Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I came very close to dying a couple of times from drug overdose. I've been diagnosed as insane in the hospital before, and I have been in jail. So to some of us this cliche rings true. I can't speak for other people or judge whether they should have been sent to a program or not, for all I know I am the only kid in the universe who really needed to be in the program. But the truth is, I did need it, and without it I would have continued with these behaviors and ended up not insane or in jail, but dead. That's because when you go insane or go to jail, eventually you get out. When I get out I go back to using drugs with a voracious appetite, one that would suggest I don't really value my own life at all. Perhaps that's true, I can't really say and sometimes I do wonder about it, but I believe there is something inside me, something dark, that has never completely disappeared. This darkness prompts me to self destruct, at a rapid pace, and when I get in that state it usually takes an outside force to save me from myself.

So for me it's not a matter of low expectations, it's accepting the inevitable. My most important priority is maintaining some kind of control over this darkness and preventing myself from falling down that rabbit hole once again. I've done fairly well at just that for the past couple of years, and part of that was accepting who I am, and to do that requires an honest examination of myself, despite the depressing conclusions I sometimes reach.  I used to blame the program, and my parents, and whatever else I could to prevent me from having to realize that I was the cause of most of my own problems. I realized it's not the part of me that wants to succeed that causes problems, it's that darkness deep inside that wants nothing but to destroy it's host, like a cancer. When times are good this darkness goes into remission, but it can come like an overwhelming tidal wave, when it's least expected. So to me it's not about low expectations so much as a warning of what could have been, and what might be, if I do lose control again and the darkness takes control over me.

More children die from swimming pool drains than in programs. I'm not saying that a kid dying in a program isn't a big deal, but it's also important to have some perspective. When you are talking about an industry dealing with tens of thousands of kids, a rogue staff might sneak their way into the system and take advantage of it and be mean to kids and physically harm them, or just not do their job and be neglectful and harm them by accident.

Thousands of kids every year die of suicide. That means all of those parents found out their teenager decided to take their own life, many of those parents are the one's who find the dead kid hanging in their closet, or some other gruesome scenario. It's easy to get caught up in how dangerous programs seem on fornits, but there is a lot of other dangers facing troubled teens today, that statistically speaking, are much more dangerous to the well being of a child than being in a treatment program. If your troubled teen is using drugs, and driving around with their friends while intoxicated, what is more likely that they will die in a DUI (accidents in the top 3 leading cause of death of teens, along with suicide) or that they will be killed in the program you send them to? We all know the answer to that, and parents have to make these calculations and it's not a surprise they come down on the side of caution and choose treatment rather than fearing the rare event of program violence, and rightfully fearing the end result of a troubled teen which can commonly be, death , jail or even institutionalization. This is where this statement comes from, it's not a cliche if it's true.

Please stay on topic. I have received a private message from the admin asking me to stay on topic, and I plan on following that rule from now on. I won't respond to off topic derailments anymore. If you want me to respond Anne, stay on topic, thanks.

Now that the new version of fornits has existed for a little while, I'm interested to hear opinions on whether you think the introduction of moderation and rules has made fornits better, or worse.

I think it's interesting that so far, the only people who have been banned are anti -program posters.

Do you prefer this new version of fornits, or the older, free for all unmoderated version of fornits?

These are parents who are being scammed.

Well then, I'm sure they will be pleased to receive an email from you telling them the truth about how they are being scammed. Get to work, go save the innocent kids from getting put in a program by their gullible, naive and ironically wealthy parents. You can do it!

Quote from: "Maximilian"

The demand is there, that is why programs exist.

No doubt the demand is there now.....it's been carefully crafted and marketed by the TTI.  The TTI created the demand.

Imagine you are a single mom, the dad left long ago. You have two sons, and they are both really big, physically. One of them is a good student and doing well, but their older brother is into using drugs, partying every night and getting drunk, not going to school, and when you, the single mother confronts him, he pushes you up against the wall and threatens you. "Don't get in my way, mom, you'll regret it." You are worried that the older son will have a negative influence on the younger son, and you are desperate for help to change this situation. You are lucky enough to have a good job and can afford to send your kid to a program. So you go online, find a reputable Ed Con and begin the process of choosing a program.

This is a typical scenario for a parent seeking out a program. What part of this involves a parent getting scammed, exactly? Parents are extremely grateful programs exist, they don't need to be convinced. In my opinion this claim that parents are all gullible, easily conned people with perfect teens is just totally off base, it does not represent the reality of programs. If you see the industry this way, no wonder it's so confusing to so many of you, because you just don't get it.

Quote from: "Maximilian"

Programs exist because parents want them

Parents have been preyed upon by programs and duped into believing that their kids are going to DIE if they don't send them off for re-education and thought reform.

This is an incorrect assessment of the structure of the troubled teen industry. Parents seek the help of programs, and that is why they existed. Programs do not create a false demand, it's already there. That's why there are so many programs open for business. But I know this is all part of the fornits narrative, and I know many people here believe it. But if you talked to people outside fornits, you'd realize this is not true. I suggest you go read forums where parents seeking programs post, and then tell me these are parents who are being scammed.