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Messages - Hedge

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16
The Troubled Teen Industry / Re: Were You in a "Troubled Teen Program"?
« on: October 15, 2010, 10:07:37 PM »
Hi.

I was in a troubled teen program run by Three Springs called New Beginnings in Owens Cross Roads, AL.

I have written about my experiences there in another thread on this forum: http://http://www.fornits.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=72&t=31043

Please feel free to ask any questions you might have, either publicly or in private message.

Hedge

17
The Melting Pot / Re: The No Soft Drink Challenge
« on: October 06, 2010, 01:40:28 PM »
Yes! The horrible things in the bathroom is what happens because your body can't process the protein!

I love wasabi peas too. My desk drawer is empty without them.


So: today I did a "creature of habit" thing: when I went to my favorite spot for veggie dogs downtown, I got a diet soda. (At least it's a diet orange cream, so I didn't blow it for my usual b.s.  :roflmao: )

Number of diet sodas since start of challenge: 1

18
The Melting Pot / Re: The No Soft Drink Challenge
« on: October 05, 2010, 03:16:51 PM »
I like protein shakes, too. I read somewhere that the body can only process about 20 grams of protein at a time, so I try to space it out if I have one that has lots in it.

I like Ensure, too, even though it's expensive. So easy to grab a bottle and head out the door.

(I haven't had a soda with sugar in years - Diet Coke is my drink of choice. I think it's worth trying to give up or limit artificial sweeteners though!)

19
The Melting Pot / Re: The No Soft Drink Challenge
« on: October 05, 2010, 03:06:41 PM »
Good for you, Che!

I've made it a day and a half.

I have a 12 pack of Coke Zero at home though... It'll keep forever though, so I'm going to resist temptation. :D

20
Three Springs / Re: My experience at Three Springs New Beginnings
« on: October 03, 2010, 07:08:27 PM »
I am crossposting this from another thread: http://http://www.fornits.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=31299&start=45#p381541

I've gone into detail about my experiences in another thread. I attended Three Springs in 1997 and 1998.
But here is a quick list of the abuses that were most obviously against the law:
* Sexual abuse. My roommate was sexually abused by a staff member. I would pretend to be asleep when he would come in at night. Another girl was sexually abused by another staff member.
* Physical abuse. Kids were beaten, usually during the "restraint" process, since the physicality of the restraint worked well for covering it up as accidental. I was beaten as a direct consequence for reporting abuse, in an incident involving two staff members and one peer.
* Deprivation of food. Food at the group home was severely rationed, and we ran out on many occasions, with no possibility of getting other food until the next week. (Not even stale peanut butter sandwiches.)

