Fornits
General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: Che Gookin on August 22, 2009, 03:15:34 AM
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I got a decent job offer at a school in Russia, anyone ever spend time there?
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I got a decent job offer at a school in Russia, anyone ever spend time there?
Our good friend Bob Peterson would appear to know quite a bit about Russia ... judging from his user profile! :D
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what city? i've never been but i want to work there one day.
http://www.expat.ru/vacancies.php (http://www.expat.ru/vacancies.php)
thats a good site. there are forums there that will answer pretty much any question you have.
http://moscowdoesntbelieveintears.blogspot.com/ (http://moscowdoesntbelieveintears.blogspot.com/)
i really like this blog, moscow fashion/nightlife/art reporter.
my understanding is that russian cities are still a bit 'weird' in the sense that they arent fully developed to support
consumerism. like shops are hidden and grocery stores have opaque windows. but they have wicked nightclubs.
moscow and st. pete's are super expensive. people apparently judge each other a lot on how much money they make.
you should deffianetly go, i think it would be awesome! russian women would be interesting to meet. lots of culture, history. russian women.
oh, ,their work visa system and their residence permit system is apparently a HUGE bitch. the expat site his info on that.
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Yeah I'm gathering the visa system is a real pain in the balls. Thanks for the links, I'll look them over later, and maybe register on their forums if I have any questions.
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Russia is alright. I grew up there. heres the thing:
russian business is handled very informally. things are agreed upon with handshakes, not contracts. You get things done by knowing people, not knowing things or having experience. at the same time, if you piss someone off things are likewise handled informally, and you might find yourself on the wrong end of a gun, knife, or fist; instead of being taken to court or just fired from your company. Everything is extremely corrupt, even as a teacher expect to be paying someone off to not fuck with you. especially since you are an american, people will want to hustle you. russia is a nation full of hustlers. after 70 years of communism, twenty years later they are all still hungry for capitalism, upward mobility, and money. it's very cutthroat. you have to be tough. Also as another aftereffect of communism, you'll find scores of people who are just wandering through life trying to survive on a bottle of vodka a day. People were told what to do and what to think for 70 years - three generations - the concept of individuality, of individual choice of action and lifestyle, one's choice of life direction is a difficult concept for many to grasp. You think american crack ghettos are bad? wait till you see the bands of orphans as young as five running through moscow (particularly the train stations) stealing everything in sight, huffing anything that has a chemical smell, finishing people's discarded cig buts, and drinking rotgut all day. The infrastructure is very bad also. the roads suck and are accident prone, and the drivers are horrible (half of em are drunk!). the water is atrocious, never ever drink from the tap, always ask for bottled water.
all in all, russia still is very much like the wild west albeit very civilized and sophisticated. you can do whatever the fuck you want if you have money - pretty much everyone in russia takes bribes, and if they dont, there getting fired soon for not taking any bribes.
what the other guy said about money and expenses is true, same about the clubs.
here's a joke that illustrates my point:
Ivan comes from st. petersburg to moscow to see his friend Igor, and notices when he first greets him that they both have the same exact phone - an iphone.
"how much did you pay for that phone, Igor?" says Ivan. "seven hundred euros and it's a stolen one from england!" replies Igor. Ivan responds in disgust, "is that it?! seven hundred!? you were ripped off! I paid fifteen hundred, and mine was shipped from america, unlocked in japan, shipped around the world one more time for good measure and finally shipped to me here in moscow. when i picked it up at the store, they even served it to me with some caviar and vodka!"
The women have the same sort of attitude. to them, their duty in life is to be pampered and showered with expensive things. that is the ideal of the russian people - the russian dream. in america, girls have "big house, three kids, nice neighborhood, adorable husband, cute dog and nice car" in mind when they are scouting out for a mate, and only if they are planning on getting married. casual american daters just look for someone emotionally compatible and physically attractive. Russian women are about as deep as the vodka they are drinking. All they care about is "what is this guy's buying power? what is his level of fear and respect?, how much jewlery can i get out of him?" thats it. trust me. thats all 99% of russian women care about. that, and weather or not her potential mate can get her the fuck out of the country and to either USA, france, england, or australia. all the men are hustlers or alchoholics, or both. the only reason for a man to not be an alcoholic is because he wants to be a tough-guy hustler (a la Vlad Putin), but russians have tons of practice and plenty of practice being functional alcoholics (yeltsin).
another russian peculiarity: expect EVERYTHING to be broken and mcguyvered into functionality. i mean EVERYTHING. People dont have the money to buy new like in america, nor does the government have enough money to maintain the crumbling infrastructure. but, life must go on, so people make do with what they have. You'll find some ingenious fixes, along with some downright scary ones.
shallow people, corrupt government, rampant organized crime, infantile capitalism, and run down infrastructure. not my cup of tea. there's a reason i left and came to the U.S....same reason everyone else in russia is either trying to get out or is dropping dead. You'd have to be INSANE to want to expat into russia. there's much better places out there.
Oh, forgot to mention, no matter what they say, you wont be getting paid anywhere near as much as they are claiming. you'll get there and find that a dozen people have already weaseled away half your paycheck before taxes....for "protection" and other crucial services for keeping yourself intact and alive. I had a freind just like you who was an american and took a teaching job in russia. he invested alot of time and money into it, and lost it all. he pissed off the director of the school by teaching the "liberal american" view of communism (e.g it's ok, good system, doesnt work with big populations, everyone thus far has fucked it up, yada yada...). That director got drunk at the bar and told some friends "what this stupid american idiot thinks about communism"...the next day there a bunch of goons with guns showed up at the guy's house telling him that if he ever steps foot in a classroom in russia again they will tear his balls out and make him eat them "so he can taste what communism is like".
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Luckily for me I have a nice nut set aside in my international dollar account to tide me over if I feel the need to bail out of Russia. When you describe it that way you make it wayyyyyyyy to tempting to go. Reminds me of Cambodia back before the tourists turned it into a civilized country.
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I was going to say ..the Russian crime syndicate is one of the worst, and government is completely corrupt. Make sure someone outside knows where you are. Its easy to make someone disappear in Russia.
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All I know about Russian culture is that when the Russian mafia came to So Florida the hookers and strippers were crying for the good old daze when the Italian mafia ran things.
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The russian mafia is BAD. they make the italian mafia look like choir boys in comparison. If i were you, che, i'd read up on the mafia a little before you go, learn about who they are and how they handle business.
this is what i can tell you in short:
Italian mafia: cocaine, heroin, small guns, careful well planned homicides with profession hitmen, modesty, racketeering.
