Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

i know whatcha mean.  i've been just tryin' ta stay in one place for a while.  When i was a kid my family had to move about every 3 years. i always had to make new freinds and stuff.  i kept movin' i mean i seen a lot of stuff and feel like i call the whole country "home".  Now i gotta get out of the country. hitch hikin' and jumpin' trains.

Once, when i was on 1st phase at the same place in D.C. where i started havin' those crazy nightmares, i refused to write my M.I.  It was maybe a little while after i came back from leavin'and i was just sort of not motivating, but i wasn't causin' enough trouble to get thrown on the floor either.  i was pretty much compliant at that point, but i just wouldn't motivate or talk in group.  i hadn't been writing an M.I. since i got back to the program.( see a related story: "A Small Victory")
     The host parents thought they could break me by denying me food.  That night they told me that i wouldn't be allowed to eat anything until my M.I. was done.  Little did they suspect that i had been in the desert tempering my strength by the hand of God. I accepted those conditions as an opportunity to make the timeless gesture of abstaining from food as a form of protest.  Maybe as an expression of captivity i would rather not eat.  Maybe when eating is more demoralizing and leaching than the sustainence is otherwise worth it is better not to eat.  As the truth unfolds i sat there and refused to write or eat that night  While everyone else, around me was writing and eating.
     i knew the host parents had played into my hand.  i knew they were blatently breaking the basic laws of human rights.  The next day in group i reported the incident, probably to some sympathetic 5th phaser.  I heard there was a lot of heavy confronting going on in parent group over the whole thing.  Those ignorant host-parents must 'a' got blasted for leaving an opening for a law suit from a 1st phaser.  
     i knew i had some power,there, after i refused to write or eat that night. i was young and inexperienced though, and i didn't know what to do next.  i should 'a' sued as soon as possible or even filed criminal charges.  If i would 'a' had access to legal counsel i could 'a' carried the fight to a whole 'notha level.
     Just last year or so my folks were visiting me and for some reason felt compelled to pass on information about those same host-parents.  As if i would be concerned to know that the people who held me hostage and tried to manipulte/brainwash me and were willing to exploit my hunger to acomplish their crimes, were doing well and still making money.  Well, actually i forgive them now but i don't want to be around them and i don't like the idea of them still being in contact with my folks like that.  That's fucked up.  
i think my own naivete is beginning to dawn on me.  All this time i thought my parents just made a mistake by putting me in straight.  But now i am beginning to see a clear and established pattern of a serious lack of judgement on their part.
     Dedicated: in the honor of hunger strikers everywhere.  The list of martyrs is endless.
[ This Message was edited by: starry-eyed pirate on 2005-05-26 14:11 ]

i dream i'm in straight, not all the time but damn 'nuff.  There's been some strange insight come out of it, the dreamin' i mean.  Straight come to represent so much heavy weight.  Even in dreams straight does not always, only represent itself but sometimes is a symbol of the social authorities,which straight is only a smaller copy of.  Know what i'm sayin'?
       i used to have dreams that relived my time in there.  Now i dream that i'm the age i am now and often times find myself doing or saying the things i really wanted to do and say at the time.  Sometimes in my dreams i'm confronting exec. staff members who i thought were particularly sadistic.  Sometimes i dream i'm standing up in group just telling the group to see whats happening, how we're all being controlled 'n' all. Sometimes crazier shit happens. A repression like that before i never knew. Straight has become an archetype in my consciousness.  i dream that i'm either fighting it or runnin' from it.  Sometimes i dream of people i knew in there.  Sometimes they're ghosts.

yeah. :skull:

When i get high it's like the linear train i'm on jumps the railtrax and flys across the ravine, severing connections to ordinary, waking consciousness.  Suddenly i see relationships between things that i never noticed before.  My awareness changes forms and my consciuosness shifts.
     At some point after Thoreau wrote "Civil Disobedience" The part where he's talking about how he refused to pay his poll tax and so the law locked him up:
       

     "as i stood considering the walls of solid stone, 2 or 3 feet thick, the door of wood and iron grating which strained the light, i could not help being struck with the foolishness of that institution which treated me as if i were mere flesh and blood and bones to be locked up...   ...i could not but smile to see how industriously thet locked the door on my meditations, which followed them out again without let or hindrance, and they were really all that was dangerous."

       So some time after Thoreau wrote that, the authorities figured out that they could give you the illusion that you are free while all the while caging your meditations.  Really i think it was all that shit in the sixties that taught authority, and the government how to more subtlely and efficiently oppress freedom.  The "foolish institution"  desired absolute control and so it had to "wise up" and resort to more subtle yet oppressive measures. It realized that in order to repress any  new ideas, that might be threatening, that might be coming up, from the youth and/or any original thinker, that kidnap and brainwash would protect the status quo.  The "System" realized that in order to avoid the type of Socio-politico, de-stableization threat that emerged from the youth and the cities during the 1960s and 70s that they would have to jail meditations; they would create special institutions targetting the constitutionally rightless, they would violate the sacred spaces of the minds of the young. Sowing the mind with the seed of oppression


      Straight is such an institution.  It is a criminal institution.  It's purpose is to protect the capitalist establishment and prey on the rights of the individual. The crime is in the violation and usurpation of the mind.  It was like being retsrained and forced to look into a blinding light.  Even today it is like trying to look into the blinding light.  The crime is in the unconsented to, re-directing of the aim of the life. It is in the psychic labotomizing of the youth.  
      Straight changed the course of my life, against my will, and there is a life i will not live.  Straight are the liable criminals.  Fuck Authority. The prison is all around.  the jail is on the outside.  Straight is a microcosim of the social power structure that oppresses the world.  You and i have fought on the front lines of the war for an end to mental slavery.  "None but ourselves can free our minds" --Bob Marley and the Wailers, "Redemption Song".

      " With words they try to jail ya " -- The Police, "Spirits in The Material World"

          :skull:  :skull:  :skull:


          If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.[ This Message was edited by: starry-eyed pirate on 2005-05-19 17:37 ][ This Message was edited by: starry-eyed pirate on 2005-05-20 12:44 ]

Wes,
     i remember you, this is todd e.  Remember when we briefly crossed paths, in the parking lot, at the Dead show at R.F.K.?  i think it was '90.  i see that your post is a couple of years old but i hope you get my messege.  It's good to know that you're still alive.  i hope you're doing alright. Check my profile to e-mail me.  PEACE.

Hi Mark,
     i remember you quite well, yeah, that place sucked.  How are you doin' these days?