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Messages - Sam Kinison

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136
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Response to 85DJ
« on: October 02, 2007, 05:51:07 PM »
Bob,those are great questions.I came in September 1977,when Str8 was 1 year and 3 weeks old.Kathy,was Kathy Vosburgh,definitely needed work on the face but I was too busy admiring her busoms(I was only 16).Once I saw them,she could have had a face like Mr.Ed(the horse,not the old perv who sat at the front desk).I was there when 4th phasers graduated and the group was definitely a lot roudier when I came there then when I left.This was not by accident.Read the ISACS interview with the former director and a lot of this was made clear.The program actually had some altruistic roots,the old con about therapy was the goal and not profits.I guess some people realized that was great for rhetoric,but impractical as far as keeping a rehab's doors open and that's when things began to change more and more.I'm not sure about you and Mr. D,but my parents only paid at the intake and that was pretty much it.I was,when I came in,only one of a handful of rich kids from an upper-middle class family.By the time I left,I think that we were at least half of the group.Twenty percent of the kids who were sent there were sent there by Judge Dadswell or Judge Page,looking at far more serious consequences if they didn't enter the program.By the time I left,court orders were almost non-existant.I guess that Jim Hartz decided that it was far more practical to cure the drug habits of the kids from solvent families then from those of the insolvent.Bob,by the time you got there,most of the hard cases advanced or found their way out.Doug Hemminger,believe it or not,was very handy with his fists.There were lots of fights in the Rahall Building.As tough as I thought I was when I came in,the sheer numbers and some of the guys who they could subdue before I came in(there were a couple I knew)let me know right away that overt resistance was a losing cause.They probably did have those bats,but not by the time I got there.What they would do is put 6 to 8 fourth phasers around a jerk and take him to a vacant area about 50 yards long and "run" him.I never had it happen to me but I think they told the mark to run and if he didn't they would force by limbs and hair until his legs collapsed from exhaustion.This practice stopped when HRS started to visit and the Jerry Vancil interview hit the paper(Read Wes Fager).Laura Morgan had a daughter who went through the Seed,Jennifer,but she never had anything to do with Str8 as far as I knew.Marlene Hauser(remember her?)had a daughter who went through the Seed who was on Senior Staff when I came in named Robin German.Now,she was beautiful!If you ever saw her,Bob,you'd forget Terri.This was all before Phase 5 or a Seven Step Society.Probably,they changed their billing structure before these wonderful developments as well.

137
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Apologies to 85DJ
« on: September 28, 2007, 01:16:55 AM »
Sorry about that Bob,I was getting ready to fax your psych to change your meds from Lithium to Thorazine.Terri(Tucker not Morgan)probably got away with a lot because she was Rick Batchelor,Jr.´s girlfriend.Look under the names of some of the early directors and you'll see the name of Rick Batchelor,Sr.Talking about the stare,nobody who posts will remember this but I was reknown for this catatonic state I put myself into for my first month.I would turn my head to face the person relating to avoid the 2nd Phase knit pickers avoiding the raps by messing with the newcomer,but from that point on,it was anywhere else but Str8.When they would stand me up,Marci(Butch)Moore would ask me if I had a name,I would just say ¨Yes¨.If she would ask me do I speak,I would just say ¨Yes¨.A form of passive resistance to cope within the day to day existence of front row.Marci Moore was an interesting story.She was Sr. staff when I came in,but neither went through Str8 nor the Seed.She was a Seed sibling.I guess we could call that convenient flexibility from the inflexibles.Thinking about such asininity,actually referring to going to the bathroom as a privilege.Remembering my stepfather,an extremely large man capable of obstinence as well as violence one time had another parent try to chastise him for going to the bathroom during an open meeting.He told that person flat out that he would like to see somebody try to stop him from going if he had to.Every newcomer who got sent out the bathroom before he could go because he was on some higher phaser's shit list should have went on the floor and explained why later.Maybe somebody would have got the point.