For a more thorough list, here are a list of violations against the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child committed by Three Springs. (The full document can be found at http://http://www2.ohchr.org/english/law/crc.htm.)
Quote
Article 9, Statement 3: States Parties shall respect the right of the child who is separated from one or both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis, except if it is contrary to the child's best interests.
I was not permitted to speak to either of my parents upon admission to Three Springs. It was not in my best interests to have contact with my father other than by letter, but contact with my mother remained restricted.
Quote
Article 13, Statement 1: The child shall have the right to freedom of expression; this right shall include freedom to seek, receive and impart information and ideas of all kinds, regardless of frontiers, either orally, in writing or in print, in the form of art, or through any other media of the child's choice.
Noncom/bans is an infringement on this right. Freedom of expression is a right, freedom of choosing one’s own library books is a right, access to writing materials is a right: all of which were broken.
Quote
Article 14, Statement 1: States Parties shall respect the right of the child to freedom of thought, conscience and religion.
The only religion we had access to was monthly visits by a local church, who would lead worship songs. Our lack of freedom of thought has been discussed elsewhere on Fornits with more eloquence than I have on the subject.
Quote
Article 15, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the rights of the child to freedom of association and to freedom of peaceful assembly.
Noncom, again, violates this right.
Quote
Article 16, Statement 1 and 2:  No child shall be subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy, family, or correspondence, nor to unlawful attacks on his or her honour and reputation. The child has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.
Censorship of letters, hanging up the phone when “inappropriate/manipulative” things were said on the telephone, and being watched in the shower are all violations of this right.
Quote
Article 19, Statement 1: States Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social and educational measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or exploitation, including sexual abuse, while in the care of parent(s), legal guardian(s) or any other person who has the care of the child.
No matter how many times the staff supervisor was reported as physically abusing children, he was never suspended or fired. The lack of food in the group home was ongoing.
Quote
Article 20, Statement 1: A child temporarily or permanently deprived of his or her family environment, or in whose own best interests cannot be allowed to remain in that environment, shall be entitled to special protection and assistance provided by the State.
Because children who are no longer with their parents are considered a specially protected group, there should be more, not less, regulation of the institutions that house them. The lack of ability to report abuse without consequence violated this right.
Quote
Article 24, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the right of the child to the enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of health and to facilities for the treatment of illness and rehabilitation of health. States Parties shall strive to ensure that no child is deprived of his or her right of access to such health care services.
We did not have regular health care. Another girl who attended Three Springs with me needed an operation but did not receive it. She continues to suffer consequences of that medical neglect.
Quote
Article 25: States Parties recognize the right of a child who has been placed by the competent authorities for the purposes of care, protection or treatment of his or her physical or mental health, to a periodic review of the treatment provided to the child and all other circumstances relevant to his or her placement.
Some of the kids placed at Three Springs had been there for years without treatment review by an outside authority. I did not have contact with my social worker or lawyer even once during my time at Three Springs.
Quote
Article 27, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the right of every child to a standard of living adequate for the child's physical, mental, spiritual, moral and social development.
Lack of nutrition, physical and sexual abuse, little to no education, all violate this right.
Quote
Article 31, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the right of the child to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child and to participate freely in cultural life and the arts.
This one made me almost laugh. We had no television. We had no crafts. We had a small amount of “outside time.” We had no access to music. Cultural life and the arts? Are you kidding me?
Quote
Article 32, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the right of the child to be protected from economic exploitation and from performing any work that is likely to be hazardous or to interfere with the child's education, or to be harmful to the child's health or physical, mental, spiritual, moral or social development.
Cleaning up another person’s shit smeared all over the walls and floors of an isolation room with inadequate cleaning materials was certainly hazardous to our health.
Quote
Article 37b: (b) No child shall be deprived of his or her liberty unlawfully or arbitrarily. The arrest, detention or imprisonment of a child shall be in conformity with the law and shall be used only as a measure of last resort and for the shortest appropriate period of time;
For many children, our imprisonment in Three Springs was not a measure of last resort, and no one was there for the shortest appropriate period of time. Years in a locked treatment facility is not the shortest appropriate period of time for any adolescent who has not committed a crime.
Quote
Article 37c: (c) Every child deprived of liberty shall be treated with humanity and respect for the inherent dignity of the human person, and in a manner which takes into account the needs of persons of his or her age. In particular, every child deprived of liberty shall be separated from adults unless it is considered in the child's best interest not to do so and shall have the right to maintain contact with his or her family through correspondence and visits, save in exceptional circumstances;
Visits and correspondence were “privileges” that could be taken away, rather than rights that were upheld.
Quote
Article 37d: (d) Every child deprived of his or her liberty shall have the right to prompt access to legal and other appropriate assistance, as well as the right to challenge the legality of the deprivation of his or her liberty before a court or other competent, independent and impartial authority, and to a prompt decision on any such action.
I did not have the ability to contact my lawyer, as the communication restrictions were in place. Theoretically, if she had contacted me, I could have had uncensored communication with her, but that never happened. My inability to contact her violated this right.
Quote
Article 39: States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to promote physical and psychological recovery and social reintegration of a child victim of: any form of neglect, exploitation, or abuse; torture or any other form of cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment; or armed conflicts. Such recovery and reintegration shall take place in an environment which fosters the health, self-respect and dignity of the child.
Most of the children placed at Three Springs had already been victims of sexual violence, or physical violence or neglect in the home. For us to receive more abuse from the people that were supposed to be protecting us damaged so many of us. When children are abused by people who claim to be acting in the interests of psychology, they impede the future ability of those children to seek and receive appropriate psychological help. This is, to me, the saddest way our rights were violated.

21
The Troubled Teen Industry / Re: Many Many Programs Abuse Kids
« on: October 03, 2010, 07:05:31 PM »
To get back on topic here...

I've gone into detail about my experiences in another thread. I attended Three Springs in 1997 and 1998.
But here is a quick list of the abuses that were most obviously against the law:

* Sexual abuse. My roommate was sexually abused by a staff member. I would pretend to be asleep when he would come in at night. Another girl was sexually abused by another staff member.
* Physical abuse. Kids were beaten, usually during the "restraint" process, since the physicality of the restraint worked well for covering it up as accidental. I was beaten as a direct consequence for reporting abuse, in an incident involving two staff members and one peer.
* Deprivation of food. Food at the group home was severely rationed, and we ran out on many occasions, with no possibility of getting other food until the next week. (Not even stale peanut butter sandwiches.)