Russian mafia: all the above, plus thorough corruption in government and big industry. they deal with diamonds, oil, metals (read about the aluminum wars or the history of yukos)....all the commodities, along with the human slave trade (they trick girls into coming to amsterdam or spain, then keep them there against their will as sex slaves/prostitutes), large shipments of military weapons (look up "tarzan", the miami boss of the 80's, and how he tried to sell a soviet nuclear submarine to drug traffickers. "u want sub? with or without missiles?!" lol). The italian mafia has glocks and revolvers. the russian mafia has tanks and helicopters. the italian mafia kills the witness by shooting them. the russian mafia kills their entire extended family along with the next door neighbors and co workers by cutting their heads off and tossing them into the street.
most of the russian mafia has roots dating back 200+ years in the russian penal system, which took hold and rose to power during the great purge (when everyone got sent to gulags). The umbrella organization pretty much every mafia man belongs to is a prison gang called vory v zakonye ("theives within law", meaning they are thieves bound by a common law that applies only to them). there are different clans and organizations, they all fight, but they all (or at least their leaders) all belong to the vory.
here is the laws of the vory. Many of these laws date back to the soviet era and many do not follow the principles to the letter (e.g the ones about family or commerce), although this still remains the backbone of russian organized crime.
*Forsake his relatives -- father, brothers, sisters...
*Not have a family of his own -- no wife, no children; this does not however, preclude him from having a lover.
*Never, under any circumstances work, no matter how much difficulty this brings; live only on means gleaned from theft. Violent crimes and sex crimes are strongly frowned upon and may endanger a "vor's" status. Arms smuggling and drug trafficking are considered a form of commerce and are therefore incompatible with the status of a thief in law.
*Help other thieves -- both by moral and material support, utilizing the commune of thieves.
*Keep secret information about the whereabouts of accomplices (i.e. dens, districts, hideouts, safe apartments, etc
*In unavoidable situations (if a thief is under investigation) to take the blame for someone else's crime; this buys the other person time of freedom.
*Demand a convocation of inquiry for the purpose of resolving disputes in the event of a conflict between oneself and other thieves, or between thieves.
*If necessary, participate in such inquiries.
*Carry out the punishment of the offending thief as decided by the convocation.
*Not resist carrying out the decision of punishing the offending thief who is found guilty, with punishment determined by the convocation.
*Have good command of the thieves' jargon ("Fenya")
*Not gamble without being able to cover losses.
*Teach the trade to young beginners.
*Have, if possible, informants from the rank and file of thieves.
*Not lose your reasoning ability when using alcohol
*Have nothing to do with the authorities (particularly with the ITU, Correctional Labor Authority), not participate in public activities, nor join any community organizations.
*Not take weapons from the hands of authorities; not serve in the military.
*Make good on promises given to other thieves.
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in terms of mafia tho, you should be fine. just be aware that they are out there and they run EVERYTHING. being a teacher, the worst that can happen given that you dont piss anyone off is that local thugs might hustle you for protection. Remember that "protection" is also a commodity. if one gang wants say $300 a month, go to another gang on your own and cut a deal for $250 a month - they will keep the other gang off your back. it's called a "krysha" or "roof", everyone making money in russia has one.
another tip is carry around a stash of bribe money. It's not just a matter of bribing the cops when you get caught for say smoking some pot.....it's a matter of bribing the cops when they stop you and start claiming youre the murder suspect they've been looking for and will throw you in jail unless you give them money.
another tip: learn to drink. If you dont drink, you offend. you must drink with every toast (which happens every two seconds at a russian dinner). if you drink and get wasted, you offend even more. Learning to drink does not just mean tolerance - it means knowing what to eat with the vodka. pay attention to the russian cuisine - baked potatoes, pickles, and pickled herring is not there for just tasty eating, it's there for soaking up alcohol when in your stomach.
also, stay away from black (beluga, sturgeon) caviar from the black sea - the black sea is heavily polluted and the caviar is full of toxins and harmfull bacteria. I know quite a few people who were hospitalized, and a couple that actually died from eating a bad jar of black sea caviar. Sometimes it's good....but it's really a gamble. you never know. it's like playing russian roulette with your digestive system.
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yeah even though the caviar can be up to a thousand dollars an ounce, dont trust anything from the black sea. shit is toxic. in russia, Price doesnt mean quality, it just means that is the maximum someone is willing to pay for it to show off for his date. it might really be worth one dollar, but they jack it up because that's the only way russians judge quality.
another thing i forgot to mention, is the cigarettes and vodka. it's extremely cheap, and 99% of it is crap. russian cigs are the worst in the world, there mostly just stems and nicotine-soaked paper and crap like that, with very little tobacco. of course, you can buy a carton for under a dollar, and there all double the strength of american retts, but they'll kill you a thousand times faster. and the vodka...you can also get a handle for under a dollar. dont buy the stuff. russians with money dont drink real russian vodka, or they'd all be blind by 40 and dead at 50 like many of the poor. The most favored brands of vodka are not russian brands (except for stoly) - the good stuff is same as in america - grey goose, absolute, svedka, etc.
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What was stated about the cigarettes was true but Russia has the best Vodka going. They make the best bread but it only last a day because there are no preservatives. You will notice that everyone carries a bag around because they dont supply one at the stores.You need to have a good friend or translator take you around. If you speak English many end up charging you double or triple (foreigners rate they call it).
I speak of people outside the city... I am not familiar with inner city.. Moscow, St. Petersburg etc..
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the thing about russian vodka is that there is alot of counterfeit/shine vodka going around thats labeled as the real brand. gangsters have been known to ship industrial alchohol from the US then purify and dilute it into "vodka" to avoid taxes. another problem is lack of quality controls. in US, alchohol is legally required to have a certain amount or less of certain "bad" byproducts of crappy distilation such as methyl alcohol, which makes you go blind. it may be tasty, people may like it, but any russian worth his weight in alchohol doesnt drnk the cheap domestic vodka.
bread is good. get black bread (pumpernickle) its the traditional russian bread. nothing too special about the bread or any other russian consumable products. traditional russian food is very simple and also in many cases an aquired taste. lots of root vegetables, lamb, pickled everything and tons of dill on everything. all the other food - foreign and fusion - is average compared to any other big city ( paris, london, ny, la, etc)
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Che, you are so going to get your ass kicked.
Just by your reply to all the valuable info that yes provided, shows you have no true respect and that will get you fucked up in Russia.
Russia ain't China where you can make fun of the people and their culture because you think that as an American, your view is the correct one, which you have done on many occasions.
You make squat in China as an English teacher (English teachers are a joke in China) and you think you'll make more in Russia?
Have you even done a look see trip?
I think you just post this shit for attention
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the thing about russian vodka is that there is alot of counterfeit/shine vodka going around thats labeled as the real brand. gangsters have been known to ship industrial alchohol from the US then purify and dilute it into "vodka" to avoid taxes. another problem is lack of quality controls. in US, alchohol is legally required to have a certain amount or less of certain "bad" byproducts of crappy distilation such as methyl alcohol, which makes you go blind. it may be tasty, people may like it, but any russian worth his weight in alchohol doesnt drnk the cheap domestic vodka.
bread is good. get black bread (pumpernickle) its the traditional russian bread. nothing too special about the bread or any other russian consumable products. traditional russian food is very simple and also in many cases an aquired taste. lots of root vegetables, lamb, pickled everything and tons of dill on everything. all the other food - foreign and fusion - is average compared to any other big city ( paris, london, ny, la, etc)
Dill!! I got so sick of dill I cant even stand the smell of it anymore. dill on everything is right. They even have a dill pizza. You need to watch everything you buy too. Your bottled water may be just filled by the local tap to recycle a bottle they found in the street, so look at the caps closely. I had gotten home to find my beer bottles I just bought were filled with water. No one smiles and they seem so unfriendly but when you make a friend it will be a true friend. They are very good people for the most part just very unhappy and depressed, especially the men (unless they are drinking). The women are very social and well adjusted and are the ones who are building the country back up. They are the doctors and teachers now, the ones getting educated... the men only drink and hunt on weekends.