138
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Thousand Yard Stare
« on: September 25, 2007, 10:48:25 PM »
It's great that Woof and 85 DJ started and contributed to this post.In order to deal with all the ridiculous crap at that place,that's where I spent almost the entire year and a half,especially the open meetings,where I decided that I just didn't give a crap and sort of let staff and the 4th phase know it in the carpeted room at Morgan Yacht.I couldn't whip them,joined them as far as my stomach would allow me.All I could do was think about what I'd be doing if I wasn't there.What a comforting place to be.My head.Nobody could knit pick me up there.I could have sex and touch girls there.The most focused I became there was when I made a commitment to finish the program after nine months on fourth phase.I remember Woof going through the same pattern on fourth phase.They called it going into the woodwork.If only we could have been so lucky.It was this non committed going through the motions saying we don't want to be here,but we know that we don't have anywhere else to go.The monotony on 4th Phase was unbearable.If you didn't feel like coming in on your days off,somebody would always try to make you feel guilty.After a year on these forums,my greatest regret about Str8,after being there at all is not having the courage or resolve to discuss withdrawel from the program with my parents before my senior year in high school.I found out years later that if I pushed for it,I could have had it.They were tiring of it as well and felt that my progress had peaked out.I'm still trying to figure out what that progress was.If I have a thought about woulda/coulda/shoulda and Str8,that's it.Well,I didn't and the rest is history.By the way,Bob,how you could find Marie Ward erotic in any form boggles my mind.I still remember her and Nancy Minton walking around like the thought police in the newly formed Seven Step society.Every time she tried to get into my head,I just told her that girls made me shy.I guess that was nicer then telling her she made me nauseous.I want to keep this thread open.This one is fun.

139
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Handle disapointment well?
« on: August 25, 2007, 08:04:43 AM »
How everything goes in a full circle amazes me.I was looking at my life and how it's going now,how worse it could be,and how so much more was expected of me by myself and others two and three decades ago.This´posting will be full of cliches and quotes and for those I appall with these,please forgive me because I want to communicate as much of my thoughts as possible without dealing with the emotions.This I will do when I'm ready,which is not now.I think I lot of Jesse Ventura's character in "Predator","I don't have time to bleed!".I far from a tough guy,but whenever I think of Str8,how many times a day I really can't count because they're meshed in with so many other memories prior and afterward,I compensate and repress by just keeping busy.Sleeping on the floor is not even a problem for me,sometimes a mattress is.See how it's always with me.That is far from normal and only one of us can understand why.I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here and hopefully long enough to be a strong(?),supportive figure for all three of my kids,especially my one year old,whose birth totally changed my priorities,maybe for the good.Karma does exist and hopefully in the end I find myself in the right place.Woof,for some reason,we were meant to endure this.I don't feel bitterness towards the staff as they,too,were tormented on the way before asking "What's the first and most important rule?".Nobody has endured more pain than Dave Crock,you'll have to trust me on that.Whatever becomes of me I think that I've paid enough of a price in the Rahall,Milton Roy,and Morgan Yacht building to throw off the yoke of unrealistic expectations placed on me by those who still think that Str8 saved my life.My only job now is care for my family and enjoy more good days than bad.That may not be enough for everybody else,but I'm fine with that.

140
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Brent Sembler on Mitt Romney
« on: July 24, 2007, 10:55:59 PM »
This is frightening.A Florida Governor,A MK Ultra survivor.Might he be a sleeper as well.Understand,many a spook said that when Bob Martinez was Governor,the followers of L.Ron Hubbard weren{t far behind.Environmental Inspectors,on the road condemning businesses,were seen riding in Sembler Company Trucks.This is far too deep for me.

141
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / A New Type of Manchurian Candidate
« on: July 19, 2007, 01:45:30 AM »
Is Brent the Sembler who went through The Seed?

