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Messages - Elle
16
« on: August 01, 2001, 09:45:30 PM »
Numbers
I'm curious about exactly how many kids have been through Straight, Kids, and the more recent versions of the program. Actually I'd really like to know all the way back to Synanon. Does anybody have an approximate figure for how many graduates or clients there have been in any of the branches? Or any clue how I could find out?
Elle.
17
« on: August 01, 2001, 04:19:01 AM »
ego
Well said John. I can honestly say, that I was never a beleiver, but I still got brainwashed in ways that I never expected. I knew that I had to play the game in order to get out, but I thought that once I got out I could just move on and forget about it. Instaed I've been haunted by the "druggie clothes" and "druggie music". I mean, is there anything more rediculous? Anyone who didn't wear the jeans and t-shirt uniform that we were supposed to wear was a druggie. Doesn't matter how old, doesn't matter who they were. People would whisper and talk about how messed up they were.
I came out with an anger towards drugs and drug addicts, but found some reason in it. I hate what's going on with drugs in our society, I hate that there isn't much real help out there, and I hate attending funerals for people who have overdosed. But I could care less if my friends are addicts, social users, or sober, as long as I care for them. It's a pretty lonely life to turn your nose up towards anyone who drinks or uses now and then, and it's extremely egotistical to think that you're (not you) spiritually advanced over them. I think every addicted friend I've made since I was out, had themselves more together than me, or anyone else in that program. They could me completely screwed, but at least they remember what real life is like.
Elle.
18
« on: December 02, 2001, 12:56:50 AM »
19
« on: December 01, 2001, 11:28:33 PM »
Dogs
It's deffinately possible for ex straight/straight based program staff to go out and form good programs. It's happened. But try to keep in mind the posting about AARC started from people in AARC like myself, and isn't only ex straight members who haven't been there.
Elle.
20
« on: December 01, 2001, 05:54:19 AM »
Can't get away from me can you?
But the thing is that you weren't exactly like the other staff members. If it's any consolation, you're probably the only person who didn't permantantly injure me in some way! I would have been there many more months (or longer) if it weren't for you. By going back it caused you unecessary pain, but I don't think that you passed it on to anyone else, which is something that none of the others can say for themselves. We knew that you had to play the game the same way that everyone else did or that you would be in an equal amount of trouble, but we also knew that you wouldn't judge us. You were the nice guy, that's got to amount to something.
I'm quite sure that we'll be able to see karma work in the near future. Near enough anyways. With hell slowly beginnng to break loose it will all fall apart.
"Elle"
21
« on: October 02, 2001, 02:54:29 AM »
silent
Some places are more calmed down than The Straights or Kids of America, so it really is harder for parents to see what their kid is going through. The place that I was in (Alberta Adolecent Recovery Centre) is a Straight spin off. We learned very quickly how to make the parents think that we are doing okay, because if we didn't we would be in quite a bit of trouble, and only kept there for one more week at least. Physical abuse and restraining didn't happen during open meetings where everyone could see. They didn't happen every day. The thing is, that even if they didn't happen at all, those things are the least harmful bit. It's the programming of your mind in order to become more pleasing to society that kills you. Having to make emotional or sexual confessions in order to see yourself as sick, in order to make you think you have to behave as the others in order to recover. Not allowing time alone is a form of abuse. It is one of the key ingredients for brain washing. Those group or "rap" sessions that all of us had gone through are extremely popular in cults. They look like modern day therapy, but in excess they become ways to achieve altered states.
No, there shouldn't be more reports just because it's been open for so long. One reason for that, because kids feel ashamed. They don't know if they really are bad kids for disagreeing, because in the center they weren't allowed to disagree.
Another reason is that usually these centres make friends with Judges, make friends with the police, make friends with social services, make friends with all the other resources available where kids could turn too. Trust me, I have been trying to get my story heard for years now. Some people don't want the centre taken away because it succesfully gets rid of kids who have been in and out of prison, and others won't help because they are afraid of the controversy. I know of many peopel with the authority to close the place down who are aware of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, but they won't do it.
There are plenty of treatment centres out there where you can sit down with yoru son and talk for a few hours a week, and where he can have intense positive therapy. Not all relaxed treatment centres aren't doing there job.
