Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

"AR has saved our daughter's life, and is doing great work for many others. There's no brainwashing, no religious indoctrination at all (in fact, periodically our daughter's therapist offers to take her "team" to church...but only if they WANT to go, and to a fairly casual non-Mormon church.

They have patients/students that range from "troubled teens" with arrest records, kids with drug problems, girls who have become "cutters", kids who have suffered mental breakdowns due to trauma - I have not met one parent (and we go to "parent week" activities quarterly and make other, sometimes unnanounced, visits at other times) who just wanted to lock-up their child - and in most cases the parent/child relationship improves dramatically after the child has been there a few months.

Yes, there are rules; yes, there is security (a kid can't just run off); yes, there can be "level drops", but only for serious rulebreaking.

We also know a couple program "graduates" who we keep in contact with, and the parents have had nothing but praise for AR. There ARE things we think could be improved - in school, science labs are not available except through specialized mail-order kits, or through the local college (40-some miles away). It's worked out OK, but it would be better if they had something set up on-site. The food is pretty "institutional", but it's healthy stuff and they are bringing in more variety. And periodically the team therapist or another staff member will take a group of upper-level kids out to a restaurant as a treat.

You also all completely miss one of the key things about AR - the use of equine assisted psychotherapy. EAP has a well-established background and it is truly amazing how some of these "asphalt and sidewalk" kids develop wonderful relationships with the horses, which parallels well with human relationships. It's fascinating to see how the kids generally pick a horse as "theirs" (they all seem to gravitate to one primary horse) that has the same personality as themselves, and they quickly learn how it is to deal with themselves. The equine staff are our favorite people on the ranch, and a couple I'm sure will be lifelong friends.

The kids who really "get into" the horsemanship aspect are provided with weekend seminars in Salt Lake City or St. George in horse training, specialized care, etc...all at no fee to the parents. Our daughter has a certification now in training, which has already gotten her a 2-week job locally for her summer visit home, and may result in a permanent position while she goes to college.

Yeah, it's a load of brainwashing and mistreatment.

You naysayers are simply fools who have NO idea what you're talking about. A bunch of lemmings, just following the group.

FWIW we also know many local therapists who think highly of AR and also laugh at the negative notions. Several have visited the place as well.

But it's always entertaining discussing these things with people who have no clue. However, if ONE person wakes up and realizes the negative crap is a load of...well, crap...maybe another child can be helped."

......the Attorney General of Alberta  refused to take any action with regard to AARC.

He took no action because there was none to take.  These feelings you have are all in your head.  You cant hold someone responsible if they did nothing wrong.

Quote from: "Guest"

Speaking of wilderness programs and sex, it happens all the time... at least when I was there it did. Its not like they handed out condoms so I wouldn't be surprised if some of the girls go home from wilderness with a whole new set of issues brewing inside them. I never saw a wild tribe like orgy until I was in wilderness, and don't think the staff don't join in. Parents have no idea what happens out there, it was insane.

Thanks guest,I knew it wasnt as bad as people were saying here.  The kids do have fun on these trips, I kind of thought that.

Your welcome, my son really liked it and would like to become a counselor some day which has motivated him to study harder.

Apparently this post has raised some controversy so I thought I would explain vs just deleting it.  This was originally a "guest" post and not intended to communicate that I had a son in wilderness which I did not.  If you read the OP this woman was being bashed pretty hard for telling her story and people on fornits were calling her son gay and pretending to be in wilderness with her son.  I posted as a "guest" in support of her story hoping it would help balance the scales a bit which as I read back now I think it did.  Since I feel it was a good deed I would like to keep this post in tact.



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Any "therapy" said to take place at the Aspen Education Group gulags is " of a clandestine, undefined and unconfirmed nature." No Aspen Education Group gulag has EVER presented ANY authentication of the "therapy" they claim to offer, unlike even the most backwater and resource strained psychiatric hospital.

Nigel, Could you confirm this for us?  Is you sons therapist qualified and treating your son the same as his therapists prior to Aspen Ranch? or are they unlicensed like we hear on fornits.