For a more thorough list, here are a list of violations against the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child committed by Three Springs. (The full document can be found at http://http://www2.ohchr.org/english/law/crc.htm.)
Quote
Article 9, Statement 3: States Parties shall respect the right of the child who is separated from one or both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis, except if it is contrary to the child's best interests.
I was not permitted to speak to either of my parents upon admission to Three Springs. It was not in my best interests to have contact with my father other than by letter, but contact with my mother remained restricted.
Quote
Article 13, Statement 1: The child shall have the right to freedom of expression; this right shall include freedom to seek, receive and impart information and ideas of all kinds, regardless of frontiers, either orally, in writing or in print, in the form of art, or through any other media of the child's choice.
Noncom/bans is an infringement on this right. Freedom of expression is a right, freedom of choosing one’s own library books is a right, access to writing materials is a right: all of which were broken.
Quote
Article 14, Statement 1: States Parties shall respect the right of the child to freedom of thought, conscience and religion.
The only religion we had access to was monthly visits by a local church, who would lead worship songs. Our lack of freedom of thought has been discussed elsewhere on Fornits with more eloquence than I have on the subject.
Quote
Article 15, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the rights of the child to freedom of association and to freedom of peaceful assembly.
Noncom, again, violates this right.
Quote
Article 16, Statement 1 and 2:  No child shall be subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy, family, or correspondence, nor to unlawful attacks on his or her honour and reputation. The child has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.
Censorship of letters, hanging up the phone when “inappropriate/manipulative” things were said on the telephone, and being watched in the shower are all violations of this right.
Quote
Article 19, Statement 1: States Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social and educational measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or exploitation, including sexual abuse, while in the care of parent(s), legal guardian(s) or any other person who has the care of the child.
No matter how many times the staff supervisor was reported as physically abusing children, he was never suspended or fired. The lack of food in the group home was ongoing.
Quote
Article 20, Statement 1: A child temporarily or permanently deprived of his or her family environment, or in whose own best interests cannot be allowed to remain in that environment, shall be entitled to special protection and assistance provided by the State.
Because children who are no longer with their parents are considered a specially protected group, there should be more, not less, regulation of the institutions that house them. The lack of ability to report abuse without consequence violated this right.
Quote
Article 24, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the right of the child to the enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of health and to facilities for the treatment of illness and rehabilitation of health. States Parties shall strive to ensure that no child is deprived of his or her right of access to such health care services.
We did not have regular health care. Another girl who attended Three Springs with me needed an operation but did not receive it. She continues to suffer consequences of that medical neglect.
Quote
Article 25: States Parties recognize the right of a child who has been placed by the competent authorities for the purposes of care, protection or treatment of his or her physical or mental health, to a periodic review of the treatment provided to the child and all other circumstances relevant to his or her placement.
Some of the kids placed at Three Springs had been there for years without treatment review by an outside authority. I did not have contact with my social worker or lawyer even once during my time at Three Springs.
Quote
Article 27, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the right of every child to a standard of living adequate for the child's physical, mental, spiritual, moral and social development.
Lack of nutrition, physical and sexual abuse, little to no education, all violate this right.
Quote
Article 31, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the right of the child to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child and to participate freely in cultural life and the arts.
This one made me almost laugh. We had no television. We had no crafts. We had a small amount of “outside time.” We had no access to music. Cultural life and the arts? Are you kidding me?
Quote
Article 32, Statement 1: States Parties recognize the right of the child to be protected from economic exploitation and from performing any work that is likely to be hazardous or to interfere with the child's education, or to be harmful to the child's health or physical, mental, spiritual, moral or social development.
Cleaning up another person’s shit smeared all over the walls and floors of an isolation room with inadequate cleaning materials was certainly hazardous to our health.
Quote
Article 37b: (b) No child shall be deprived of his or her liberty unlawfully or arbitrarily. The arrest, detention or imprisonment of a child shall be in conformity with the law and shall be used only as a measure of last resort and for the shortest appropriate period of time;
For many children, our imprisonment in Three Springs was not a measure of last resort, and no one was there for the shortest appropriate period of time. Years in a locked treatment facility is not the shortest appropriate period of time for any adolescent who has not committed a crime.
Quote
Article 37c: (c) Every child deprived of liberty shall be treated with humanity and respect for the inherent dignity of the human person, and in a manner which takes into account the needs of persons of his or her age. In particular, every child deprived of liberty shall be separated from adults unless it is considered in the child's best interest not to do so and shall have the right to maintain contact with his or her family through correspondence and visits, save in exceptional circumstances;
Visits and correspondence were “privileges” that could be taken away, rather than rights that were upheld.
Quote
Article 37d: (d) Every child deprived of his or her liberty shall have the right to prompt access to legal and other appropriate assistance, as well as the right to challenge the legality of the deprivation of his or her liberty before a court or other competent, independent and impartial authority, and to a prompt decision on any such action.
I did not have the ability to contact my lawyer, as the communication restrictions were in place. Theoretically, if she had contacted me, I could have had uncensored communication with her, but that never happened. My inability to contact her violated this right.
Quote
Article 39: States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to promote physical and psychological recovery and social reintegration of a child victim of: any form of neglect, exploitation, or abuse; torture or any other form of cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment; or armed conflicts. Such recovery and reintegration shall take place in an environment which fosters the health, self-respect and dignity of the child.
Most of the children placed at Three Springs had already been victims of sexual violence, or physical violence or neglect in the home. For us to receive more abuse from the people that were supposed to be protecting us damaged so many of us. When children are abused by people who claim to be acting in the interests of psychology, they impede the future ability of those children to seek and receive appropriate psychological help. This is, to me, the saddest way our rights were violated.

