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Messages - Charly

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61
The Troubled Teen Industry / Carlbrook
« on: February 01, 2007, 12:41:46 PM »
Toasting you with my Carlbrook water bottle!

62
The Troubled Teen Industry / Carlbrook
« on: February 01, 2007, 10:02:44 AM »
They mixed it with vodka to kill the bacteria.

63
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: February 01, 2007, 10:01:18 AM »
I am not as educated about the CEDU programs as many of the rest of you. From what Psy has told me, I think there is a potential for damaging confrontation IF the leader is not well-trained and compassionate.  I suspect, as with anything else, there are many who can emerge unscathed, and others, like many on this forum, who are scarred for life.  I think from what I have read here that there is a serious lack of competent staff at most of these programs. I think Carlbrook was possibly one of the best in getting and keeping good staff, but there was turnover even there. That is an unfortunate part of the model- these programs are in remote places where qualified professionals don't want to spend too many years.  
I think there can be some abuse of authority/power outside the groups as well.  There is a clear food chain established, and those at the top (including senior management) are put in a position where they can abuse that power to the detriment of those below them.  Also, in the guise of "treatment", there can be a lot of arbitrary consequences imposed. Some of this is possibly justified, some is not.
Another problem is that the person most informed about the particular kid- his therapist/advisor- often had the LEAST input as to decisions involving that kid because the advisor was lower in the pecking order of the school.  So decisions were made by people with the least day to day contact with the kid and the parents.
One of the problems is that parents have no clear idea what they are really getting into.  This may be different now since there is more information available (here and through other parents and sites).  It was quite different for me, as a parent, than what we were used to having as far as input and communications with a school our kids attended.

64
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: February 01, 2007, 08:43:33 AM »
To TSW's Question-

I do not support Carlbrook or any teen help program with the exception of Second Nature, which I truly believe is an outstanding program with excellent ownership and staff. (I am open to learning otherwise)

I believe Carlbrook served a purpose for my son and our family. Much of this success was simply due to a fortuitous combination of factors unrelated to the therapeutic structure of Carlbrook.  At the time we were connected to the program (9 months) there were some problems related to the newness of the program and too much adherence to stuffing all the round pegs in the square holes.

I don't feel competent to recommend Carlbrook to anyone, since I am not a psychologist. I now am questioning the CEDU model and if the groups were conducted in this manner, there is a strong likelihood for abuse and coercion. This does not HAVE to be the case, but I simply don't know how good the current staff is at conducting proper group therapy.  

What bothered me the most?  Probably the lack of attention to individual needs and differences. Again-the round pegs thing. My son could have benefitted from some things (like being permitted to train for his sport) that could have completely made his experience different. This may seem like a minor thing, but if you understood his needs, which I hit them over the head with over and over, it was a big factor in his resistance there.  It is hard to strike a balance between valuing the parents input (after all, we are the ones who screwed up the raising of these kids in the first place) and holding to the line of "you gave us your kids, now trust us without interfering."

65
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 31, 2007, 10:46:36 PM »
I can completely see that happening.

66
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 31, 2007, 10:11:45 PM »
Are you serious?  Was he ever accused of that?  Any charges filed?

67
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 31, 2007, 01:27:10 PM »
Carlbrook cost $5000 a month at the time my son was there.  I think it has gone up.  The kids got computers after a couple of months (no internet). There was a "tech fee" that we paid for this. My son thought it was a crappy computer, but he has pretty high standards.
The program is 14-15 months.  There are graduations in March, May, August and December. (I think March is accurate)

I am not claiming to be an expert.  All I can report is my experience and what I can get out of my son.  I did have a lot more contact with the place than most parents- I can assure you of that.  I also have had a lot of contact with graduates and parents since then.

68
The Troubled Teen Industry / Breaking my heart
« on: January 31, 2007, 01:14:56 PM »
Deborah-  I talked to Farrell once and it was two weeks ago.  I had a specific question for him. I got his name off of Ginger's Dewey, Cheatam section.  He graduated from college in 1987-long after me.

