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« on: November 28, 2010, 09:55:15 AM »
I remember spending 2 Christmas' in Straight. The thought about this topic came up last night while I helped my daughter put up a Christmas tree and decorate the front of the house.
Both of the Christmas' that I spent in Straight were not happy as I was away from my family. Sure my host parents were nice people, but they were not able to fulfill the viod in my life, which was the need to be with my family to have Christmas dinner, be part of looking for the christmas tree, decorating, and mainly be a part of the family.
From being in a program during the holidays especially it caused me to have a barrier that still exist in my life. I am not an anti-social person, but this time of year always triggers feelings and emotions for me. I have had people tell me to get over it and move on, but they do not understand how deeply this type of situation effects a person.
My first Christmas after I got out of the program I tried to do the family thing and it was ruined for me. Feelings of resentment for having been placed in the program dominated what should have been a happy thing. It seems that no matter how I try to get into the holiday spirit the program seems to have ruined it for me. I do however put on a plastic smile and act as if, but I know it is not real.
"Relate"