The 3rd and 4th phasers of the outer fringes did not have to host newcomers as it was too much of a financial strain. This gave these well bred rich kids all the time in the world to devise ways of conning their way through the program. With no newcomer responsabilities, it was'nt very long before some of the guys discovered that they could get high, and get away with it. Most of the ones that came in group high were from Tampa.
I was on 1st phase at the time and on a court program on top of that, so anything I said or did was considered untruthful. The Milton Roy building had phasers coming in high from June until the move in August, and it was'nt until we were in the new building, that the Tampa guys started slipping up enough to get nailed. I wrote 4 or 5 posts entitled "The Tampa Screw-Up"
it makes for good reading. I had edited my original post and erased it because no one believed what I had said, and I got pissed off. Well, that's it in a nutshell. See ya later.
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Dont edit for that reason....post what you know to be the truth and if people dont like it...then let them not like it.
This is Straight folks here..you know how nutty and critical we are..Straight people will get on your ass about shit..just digging around to try to get you to admit to something. Just like we all made stories up in group to get staff off our ass.
If you are in posession of the truth...share it.
Just because you pushed straight down in back of your mind for 20 years...doesnt mean you pushed
the behaviour too..its ingrained in us all...some more than others
[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-01-05 19:45 ]
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Hey 85DJ, good to see you here again. It's been a while since you've posted. What have you been up to?
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you notcice that about yourself, that being in there makes you highly analytical difficult keen on differences in stories, like I mean no one wants to lie to or misrepresent themselves to an x-straight person.
we were made to keep going keep pushing digging. Maybe they wanted us all to be FBI CIA cops and military? Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.
-- Anonymous
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On 2004-01-05 19:43:00, Therion wrote:
"This is Straight folks here..you know how nutty and critical we are..Straight people will get on your ass about shit..just digging around to try to get you to admit to something. Just like we all made stories up in group to get staff off our ass.[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-01-05 19:45 ]"
Now there is some rock solid proof that you were there!
I found the "Tampa Screw-up" story to be excellent reading and to many details to be unbelieveable.
CL
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Thats all good Clay.
See man...now we can all talk and dont have to all think the same...we are free men and women..
When I saw he erased his post I thought.."this dude erased his story (clearing it up) because we (the group) didnt believe him.
We dont have to take back our stories...or make shit up becuase the group doesnt belive us..
I dont feel the need to. Yah most of you were in straight...however I am an adult now, and you guys are no more than strangers on the internet..and could give a fuck all whether you believe me or not..
Just because you were too petrefied to get high while you were in straight does not mean we all were...
It pisses me off that you are making people erase shit that I wanna hear (you didint make him, but he felt the need to because of you)
read what you want...but dont fucking confront people unless you have proof its a lie.That shit dont fly in the real world.
This stifles my hopes of reuniting with straight people and hanging out...because I could see myself telling a story and one of you
telling me im full of shit and blah blah..and well...Id probably get up and hit you in the jaw.
Please please be respectful...we are not 13 year olds being brainwashed anymore (some of us anyway)
I hated that shit in there and I fucking hate it more now.
And it very much becomes my business when you are making people feel the need to erase stories or not ever even post them..I WANT TO HEAR IT REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU THINK.
I dont wanna make enemies here or anything..
We have a bond here that most others dont have..
We all pretty much agree that the "confrontational" straight way of dealing with people is wrong...and it took me losing a wife to get that thru my head...some of you need to get it thru yours.
We all had fear of persecution in group...we do not and will not have that here.
I have alot of free time..and every time I see that shit Im gonna make another 5 paragraph post
until people are left alone to tell their stories. :eek: :eek: :eek:
You guys fucking be nice...let people be.....
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In previous post by "YOU" I am referring to everyone and noone in particular.
After rereading my post it looked like it was directed to clay...howevwe it is not.
This was a general statement to everyone.
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Beware. It's kinda weird, but after you've 'been' here for a while, you start to get the feeling that you know people and they're not all just strangers anymore, almost as if you've met them in real life!
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Yah I know man.
Just want people to be able to say whats on their minds without catching shit
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I would believe almost anything straight related that place baffled me. What I had the most difficulty with was coming home and trying to tell my "druggiefriends" about it.
They would always seem to think that they somehow would have outsmarted outsourced gotten out of Straight. It would piss me off we they would be like "there is no way someone would walk me around by the seat of my pants" :roll: Yeah they really would have!!!!
Everyday dude! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
As for 85DayJerk please repost the story if you haven't already, I wanna hear it I am sure everyone else does too. I am suprised no one believed you. Where were we?????
Maybe they were in DENIAL lol :lol: Government operates best when it allows all messengers to offer their views, allowing the American people to decide which take root and which wither away.
--Harold Furchtgott-Roth, member of the Federal Communications Commission
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I'm with you 100%, brother. Opinions are like assholes - everybody's got one! :flame: :grin:
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Speaking of Assholes...Did you guys see that Viva La Bam show last week?
He got a funnel and hose (beer bong) put the funnel up to some dudes bare ass and had him fart in the funnel as he sucked the fart through the tube.
How the fuck could you inhale another guys fart?!?! DAMN!
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Sounds like no gerbal is safe!!!
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On 2004-01-06 13:56:00, kaydeejaded wrote:
"I would believe almost anything straight related that place baffled me. What I had the most difficulty with was coming home and trying to tell my "druggiefriends" about it.
They would always seem to think that they somehow would have outsmarted outsourced gotten out of Straight. It would piss me off we they would be like "there is no way someone would walk me around by the seat of my pants" :evil: I tried not to work for, you know, anyone who ate children with their bare hands. I won't pretend that I was ideologically consistent.
--Dick Morris; Political consultant for Bill Clinton, Trent Lott and Tom Ridge
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o.k. I did get high with Chuck Cannon in the mogan yacht parking lot after it was no longer in use.We kinda felt we owed it to ourselves.Somebody else from our phases was there too, but Icant remember whom. :smokin:
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o.k. I did get high with Chuck Cannon in the mogan yacht parking lot after it was no longer in use.We kinda felt we owed it to ourselves.Somebody else from our phases was there too, but Icant remember whom. :smokin:
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o.k. I did get high with Chuck Cannon in the mogan yacht parking lot after it was no longer in use.We kinda felt we owed it to ourselves.Somebody else from our phases was there too, but Icant remember whom. :smokin:
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smoked pot serveral times
on my 3rd phase..actually serveral is a modest amount..
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The first time I copped out, I got high and was brought back to group the next day.
I got high in front of 3 of my newcomers who all got taken back before I did.
When everyone ripped me for it, I remember thinking that the only reason they were yelling at me was 'cause they were so jealous they didn't get to smoke dope with me. :smokin:
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Yah getting high was the ultimate transgression..
That and getting laid..Or smoking...
Those were the unforgiveable sins...
Remember Lori Means? The Executive staff member?
Oh my god she was beautiful..I mean Jaw dropping..let me buy you a Yacht beautiful..
I think she got married and had a child...Whoever her husband is ...sure is one lucky bastard..Hope he appreciates it..