Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

My kids. I support them wholly and the economy is tanked. Plus, it is one of thsoe things I've grown more acutely aware of.... I wish I didn't. I'd rather be ignorant. I have a mortgage, their insurance, and a little flexibility so I can actually be there for them. I will be looking... but need net first.

WTF gives you that idea?   I'm a troll? Oh Jesus. Laugh out fucking loud. Whatever. I probably personally know more people at this site than you do.

Right now, I am feeling misanthropic and need to vent. I have become slowly disillusioned by my job which I really don't think of as helpful. There is a sense of entitlement and laziness and conformity that makes me ill. My school is charter and publicly funded and we are supposed to be transparent. However, the level of censorship surpasses that of a Christian private school... the board and the CEO apply a lot of illegal political and religious pressure on the employees.  Financially, it is unethical. Admin at our charter school are running for and winning (we have extreme right wing political cronies to help) board seats at our good public schools so they can influence ideology and finances in favor of ours. When people start to ask questions, they are removed. I recently was warned that someone was forced to sign a paper to state that she would never say anything adverse about our school or practices to any person or be fired on the spot. It was because she questioned inefficient and unethical practices. (Is this even legal?)  Her husband was just laid off, so she has no recourse... the economy is bad and it is hard to get a job elsewhere. I am so sickened that they did this, and was only warned by the very frightened person so that I could protect myself. It is all very Big Brother.  People have tried to rebel or send anonymous letters to be summarily fired. Now, people are in dire straights (economy) and can't find other jobs. The funny thing is the people being targeted are intellectuals and ethical. The ones who see initiatives that all for show and don't work. The people running the show and being promoted have breeched every type of fiduciary and ethical code.  Some people have been purposely misrepresented to tarnish their reputations. I am totally sickened and have to support my kids.

But in general, I'm just fed up by the materialism, the lack of discretion, the 24/7 media, the total lack of boundaries... I also live in the most socially hierarchical, classist, ultracrazyconservative town chock full of religious hypocrites. (I've lived in a LOT of places, so I'm not just complaining for no reason. This is the worst. By far.)

I am tired of watching all the power struggles and attempts of social and interpersonal control on a daily basis. I just don't have the stomach for it. I feel like I am too sensitive to it all and I wish I were blind and dumb. Ignorance is bliss. There isn't one part of me that wishes to control or compete with others, and certainly not in a way that is politicized and compulsory and demeaning.

I feel like running off to live in a hut in Timbuktu today. I'm disillusioned with society and cynically view everything as Lord of the Flies.
I hate cynicism.

I know I sound like a paranoid nut job, but I just need to vent now so I don't pull down anyone at work and tomorrow I'll buck up.
Thank you for letting me.

But to what degree are you, at this point, complicit in your defeat?

Part of the problem is 2o years post program, some people are just more comfortable in the status quo of dysfunctionality. And then you have to ask yourself, as shitty, and stripping and traumatic as the program was, when did it become your Excuse for Everything?