Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: 7stepper on February 14, 2004, 02:45:00 AM
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I 7stepped Straight in Va. in'86. Was there 18 months. Never sat in my own feces or urine nor did I see anyone else do that. Never got hit or hit anyone. Was never molested and never heard any rumors that it was going on. Agree that songs like "straight is it" were irratating but preferred singing to staring at a wall. I do remember some confrontational raps after open meeting, but nothing to cause nightmares. Had a brother and a sister that withdrew themselves when they turned 18. One was there 1 month, the other 11 months. Both thought the program sucked but neither claims any abuse took place. After completing the program I met and married another 7stepper. We've been married 16 years and have 2 kids. Neither of us got into AA or NA, but are both still sober. My experience was that Straight was a tough program and a difficult time in my life but I did come out of there a whole lot stronger than I went in. My life has gone on. I've had tougher times in my life and easier times but they're all experiences. I do not define myself by the fact that I went through a Straight program, nor do I define my siblings as failures for not completing it. My family is really close and yet rarely do any of us even mention Straight. Imagine that - that is how insignificant it is at this point in our lives. We're all more caught up in our children, our jobs, OUR LIVES! I hope you all can find the peace w/ your past that you are seeking so you can move on.
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*** 10's ***
My Skin is Cold, Transfusion with Somebody
Morose and Old, Drop into Fruitless Dying
It was tempting and bared, the whoring angel rising
Now burning prayers, my silent time of losing
My foes - they can?t destroy my body
Colliding slow, like life itself
Long for the blur, we cannot drive much longer
Semen to dirt, DISGUSTED WITH MY CHEAPNESS
Reaching down, staring up (at the forgiver)
_________________
You're a fool! Dont fuck around with my dog.
All that I can see I steal...I fill up my garage..
[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-02-14 03:50 ]
[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-02-14 03:51 ]
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If you have moved on ...and straights so unimportant WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AT FORNITS..
You sound sad and brinwashed and you are calling yourself "7 Stepper"?! What a fucking tool you are..
Have a nice life and dont come back, fuck!!!
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Preach on Brother Therion! Testify!
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On 2004-02-14 03:59:00, Therion wrote:
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If you have moved on ...and straights so unimportant WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AT FORNITS..
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:tup: My God Therion,
Heh, I was thinking the same thing when I read that. What in the hell drew him over to this site, why did he deem it necessary to search for the topic 'Straight' in Google if it was soooooo insignificant in his life? I don't get it. Usually by this time I am posting something about him being in denial, or him having nightmares or flashbacks, arguing excessively with people in the present. Naaaa, why waste my breath anyway.......
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I don't find anything wrong about what he said. Not everyone had the same experience in there. I never saw anyone sit in piss or shit either and I was never hit by anyone nor was I deprived of food. I didn't get to eat what I wanted but, I ate. He didn't say that he loved the place or that it was easy....so, I don't know why you all are busting his balls. He is as much of a survivor of Straight as anyone else that was there regardless of him graduating or not. I mean the guy said he stayed sober by choice and now he is all about his wife and kids.....is that a bad thing? Hell no it's not!
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On 2004-02-13 23:45:00, 7stepper wrote:
" Never sat in my own feces or urine nor did I see anyone else do that. Never got hit or hit anyone. Was never molested and never heard any rumors that it was going on.
You and the other people never sat in your own feces or urine because others who went before you fought hard enough that Straight had to be more careful. I'm absolutely certain you SAW someone get hit because tempers flair at misbehavors and they don't have any recourse, do they? As far as molestation, I don't imagine you spent a lot of time or energy paying attention to what misbehaving girls had to say about the grown men who restrained them. By virtue of their being misbehavors, anything they said was nul and void. I know in Michigan the fucking quack they hired to look after the physical ailments of Straightlings told girls to remove their shirts and asked about their sexual histories regardless of what they were there for. This happened to me when I had an ingrown toenail (I was 13 and didn't HAVE a sexual history, not that anyone believed that) and I don't actually know of any girl on my program that wasn't asked to answer sexual questions bare-chested if she wanted healthcare.
If you are happy with your life I am happy for you. But certainly you don't think every single person here is full of shit? That these boards exist for no reason?
