Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - velvet2000

Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 14
76
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / In response to all...
« on: December 04, 2002, 04:58:00 PM »
Don't you see the way that you reflect AARC even worse here? Don't you see that when there is a board about recoving from metnal abuse, and you come in and call everyone here "morons" or "bozo's" or "flunkees" for not being in your program that it is slightly rediculous? Do you really  believe that you are being productive this way? Do you think that if you say the same things over and over again that it makes it true? I guess you do. I remember the first "mini vause" saying that "If I tell you that you're stupid over and over again, one of these days you'll believe me. That's how Kids worked." And obviouisly it's how you guys hope to work too.

I realize thatr you try to engage me in a "rap" by asking over and over again if I'm educated so I can just answer you frankly that yes I am educated, not that it makes any difference here anyways! After all, I'm not claiming to be a psychologist like some might.

Velvet.

77
News Items / Who knows Dean Vause - lets have some facts here too
« on: December 04, 2002, 04:53:00 PM »
Yeah Brian would be a hazard if he came back to work at aarc after he killed himself LOL!!!!

On the other hand, maybe he'd bring some light with him.

78
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / You are all addicted to being in cults
« on: December 04, 2002, 12:06:00 AM »
It seems that the problem with AARC grad is that he doesn't understand the concept of I.P addresses, and the fact that every time he posts on any of these boards I can access that. It has nothing to do with whether or not you post anonymously, or what name you guys use, okay?

79
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / You are all addicted to being in cults
« on: December 03, 2002, 09:08:00 PM »
If you don't know what Kids of North Jersey is, then why were you posting on thier board months ago about the history of Kids - AARC? Back then you were a one 100 % happy AARC grad. You just found this web page you say? Another reason for a "fess up" rap I guess, or yet another case of MPD.

Takes a lot of nerve for you to go against former employees on a public forum that way. What did they ever do to make you so angry at them, or is it just simply that by moving on they betrayed AARC?

80
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I Konw You!
« on: December 03, 2002, 08:50:00 PM »
I know you too 68.146.93.27 h68-146-93-27.cg.shawcable.net !

Oh, please try to stick to one personality at a time when posting instead of being you and "This is Gettiing Old" and all of that stuff. Sorry to discriminate if you have MPD, but I can't respond to you unless you actually are a "you" instead of an "us".

Better jump right into a "fess up rap".

81
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / This is getting old
« on: December 02, 2002, 11:16:00 PM »
You're right, you guys got old long ago. Same old person coming here and saying that the facts aren't really the facts. Do you realize that every time you come here and post about Vause's lack of credibility you post another string warning new people about his education? Every single time you come here you say the same stuff about how you don't need to research him but our research must be wrong, and every single time you make yourself and the people you represent look even worse. Vause was on to something when he told all of you to stop coming here for the sake of his image. It worked for us, and it was working for you, so why don't you go back to it?

It's funny that the same people who post death threats want to know my location. Remember, if what Vause says to you is true and everything that we say here is all lies, you would have my location right now, but the law is protecting me. Oh that's right, because as you've said time and time again he just doesn't have the time for this. Until I check my mail and visit these boards I think about this board or you guys rarely to never. I wonder how much time you guys spend burning up over this tiny little thing. Remember when a certain staff member would say to the clients "We don't think about you guys at all the moment we step out of here because we have lives, and we're busy  having fun."? Then I remember getting to level 3, going out with staff, and one saying to me "we have no lives, all we do is sit around and talk about you guys!" And sure enough, that's what you did.

82
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / You are all addicted to being in cults
« on: December 02, 2002, 11:00:00 PM »
Grad, I'm happy that you have gone on with your life and found what's right for you, but you need to understand that these websites are a service for all AARC grads, and everyone is going to need to handle things differently, and it doesn't mean that these boards are a group that keeps people coming back like they have to in order to survive, the way that AARC taught us. I had many years out of AARC, and decided as and adult that I would like to do something for the sake of the other kids. I personally believe that if you feel you've been abused in AARC that every day you do nothing about it you are contributing to the abuse of hundreds of more kids. We can all contribute in our own ways, starting this board is one of the ways that I have contributed for those who are still living with their parents, scared of what they will do if they turn against AARC's ways, and afraid that they are the only ones who feel that they were in a cult. Some grads I keep contact with don't come here because it is upsetting in their lives. There are others who don't publically post but feel that reading others experiences that help them. Everyone needs to do what is right for them, and this board is right for some people. Think about the new wave of grads coming out who have already heard about these boards and know that as soon as they're out they can use their voice to make a difference in Alberta because people are waiting to hear from them now.

83
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Been gone awhile
« on: November 21, 2002, 03:24:00 AM »
You don't HAVE to answer that if you don't want to. Nothing wrong with posting anonymously if you choose to.

84
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Been gone awhile
« on: November 14, 2002, 12:47:00 AM »
I forgot about the damn documentary! I watched the J-Lo interview....Blinded by the diamond!

How was it???

Hey Ken, nice to see you again,

Velvet.

85
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Hamilton...
« on: November 11, 2002, 09:39:00 PM »
Hmmm....Sorry. Try now!

Velvet.

