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Fornits
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Teen Challenge / i wonder if different places can have different philosophys
« on: September 08, 2010, 08:52:57 PM »
I have been reading some pretty disturbing things about teen challenge not just here but on other website. I know it exists here (In australia) and know one of 2 people who did it here and who describe something nothing like its american counterpart. It is obviously pretty capital C christian so obviously not for anyone who is not a full bible protestant christian and I have no idea of how professional the staff are so I dont want to sound like it's cheer leader. But the teens who are going there dont live in at least in my home state (or go to some bizarre foster home) and the day is much less structured. I think there is a voluntary live in program for adults and i dont know much about it. if anything they seem to be more about evangelizing which is annoying for the general public but not necessarily harmful to those doing it. Are there any people who have been through one of Teen Challenge's international programs(not in north america)? Was it similar to what has been described here or more in line with my understanding of it
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Open Free for All / 12 steps
« on: July 03, 2010, 12:31:09 AM »
I have read the AA criticisms with interest on this forum and a few others. I am a guy who took way too many drugs for most of my 20s. When I decided that it had gotten way more out of hand than I ever intended 12 steps seemed like the most logical choice. But after going a few times I did have a few concerns. As an openly gay man organized religion has never been for me. Who wants to believe in a God that doesn’t even like him? Most of the people there had gotten religion when they gave up the drugs but I knew this was not the thing for me. There were a few others like me but they believed in using the group for the higher power thing. I didn’t get that at all. I mean I had done some pretty stupid shit to get myself in this state and I was hardly alone. So the idea that people who had done some equally stupid things held all of the answers made no sense at all.
Most of my fellow 12 steppers were good decent, and sincere people who really cared about me, this was touching. But they did seem to have the view that any friends who even drank wine with dinner or smoked a single joint had no place in my life. As my closest friends and family, some of the very people who had been gently urging me to get help for years fitted this category it made no sense. In this respect 12 steps were a little like a cult. I also read a bit about these places that exercise peer pressure a lot and almost force kids to lie or exaggerate only to use it against them. I have to say that while 12 steps never exercised that kind of extreme pressure, it sometimes would get a bit competitive. Like whose behavior before reaching rock bottom was the most hardcore. Or who had endured a more insane personal life on the road to drug abuse. I would leave feeling guilty because I did not have a childhood that was filled with abuse or any overwhelming issues that lead me to take drugs. I just took them because it seemed like a fun thing to do at the time and I let it get out of hand. The way some people do with food. But I would say that and sometimes feel a level of judgement.
I also tried a group just for gay people. It had 3 factions. The first was the dirty old men who were mainly there to try and pick up. The second were the lesbians who liked to cry a lot. Then there were the younger gay guys who were busy running away from the dirty old men. I guess that was me. So I decided to give up on 12 steps.
I went to a really good rehab and got some one on one counselling. They had a group therapy option but I didn’t go in for it. I think that the rehab as much as anything gave me a few weeks of alone time to just think things over. This with lots of ongoing counselling has been helpful for me.
In hindsight there were some good things about 12 steps. I felt like the moral inventory idea was helpful for me because I was forced to take stock and think about what the drug abuse was causing me to loose. The people were also very kind mostly if a little strange. Their intentions I don’t believe were bad.
But I realized they were missing the bigger picture one crisp evening when I bumped into a woman from the first group I went to. It had been the kind of day that was cloudless but cold enough to need a jacket. I had spent the afternoon watching my small nephew kick his first goal in a football game. When it was over he ran at me muddy and elated demanding to know whether I had seen his triumph. I was on my way to meet some loyal old friends for dinner at a favourite restaurant. Life felt great. The woman and I exchanged pleasantries and I asked what she was up to. Sure enough she was planning to spend her Saturday night in a cold church hall on uncomfortable chairs drinking freeze dried coffee. Off to 12 steps. She had gone daily for 3 years. She asked if I was sure I shouldn’t be working on my self and told me I was always welcome back. I thanked her, gave her a hug and declined. Then i walked off into my happy drug free life.
Most of my fellow 12 steppers were good decent, and sincere people who really cared about me, this was touching. But they did seem to have the view that any friends who even drank wine with dinner or smoked a single joint had no place in my life. As my closest friends and family, some of the very people who had been gently urging me to get help for years fitted this category it made no sense. In this respect 12 steps were a little like a cult. I also read a bit about these places that exercise peer pressure a lot and almost force kids to lie or exaggerate only to use it against them. I have to say that while 12 steps never exercised that kind of extreme pressure, it sometimes would get a bit competitive. Like whose behavior before reaching rock bottom was the most hardcore. Or who had endured a more insane personal life on the road to drug abuse. I would leave feeling guilty because I did not have a childhood that was filled with abuse or any overwhelming issues that lead me to take drugs. I just took them because it seemed like a fun thing to do at the time and I let it get out of hand. The way some people do with food. But I would say that and sometimes feel a level of judgement.
I also tried a group just for gay people. It had 3 factions. The first was the dirty old men who were mainly there to try and pick up. The second were the lesbians who liked to cry a lot. Then there were the younger gay guys who were busy running away from the dirty old men. I guess that was me. So I decided to give up on 12 steps.
I went to a really good rehab and got some one on one counselling. They had a group therapy option but I didn’t go in for it. I think that the rehab as much as anything gave me a few weeks of alone time to just think things over. This with lots of ongoing counselling has been helpful for me.
In hindsight there were some good things about 12 steps. I felt like the moral inventory idea was helpful for me because I was forced to take stock and think about what the drug abuse was causing me to loose. The people were also very kind mostly if a little strange. Their intentions I don’t believe were bad.
But I realized they were missing the bigger picture one crisp evening when I bumped into a woman from the first group I went to. It had been the kind of day that was cloudless but cold enough to need a jacket. I had spent the afternoon watching my small nephew kick his first goal in a football game. When it was over he ran at me muddy and elated demanding to know whether I had seen his triumph. I was on my way to meet some loyal old friends for dinner at a favourite restaurant. Life felt great. The woman and I exchanged pleasantries and I asked what she was up to. Sure enough she was planning to spend her Saturday night in a cold church hall on uncomfortable chairs drinking freeze dried coffee. Off to 12 steps. She had gone daily for 3 years. She asked if I was sure I shouldn’t be working on my self and told me I was always welcome back. I thanked her, gave her a hug and declined. Then i walked off into my happy drug free life.
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