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Sorry to disappoint - No search was done to find this site. It was passed on to me from an old friend who thought I might find it amusing. I found it sad. Again, no flashbacks, no nightmares, and don't think I argue anymore than the next person. Just thought it wouldn't hurt to say that some of us have moved on. Have no clue on who'd I be working as a tool for since I have no association w/ a program that closed it's doors long ago. See now that no one here is interested in moving on, so I won't bother again. One last question for you all to think about - If you continue to sit in all this anger, didn't the program win anyway? Time to move on. Peace
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I certainly didn't say that everyone is full of shit...I just stated about my own experience there. That is why i said that not everyone had the same experience. I did see people get hit by other phasers. I personally don't agree with a bunch of stuff Straight did and many kids should not have been there as drug problems most likely were not an issue for them. For the people that were sexually abused in there by another phaser or by whoever....I feel for them. I was sexually abused before going to Straight and I know exactly how fucked up that can leave a person. I also know how hard it is to change things within myself and how painful shit can be. But, I refuse to torture myself day after day with things that have happened to me that I couldn't control. I am an adult now and I have complete power over every decision I make now and I don't want to waste anymore of my life on pain and misery. I certainly am not taking anything away from how you or anyone else is feeling but, it seems like in here that everyone wants to feed off of everyone elses pain and the minute someone comes on here and says that they are doing ok and they have been able to let go of alot of shit and pretty much move on in their life.....about 20 people jump on them and say that he or she is just brainwashed and get the fuck off of here. Why???? My question to that individual would be "what did you do to get thru all this?" The reason I came onto this site was to find people that I lost contact with and to see and hear how people are doing. Straight was a rough time for anyone who was there and for that reason alone I have a connection to all of you.
[ This Message was edited by: Scott D on 2004-02-14 07:43 ]
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Perhaps one location was worse or better than others. As I said, I was at the Va. Straight and I can say with absolute certainty that NO males restrained the girls - it wasn't allowed - not even in host homes. As you say I am grateful for those who went before me and had rules changed. Years ago I met a bunch of the 7steppers out of St. Petersberg and they told me how easy I had it compared to them. I believed them. And for the record, they seemed like real together people, not emotionally scarred.
Scott D - thanks for understanding. I see you went through the Va. program too. Can't say I've kept in touch w/ too many other 7steppers - been a long time- but I wish you the best in reconnecting w/ them. I'm glad to see you also got the message about personal choices dictating your life, it sure helped me to move on.I will pass this forum on to the few people I have kept up. Peace
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ok I was in one of the most "laid back" of the straights. And people got hit there.
They really did. And message about personal choices dictating your life...I got the message that I prefer it much better when I get to make some personal choices and dictate my own life.
The things that went on in boston alone make me not question that the horrific claims made by others are entirely possible.
I can say this also, for me personally I was in other places after straight and have nothing bad to say about them, and no urge to look them up on the web. They weren't fun, but they didn't shape my life the way Straight did. They didn't traumatize me and they didn't make a lasting nightmare giving life altering change in my exsistance.
look on the Straight inc alum boards, there are newspaper articles documenting kids getting hit by staff and Boston Stoughton Straight and that being part of why that location was closed, by childrens services.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
--Unknown
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I just wanted to add that I don't believe that I am dwelling on my time in Straight. I just think that at the age I was when I went in and the things that happened along with the friendships I developed still effect my life today. I was only 15 when I went in. Straight relationships taught me how to have relationships all around. I am very paranoid and untrusting. Everyone is capable of turning on me (reporting me) and my whole life (my program)could be destroyed or shaken beyond belief. That is why I like to get on here and find that there are others who survived. Others that did not give up and commit suicide, turn to bigger better drugs, or end up in some insane assylum. Is that awful that I want to know that I am not alone in my trials to stay sane after straight. I thing the basic principals of straight were right on. The people who were in charge dropped the ball and ruined it. I am a single mom who works and tries very hard to move on. Maybe straight helped, maybe not. Either way I am a survivor!!!
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I did sit in my own urine and that was in 1989 and I was compliant...and "working" the program..