86
News Items / Who knows Dean Vause - lets have some facts here too
« on: November 11, 2002, 02:38:00 AM »
I think the "indoctorine" made my mind up for me for a long time, but that it's only influencing me one way now. Having made statements inspired by AARC in the past, I now regret them, and so I am slower to make a "confident" decision because I've proven that I've certainly been wrong before. The reason I would like to see a community living this way is because what changed my mind about the Rehab way (to note, I never actually believed that AARC was good, but supported the idea of intensive rehabilitation to make people sober)was by going out and meeting people who were perfectly healthy and had used entirely different resources.

No, I haven't met anyone who has been affected by the 72 hour legislation. I'm sure that many of us never will because - as Alexia Parks would say - those kids are "dissapeared". But I thought we had a justice system for a reason, don't we? Not in the 72 hour law. If your parents and a social worker or police officer think that you deserve to be locked up, then that's all it takes I guess. Can you imagine if kids could have their parents taken away for 72 hours just because they claim their parents are behaving irrationally?

Check your private messages!

87
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Hamilton...
« on: November 10, 2002, 08:22:00 PM »
Check your Private Messages.

Velvet.

88
News Items / Who knows Dean Vause - lets have some facts here too
« on: November 10, 2002, 08:18:00 PM »
You're right, I do only have my mind halfway made up on this. Like I said initially, especially around the idea of legalization, I'm not sure what to think. I think I'd have an easier time being confident with a decision on this if I'd actually been to a country where drugs are legal and controlled, instead of just reading about it.

Velvet.

89
News Items / Who knows Dean Vause - lets have some facts here too
« on: November 08, 2002, 06:50:00 PM »
See, there are those who beleive that love is a feeling, and those who beleive that it is an action, and I believe that it's an action. When you stop treating someone with love, you stop loving them. That's certainly how it feels to the person on the recieving end.

There are obviously situations where you have to stop giving love to someone whether you like it or not, alcoholoism or no alcoholism. But I'm talking about situations where people are quick to cut people out just because they don't like their behavior. For instance if someone is "toxic" because they are physically or mentally abusive, obviously that person needs to be shut out. But if they are "toxic" just because you don't think that they are as spiritual as you are, or as reliable, or whatever it is that person is doing, then I believe there comes a time when we all have to learn that if we want to love that person, then we continue to give love to that person and hope that it helps them to grow out of their troubles. If we don't do that, then we must think that we are All Knowing, and I've yet to meet someone like that.

If you are an addict/alcoholic and you relapse you are probably aslo acting on a lot of behaviors that will push people away. But does that mean that your 12 step friends should shut you out? A lot of people in AA/NA have an "every man for himself" attitude, which shows that their mental stability or sobriety is pretty weak if they can't help someone else through the trenches step by step. How many people do you know in AARC who will stay friends with another graduate when that graduate is using? Honestly? I know none. So that friendship was never really strong. I made friends once with a severely addicted heroine junkie. I would never in a million years call her "toxic" just because of one addiction. Despite her addiction her spirit shone through. She was lost in one way, just like all of us get lost in some way. Don't you have overweight staff members? Does that mean that they are "toxic" and should be fired because of their food addiction? Should you "detach" from them so that they don't make you fat too?

I also think that with kids or teens the "tough Love" bit is a huge mistake. A few years back I read a study (can't remember who it was by) saying that addicts who came from families who continued to support them and allow them in their home had a better success rate of recovering, and were less likely to go as far down because of it. I say I think it's a worse idea for kids, because if you kick a fifteen year old out of the house and stop giving them cash, where are they going to go? They're going to do something a lot worse than if they'd just kept spending their allowance and coming home in the middle of the night. It's like encouraging your child to become a theif, dealer, or prostitute.

This has gotten a bit off topic...But it's just my two cents on living with addicts and being a better friend in general.

90
News Items / Who knows Dean Vause - lets have some facts here too
« on: November 06, 2002, 08:07:00 PM »
I completely disagree with the "detachment" theory. I know that many people in AA and Al-Anon abandon someone as soon as they seem a little messed up and justify their means by saying that they had to "let them go" so that they could "focus on themselves" but that's not friendship. I think it's self centered and cowardly. Detachment to me means that you stop feeling pain for someone, and that you don't let their troubles take you with them, not that you turn them away. In the twelve steps, and in AARC, you repeatedly recieve messages that everyone is going to be there for everyone unconditionally, and that these are the deepest friendships you can ever have. I'm sure that's why Brian returned to AARC for support, and I'm sure that's why he took it so hard when he made a mistake and nobody was there for him anymore. Can you see it from this perspective? I ask because I know it's not just Brian, but plenty of other graduates who sway away from the AARC clique then change their mind and decide to come back, and nobody is happy to see them again. I know one graduate who relapsed shortly after graduation, was honest about it, but wanted to maintain their friendship with the other grads in the worst way. Nobody would have anything to do with that person anymore just because they'd relapsed. That person hadn't changed a bit, just changed one behavior, isn't that when you are supposed to be there for them the most???

I don't doubt that the AARC staff who had once been close with Brian grieved his passing. I also don't assume that AARC is the sole reason why he passed. But I do think that his experience with Kids and AARC together probably contributed largely, and that being turned away from this group he put so much love into may have broken the last straw.

As for "research" the people posting as friends of Brian were able to know him the best shortly before he left, but Brian is the only person who could tell us why he chose to do it.

Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 14