22
The Melting Pot / Re: The No Soft Drink Challenge
« on: October 03, 2010, 05:32:44 PM »
This is a neat idea. I haven't had a non-diet soda in a long time, but I do wonder about the artificial sweeteners...

This post has been written with a diet coke in hand. But I will definitely consider giving it a go!

23
The Troubled Teen Industry / Re: Whooter and the hotlines
« on: September 30, 2010, 03:08:46 PM »
Quote from: "Whooter"
Abuse occurs so infrequently that I dont believe that this would become a requirement even understate or federal regulation.

Neither you nor I are qualified to speak about the frequency of abuse. Please feel free to visit http://http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics for more information about how often child abuse is reported in the United States. We can safely assume that not all child abuse is reported, so those numbers are baselines. Neither of us can say "my experience was X, so it must be that everyone experiences X." Not every child in every facility was abused because I was. But if you were not abused, or you know of someone who wasn't abused, this does not decrease the likelihood that many children are, and were.

And actually, there is already a relevant federal regulation in place: a law called "mandatory reporting." Every single staff member who witnessed abuse but did not report it to the local authorities is in violation of the law.

For reference, here is a brief description of what minimum definitions for child abuse is, in the United States.

Quote from: "Susan K. Smith, Attorney at Law (see below for link)"
"CAPTA mandates  "minimum definitions" for child abuse and sexual abuse. Child abuse or neglect is any recent act or failure to act:

Resulting in imminent risk of serious harm, death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation

Of a child (usually a person under the age of 18, but a younger age may be specified in cases not involving sexual abuse)

By a parent or caretaker who is responsible for the child's welfare"

http://http://www.smith-lawfirm.com/mandatory_reporting.htm


So, there should not even be a need for kids to report abuse directly to the authorities - the staff members are required by law to do the reporting if they witness abuse, or if a child mentions abuse or neglect. For details about the specific punishments for not following this law by state, please visit http://http://www.rainn.org/public-policy/legal-resources/mandatory-reporting-database.

But, as several people have confirmed, their experiences were also that they were blocked from making abuse reports to anyone outside the facility (and I detailed the joke that reporting abuse within the facility can be). We might hope and envision that kids would be encouraged to make reports when abuse takes place so that every child should be safe. Because that is theoretically the job of the facility: keeping kids safe.

24
The Troubled Teen Industry / Whooter and the hotlines
« on: September 30, 2010, 01:34:39 AM »
Well, shit.

I just spent a significant amount of time writing a post, off and on, which got lost when I tried to submit it and it said I wasn't signed in any more.

So, here was my main point, it was re: Whoot and the hotlines comment.

1. We've already established that kids don't have uncensored phone access. (Whoot said that was because kids would manipulate their way out of programs, in general; while in my program, specifically, we weren't allowed phone access because the facility had quite a bit invested in not letting abuse reports get out.)
2. Kids don't have the ability to send letters without censorship.
3. Many kids don't have visitors, so lack even the opportunity to tell someone face-to-face.

So what kids are left with is a "grievance process." This is taken seriously in some places, such as some recovery-oriented facilities I have come across as an adult. But in the place where I was as a child, it was on the books for show.

It went something like this:

Step one: Beg for a grievance form. Get denied it many times. Get allowed access to the form when another staff member who might be pro-accountability is present.
Step two: Turn in the grievance form to a lower-level staff member. Who is abusing you. But if they aren't abusing you, it gets turned over to...
Step three: The staff supervisor. Who, in my case, was the worst perpetrator of physical abuse in the facility.