OKOK actually Im not going to list abuses..
I do not post often about straight..I came to fornits because Straight did affect me..and still does...
I stay at fornits because it is the main posting board for some of my best friends and sister...I have a shit family..therefore my friends are all I have and I want to be where they are...Fornits..
I even have people I consider friends that I have never spoken to other than posts here suck as Froed...
Thats what fornits is to me..I want to share poetry, opinions, stories, and anything else with my friends...
But dont come here telling people to "GET OVER IT" your life is good anon, you have a family and wife an job...not everyone does..
Some were affected alot worse than you...this board is for them to vent...this can save lives..
People can post and find they arent alone..and make support nets..
"GEt over it" helps noone..are you so blind you dont see this???!!
YOU have moved on...great..good for you..
but dont come here rubbing that in peoples faces..
IF PEOPLE HAVENT MOVED ON AND NEED AN EAR OR ADVIVE I WANT TO HEAR THEM..I WANT TO TALK TO THEM..I WANT TO LET THEM KNOW THEY ARE CARED FOR AND UNDERSTOOD...I AM THE ANGEL THERION.
Now if you arent gonna be supportive then eat shit...start a pro straight sight..
And scott I can see where you are coming from but am dissapointed that you dont agree with me about this..
some folks dont have an ear..I didnt...and have
found some of the most amazing friends here...
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I didn't take him as trying to rub anything in anyones face. He was just stating his own experience there. I am sure that there were things that fucked with his head in and out of Straight as a result of being in there. I have yet talked to anyone that was there sober or not that didn't have something that they felt that Straight messed with their head about. He just said that he was able to get over a lot of things and move on in his life with a wife , a job and his kids. I don't know him personally or does he me. But, when I get jammed up about shit in my life and I can't seem to get out of it and I am depressed, pissed, scared and hopeless...my ears tend to perk up when I hear someone else or see someone else that overcame the same shit that I am sitting in. I mean this with any issue in my life not just Straight related things. I truely don't think that anyone wants to be unhappy....people want friends and family etc. Why wouldn't someone want that? I am not taking away from bad shit that has happened to people. We ALL have a story. There are some very bad things in my story that I had no control over, the sweet thing now is that I do have control over it now for the most part. I simply mean that I have the power of choice now with everything about me. I know what my experience in Straight was and I know who I am. I don't forget anything about my life....my history in life is like a huge classroom where I learn as I go but, for a really long time after Straight I stayed in the same grade for years. This is a gay analogy but, this world does not owe me shit and if I want something I have to go after it.. I am no different then you or 7 stepper. We all are "survivors of Straight" and I want to hear his story as much as I want to hear yours. I also want to hear how you are dealing with things and how he is dealing with stuff now (I mean this in general not just you two specifically). Then I am able to choose things that I read that I think may be of help to myself. All I am saying is that when your read his post, you got pissed at something....when I read it, I didn't get pissed at all. Why is that? I am not saying that I am right and you are wrong.... i'm just asking why the big contrast between 2 individuals that have a ton in common? Listen dude, I can respect your opinions and most certainly your emotions as I have felt them to but, you just seem to be very quick to slam the door on someone that rightfully should be able to walk in here. Peace to you.
[ This Message was edited by: Scott D on 2004-02-15 10:28 ]
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All's well that ends well.. ::cheers::
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On 2004-02-13 23:45:00, 7stepper wrote:
"I 7stepped Straight in Va. in'86. Was there 18 months. Never sat in my own feces or urine nor did I see anyone else do that. Never got hit or hit anyone. Was never molested and never heard any rumors that it was going on. Agree that songs like "straight is it" were irratating but preferred singing to staring at a wall. I do remember some confrontational raps after open meeting, but nothing to cause nightmares. Had a brother and a sister that withdrew themselves when they turned 18. One was there 1 month, the other 11 months. Both thought the program sucked but neither claims any abuse took place. After completing the program I met and married another 7stepper. We've been married 16 years and have 2 kids. Neither of us got into AA or NA, but are both still sober. My experience was that Straight was a tough program and a difficult time in my life but I did come out of there a whole lot stronger than I went in. My life has gone on. I've had tougher times in my life and easier times but they're all experiences. I do not define myself by the fact that I went through a Straight program, nor do I define my siblings as failures for not completing it. My family is really close and yet rarely do any of us even mention Straight. Imagine that - that is how insignificant it is at this point in our lives. We're all more caught up in our children, our jobs, OUR LIVES! I hope you all can find the peace w/ your past that you are seeking so you can move on."