School teachers make about $90-$120 a month unless you can teach english to the rich on the side, that pays much better. Prostitution pays better than a doctors salary so do the math. There are alot of prostitutes with Phds there trying to save enough to get the hell out.
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hmm... a look see trip sounds like a good plan.
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Dill!! I got so sick of dill I cant even stand the smell of it anymore. dill on everything is right. They even have a dill pizza. You need to watch everything you buy too. Your bottled water may be just filled by the local tap to recycle a bottle they found in the street, so look at the caps closely. I had gotten home to find my beer bottles I just bought were filled with water. No one smiles and they seem so unfriendly but when you make a friend it will be a true friend. They are very good people for the most part just very unhappy and depressed, especially the men (unless they are drinking). The women are very social and well adjusted and are the ones who are building the country back up. They are the doctors and teachers now, the ones getting educated... the men only drink and hunt on weekends.
School teachers make about $90-$120 a month unless you can teach english to the rich on the side, that pays much better. Prostitution pays better than a doctors salary so do the math. There are alot of prostitutes with Phds there trying to save enough to get the hell out.
people are depressed because it's fucking russia, man. theres a 10001 things i can list that is the cause of russian depression. It's such an old trait of the people that authors have been writing about it for well over a hundred years. ever read any russian Lit? lol. We russians are very very depressed, anguished people. even if we move to miami were still going to be depressed, it's not a matter of short days and long winters - although that does play a role. once you go to russia, it will be clear as day to you why people are so depressed. I doubt you'll be immune to the depression either che, even if youre popping ecstacy every day. It's in the air, it's like a drug that just hangs in the air that if you breath it in for to long you start getting depressed.
but, russians are also very deep people. and very intelligent, or at least the ones with an education. dont be surprised when every other person you meet starts talking to you about some eastern-thought quackery like psi power, chanting, auras, fortune telling, aliens...anything. they take that shit very seriously. and i mean SERIOUSLY. every russian spetznaz soldier is officially trained in harnessing their "reserve human abilities" - moving objects from a distance, crowd control through thought, elimination of pain.....although generally they use it to make the people they are fighting look like drunk fools.
example:
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consider this: every male in russia is required to join the army. every soldier is evaluated and potentially trained in this if they have the ability. once they retire from being soldier, they become either bodyguards, or gangsters. that is what you are going up against. your CHE-FU wont help you there.
I was trained in this...actually the guy showing the moves to the american marines was my "drill seargent" for h2h combat while in the army. it's no joke, trust me. you may think some of the stuff is staged....like when the guy makes a bunch of people fall over...it's not. they did it to me once....it's like suddenly you loose your balance and topple over like as if you were drunk out of nowhere. When they attack...you may think the guys are faking it and playing along, they are not. I attacked my drill seargent as a demo once.....i went full-power no-holds-barred on him because i myself thought it was bullshit. all i remember is running at him with my bayonet, and then waking up on the ground with a dislocated knee, arm broken in three places and a shattered skull. dont fuck with russians. TRUST ME.
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oops bad links.
lets try that again
http://www.youtube.com/v/c-1uXzrHMc0&hl=en&fs=1& (http://www.youtube.com/v/c-1uXzrHMc0&hl=en&fs=1&)
http://www.youtube.com/v/uCMtW0kZRL0&hl=en&fs=1& (http://www.youtube.com/v/uCMtW0kZRL0&hl=en&fs=1&)
ttp://www.youtube.com/v/AYq8EueDYNM&hl=en&fs=1& (http://ttp://www.youtube.com/v/AYq8EueDYNM&hl=en&fs=1&)
http://www.youtube.com/v/6V9VV6IW4k8&hl=en&fs=1& (http://www.youtube.com/v/6V9VV6IW4k8&hl=en&fs=1&)
heres another one for good measure. it's vladimir vasiliev, who's an old friend of mine (you'll find that everyone in russia knows everybody...it's weird). he travels around the U.S and canada teaching MMA fanatics all about systema. you can put every UFC fighter in existence all at once up against this guy and he will take em all out in a blink of an eye.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgwpQmOH ... re=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgwpQmOHxu0&feature=related)
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^TheWho^
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I remember the bribes. They are Intertwined into the culture there. One of the many tricks was the ticket agents would tell you that there was a problem with your passport or that you need a stamp of some sort. They then take you in the back room and have you declare all your money (Cash) and they count it in front of you and then hand it back to you with your passport and tell you that there is still something missing in your passport….. see they will never ask you for money because that is illegal and they could go to jail, but they expect you to put some money in the passport and hand it back to them. Your luggage is already on the plane and you are sitting in this room and they remind you that you will probably miss your plane…. You quickly figure it out.
They absolutely hate homeless people over there. Coming out of the airport there was this young woman with three young kids with no shoes on and it was cold. I went to hand her money and my driver jumped between us and pushed her down and spit on her. He was yelling all the way to the car which sounded like such hatred. I later learned that no one will help them there, even the kids. Its their destiny.
The first place I went was to a hotel to have breakfast where I met my translator. We sat next to a table with service men who were drinking Vodka with their breakfast and I said they must be celebrating something and the translator said this was normal. Many people drink vodka for breakfast. Everything revolves around alcohol..... for a chest cold you should take a shot of vodka with pepper, for a head cold add some dill. For fatigue you have a beer with your vodka, for a headache you should heat up your vodka etc.
The women really dress up over there. You rarely see them in jeans.
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you guys think that anyone who may be shitting you is thewho, eh?
systema looks like bullshido but it's probably the most powerfull fighting style in the world by far. It's not utilized much in MMA because the main principals of systema (small joint manipulation, use of knives, quick bone breaks, use of surrounding objects) are illegal to use in any MMA fight. It's very "out of the box" kindof fighting style....so it looks stupid to anyone used to karate or boxing. to someone who's used to systema, karate is the most idiotic style ever - in a no-holds-barred fight a systema amateur can disable a karate master in two seconds.
about the homeless people: russians dont hate homeless people. the driver was just trying to protect you. If you gave them any money, you would have been swarmed by a dozen other "homeless" people who would surround you and tug at everything you have. all of your stuff would have been pulled off you in seconds...your wallet, jacket, luggage, shoes...everything. If you werent going to get swarmed, those homeless people would have tugged at you themselves and followed you untill you gave them all you had.....or untill they distracted you enough for another kid to run up and pick your wallet. It's also very likely those "homeless" people were not really homeless (if you dont have a home in russia, you die in the winter, lol). they were likely just scam artists, the parents making their kids take their shoes off so it makes them more money. It's not much different in other parts of europe...i ran into the same sort of thing in france, italy, and belgium, except they were either muslims or gypsies there.
