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Messages - Dr. Fucktard

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31
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dr. Fucktard is a Faggot
« on: March 27, 2005, 11:03:00 AM »
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On 2005-03-26 23:31:00, Anonymous wrote:

"It has just been revealed that Dr. Fucktard is a homosexual.  If anyone has anything to say to him about his sexual preference please do so."


Druggie, I'm not even going to waste my time denying this.  Your accusations are merely another manifestation of your disease, which will be thouroughly treated at the new, improved, all-ages, Straight,Inc.-by-the-Sea.  We'll see how you like hurling epithets when you're frozen on Day Zero on the front row of the Group.  And Dysfunction Junction, while I approve of your notion of treating the disorder of homosexuality, there is no way in Hell that HLA is in any way superior to SIBS.  Love ya!

32
Straight, Inc-By-The-Sea / Ask Dr. Fucktard
« on: March 18, 2005, 07:09:00 PM »
Hello, Fornits druggies!  There have been a few questions asked regarding the new, improved, all-ages, faith based Straight,inc.-by-the-Sea, and I intend to anwer them in this thread .  If you druggies have any other questions , PM me, Dr Fucktard, Fr. Cassian, Ruth Ann, or Dr. Newton and I will answer any of the appropriate ones.  I know some of you malcontents are going to PM us with questions regarding our sexual proclivities, bathroom habits, personal hygiene, comments about our ancestry, and so forth, and I'm going to tell you right now that activities of that kind will not only get you started over and send you down the path of DEADINSANEINJAIL, but will remain unanswered.  

Our first question comes from an anonymous druggie girl who  asks, "Dr. Fucktard, is it true that you and Mel Riddle come from a planet of Gay Niggers and that you trying to take over our planet by using brainwashing techniques such as those used at [the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based] Straight, Inc. [-by-the-Sea]?

Well, Druggie,I can see that you spend a lot of time hitting the ol' bong these days, and I forecast a trip to the front row for you in the near future if you don't lay off the left-handed cigarettes.  I just told you I wouldn't answer questions regarding the sexual proclivities of Executive Staff, or respond to any comments regarding our ancestries, etc. and so on, but since my Awareness tells me that your short-term memory is being held hostage by the demon of THC, so I'll let it pass.  If by "Gay" you mean "possessed of incredible genius in the field of drug treatment" and by "Nigger" you mean "individual who cares deeply for teenagers and other druggies", then the answer would, of course, be a resounding "Yes!"  Any other interpretation would be unthinkable.

 Love ya!  Have a seat....

33
Straight, Inc-By-The-Sea / Stepcraft for All!
« on: March 09, 2005, 04:45:00 PM »
I must say it is a great honor to be working with such an esteemed group of drug rehabilitation experts.  With this team, we'll be getting druggie kids STRAIGHT and raking in the $$$ big time!

34
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / My 14 year old takes drugs and calls himself Animals All of
« on: March 04, 2005, 06:51:00 PM »
It's called the Seven Steps, Druggie.  We're high on our Awareness.

LOve ya!

Have a seat....

35
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I just
« on: February 24, 2005, 08:30:00 PM »
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On 2005-02-24 16:22:00, Antigen wrote:

. (I've heard you can actually cram it up your ass to some good effect)




It's true.  I often shove large amounts of TBPITW up my ass. It helps me 'relate' to the druggies I treat for chemical dependency.

36
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Glamourizing your Druggie Past
« on: February 18, 2005, 09:25:00 AM »
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On 2005-02-18 04:25:00, shady grove wrote:

Trying to function at all on the outside while being at straight was a fucking joke."


Trying to function on the outside while being a teenage druggie was even more of a joke!  Where's your appreciation for the gift of awareness that we gave you?  You'd be dead of a drug overdose, drooling your life away in some mental ward, rotting in jail, or trading sexual favors to complete strangers for a few tokes of cheap, Mexican weed if we hadn't intervened!  You certainly did not care about attending school before you came in to Straight, yet somehow you look back on your past as if you were some kind of model teenager---that's the real joke.  We were just giving you the Tough Love that you needed, and apparently, you could still use a dose of it!

37
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Sitting in your pity
« on: February 18, 2005, 09:18:00 AM »
We've been getting kids Straight and OFF DRUGS, that's what we've been up to!  Now change your user name to something that doesn't glorify the use of narcotics, you filthy druggie!

38
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Would You Piss On Virgil Miller Newton?
« on: February 17, 2005, 10:39:00 PM »
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On 2005-02-14 17:12:00, Anonymous wrote:

"i'd shit on him and hope it were flamable"


We'll see how funny you think this is when you're shitting your pants during Open Meeting Review, Druggie!

