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Messages - exhausted

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No family, no support Covergaard, that's why I'm struggling so much

I'd love to be able to do what you sugggest as on the rare occasion I do have either of my boys to myself, we get on really well and have a good time, and you are so right, they have me outnumbered, they're rude and nasty, spiteful and abusive towards me because they have each other for back up, knowing I have no one to turn to

it has taken me 2 hours to stop both my boys being abusive towards me for saying it was time to get to bed, I have been called everything under the sun and as always accused of moaning at them for simply saying it was time for bed, ffs

:-? Are you for real? I'm not taking your word for it just cos you offer a 25% discount, not even iof you offer it for free - not that I've taken what you say seriously, you're just trying to dig at me, you'l have to try harder, I've met & beaten bigger & better than you all my life

MGDP - Lon can refer me to someone in this country if he knows of anyone, there's no harm in that, I would obviously be there and no-one will manipulate me into sending my boys away, no program is going to help a child who has a disorder, disorders simply cannot be unlearnt - I had this conversation with our village cop tonight, he was going on about the boys learning to behave, some people just don't get it, they can't learn not to be ADHD anymore than another person can learn not to be blind......the fact I'm not that easily manipulated also helps

I'm going to say this one more time, this time I want you to read and digest - I AM NOT SENDING MY BOYS AWAY, NOT IN THIS COUNTRY, NOT IN ANY COUNTRY!!!

Now I've cleared that up, understand one thing, my boys not coming in at night is nothing to do with the way they are treated at home, they have a very good life here, it is due to the fact that they want their own way, they are behaving like brats, there are rules in this house such as going to bed at a reasonable time, getting up and going to school, NOT smoking in the house, not drinking in the house, not swearing at and attacking me physically & emmotionally, nothing abnormal, the same as any other household rules, my boys want to disregard these rules, therefore they stay out in order to do so, if you are suggesting I let them do all of the things just to keep them indoors and keep them happy, then you are seriously out of line.

I am not interested in wether you think Lon Woodbury is a psycho kiddy killer or wether you think Struggling Teens posters are the devil himself, I am there for support and I get it, I am here to find out what runs through the minds of teens who have or are still struggling, so i can get an insight as to how I can help my boys by gaining a better understanding of them, their feelings and their thoughts

The parents of teens who go through a rough time are victims as well, it is hard on us and we often don't cope very well, if the main parent can't get support and help, what good is she to the family she is supposed to be helping? Give me a break will you? I am trying so hard to work all of this out to help my kids work it out, it would be far easier for me to walk away and lead a stress free happy life believe me, but I choose not to, because I want to fight for them .... jees as if I don't get enough crap from the people who are meant to help in real life without getting it from those who you would have thought would understand the situation a little better.

The Troubled Teen Industry / 63 days
« on: December 06, 2006, 03:52:37 PM »
I'll never find out most of what happened here, i can't read it, it's made me feel sick  :cry:

Okay point taken

Mine pick their nose in private nowadays as it's embarassing to be caught at their age  :lol:

Quote from: ""Three Springs Waygookin""
A word of caution to Exhausted. I am at least glad to see you seeking out answers for your questions. However, becareful to not end up publishing the life stories of your children on fornits.

We call that doing a "Leslie" on your kids.

So far you have done well to stick with the bare essential details. Really the rest of this is up to competent medical professionals. I would further encourage you to consider seeking out further suggestions and support via the PM function.

Should you want to talk with people in a real time environment I am sure some here would not mind chatting with you on either MSN, Yahoo, AIM, or whatever it is that they use.

Please whatever you do don't stop posting. However, balance your need to post with the respect for the privacy of your children.

Thank You.
Do you feel I've gone too far?

The reason I post these things is because I don't want to ask for help on any forum without giving the full details, but I will take on board what you say about keeping it between me & the psychologist, if I ever get to see one!
The 12 year old sees one who is involved in his Ritolin intake, weighing him, blood pressure etc, but we don't get any therapy at all, which is a little surprising

Anyway none of us need to worry anymore, we have all been so blind, our problems are solved, we are glib, all we need as humans are vitamins and exercise  8)

Agreed on the MRI, that's another thing I have wanted done for a very long time, I do believe however I can ony get that done through a private doctor, and guess what? I have to have a referal from my GP for it *thud* My neighbour has just had one done for her 20 yr old son, there was some pretty scary shit going on with brain discharges or something, i didn't fully understand it (guess i had to be there)
I will follow that up & see what I can do about it

Yes I do work, I always have, I gave up my office job to become self employed so that I can fit work in around the kids, well two of them are kids, the 17 yr old works herself and goes to college and the 19 yr old isn't a kid, i work from home mainly and also teach IT to beginners.

And thank you for the links to Valium and pregnancy - wel that pretty much confirms my fears, not that the GP will listen but I will print out as much as I can to give to him in the hope he doesn't just bin it and actually takes me seriously, I always knew there wasn't something quite right about Valium and pregnancy, dammit why did I take it?

The Troubled Teen Industry / I want to confront this Exhausted person.
« on: December 05, 2006, 04:56:59 PM »
Thank you oh holy one

Did you know that you should turn the other cheek?
Did you also ever understand the concept of 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone'?