Step four, which you almost never get to because your grievances line trash cans and shredders: Call the facility main office. Which you can't do without the phone being disconnected for mentioning the abuse.


So, my point was to clarify - it seemed like Whoot didn't understand how a kid could be placed in a situation of reporting abuse to their abuser. There it is, and I'm sending it before I get cut off again.

Hedge

25
Quote from: "DannyB II"
What I would like to discuss is the parents exclusively, there involvement leading up to the placement day. The relationship between the parents and the child, what went on, what is going on and overall how did the decision come about.
So there are probably several topics to choose from, I did this on purpose so hopefully this thread will not be easily de-railed. Especially when posting becomes contentious.
Examples of topics;
1. Parents being neglectful- abandoning their child
2. Parents being overwhelmed- feeling of hopeless, scared, not knowing what to do
3. Parents being tired of being parents- drug addictions/alcohol, divorce, boyfriends and girlfriends
4. Parents being manipulated by programs- gullible or tricked
5. Parents being incapable of being parents- emotional/mental issues, physical issues, financial issues
6. Parents not being able to control child-  Child with severe emotional/ mental handi-caps, ei; severe bi-polar, ADHD, autism, violent personality disorder, rebellion issues, severe drug and alcohol use, truancy....ect.

Why are so many parents placing there kids in various programs. I believe some of the reasons are above, if not what say you.


I know that you mentioned parents exclusively, but in my case, I also had a guardian ad litem, so I will include her briefly as well.


As we're likely to find in most situations, it wasn't a single factor involved, but many, interwoven.



1. My parents willingly signed custody of me over to the authorities. While I believe they were doing this on the best advice they had at the time, it is still abandonment.

2. Absolutely my parents were overwhelmed. They didn't know how to cope with my suicidal behavior any more than I did, which is unfortunate but I think it was the nature of the beast in my case.

3. Contributing to my parents' feeling of overwhelm was their impending divorce.

4. I wanted to include my guardian ad litem here, because if we assume she was not taking kick backs from the facility (since that conjecture was not proven one way or another since she just vanished after finding the placement), she honestly believed it would be a better alternative placement for me.

5. My mother was heavily into her drug and alcohol at the time as well, so she didn't have the mental or emotional resources to cope with my behavior as well.

6. As I mentioned earlier in this list, my suicidal behavior was out of control. I couldn't control it, behavior contracts couldn't control it, and multiple hospitalizations couldn't deter it.



So, I guess the answer is: "Yes." I was pretty much screwed.

26
Let It Bleed / Re: Stuff you've been listening to
« on: September 23, 2010, 11:09:44 PM »
The Tragically Hip, Yer Favourites

27
The Troubled Teen Industry / Re: ? is Abuse in the Troubled Teen Industry
« on: September 23, 2010, 08:34:01 PM »
Quote from: "Whooter"
Quote from: "none-ya"
Quote
Whooter wrote;
"If someone is raped in a McDonalds that doesn't make all McDonalds abusive. Do you see what I mean?"


That's a ridiculous comparison.  Mcdonalds is responsible to providing a safe eating enviorment.They spend plenty on security and insurance to cover thier asses. Even though thier menu is a little on the tough love side is another story!


McDonalds spends very little on Security and their background checks are minimal.  How many times do you see security detail inside McDonalds.  Ronald isnt exactly a black belt.  You mention insurance,  they spend plenty on insurance to offset the lawsuits that are brought against them.  Paying high premiums doesnt equate to safety, None-ya, its just the opposite.



...

McDonalds isn't in charge of providing adequate care and education to adolescents, however.

If I agree to petsit your dog, and then beat it or starve it, I am responsible for the harm done to that dog because I caused it directly.

If I agree to petsit your dog, and let my cousin beat it or starve it with my knowledge, I am responsible for the harm done to that dog because it was my responsibility to prevent it.

In that way, facilities are responsible for the abuse that goes on in them. I don't know how it could be more simple.

28
The Troubled Teen Industry / Re: Program Haiku: How was it for you?
« on: September 23, 2010, 05:25:08 PM »
We went in as kids
Who needed help, not abuse
Few came out okay

29
The Melting Pot / 252: a story in emoticons
« on: September 23, 2010, 05:18:51 PM »
2    :on phone:  :on phone:
5    :lala:  :lala:  :lala:  :lala:  :lala:
2    :timeout:  :cheers:

30
The Melting Pot / 251.
« on: September 23, 2010, 05:15:32 PM »
251        :jamin:

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