In addition, what you were told about "homeless destiny" is a pure backlash against communist ideals. it's like a young child rebelling against their parents and trying to become the polar opposite, except russia is doing it as a country. Back during communism, those homeless would have been helped, they would be equals with everyone else. Now russians have a very capitalistic, independent spirit. No one helps anyone, unless you are friends with them and have mutual business interests. to them, if you dont "make it" in life, it's your own fault. dispite being 20 years sober from communism, it's still really affecting russians...they HATE it and want to institute what they would imagine the exact opposite.
Bribes are intertwined with culture also because of communism. It would take a long time to explain why, but in short, it's because during communism there was always a capitalist black market for things like fruit, candy, clothing, books, electronics, music, etc. The only way these things would get to the people is through a long line of bribes.....and everyone took bribes because everyone wanted a pair of jeans, some oranges for their family, (or later on) the latest deep purple record.....at a time when people lived on just black bread and kefir and only 50% of the population had shoes.. when they switched from communism to capitalism in the 90's, that was the way business was already handled for decades, and they kept the system. The fall of communism wasnt really a smooth transition. it was just "poof" government gone.....what do we do now? they just continued to do things the only way they knew how...
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there are definitely some aspects of russian cuisine: kvas, kefir, and blinis in particular.
Kvas is to russians as what coca-cola, lemonade or sweet tea is to americans. it's just a fermented black bread drink, akin to beer. People have been selling it from little carts on the street since pre-soviet times, and continue to do so. much of it is home-made, although there are some big brands. as yes mentioned about vodka, stick to the big brands in tamper-proof bottles, you dont know whats in the homemade stuff. It tastes like a bittersweet beer-soda, it's hard to pin down the taste but it's good. it's usually around .5-3% alcohol, although it's accepted for young children and even toddlers to drink it throughout the day.
Kefir is a fermented milk/yogurt drink. you can find it in the U.S too, as due to it's probiotic content it is gaining acceptance. you can find it at whole foods in the U.S, or just about anywhere in russia. it tastes like thick sour/spoiled milk or sour cream thats slightly chunky and effervescent. It's loaded with the most powerful probiotic cocktail known to man. sometimes if you are new to it, it may give you a bad stomach ache the first time or two. once the bacterial colonies are established in your digestive tract, you'll feel great. It will make you shit every day at the same time down to the minute, and will cut your time on the toilet down to about 2min tops...in a good way. everything will come out as a nice, clean, single piece. you'll also have greater immunity to various bad bacterias and viruses that cause food poisoning, such as lysteria (theres a specific bacteria in kefir who's entire evolutionary purpose is to sit around in the human gut and wait until lysteria comes along, and eliminate it)
blinis are identical to crepes, except they are filled with different ingredients. smoked fish, caviar, and sour cream are most common, but they stuff those things with just about everything. including dill. There's crepe trucks and stands all over russia, sorta like hotdog stands in the US.
dont spill borscht on yourself, you'll never get it out.
make sure you get some lamb pilaf (pronounced plouff in russian) somewhere. it's mostly a southern russian/uzbek/kazakh sorta thing, but it's a favorite dish all over russia. untill you've tasted russian pilaf you've never tasted real pilaf. I would take some proper lamb pilaf over anything any day.....even over a grass-fed kobe-beef filet minion cooked by bobby flay....
also you're going to have to decide betwen the following "looks" in order to fit in in russia. jeans and shirt doesnt fly there, you will stick out like a sore thumb.
-the "gangsta": addidas jumpsuit with flashy sneakers, or outdated casual (not biker/metal) leather jacket with nice shoes
-the "playa": versace/d&g/etc multi-thousand dollar custom tailored suit. this outfit commands the most respect, and it's the only outfit you can wear if you plan on not looking like just another "drunk lowlife russian".
-the peasant: any random clothes you find in the dumpster suffice
-the average guy: decent slacks, tweed or bomber jacket (depending on occasion), loafers, not-to-expensive cotton collared shirt.
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Kvas!! I remember that. They served it from a mini “oil tanker” on the side of the road... the truck was yellow I think, yes fermented milk (mares milk? Or was it cows milk? I never asked). I wanted to try it but my translator advised against it and said it would screw up my stomach because I was not use to it. But she had some and all the local Russians would take a drink. We used mares milk in our coffee. Russia has the worse coffee in the world. You are better off drinking tea.
My second trip I ended up bringing my own coffee from Dunkin donuts and using filters over the cup. It was the best comfort food I brought.
I tried many local dishes, besh Barmark or “5 fingers” I think it was called. It was really good. Horse meat, gravy and noodles which you ate with your hands (where the name 5 fingers came from I guess). Never thought I would ever eat horse meat, but it wasn’t that bad.
I use to try to dress in all black and try to fit in but I wouldn’t get 3 feet outside my building when someone would say “Halllow” so I didnt blend in very well because of my features I guess.
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you're confusing kvas and kefir. kvas is bread-beer, kefir is the milk. They use any kind of milk - cow, goat, mare, sheep, anything. what makes it kefir is the starter cultures (the bacteria). the different kefirs all have slightly different properties and effects. I forgot to mention that kefir also has a small amount of alcohol in it, like kvas, but lower. kids also drink it. It only messes up your stomach temporarily, it's not like bad water where you have to drink it your whole life to be used to it. It's just that kefir kills off all your existing bacteria and colonizes itself in your gut. the transition is sometimes accompanied by significant discomfort, but that usually only occurs if your balance of bacteria is off in your gut, and kefir balances things out for you, so kefir is good regardless if you can brave some cramping and diareah for a few days. just make sure you get good kefir, bottled and in a supermarket. yet again, i cant stress this enough, dont trust the homemade/jerry-rigged/cart-distributed stuff. for all they care they'll sell you a month old batch and not have a single gram of remorse for killing you with it (yes, just like regular milk, kefir spoils eventually and becomes potentially deadly if consumed, it just takes a much longer time to spoil as it is already "spoiled" in a controlled manner)
About coffee, same can be said about american coffee. dunkin doughnuts is IMO the worst coffee in the world. so is folgers, maxwell's, etc....any coffee you get in america that comes in a can or is poured out of a large container or drip coffee maker, or served at starbucks, is utter crap. fresh ground beans in a french press is the way to go. you can get the same beans and equipment in russia as you can here. Just dont drink the "house" coffee at cheaper resturants and hotels. No one in russia drinks coffee, and the ones who do dont have a taste for it, so all they have is the cheap generic black instant coffee that has probably been sitting on a shelf for years. go to supermarket, buy a pound of beans, a grinder, teapot, and press, and you're all set. russian supermarkets carry many of the same products italian and french markets have, since the upper-class russians have a very sophisticated taste in cuisine.
but you should definitely just stick to tea. russians are as avid tea drinkers as the chinese, japanese, or english, although in russia they prefer black tea over earl grey, green, or oolong.
