Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Mine was not as serious as a tumor, but it indicated the attitude at Straight.  About halfway through my time, I came down with Strep Throat.  My host parents knew I was sick, as did my oldcomers, but I never said anything to staff myself because I knew what would happen.  I lost ten pounds over the next two weeks (I was skinny in the first place).

The thing is, Strep had to be going around the program at the time, because I didn't have it when I went in. And yet they weren't watching for more people to come down with it.  Plus, they apparently ignored the request from my host parent that I see a doctor.

I found out what it was when my father pulled me from the program. He took me to a doctor, who immediately suspected Strep.

It may have been a lucky break for me to get sick, though, because I looked like hell, and that may have sped things up when my parents started to question the program.

I was a kid in Straight, but Snowhite's comments led me to post this. I feel for her, and I hope her son has forgiven her.  

My perspective on Straight is slightly different than many, because though Straight changed my life drastically and forever, I survived and got stronger. My mother never got over it.

She saw the fact that I'd done some drugs as a personal failure on her part, and it came as a real shock to her. She wasn't the perfect mother, but she cared about me a great deal, and she bought the Straight line that I'd end up dead if I left. At her most vulnerable point, the Straight staff led parent raps attacking her for various reasons, among them that she questioned whether the program was the right place for me.  They would split up my parents so Dad couldn't help her, and then go at her until she was in tears.  

The tears never quit after that.  For years, she would cry at the slightest provocation. Years after I left the program (I am still alive and prosperous, thank you) she would hide the aspirin when I came home, and panic if I was late coming back from somewhere.

I later realized she'd had a nervous breakdown back then, and we never realized what it was. My siblings agree that that's probably what happened to her.  Of course, Straight had soured both my parents on psychology, so we couldn't have gotten her help any way.

I know this may tick some of you off, and that isn't my intent. I have no doubt that many parents used Straight to get back at their kids. I really think the founders of the Seed, Straight, SAFE, etc. knowingly and deliberately engaged in thought control. But others were desparate parents trying to figure out what to do, and Straight lied to them convincingly (with the help of Nancy Reagan, George Bush, David Tilley, and others).  

I hope like hell that my mother was a rare case, but I have a feeling there were others.

Bill,

When I was there in September and October of 82, there was a guy who was tall, with dark blond hair, and thin, who I can't ever remember speaking in group during that period.  His face was a complete blank, like he hadn't smiled, cried, laughed, or shown any emotion in a long time.  It was like he'd been there so long that they'd bleached the emotion out of him. He sat in the third or fourth row usually, and I was on the front row, so I don't know if he ever motivated, but seeing him sitting there, it was hard to imagine that he did.  I wondered what his story was. Could that have been you?

Marnie,

When were you in Atlanta?  I know you weren't in group, but I just realized that you said you were there for the beginning of the joy there. If your mother worked there, you might know something about the dynamics of the Buttimer-Oliver-Tilley group.

Regards,
Charlie

Clay,

I liked Mrs. Crow too, at first.  Since leaving, though, I've realized that she was probably only around as a "good cop" to Dennis Buttimer's "bad cop."   I vividly remember her coming into my intake to soften me up after Buttimer had reemed me out because my "corneas were cloudy," which he took as evidence of a lot of pot use.  The fact that I was there voluntarily (Forgive me: I was young and naive) made no difference: nothing I said could be trusted.

Any way, Ann Crow kneeling at my feet, touching my knee gently, and telling me softly to "just try to cooperate" took the edge off my defenses for when Buttimer and the oldcomers heaped on the accusations.  It was very effective.