Elle.
22
« on: October 02, 2001, 12:03:23 AM »
Caution
In my opinion, even if it was an allegation, parents need to be weary of what a treatment center did that was so bad, it made a youth report go to such lengths of lying to the athorities.
Since leaving the abusive center I was in, I've gone on to accomplish plenty of great things, and am not on drugs. However, I am very bitter against abusive centers and cults, because of the pain that has been caused to me.
The defiancy in your teen may one day be his greatest quality. Love the fact that he's got determination and individuality, even if he may be aiming it in the wrong directions.
Good luck,
Elle.
23
« on: October 01, 2001, 12:40:13 PM »
acceptance
Before I went into "treatment centre" that was staight based, I'd been through many other places, therapists, psychologits, ect. My family percieved them as failing, because I hadn't stopped the behavoirs that worried them, however some of them were benificial and changed me quit a bit. An outreach worker who simnply met me for coffee weekly gave me someone to share with, and helped boost my self esteem. I stopped doing drugs, but my parents continued to accuse me of being on them.
I had anorexia, and had since childhood. I'd been severely depressed and suicidal most of my life. I had drug induced psychosis leaving me in a state of constant hollucinations, and was unable to even read for one year. So, certainly my parents had reason to worry, and certainly I was in severe emotional and physical pain. One would think, that things couldn't get worse.
Years after "treatment" I sadly remember those times on drugs and near death as the happiest times in my life, because I hadn't been exposed to the ugliness of a straight based program yet. I think that you need to accept that we are not anti treatment. We are anti straight/straight based treatment, and that is where your son is. You also need to accept that you really have no way of knowing what is going on when you are not in the room. He may start looking physically better because he's put on weight, and he may laugh or smile, but you don't know what's scaring him to make those outward changes. Inwardly, he may be being exposed to something so traumatic that he will never be himself again. That's called killing ones spirit.
I'd like to repeat that the place I was in did NOT use food or sleep deprivation against us. There was hidden physical/sexual abuse happening, but extremely well hidden. Many of the kids didn't even know it was happening to the others. Most kids got fat, and had color back in their cheeks again.
I know that you must love your son to say that you would rather have him brainwashed as long as he's alive, but who is that surving? Many of us will tell you that it might have been best if we'd died from a drug overdose, than gone through straight based programs. As a married woman with pets, a loving new family, and a comfy house, I still sometimes feel that living through it has been too hard, and wonder if it was worth it. I don't ever think that of my drug times. Those are much easier to recover from.
Alternative solution, is let live. I know it seems wrong to sit and watch your child self destruct, but subjecting him to mental, and even sexual abuse is the worst thing to do. A parent outside of your situation would understand that. You keeping him there, is making you feel better. It makes you feel as though you are doing the best thing for him, it let's you feel safe at night (falesly) knowing that he's alive. For his sake, maybe you should imagine what pain has come out of his self destruction, or what sadness may have led him to take it so far. Then, add the insult to the injury of him feeling commited, abandoned, and now probably abused. For the rest of his life he'll wonder why his parents, and everyone from GT thought that he needed to be changed so badly. He'll always feel that there must be something wrong with him, and be afraid to show his true self.
He may be young and niave, but he is a human being who should have equal amount of freedom in life that you do, and I know that you would not want to be commited and brainwashed because you've made bad decisions. And You know what? Knowing you're possibly subjecting him to abuse puts you in a place where that may happen.
Just trying to help you and your son here.
Elle.
24
« on: October 02, 2001, 02:54:29 AM »
silent
Some places are more calmed down than The Straights or Kids of America, so it really is harder for parents to see what their kid is going through. The place that I was in (Alberta Adolecent Recovery Centre) is a Straight spin off. We learned very quickly how to make the parents think that we are doing okay, because if we didn't we would be in quite a bit of trouble, and only kept there for one more week at least. Physical abuse and restraining didn't happen during open meetings where everyone could see. They didn't happen every day. The thing is, that even if they didn't happen at all, those things are the least harmful bit. It's the programming of your mind in order to become more pleasing to society that kills you. Having to make emotional or sexual confessions in order to see yourself as sick, in order to make you think you have to behave as the others in order to recover. Not allowing time alone is a form of abuse. It is one of the key ingredients for brain washing. Those group or "rap" sessions that all of us had gone through are extremely popular in cults. They look like modern day therapy, but in excess they become ways to achieve altered states.