39
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Sitting in your pity
« on: February 17, 2005, 10:38:00 PM »
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On 2005-02-17 19:32:00, Dr Fucktard wrote:

"This Patriot fellow truly is an ungrateful sod, FT2...it's quite apparent. No doubt he will live to regret his audacity."


Damn right he will!  His current attitude is leading nowhere but to jail, insanity, or death!

40
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / .
« on: February 17, 2005, 10:36:00 PM »
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On 2005-02-17 14:00:00, formerly known as wrote:

"that was me, darn that's embarassing. add doofus to the list of bad character traits."


Good to see you making a Moral Inventory of your defects of character.  Keep it up, and soon you'll be Straight!  Love ya!

41
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Gonna get drunk w/ a friend from Str8
« on: February 17, 2005, 10:34:00 PM »
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On 2005-02-16 20:00:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
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On 2005-02-12 06:03:00, ~-=Sara=-~ wrote:


"
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Believe what you must, honey  believe whatever you MUST    rofl"







What exactly does that mean?  Doesn't "believe what you must" imply that a certain belief is a requirement?





Sorry, I don't have any "required" beliefs.  [ This Message was edited by: ~-=Sara=-~ on 2005-02-12 06:04 ]"


  Translation for the intellectually challenged Sara :  

  Believe whatever you have to to make yourself feel better; superior ; worthy.. you powerful, don't-need-anyone or anything island. Now get out there and drink and drug to show us you have no rules.  :nworthy: "


Oh, she'll have plenty of rules, alright--At the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc.-by-the-Sea (formerly Straight, Inc. v2.0)!

42
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I just
« on: February 17, 2005, 10:30:00 PM »
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On 2005-02-17 19:17:00, Erinys wrote:

"Is mercury in retrograde or something?

I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

--Thomas Carlyle

"


Druggie, your belief in the power of astrology is merely another sign of your powerlessness and your druggie tendency to not take responsibility for your own actions.  By assigning some sort of cosmic significance to coincidental events, you are displaying the same kind of "devil made me do it" thinking that caused you to justify your craving for chemically induced highs, instead of facing reality.  Remember, astrology is a gateway to the insanity of drug use, and I believe you have crossed the threshold.  The only hope for you is to apply the Steps, and pray to your Higher Power for guidance.  Only then will you know the true Serenity of the Straigtling.

43
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Sitting in your pity
« on: February 17, 2005, 10:25:00 PM »
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On 2005-02-16 09:47:00, thepatriot wrote:

"What about whenever a 4th phaser started going to RSC ( rational Self Counseling) and learned a new word like "Cognitive Dissidence" and then would go home and bore the shit out of his newcommers with his new found vocabulary. Now that I never did, I prefered to sleep...
"


Preferring to sleep is merely one of the manifestations of your druggie will, Patriot, and by choosing to follow it instead of the sage wisdom we were trying to share with you, you have doomed yourself to a fate of jail, insanity, and DEATH.  Your cavalier dimissal of my creation, RSC, indicates that you truly enjoy wallowing in the irrational, destuctive urges foisted upon you by your disease.  Sadly, you chose to submerge yourself in the depravity of the drug culture, which is precisely where you will remain, clinging to your false pride and druggie beliefs--the same beliefs that got you sent to Straight, Inc. in the first place.  If you had only applied your program, you wouldn't be "sitting in your shit" and mocking the Tools of Personal Change.  It truly amazes me how you can twist the love and compassion we showed you into some sort of 'crime' that you blame us for perpetrating.  Luckily for you, we still care enough to have reserved you a seat in a blue chair on the front row of the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc.-by-the-Sea (formerly Straight, Inc. v2.0)!  Love ya!

44
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Reasons for being restrained
« on: February 07, 2005, 01:08:00 PM »
You did the necessary things to be restrained--- by TAKING DRUGS!

We at Staff could not just sit idly by as you attempted suicide to alleviate the pain of marijuana withdrawal, or have you endangering the Group with your violent lashing out as you suffered from marijuana-induced flashbacks.  By copping out, you were showing symptoms of both of these, and we simply could not take the chance that you would interfere with another phaser's Program. In the end it was for your own good, and because we loved you.  How typically druggie for you to have such an ungrateful attitude, after all we did to help.

45
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I just
« on: March 29, 2004, 11:45:00 PM »
Good ol' Bill Buckley!  I used to burn a joint and read his column before Open Meetings.  If America adopted his views on legalization, there would be an endless parade of druggie kids lining up at my door, hoping to get Straight after falling prey to their druggie will.

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