How about you report it to the authorities, JD, and let us know what happens.  I reported it directly to the Alberta Health Minister, who has twice refused to acknowledge my complaint.  The previous Alberta Justice Minister responded to my complaints, three times insisting that it was Alberta Health that was responsible.  The fact that the Health Minister attended the last AARC gala may have something to do with the Ministry's refusal to act and perhaps not.  JD, I have serious doubts about your prognosticaton.  If you could predict the future with such accuracy, how did you end up killing your son?

No way,  I dont think he is breaking the law and either does the Alberta Justice Minister.  Its just you Ajax.  You might be able to convince the health minister that some of the directors are over weight!!
Is your son still acting out in school?  You should really let him speak to a counselor, even if it means you may lose him. You should put your child first and put the porn on the side burner at least when he is home.

There are obviously a lot of people on this forum that believe The Aspen Ranch (and programs like them) are terrible for kids.  I am still continuing to evaluate the whole thing.  My question to all of you is:  What should I have done instead?  To let you know what we did do: we had our son see pyschologists (he liked the one he was seeing, but not taking his advice).  We went to a psychiatrist.  My son agreed that he was depressed and wanted to try medication.  He stopped taking them in January and refused to see another psychiatrist.  We had teachers that my son liked try to talk to him, to no avail.  We had other family members step in----he listened to them and was polite, but he never took their advice.  He had basically failed out of school (he claims he saw no value in it), was running away and relying on pot and lsd and alcohol to get him through the day (this is what my son has said).  He claimed he was going to kill himself.  As I said before, he was not going to accept my advice or help (he claims I have no idea how he feels and that my advice sucks----our talks have been much more open the last couple of months, but he is still hurting big time and he hates the ranch).  Sending him to a relative is probably not realistic as I don't think any of my family is ready to take this on.  What would you have done if this was your son.  I am open to advice, as he will eventually be coming home and I have to have a game plan that my son will go along with.

Being in the program gave my daughter the time she needed to heal in a safe environment.  There were no options at home left that we had not tried.  Once she became accustomed to what was expected of her and that she could not break the rules without consequences she began to work on what was important which was herself.  She learned to speak openly about what was going on which opened up a whole new type of communication that I was not prepared for.  She became an incredible listener and engaged her mother and myself in conversations we never had before.......  Open conversations about her drug use, why she dropped out of school, the events leading up to being placed etc. which made laying the ground work for her transition home that much easier and apparent.

Nigel, the struggle you are seeing your son go through is normal as I compare it to what my daughter went thru (it is painful for both of you).  I think it is important that you listen to all the stories and advice here on fornits because programs are not effective for all kids.  Many of the kids posting here were not helped by the program and like any other treatment there is fallout.  This fallout is important to be aware of.  There were about 14 kids that where in my daughters group (some outside her peer group) that she kept in contact with and they are all doing fine.. some better than others.  So from my experience I can tell you that treatment failure is not the norm, but there are varying degrees of success.

I would caution that when you decide to bring your son home that you have a well defined plan that yourself and your son agree to and that you design a seamless transition to that plan (including a therapist) which does not allow for any “down time” or opportunity to slide backwards.  A plan which is structured and understood by both of you... not “your plan” or “his plan” it needs to be mutual.  

Questioning your decision is healthy.  Stay involved in your son’s treatment like you are now and it will work out eventually no matter what path the two of you choose.

I wish you well

Golly, you hurt my feelings.  I guess I'll quit trying to get the illegal practices at AARC to stop.  Sorry.  But seriously JD, your kid is worm food because you sacrificed him to B Mod.  Did Chuck Dederich appear to you in the form of a burning bush before you packed junior off to re-education?

That post wasnt mine.  But as long as you mentioned it, have you stopped playing porn in front of your kid yet?  Is he still acting out in school and getting low grades?  Are you witholding him from seeing a counselor because he will put DSS on you?
Is this how you like to communicate when you get busted and short on facts Ajax13?  Derail the thread and start attacking people , making things up?.... your MO, not mine.

Now after you calm down you can get back on topic.