I will be sure to take confession over this, I'm sure 10 hail Mary's will bring my partner back from the dead and undo the fact that we weren't married before having children yep yep yep

Btw, God is all forgiving, i forgot to mention that

have a nice day  :D

The Troubled Teen Industry / I want to confront this Exhausted person.
« on: December 05, 2006, 04:38:35 PM »

NEXT !!!

Three Springs - the police have told me to stop claling them every time the boys run away as they are not my babysitters and to get off my arse and look for them myself, I have been greeted like this on many occassions so have stopped caling them, when they call me to ask if I will act as an appropriate adult after they arrest them, I tell them to get stuffed, we do not have the greatest relationship

:o My boys are downstairs paying a game and laughing  :o  :o  :o

Quote from: ""Milk Gargling Death Penal""
Now I'm curious what these kids physically look like.

Because I'm starting to have a suspicion...

If that suspicion is correct, there's organic brain damage and there isn't much you can do.
Now you're talking my language!

I didn't drink then either, I have been down the FAS route when I heard about it a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't quite sure what it really meant, it was explained to me and then I felt a prat lol! I didn't know kids have a physical appearance cojnected with this as the person who mentioned it is very experienced in these matters and knows my boys

However.....I have always (right from when they were babies had a sneaking suspicion something was wrong, mainly the 14 yr old concerned me greatly, didn't sit up, roll over, take any notice of lights and twinkly things, you know the sort of stuff, my mum asked me if he had floppy infant syndrome way back then....I think she's a fruitcase so ignored her, BUT, if anyone knows anythihng about the effect of Diazepam on the fetus and what happens later on in life, I'd really like to hear from you! I saw a television program many years ago about a girl whose mother had taken it during the pregnancy and her daughter was almost vegetated by her early 20's - I have always been convinced it does some damage to the brain in some way, in fact i brought this very thing up with my doctor last night, but he dismisses ADHD as being an actual condition so he wasn't having any of it, I am convinced this may be the problem, I would never have taken it if I'd known it could cause any affect, funny because I didn't smoke, drink, even take a painkiller during pregnancy & yet I trusted the GP to continue prescribing Diazepam
Does anyone know of any research about this? Or have anything that could confirm my suspicions (I can't find anything on the net)

JSYK I wasn't taking Diazepam when pregnant with the 19 yr old or the 17 yr old

Me again, this time logging in succesfully as Exhausted, how embarrassing, I'm an IT tutor  :oops:

Okkay everything I've read so far makes sense, everything, all of it

I have been down the route of giving my 19 yr old every opportunity to clean up his act , so have many other people, he simply doesn't want to know, so it's time for him to go, he is an abusive drunk, as I've banned him from stepping foot in the house wiht a drink inside him, he's now started sneaking it in, like I can't smell it on his breath? he got really abusive last night on vodka (again) I simply cannot carry him financially, emmotionally and physically any more, he has to go it alone and as has been said, decide on his won path, although he sopends alot of time telling me I'm not  anormal mother if I ask him to pick up the rubbish he strews all over the house or bring his laundry down etc, normal mothers slave after their kids don;t you know?

I have just been to the mental health team today to get the results of my 13 yr olds tests, sadly he has the learning ability of a 6 year old, his concentration span is about 7 seconds and he has no life or comnmunication skills, so I'm waiting to find out where we go from here with this......he was diagnosed with ADHD on Jan 13th this year, was put on Concerta about 4 months later and the doseage has just been son is told daily that he is not thick, by me & his siblings, in fact he is really clevber, the block just hurtles in when putting what's in his brain down on paper, our Prime Minister was a dyslexic! (John Major - muppet)

While I was getting the results, the 14 yr old jumped through the window of the car and ran away again, so i have no idea where he is at this moment, the 13 yr old soon followed suit after we returned home ... it really scares me not knowing what they are doing and who they are with, wether they are committing some crime or smoking drugs whatever.

I assure you, no matter what the day brings, and believe me it's like this every day - I tell all 4 of my children every single night that I love them, I may not like what they do, but I love them and kiss them goodnight, that's if they decide to come in that night of course.

I do praise the 19 yr old, I always try to find something about them every day that has been good, this is often difficult because sometimes I have to look very hard for something, but I'll usually find something even if it's a small thing like taking their shoes off at the door or hanging their coat up - everyone needs to be told their not all bad all the time, even me....even when I want to throttle them, I'll say please and thankyou to them, why should they speak to me with respect if I can't do the same? I find this difficult though when I've just been called a psycho whore, I have to bite my lip and say "I don't appreciate being spoken to like that, now would you apologise to me for being so hurtful and disrespectful PLEASE" when they do I thank them, in reality I want to slap them straight in the mouth, but that's not how I deal with things.

Oh well same shit, different day, tomorrow will bring more of the same no doubt - but I will survive it as I have done so far, until I eventually crack under the strain - still, when it's me who's been put into a mental facility at least I'l get some peace & quiet!

Seriously - my friend who also has a child with ADHD has just sufggested that as I can't get any help from my GP that i should take the 14 yr old to the ER and insist that I've had to go there because I have nowehere left to turn and see if they can get a psychriatic assessment, take a short cut as it were, I may just do that when I next see him, something has to give.

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