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Yes, it was the milk based, i think. I remember,now that you mention it,that it had alcohol in it and that kids would grab some from the truck on the way to school. It was like 2 cents or something really cheap, but they hauled around a few hundred gallons ofthe stuff.
They sold ice cream in the dead of winter on the streets!!! The best ice cream I ever had, but it was strange seeing a person standing in the middle of nowhere behind a small ice cream stand when it was 20 below out. I use to buy it and eat it in the car. they did a good business I guess.
A pack of Marlboro was 45 cents 3 years ago. They sold Pepsi light instead of diet pepsi... cost me more than 3 packs of cigarettes per can.
How about the Russian saunas? When I first went in my translator left me at the door and I was escorted down the hall into a place to undress and ended up in a steam room with a towel. Then I was thrashed with a tree limb with leaves on it. I think it was a birch tree limb. It wasn’t bad, but strange. I then had an entire Turkish, Russian sauna section all to myself for only $90 with a private Turkish bath for 2 hours. It was pretty cool. This section was big enough to handle 100 people yet I had it to myself and people would come and go to check on me and bring me water.
The other thing that struck me was the peoples offices. There was nothing on the walls or floors, no personal stuff. I had to fed-ex some paintings that I had bought back to the US and they took me to this building and the fed-ex office was on the sixth floor? I would of thought it would be on the 1st floor near the trucks go figure. But we hauled all our stuff upstairs and entered this office which was huge!!! It was the size of a high school gymnasium but with one small desk in the center, no pictures on the wall or carpeting. Just a small desk with a model fed-ex airplane on it and a girl with regular clothes and a fed-ex pin on her lapel. In order to send anything out of the country you had you proclaim it as personal items (not art) so I was asked to remove my socks and place them in the package along with the artwork, which I did.
I actually really loved my stay there. I am sorry I am speaking about negative stuff. I don’t mean to ridicule I found it all fascinating and educational. I could talk hours about the people I met there. Most everyone I got to know (which took a long time) were very nice.
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Yeah deffo going to do a look see trip prior to making a final decision. Push comes to shove I can always skip over Russia and pick up a job in Eastern Europe now that I have an EU passport.
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I dont think you realize something
Eastern europe WAS russia until 20 years ago. It's the same thing, just with slightly different language and culture. pretty much every bad thing said about russia applies to all of eastern europe, in some cases worse than in russia...
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Whatever you do, do NOT marry a Russian woman. It will be the biggest mistake of your life. Russian women are as hard and mercenary as they come. I have known many and they are share these traits.
Just buy something nice for the BJ and move on.
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absolutely true about russian women. this applies to ukrainian women too....but poles, Czechs, albanians, etc not so much.
Russian women are mostly (basically all the ones who are NOT fat, butt ugly, poor and uneducated) are complete golddiggers. they make anna nicole smith look like a timid amateur in comparison........and they are so DIFFICULT! never ever expect to get your way with them once you've established a relationship ......it's "stay whipped, OR ELSE!". If you have access to means to live in another country (meaning US, EU, or australian citizen) be very very careful not to get them pregnant when fucking them. use your own condom that you can be certain was not messed with. they will attempt to impregnate themselves with your seed in order to guilt-trip you into marrying them and getting them out of russia. also, note that HIV is rampant throughout russia, most prostitutes have it. also keep note that most women in russia actually are prostitutes. if you meet an overly friendly woman at a bar, especially in a hotel lobby, be wary. Prostitution does always mean cash. sometimes it means taking her shopping for expensive things, taking her out to a club, fancy restaurant, etc. you may think it's a date, but it's survival bourgeois-style for her. Also about russian women: many may seem very intelligent. be warned: they are mostly not. Many are well-read and well-educated. they may be street-smart. they can probably hold a hour-long debate with you about the author of your choice. That intelligence is just a facade of expert conversationalism. they may in fact be intelligent, but they are so spiritually, morally, and emotionally corrupt that the "intelligence" is not put to use for anything except hustling men and getting what they want in life. basically, shallow smart women.
Polish women are way different. if you can get over the whole excessive sugar consumption and high likelihood of either extreme weight gain or weight loss...marry a polish girl and she will reward you with the world's greatest boobs, excellent housewifery and a very motherly personality. that is, if she's not so emotional that she doesnt drive you batshit crazy with her needy cuddly-wuddly attitude.
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all I gotta say is... the russian mafia are the craziest motherfuckers on the planet. If I had to choose between being captured by Al Queda and the Russian mob, I'd take osama any day.
I know this cause I saw it on TV, and if its on TV, it mus be true.
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There is so much reductive ew factor going on up there in that post about women by region that it almost makes one nostalgic for the not so long ago days where the misogyny here was blatantly expressed in rambling tirades of sadistic mutilation (almost but no not).
Your warning about the mostly not intelligent albeit street smart conversational prostitutes was a crack up. Do you expect that a woman having her life result in the need or just the belief she needs to pander to men such as yourself is going to give you anything substantive of herself?
The women unfortunate enough to be the recipients of your approval are defined derisively in terms that describe a dedicated dullard with a low self esteem and a BMI disproportionate to Vogue standards ‘cept the boobies of course. // hearing you cry Mamama
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I can vouch for this. The whole myth that Russian women don't age well is just that...
My whole family is Russian, both sides, (it's amazing... every single marriage into this family is from mother Russia as well) and I can say with certainty that the women in my family do not in any way fit the misconception. Hell, they're in better shape than I am, and that, I guess, is to be expected, due to the fact that I am scotch-irish and black dutch. (read: hill-fucking-billy)
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once again castle, you have proven yourself to be a drunk fool thats full of herself.
headline:
"?? - ????????? ??????? ???????? ? ???????? ????? ?? ?????? ??? ??? ??????"
translation:
"You - little person boy with back table is fat like head."
and your conjugations are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy off. whad you use, babelfish?
you're obviously not russian. you obviously have never spent any time in russia. The only thing you know about russians is through your family. Russians who emigrate to the U.S are very different from russians in russia. U.S russians are a step ahead, evolutionarily, from non-emigrated russians. The ones left in russia are quite different. I spent the first 25 years of my life there and i do business there, with trips there on a bi-monthly basis. I know my shit when it comes to russia. you dont....ms "all i know about russia is what the hos of so florida tell me"....then two days later "my whole family is russian!". yeah right, my big "back table fat like head".........
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once again castle, you have proven yourself to be a drunk fool thats full of herself.
headline:
"?? - ????????? ??????? ???????? ? ???????? ????? ?? ?????? ??? ??? ??????"
translation:
"You - little person boy with back table is fat like head."
and your conjugations are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy off. whad you use, babelfish?
you're obviously not russian. you obviously have never spent any time in russia. The only thing you know about russians is through your family. Russians who emigrate to the U.S are very different from russians in russia. U.S russians are a step ahead, evolutionarily, from non-emigrated russians. The ones left in russia are quite different. I spent the first 25 years of my life there and i do business there, with trips there on a bi-monthly basis. I know my shit when it comes to russia. you dont....ms "all i know about russia is what the hos of so florida tell me"....then two days later "my whole family is russian!". yeah right, my big "back table fat like head".........