I'm not sure what your point is, but I knew parents with kids at HLA and indirectly know someone with a kid there now. I have no other connection with HLA.  If you want to PM me, I think I remember who told me your background.  It was a parent.

69
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 31, 2007, 01:02:58 PM »
I don't know the topics.  I'll have to find that out.
Re: Tim Brace    Consensus seems to be that he was very mild at Carlbrook and not very confrontational-  more inclined to weep than to yell.

Want to mention that boys wore dress shirts and ties to class and girls wore nice pants or skirts.  Had the feel of a southern prep school.  Pretty campus with nice facilities and adding more.  I think there is a new dining hall now.  The portable buildings that were there won some kind of award for being so well done that they didn't look at all like portable buildings.  The main building looked like a plantation house.

Reading didn't appear to be censored. Everyone was into DaVinci Code at the time.  My kid read that and got into Ayn Rand and Shakespeare.

70
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 31, 2007, 11:12:57 AM »
Dr. Phil-   The circumstances you describe would not warrant sending a kid away.  Also, I don't believe there are thousands of parents wanting to find a placement for a struggling teen- I could be wrong, but that seems high.  I didn't look at the other two schools  we considered, so I can't say if I would have found them OK at the end of the day.  Carlbrook seemed to suit what we wanted- at least based on the initial visit and information we got.
I really think every kid's situation is different.  Many will agree to family counseling or good local therapy.  Some need a rehab program for substance abuse (short term).  I am not a psychologist, so I can't say, but I actually have only recommended Carlbrook to a few people-  those who had a pretty mild mannered kid who was in wilderness at the time and the family was looking for a TBS with pretty strong academics.

Psy- the staff is listed on the website.  I know the ones who were there three years ago, which includes all the principals.  One excellent senior staff person who was there is not there now- he got crosswise with the Boss.

71
The Troubled Teen Industry / Breaking my heart
« on: January 31, 2007, 09:49:25 AM »
I certainly didn't intend to disrespect Deborah or Anne.  I don't know what led Deborah to think I knew this HLA lawyer.

Charly has been my registered name on this forum since December when I registered so that I could send PMs and apologize.  My identity under this name was never a secret.  Am I supposed to register with my real name?  Let's see YOU do that!

The details of my son's life wouldn't have led to any identification of him if his full name and contact information hadn't been printed on the forum

I'm not going to debate my integrity here.  I will answer questions and discuss programs on TSW's forum.

72
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 30, 2007, 11:40:30 PM »
I will ask him that.  I'm also not sure if the groups had guidelines and the kids were limited in what they could say.  
I, too, have to sign off.  Short night tonight.
More tomorrow.

73
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 30, 2007, 11:37:43 PM »
I don't think the groups were nightly.  At night they had "last lights" after study hall etc.  At "last lights" a kid could speak about something on his or her mind.

The groups were in the afternoons after school.  I'm not sure about the topics.  I don't know if the topics were assigned or if it was a free for all. You had to move across the circle from someone you were going to address.  That way you were a "safe" distance from them.

74
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 30, 2007, 11:35:39 PM »
The guy was incompetent.  I've discussed him before.  He was the "Dean of Academics" but he was an idiot.  I couldn't get him to anything in the way of making sure my son got to take the standardized tests he needed for the next schools, etc.  The academic issues were totally botched by him, even though the teachers themselves were pretty good.  The guy felt that I exposed his incompetence, I think.  He was strange.  He's been at other programs-  Glenn Bender.

75
Facility Question and Answers / The Carlbrook thread
« on: January 30, 2007, 11:31:58 PM »
I only feel qualified to talk about some of this because Psy and I were talking over Christmas when my son was right next to me so I could actually ask him.  He is far enough removed from it that I think I got pretty accurate answers.  He's not the most verbal person on the subject, though.

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