142
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / The Fucking Weak.
« on: June 21, 2007, 12:37:57 AM »
One thing is certain,insanity doesn't come in any one shape or size.These blogs helped me realize just how nuts those times were for me.Let me explain once more,Str8 for me was preferable to the home I was staying at 60 miles up the road.I never realized how bad it was for me back then except to realize that I preferred Str8 to that.The mentioning of those words makes some people think that I'm still nuts.Woof says I explained the rules to him in such a way as that it was essential to our survival to conform I was not an 85DJ.I was only a 60DJ.Like the chimney at Auschwitz,I realized that the only way out of Str8 was through those doors  with staffs blessings,not an easy or clearly defined goal to attain.Father's day for me was hard to celebrate with my great kids when all my still repressed rage at my father kept creeping up.85 DJ says I was kind of a conformist at that time.My question was ¨What were my other options?¨.As far as P.A. goes,if his wife left with their 3 kids,how can anybody but him be responsible?No mother of 3 leaves the father of her kids unless all other options are exhausted,or a very rich guy takes them away to Fantasyland,whichever comes first.

Pura Vida,
Sam

143
I know that one of the Sembler's sons(NOT GREG)graduated from The Seed.Maybe Brent was that son.

144
Helen ¨The self-taught Queen of Torture¨ Petermann appeared on ¨Real People¨ featuring LIFE in a positive light.Ironically,this was shortly after Str8 paid their first due on the Fred Collins business in Alexandria,Va.The same St.Pete Times edition that released the Jerry Vancil story(I Believe)published a picture of Jim Hartz.A 1972 or 1973 Admiral Farragut yearbook will have a picture of pre-Seed Dave Crock.While everybody else demonizes Dave,I feel very sad for the guy.I know a lot about him before he even experimented with drugs and his pathology(psychological history and makeup)is truly tragic.Coming from a household of a mother so overbearing she drove his father to kill himself at gunpoint and from hearing Dave tell it afterwards,almost matter-of-factly(like everybody´s mother was the same)could make anybody shudder.Remember,this is a guy,who signed himself into the Seed in Ft.Lauderdale,for what I believe,to get away from the woman.I read in a prior post that he´s suicidal now and that comes from being the survivor of a parent who did it.Don´t take my word for it,look at the stats.I believe,that he thought everything he was doing at that time was a noble endeavor.The tragedy was that he ever went down that twisted path.

145
If you can ever find the difunct TV series "Real People",Helen Peterman made an appearance on that show,if just to show her "Mr.Ed" replica pearly whites.Hard to find pictures of anybody as they're not exactly putting them up on websites.My suggestion would be to ask for old Pinellas County high school yearbooks from 1975-1980.Chris Cassler graduated from Northeast High in 1978.Doug Hemminger graduated from Dixie in 1979.Mike Murphy,Aimee Wright's husband,was in the 1976 Bogie yearbook.Wanda Minton graduated Dixie either 1979 or 1980.Liz Cassidy graduated Dixie in either 1978 or 1979.Go to the St. Pete Times archives for pictures of Jim Hartz.Any more leads,I'll let you know.

146
Nancy,the staff member you were asking about was named Nancy Halvorsen nee Gresham.She became Halvorsen after she married Kris Halvorsen,another staff member.
When we moved from Milton Roy to Morgan Yacht,I took the opportunity(to escape from group and that hotass building) that summer to use my experience in construction to assist in the move by helping build the intakes.My wonderful stepfather was more than happy to lend them use of his trucks.I remember trying to tell the parents and a few upper phasers that they were making a mistake hanging the sheetrock lengthwise,and I got more shit then you could imagine.You would have thought that I lit up a joint right there and then.I walked out right there and then and found another project.A father,with the last name of Massey,screamed "Hey look,that guy's copping out!".My thoughts were "Yeah,whatever!".Sentiments being there's no shortage of mule-headed,close-minded assholes.He must have been exhausted from hanging 1/4 inch sheetrock and nailing them in with ten penny nails.I decided to go move some furniture.