Get over yourself
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once again castle, you have proven yourself to be a drunk fool thats full of herself.
headline:
"?? - ????????? ??????? ???????? ? ???????? ????? ?? ?????? ??? ??? ??????"
translation:
"You - little person boy with back table is fat like head."
and your conjugations are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy off. whad you use, babelfish?
you're obviously not russian. you obviously have never spent any time in russia. The only thing you know about russians is through your family. Russians who emigrate to the U.S are very different from russians in russia. U.S russians are a step ahead, evolutionarily, from non-emigrated russians. The ones left in russia are quite different. I spent the first 25 years of my life there and i do business there, with trips there on a bi-monthly basis. I know my shit when it comes to russia. you dont....ms "all i know about russia is what the hos of so florida tell me"....then two days later "my whole family is russian!". yeah right, my big "back table fat like head".........
:rofl: Okay, so you may know about Russia, but you sure don't have a clue about women.
Really, you don't. :roflmao:
BTW, I wrote that. It was intended to be little boy man with head as fat as ass, but a non sequitur was sufficient.
Looking up the translation was 80 seconds worthwhile window switch. You owe T.A.C. an apology, but ...well LOL!!!
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:rofl: Okay, so you may know about Russia, but you sure don't have a clue about women.
Really, you don't. :roflmao:
BTW, I wrote that. It was intended to be little boy man with head as fat as ass, but a non sequitur was sufficient.
Looking up the translation was 80 seconds worthwhile window switch. You owe T.A.C. an apology, but ...well LOL!!!
Get over yourself. :moon:
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Intellectuals are boring !:moon:
Smart A$$ sounds like Vlad P’s kinda gal. If you can live an uninspired life without orgasms and tirelessly mollycoddle a guy’s ego, he might deem you worthy.
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I fucking hate you girl-power femennazis. What, you think it's acceptable for women to pretend to be smart in order to get rich dates who will buy them things? like thats an acceptable attitude? girls who think that way should all be raped by dirty arabs and forced into slavery. women are supposed to love their partner/spouse, not use them, you dumb shits.
If a girl uses me, and pisses me off sufficiently, I use her. I send her off to "paris" on my "private plane" for "shopping" with my "security" but in fact they end up in saudi arabia and become the items that are getting shopped for, with my goons as her handlers, until she pays off her debt to me - that debt being however much money i spent on her. In saudi arabia, that takes a long time. A shuba (fur coat) in russia can be up to ten thousand dollars. A quality russian prostitute in saudi arabia earns around two hundred an hour, and considering i usually end up "buying" them (nah, just recycling) an entire wardrobe full of jewlery and fur coats, it takes them a very, very long time to pay off the debt. once she's done, I sell her to a shiek and then she has to work off the money he spent buying her, until he gets bored and the process is repeated. People get what they deserve, and thats what Gold diggers get.
I am married and love my wife very much. I am allowed to have affairs while in russia, as i spend very significant amount of time there. I would never do that to my wife because she loves me for who I am. Anyone who only loves me for the money, will likewise be only loved for the money she makes me.
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you may be wondering, doesnt anyone notice these girls missing? NEVER. Usually girls with that attitude are such because their families are destitutes or drunks (as most russian families as), and the girl wants some swift upward mobility. When she gets sent to saudi arabia, I send her parents letters written by my secretary about the wonders of america and i always provide a few hundred dollars in the envelope. the parents or real husbands are usually too drunk or clueless to question it. the money that gets sent to their parents or real husbands to keep them pacified gets taken out of the girl's paycheck in S.Arabia.
I have a clear concience. If a woman has a clear concience about using a man for money, i likewise have a clear concience when using her for money. I would never do this to normal women. only the ones who really deserve it. He's called Charles Darwin.
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I fucking hate you girl-power femennazis. What, you think it's acceptable for women to pretend to be smart in order to get rich dates who will buy them things? like thats an acceptable attitude? girls who think that way should all be raped by dirty arabs and forced into slavery. women are supposed to love their partner/spouse, not use them, you dumb shits.
If a girl uses me, and pisses me off sufficiently, I use her. I send her off to "paris" on my "private plane" for "shopping" with my "security" but in fact they end up in saudi arabia and become the items that are getting shopped for, with my goons as her handlers, until she pays off her debt to me - that debt being however much money i spent on her. In saudi arabia, that takes a long time. A shuba (fur coat) in russia can be up to ten thousand dollars. A quality russian prostitute in saudi arabia earns around two hundred an hour, and considering i usually end up "buying" them (nah, just recycling) an entire wardrobe full of jewlery and fur coats, it takes them a very, very long time to pay off the debt. once she's done, I sell her to a shiek and then she has to work off the money he spent buying her, until he gets bored and the process is repeated. People get what they deserve, and thats what Gold diggers get.
I am married and love my wife very much. I am allowed to have affairs while in russia, as i spend very significant amount of time there. I would never do that to my wife because she loves me for who I am. Anyone who only loves me for the money, will likewise be only loved for the money she makes me.
:rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: "I'm such a rich badass I've got super secret squirrel shit goin' global n' stuff
"I read too much of the supermarket fiction selection". Blah blah blah.Liar Liar
If you had anything capable of love in you it would be something like a fondness for a pet. :heartbreak:
Why don't you just hire a house keeper and a wet nurse? I can totally see now why you have to pay for it.
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:roflmao: "Piniskin"............ is that like...... penis + skin........... the size of a pin? :roflmao:
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once again castle, you have proven yourself to be a drunk fool thats full of herself.
headline:
"?? - ????????? ??????? ???????? ? ???????? ????? ?? ?????? ??? ??? ??????"
translation:
"You - little person boy with back table is fat like head."
and your conjugations are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy off. whad you use, babelfish?
you're obviously not russian. you obviously have never spent any time in russia. The only thing you know about russians is through your family. Russians who emigrate to the U.S are very different from russians in russia. U.S russians are a step ahead, evolutionarily, from non-emigrated russians. The ones left in russia are quite different. I spent the first 25 years of my life there and i do business there, with trips there on a bi-monthly basis. I know my shit when it comes to russia. you dont....ms "all i know about russia is what the hos of so florida tell me"....then two days later "my whole family is russian!". yeah right, my big "back table fat like head".........
lol.. methinks you have an astigmatism. I didnt write that post.. I wrote the one below it. Ive never been to Russia, don't speak Russian.. hell, I can't even write "Tetris" in cryllic, (and it's fucking written in big pixels right on the start screen), so I won't even try. My family Ran The Fuck Away from that shithole well before the Bolshevik revolution, and my grandmother is the last in my family who is fluent. (In Russian, Yiddish and Hebrew)
You are right about one thing, though, I am quite the drunk fool. But my ability to put it away has nothing to do with Russia. As I said, I'm hillbilly.
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:roflmao: "Piniskin"............ is that like...... penis + skin........... the size of a pin? :roflmao:
:rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: :rofl: :roflmao: "I'm such a rich badass I've got super secret squirrel shit goin' global n' stuff
"I read too much of the supermarket fiction selection". Blah blah blah.Liar Liar
If you had anything capable of love in you it would be something like a fondness for a pet. :heartbreak:
Why don't you just hire a house keeper and a wet nurse? I can totally see now why you have to pay for it.
Smart A$$ sounds like Vlad P’s kinda gal. If you can live an uninspired life without orgasms and tirelessly mollycoddle a guy’s ego, he might deem you worthy.
There is so much reductive ew factor going on up there in that post about women by region that it almost makes one nostalgic for the not so long ago days where the misogyny here was blatantly expressed in rambling tirades of sadistic mutilation (almost but no not).
Your warning about the mostly not intelligent albeit street smart conversational prostitutes was a crack up. Do you expect that a woman having her life result in the need or just the belief she needs to pander to men such as yourself is going to give you anything substantive of herself?
The women unfortunate enough to be the recipients of your approval are defined derisively in terms that describe a dedicated dullard with a low self esteem and a BMI disproportionate to Vogue standards ‘cept the boobies of course. // hearing you cry Mamama
Come on ladies it’s not polite to laugh at Stack’s uh, I mean Vlad’s obvious over compensation. His short comings are his cross to carry.
Baaaahahahahaahhaahahahaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aahahahhaahhahaahahhahahahahaahahh!!!!!!!!!
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I made the name up and i'm completely full of shit, it case you didnt realize from my first post.
There's something called called sarcasm. There's also something called trolling. look it up on in a dictionary. It's a fun waste of time when you're stoned or drunk and in front of a computer...right castle? you know what i'm talkin about! ya fuckin drunk feminazi..LMAO.
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I made the name up and i'm completely full of shit, it case you didnt realize from my first post.
I fail in reading comprehension.
I still maintain you aren't clever enough to be a troll, though. That "princess every other tuesday" was the best you ever got.
However, you successfully baited me a couple of times, so Ill give you that, and that results in me being officially full of fail, oops :ftard:
There's also something called trolling. look it up on in a dictionary.
Did you look up trolling in the dictionary before you started? I had no idea you were a fisherman, or a vocalist. I dont think webster is going to help you improve your craft.
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Hey, i hate women too, there's nothing wrong with that. Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel.I think woman all belong in kitchen or bedroom - nowhere else. also they generally require daily spanking with baseball or cricket bat to keep obidient, cook proper meals, give blowjob on demand, chop firewood and keep things clean while her mouth stay shut like a Vagina of 8-year-old virgin girl who is circumcised.
Btw Vladimir and Ivan are cousins, and also brothers. I am their father and grandfather. We are from Novosibirsk. We keep cow in house, she look and taste very much like mother. In my country we have a pen outside of cinema and restaurant for the animals and womens! They always are well taken care of, they have large trough for eating from and pooping in! and so very low maintenance! you american girls are too spoiled and american men too whipped, you dont know what good life is.
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Sosya houyevich
translation:
Sucky dickevich/Suckya cockavich
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some resources:
http://www.hotrussianbrides.com/ (http://www.hotrussianbrides.com/)
http://www.dream-marriage.com/ (http://www.dream-marriage.com/)
http://www.club10.com/ (http://www.club10.com/)
'
http://www.russianbrides.com/ (http://www.russianbrides.com/)
http://www.chanceforlove.com/ (http://www.chanceforlove.com/)
http://www.ualadys.com/ (http://www.ualadys.com/)
http://www.ualadys.com/ (http://www.ualadys.com/)
http://www.blossoms.com/ (http://www.blossoms.com/)
it's all about the bling, yo! the more you pay, the hotter and more hardworking your future "soul mate" will be. Some of these organizations do regular auctions. I recommend you attend one as you can get a better deal. If you've ever been to a cattle auction in texas or colorado then you should be familiar with the system. otherwise, dont forget to haggle.
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This thread only keeps getting better and better.
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those names are classic....absolutely brilliant.
Zhenya Kzolotuvichnaya = Zhenya is either "Jane" or "wife" depending on accent. Kzolotuvichnaya is "to-gold-vichnaya" (vichnaya is suffix) therefore it's "wife to gold" or "married to gold"
Muzhik trakit zhenshin = Dude fucks women. funny thing is it fits a russian name....if you're from some exotic locale in middle of nowhere russia.
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A quality russian prostitute in saudi arabia earns around two hundred an hour, and considering i usually end up "buying" them (nah, just recycling) an entire wardrobe full of jewlery and fur coats, it takes them a very, very long time to pay off the debt.
First of all, the price of a russian prostitute has gone down since obama's election. unless you got some exceptionally hot, exceptionally young "virgin" girls...but then you'd be charging much more than that. Ever since Obama took office more americans have been coming over. Those arabs have lightened up a bit and so have the american blondes. plus...with the recession and everything all the american golddiggers are looking elsewhere. and we all know how much hotter those american girls are. they dont call it a "melting pot" for nothing!
second of all, great idea with the recycling! I never thought of that, i feel so stupid. WTF does a russian girl need a fur coat and jewlery for in arabia? they friggin wear burkas around all day till they get in the club, and then they wear nothing. bitches prolly sold the shit so i can take their GPS chips out their thighs and free them sooner. I can cut my losses and expenditures at the same time! i'll be saving millions of dollars! thanks so much, you're a genius. I'm friggin retarted...all this vodka and kazakh opium is getting to my head. time to switch to everclear and fentanyl - it's not as foggy.
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Doctor: This medicine is from insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.
Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?
:jamin:
In the class:
Teacher: Where are the best toys?
Children: In the Soviet Union!
Teacher: And where are the tastiest candies?
Children: In the Soviet Union!
Teacher: So where are the happiest children?
Children: In the Soviet Union!
Suddenly Vovochka started to cry bitterly.
Teacher: Vovochka, why are you crying?
Vovochka: (through tears) I want to live in the Soviet Union!
:jamin:
NEW RUSSIANS:
In tax police:
- Where did you get money to buy MERCEDES?
- I sold my FORD, added little bit money and bought it.
- Where did you get FORD?
- I sold my LADA, added little bit money and bought it.
- Where did you get LADA?
- I sold my SUZUKI, added little bit money and bought it.
- Where did you get SUZUKI?
- I already have been in prison for that.
:jamin:
A New Russian calls to his secretary:
- Lena, how much of zeros are in one million?
- Six.
He disconnects and tells his partner:
- You see? Six zeros in one million! Thus, in two millions it is twelve.
:jamin:
A New Russian comes in to buy a car. He tells the salesman he wants a grey Mercedes. The salesman finds him exactly the car he wants, and the man pays cash for it. As he is about to leave, the salesman asks him, "Didn't you buy a car just like this from us last week?" "Oh, yes, I did," replies the New Russian, "but the ashtray got full."
:jamin:
"Daddy, all my schoolmates are riding the bus, and I am the black sheep in this 600 Merc." / "No worries, son. I'll buy you a bus, and you'll ride like everyone else!"
:jamin:
"Look at my new tie," says a New Russian to his colleague. "I bought it for 500 dollars in the store over there." "You got yourself conned," says the other. "You could have paid twice as much for the same one just across the street!"