My life has gone on as well, but I am baffled by the ignorance of your post. If you had the slightest knowledge of trauma and PTSD you might know that the effects are different from one person to another as is the duration from what I can gather. What makes you so self rightgeous? Better? not to mention that many people block out traumatic experiences. Perhaps you have. I can't imagine you never saw anyone be abused in one form or another during your time there. I can imagine that it is true that your life has gone on, but why are you preaching to those who still have difficulties caused by what they experienced? If it does not matter to you, why do you take the time to post? Go back to YOUR LIVES and leave people alone. Apparently something is drawing you to these postings. Maybe you should think deep and hard about what that might be.
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I always find it amazing when I read of people who do not have extreme negative recollections of their time in Straight, but do agree with Scott as far as him being as welcome here as any other survivor. He did say it was difficult and I believe it is important to respect what people remember. What I found offensive about the post and I think it is what elicited some of the stronger responses was that the ending comments were fairly sarcastic and even condescending. I for one, had a horrid time in Straight, Dallas but I respect that 7stepper did not apparently see or experience what I did. After plenty of therapy I am happy to say that Straight does not haunt me as it used to but I did feel, 7 stepper, that you were ridiculing and putting down those of us who did suffer severe abuse at the hands of Straight and did have to put great effort into healing the effects of the brainwashing, abuse and wounds inflicted by that place. I look at Fornits as a place to offer hope, support and friendship to fellow survivors. Sometimes I laugh when I read things, sometimes I cry my eyes out and sometimes I am indifferent but I am always bonded to these people becuase we did experience a very strange place together. I believe that as someone who was lucky enough to have access to therapy and deprogramming that I have a responsibility to reach out to those who have not and desperately need to heal from Straight. I would hope - 7 stepper - that you might share how you did move on but in a constructive and not condescending way. I also think that the age and reasons we were placed there has a lot to do with attitudes and post Straight issues. I was barely 15 and even today at 31 have seen pot twice in my life and only touched it once. I had no business being in a place like Straight - I was severely depressed and suicidal after being raped but Straight convinced my parents on intake I was lying and just admit me for 14 day eval and they would get the truth out of me. My parents just wanted to be able to sleep not worrying if I was going to try to kill myself so they left me. 22 months later I came out warped beyond belief and it took years of therapy and deprogramming for me to even have any remote idea of who or what I truly was about. I hope that all survivors will find something here and that you, 7 stepper, will share how you were able to get on with your life, just maybe with a bit more empathy for those of us who were more profoundly impacted.
Jennifer
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Hiya Jenny !!! ::heart::
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Fornits is here for different things..
Some are angry and wanna vent..hence the "I fucked miller newtons mom" type posts...
Some are just sharing stories..
Some are working through sadness...
Some are here to keep up with other ex straightlings...to check on people...
Some are here as friends..or just to hang out.
Some are here for all of the above...
Im glad you have moved on...perhaps you could tell us about what you did to work through your issues..
Mabey you could be encouraging even...Theres alot of lonely people..down and out people..
Searching... An encouraging word or PM may help someone.
But if you just want to come here and look down and say "Move on...pussies! Quit whining! My life is great! Get over it!"
That doesnt do too much good. And of course people are gonna jump your shit. You are acting like a fucktard...
However ..we start out fresh every day!
And you can always act a little bit cooler and with more understanding and respect than you did yesterday...or last week.
Have you not seen the suicide rate for ex straightlings?
If it werent for that...mabey someone coming here acting like an asshole could be overlooked.
Out of a room full of mabey 75 kids I sat with during the summer of 1988 theres probably about 10 that I know of that are dead...from suicide..and thats just from the kids in "My Group" that summer...
You get the picture right? If not...just ask and Ill give you the long "unabridged, you are an idiot" version.