147
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / 7 steps ?
« on: May 17, 2007, 05:31:15 AM »
i wonder what the stats are for survivors...% dead % breakdown %talking to family NOT.....100% relapse or do drugs for the 1st time after hijacked from own life... then released as what??????WHAT did they do????HOW were they allowed to do it?????WHY arent they in jail????
 
           You might want to include me in the stats of survivors living abroad so I can fit in some category,even if that being one of "Just Another Crazy Gringo".Anywhere we go,first impressions are important,and being as normal as I can be considering I went through an eighteen month mindfuck as a teenager,I don't really care to explain myself to any strangers.Whereever I go down here in Costa Rica,when people see me,all they think is "Here comes that crazy gringo!"and given the circumstances,that's fine by me!

148
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / 7 steps ?
« on: May 11, 2007, 02:54:22 AM »
I guess that 18 months in that place put me in need of a lobotomy because I do remember them verbatim and I left that place(MORGAN YACHT)never to return almost 30 years ago.I finished the night the "Graduate Society" was renamed "The Seven Step Society".I think I am going to do a searching and fearless moral inventory and find out what the fuck is wrong with me.People have told me that I am blessed with this phenomenal memory but for me it´s a curse.I´m surprised that I don´t remember the color of each of those stupid pastel colored cards.Maybe we can submit it for a trivia question on "Who wants to be a Millionaire"?.

149
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Can we clarify something
« on: May 09, 2007, 03:47:52 AM »
The crime was the adult executive staff KNEW that we weren't addicts.Having the founder of another program tell me that just to have her and her husband found another program afterwards just boggles the mind.How much is the dollar worth?I just hope that they can sleep at night subjecting kids to MK-Ultra style behavior modification therapy that for the most part has no place in any family's life.

150
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Thought of you today,Mr. D.
« on: April 30, 2007, 06:53:07 PM »
How sick was that time during Str8´s infancy during Helen P´s Reign of Terror.I was for some strange reason remembering Phil Ondriecek(sic)and his vicious,abusive Aunt Leigh.This lady was a ringside regular at the Rasslin at the Armory on Tuesday Nights.According to Phil,She was a lady grappler herself in her youth and by looking at her,it was very believable.I remember one open meeting,right after Phil "screwed up"(I HATE THAT TERM)and her holding the microphone doing what I call playing the trailer park dozens,calling him things like the "North End of a Southbound Mule" amongst a bunch of juvenile insults.Talk about your feelings,parents!Since she wasn't a parent but a relative stuck with him,I guess an exception was made for empathy and sensitivity.Hartz decided with this battle axe as a guardian,Phil treatment would be "hopeless" and terminated him.What really sticks out to me about this was,during this open meeting tirade by Leigh,Helen Peterman was standing in front of the parents,looking at the kids,with an unforgettable glowing gleeful expression.It was if a tiny genie was giving her cunnilingus right there and then,that's how ecstatic she was.His Aunt calling this kid "The North End of a Southbound Mule" over a microphone in front of 300 people gave her an unmeasuarable amount of joy,one hardly seen by the likes of this lady.I mention this just as addendum on just how sick and twisted bitch Helen Peterman really was!Mr.D,I still remember you with your head back on the panelling on that wall the first night at the Lang's house with that look of "Oh Shit,What do I do from here?".I'm glad you trusted me at least somebody did.I think that staff at that time was frustarated with me at that time because for that year and a half,as you mentioned D,I managed to survive that insane,soon to become more insane place.My mother thinks that she saved my life by sending me there,I have just begun to tell her of the atrociously high mortality rate of Str8 grads versus the rest of society.Mom's still looking for the words.Hang in there Mr D!One things for sure,if you can take Str8,you can take almost anything!

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