:jamin:
The wife of a new Russian waits for him to come back from work. The phone rings; it's her husband: "Dear, I've been held up at work. I won't be back earlier than seven". The wife, in a panic, rings her friend: "That's it! My husband's been arrested! What does one get seven years for these days?"
:jamin:
new Russian and an old man lie injured side-by-side in an emergency room:
— How did you get here, old fella?
— I had an old Zaporozhets car (piece of crap soviet car, kinda like a vw beetle with a lawnmower engine), and I set the war-trophy Messerschmitt jet engine on it. While driving on a highway, I saw a Ferrari ahead and tried to overtake it. The speed was too high and I crashed myself into a tree. And how did you get here?
— I was driving my Ferrari when I saw a Zaporozhets overtaking me. I concluded, that my car might be broken and that it was actually standing still. So I opened the door and walked out...
:jamin:
BACK TO OLD RUSSIANS...
This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is permitted and what is prohibited?”
We’re answering:
“In England, what is permitted, is permitted, and what is prohibited, is prohibited.
In America everything is permitted except for what is prohibited.
In Germany everything is prohibited except for what is permitted.
In France everything is permitted, even what is prohibited.
In the USSR everything is prohibited, even what is permitted"
:jamin:
At a meeting in a factory, a lecturer from the district Party committee tells the workers about their bright future in the USSR.
"See, comrades, after this five-year plan is completed, every family will have a separate apartment. After the next five-year plan is completed, every worker will have a car! And after one more five-year plan is completed, every family will own an airplane!"
From the audience, somebody asks, "What the hell one may need an airplane for?"
"Don't you see comrades? Let's say, there are shortages in potatoes supplies in your city. No problem! You take your own plane, fly to Moscow and buy potatoes!"
:jamin:
A Polish tourist comes back home after visiting the USSR. He carries two very large and heavy suitcases. On his wrist is a new Soviet-made watch. He tells the customs man: "This is a new Soviet watch. It's a wonder unknown in the capitalist countries. You see, it shows time, the rate of your pulse beats, the phases of the Moon, the weather in Warsaw, Moscow, and New York, and more and more!"
"Yes, it's a wonder," the customs man agrees. "And what is it you have in these big suitcases?"
"Oh, it's just the batteries for that watch."
:jamin:
Three prison inmates were locked in the same cell; they soon began talking. "What are you here for?" asked one inmate of another. "They put me in for beating up some old Jew named Khaimovich," snarled one man. "And why are you here?" asked the second of the first. "For having defended some old Jew named Khaimovich in a fight," he replied. "And what were you arrested for?" the third inmate was asked. "For being Khaimovich," he sighed.
:jamin:
:jamin:
Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected?
His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.
Little Boy: But what if there is a shortage of meat?
His Father: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs meat today."
:jamin:
You know you have been in Russia too long when ...
You have to think twice about throwing away the empty instant coffee jar.
You carry a plastic shopping bag with you "just in case."
You say he/she is "on the meeting" (as opposed to the more proper "at the" or "in a" meeting).
You answer the phone by saying "allo, allo, allo" before giving the caller a chance to respond.
You save table scraps for the cat(s) living in the courtyard.
When crossing the street, you sprint.
In winter, you choose your route first by determining which icicles are least likely to impale you on the head.
You are impressed with the new model Lada or Volga.
You let the telephone ring at least 3-4 times before you pick it up because it is probably a mis-connection or electric fault.
You hear the radio say it is just at or below freezing outside and you think it might be nice day for a change.
You argue with a taxi driver about a fare of 30 rubles to go 2-3 miles while it is snowing.
You actually know and care who won the last Spartak soccer match.
You win a shoving match with an old Babushka for a place in line and you are proud of it.
You hesitate to put on your seat belt to avoid offending the taxi driver and the impending 5 minute conversation to explain why you are putting it on.
You are pleasantly surprised when there is actually toilet paper in the WC. ( On what trip in Poland, After 3 days I was shown where the toilet roll was kept, I was told by my colleague that we had now achieved trusted advisor status)
You look at people's shoes to determine where they are from.
You're anxiously concerned because you forgot your "just in case" disposable hypodermic needle in your other coat.
You "automatically" hand in your pepper spray at the door before going through the metal detector.
You are pleasantly surprised when there is actually wine in that bottle of Georgian Kinzamaruli. ( Not everyone gets this one, email for solution!))
You notice that Flathead's cell phone is smaller than yours and you're jealous.
Your day seems brighter after seeing that Goon's Mercedes run into by a pensioner's "Moskvich".
You are thrown off guard when the doorman at the nightclub is happy to see you.
Your not sure what to do you when the "Gai" only asks you to pay the official fine.
You wonder what the tax inspector really wants when she says everything is in order.
You give a 10% tip only if the waiter has been really exceptional.
You plan your vacation around those times of the year when they turn off the hot water.
You're offended when your American friend gives you a "dozen" roses.
You don't notice that Sony sticker on the front of your TV.
You are relieved when the guy standing next to you on the bus actually uses Kleenex.
You are envious that your expat friend has smaller door keys than you.
You ask for no ice in your drink.
When you start using "davi" instead of "yes".
When you go mushroom and berry picking out of necessity, not recreation.
When you develop a liking for beets.
When you eat hot dogs for breakfast.
When you begin to socialize with your driver and/or your cleaning lady.
When you know what Dostoyevsky's favorite color was.
When you swear the arms on Gagarin's statue move (see photo).
When you move to Budapest and think you're in heaven.
When you start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka.
When you drink the brine from empty pickle jars.
When you start shopping for products by their country of production
When you go for a walk in the park, Baltika in hand, and its -8 and snowing.
When it doesn't seem strange to pay a the GAI of $2.25 for crossing the double line while making an illegal U-turn and $35 for a microwaved dish of frozen vegetables at a lousy restaurant.
When your coffee cups routinely smell like vodka.
When you start to "feel" public transport and bridge opening schedules.
When you know more than 60 Olgas
When you give you business card to social acquaintances.
When you wear a wool hat in the sauna.
When you put the empty bottle of wine on the floor in a restaurant.
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The above post was not posted today.
This was yet another old thread "bumped by anonymous":
viewtopic.php?f=1&p=408398#p408398 (http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?f=1&p=408398#p408398)
(Look at the dates of the posts preceding...someone is bumping threads from the "way-back machine.")
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K, researching......
http://www.phpbb.com/community/viewtopi ... &t=1228495 (http://www.phpbb.com/community/viewtopic.php?f=46&t=1228495)
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http://www.tempestblog.com/2011/07/20/h ... -in-phpbb/ (http://www.tempestblog.com/2011/07/20/how-to-undo-bumps-or-unbump-in-phpbb/)
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Not finding any place in the admin where anonymous or guest has permission to bump. HOWEVER, we badly need an upgrade! And I'm just afraid to start it in case something goes wrong and the library closes and I have to go home and forget where I left off and fuck everything up :suicide: . Can someone please, pretty please, volunteer to do a backup and upgrade for us?