Thanks sir and good day to you. :wink:
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Let him speak for himself...and Scott you are missing the point dude...Its not WHAT he said but HOW he said it..
He was being a dick on purpose then hiding behind "opinion"
Thats fine that he liked staright...but the way hes saying it is ....well I already made that clear didnt I?
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My guess is that if he had moved on and was doing so well, he wouldn't have the need to make himself feel better by making those comments in a condescending way. Pretty pathetic to insult people's pain if you ask me.
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Now, this is what I love about everyone in here.....there are so many different reactions to everything because certain things strike people differently to each individual for their own reasons. I have made the mistake of taking people wrong when reading text before and people have taken me wrong as well thinking I was being a dick when that was not my intent at all. It's hard to tell emotion behind typed words. Unless it is blunt but, in this case I did not pick up on it as a bad motive. I remember when I first found this site about 5 months ago and I started reading past posts I truely started to get pissed off at some of what I was reading....why?....because I didn't believe a lot of it or I felt pissed because I saw people still letting Straight or whatever past thing still control them like they just got out of there yesterday. But, then I had to step back a second and realize a bunch of things.....one was until I found this, my contact with anyone from Straight has been extremely small(next to nil)and most times when I think back to being in Straight itself all I think about for the most part was me and my experience mean while being blinded by everyday problems after Straight and trying desparately to function in everyday life. This may sound selfish and it is and was but this is how I thought. I try daily not to be and think like that anymore...i'm certainly not perfect with it. I also realized on here that when I was in Springfield may 88- Nov 89 that 1988 was severe compared to 89. So, I know that it was much worse way before I got there and other Straights had different staff so I don't know what took place in those places except for what I read on here. I also know that I have a drug problem and I also believe many people that were in there didn't and do not have addiction issues. All I am trying to say is that everyone has a different outlook on what they read in here and their thoughts on Straight from their direct perspective and frankly, it can be quite overwhelming first coming into these posts. Jenifer, I liked your post and I clearly understood your thinking and what your thought process was. I personally am still sober, but to be sober I feel that you must be a holic or addict. I am friends with people that drink and smoke weed to. I choose not to be around them when they smoke weed and thats my choice and my own issues not theirs and they all respect me for that....therefore they are my friends. Sometimes I wish on here Therion, that more people would just come out and say that they feel alone when they are hurting but, seems like so many tend to focus on all the bull shit that Straight may have delt them that it blends in with so many other posts. I am sure many people were mentally and emotionally scarred by someone in Straight but, I think a lot of people hide unintentionally behind Straight and it doesn't allow themselves the oppurtunity to move on. I don't know.....I really don't have all the answers nor do I think I ever do, it's just that I have gotten myself into many negative cycles in my life and it seems like I am not alone with the cycle thing in here either. For example, typically when I post that I am sober and still sober since Straight, there usually will be someone jumpin down my throat asking me why I feel like I have a drug problem or stating that I must still be brain washed. I have no problem ever responding to those questions but I have never asked someone on here why they don't think they have a problem when they post pictures of bongs or when they talk about doing cocaine or trippin etc. The reason I don't ask??? Because who am I to know if one has a problem or not. I am not God. Alot of people that were in Straight that didn't have problems drug related often seem to assume that everyone else that was there also didn't have addiction problems. I am here to say that wasn't the case with me personally and because I say that on here many react that I'm still brainwashed at age 30. I personally learned very quick what reality was after graduating Straight and going to AA. There is a huge difference and I spent countless times in meetings just crying my eyes out trying to adjust and learn "real" recovery. I look and listen to people very different today on here and in real time. On here it can be difficult for so many reasons trying to guess at ones motives in text. I hope 7 stepper responds to some of the questions that were asked to him because I can't speak for him but, I still do not think his motive was to be little anyone or to put himself up on a pedastal. But he knows . Sorry for the long ramble.
[ This Message was edited by: Scott D on 2004-02-16 16:54 ]
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Holy shit man...
If you space out paragraphs..
Its way easier on the eyes...
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Quote of the Day:::::: "Theres about three people in this world I really give a shit about, and you arent one of them" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: