Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

To the anonymous person who made this statement on 8/5-------"Those of us who's lives have been changed and saved will forever stand as witnesses to the true benifits of the program, after all it's not program jargon that life is based on results it truly is, ask any ceo, doctor, lawyer, or any employer for that matter and you will see. Even ask God himself, like surely is based on results, and those of us who are sucesful are much more believable that you."-----

From one whose life was almost completely destroyed by Straight, I will forever stand witness to the true destruction inflicted by programs upon children, the programs that use abuse, humiliation, coercion, intimidation, threats, and brainwashing. After all, program jargon and lies fill the pockets of program CEO's/Administrators everywhere, all the while misrepresenting their so-called results on unsuspecting vulnerable parents. Ask any Straight or other coercive program survivor, who come from all walks of life, some of which are former counselors, lawyers and other "successful" people as you call it....

As for your assertion that successful people are much more believable than us, program survivors...hmmm if your theory is right, then a Straight Survivor who also happens to be a successful lawyer, who would verify every horrifying detail about program abuses, coercion, humilition, etc., would make a more credible and believable "witness" than you or any of your programmed, program loving sucessful friends? Ya think???

Just for the record, true credibility has nothing to do with success or career achievements, a person is credible merely by their commitment to reveal the TRUTH of their experience! And by MY definition, NOT YOURS, any program survivor is a credible witness to the horrors and emotional aftermath of these programs.

I agree...a huge piece of many "troubled kids" is lack of parental attention so kids feel neglected and unimportant....but since most parents refuse to see themselves as part of the problem...the idea might not fly with most parents...but then again...who knows...sometimes great ideas just take enough people thinking the same thing at the same time, who are all willing to nourish the idea until it becomes reality...

BTW, speaking of people thinking the same thing at the same time... I know of one Delinquency Magistrate in a juvenile court who requires parental involvement by making them parties to a complaint against any child. In other words, this Magistrate understands that parents are part of the problem and have to be part of the solution.

A thought....Maybe add mediation (this is not a therapist!)to it....a neutral person along for the ride, or is close by and accessible, who does and says nothing until inevitibly tensions arise...its a technique used in some Juvenile Courts to help the problem solving along when families cant seem to communicate anymore without being at each other's throats...although mediator's can make suggestions, the idea of it is to encourage parents and children to find their own solutions. This still keeps them out of stranger's hands, which is one of the reason's its being used to keep the JJ system out whenever possible.

Mediation might be impractical, and not what you are thinking...but since it just hit me, I thought I'd throw it out there, because camping trips might not help if all a family's communication ability has completely broken down.

BUT, I do think there's something to your idea.... ::rainbow::  ::rainbow::

Oops, I forgot to use my user name...the previous, extremely long post about mentoring in the JJ system was from me, nonconformistlaw. :smile:

I agree with every word 100%. I just wanted to add one thing to what Deborah said.

---"When they got older I?d give them 5 minutes to spout off every nasty, mean thing they were thinking. Every single thing they resented me for. No holds barred. No resentment. When they were done letting off steam (letting me know what a shit I was), they?d return to their normal reasonable selves, capable of having a discussion or negotiating. I didn?t require an apology, but most times got one."---

I've done this exact same thing myself as a mentor, except that I dont limit the time ---I give them as long as they need, especially with the ones I mentored in juvenile detention centers. I think its effective because kids get to express/vent anger. And, by allowing the child to rant on and on for a while...someone is finally listening to them, showing them respect and validating their feelings....Kids constantly complain that adults wont listen to anything they have to say. And to a large extent, they are often right, that no one is listening. So, by listening to their anger and various rantings, I'm convinced that most kids become a lot more willing to listen to the adult, because its mutual cooperation, without coercion.

That said, some kids just are not interested in being reached in any way, period. And that is their choice. But showing genuine interest in kids, their anger, frustrations, pain, etc, can go a long way, for those who are interested in being reached.

Anyway, I agree that this kind of venting/validation should be a huge part of therapy, parent/child relationships, friendships, heck all relationships! ::rainbow::

I decided, since there are apparently two lawyers around here, I should go by some kind of name to avoid being mistaken for KareninDallas, which I am definitely not! :exclaim:, which are very good questions by the way. I?d love to see independent research on those issues as well.