No, there shouldn't be more reports just because it's been open for so long. One reason for that, because kids feel ashamed. They don't know if they really are bad kids for disagreeing, because in the center they weren't allowed to disagree.
Another reason is that usually these centres make friends with Judges, make friends with the police, make friends with social services, make friends with all the other resources available where kids could turn too. Trust me, I have been trying to get my story heard for years now. Some people don't want the centre taken away because it succesfully gets rid of kids who have been in and out of prison, and others won't help because they are afraid of the controversy. I know of many peopel with the authority to close the place down who are aware of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, but they won't do it.
There are plenty of treatment centres out there where you can sit down with yoru son and talk for a few hours a week, and where he can have intense positive therapy. Not all relaxed treatment centres aren't doing there job.
Elle.
25
« on: October 02, 2001, 12:03:23 AM »
Caution
In my opinion, even if it was an allegation, parents need to be weary of what a treatment center did that was so bad, it made a youth report go to such lengths of lying to the athorities.
Since leaving the abusive center I was in, I've gone on to accomplish plenty of great things, and am not on drugs. However, I am very bitter against abusive centers and cults, because of the pain that has been caused to me.
The defiancy in your teen may one day be his greatest quality. Love the fact that he's got determination and individuality, even if he may be aiming it in the wrong directions.
Good luck,
Elle.
26
« on: September 02, 2001, 02:06:12 AM »
Welcome!
Welcome Mary! I'm not from straight but a spin off still functioning in Canada. Just happy to see more people finding a support web : )
Elle.
27
« on: September 01, 2001, 10:26:06 AM »
stats
in the foreward for Captive Hearts and captive Minds, Michael D. Langone says about cults "There is about 5000 such groups in the united states - some large, some very small. Noted cult researcher and clinical psychologist Dr. Margaret thaler Singer estimates that about 10 to 20 million people have at some point in recent years have been in one or more of such groups.The national office of the cult awareness network reports that it recieves about 18,000 inquiries a year."
I beleive this was written in 93. Does anyone have any suggestions as to wear I could go for a recent estimate on cult victoms or suspicious groups? I will contact CAN...But ever since the scientologists bought it I find it a little odd....
Elle.
28
« on: August 01, 2001, 08:13:50 AM »
Just a note on decriminilization, I'm Canadian and there hasn't been any legal pot smoking, or hemp growing, except for medical purposes.
Elle.
29
« on: December 01, 2001, 05:38:24 AM »
lock up
It's so that police can take kids anywhere too. If a parent calls the police and says take my kid away, even if there's no legitimate reason they can lock them up somewhere for 72 hours.
Elle.
30
« on: August 02, 2001, 02:31:24 AM »
the 72 hour law
In ALberta there is a fairly new law called the 72 hour law. British Columbia has fiddled around with it, but I'm not positive if they are using it now.
The law allows any youth (I beleive they are using under 19) to be taken and improsned anywhere for 72 hours, and then they are given the right to leave. AARC has gained many youth this way and *surprise* none of them have left! This is supposed to be a sign that they like it there. lol.
The funny thing is that the attourney generals office wanted to meet with youth to vote on the law. I was invited, and due to a mix up and lack of caring to orginizing properly, I was the only youth. I was absolutley against it, and any treatment center taking away the rights of yoputh who are already suffering. They printed a small book about the study saying how I approved of it, it works, and the law should go through. Hmmmm.
On top of the risk of kids being sent to harmful treatment centers, there is the risk of youth who do not be in any facility, and who will then loose any trust in the system from then on. Also, for those who are heavily addicted or working for pimps, they will be sent out onto the streets in the worst part of their withdrawls, and they will probably be punished for their dissapearance. I'm absolutely sick right now with the way our government is working. I am not the only yoputh who has spoken against the 72 hour law, before and after. The majority was obviously against it, but 5 people on a pannel wanted it to go their own way.
Elle.
Elle.
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